True Darkness

[warriorscribe]

Characters: Enoch and anyone (except one that's semi-closed but open to threadjacking)
Setting: Throughout the rest of the week (the first one is on his previous post), various floors
Format: Whatever works for you, I'll follow!
Summary: Enoch and the event
Warnings: Lots of angst, and a severed hand. Spoilers for El Shaddai chapter 9 and beyond. Also this is so long, holy shit.

Aug 12

Elevator

The four shadow children that had shown up yesterday proved to be patient. Enoch had woken that morning to find them clustered around his bed. It would be cute, if they weren't so unsettling, if he didn't just know something was amiss from the way Jason had said you'll see what you broke. That's not something you say when the result is harmless.

And yet, some gut feeling, some odd sense of familiarity, keeps him from striking out at them preemptively like he does any Imps he finds. Maybe he's still in bad enough shape he'll even take the dubious company of whatever these are. Either way he heads into the elevator, with any number of other residents with their own followers.

F78 - Mailroom

He doesn't realize when one more joins the crowd inside the elevator, until he steps out and it follows him. He looks at the newcomer as if asking what it's doing there. It just grins wide and trots up to the front of the group. Feeling more and more like he is leading a pack of shadowy imprinted ducks, he continues down to the mailroom.

Where he can be found, sitting slumped against the wall of boxes, cradling a broad, masculine hand, nearly identical to his own in proportions but darker in tone. The hand is open and a gold-plated hairclip, bloodstained, rests in its palm.

And he was doing so well, too.

But now he's just staring at it, weeping quietly. The newcomer shadow child wanders up and stands on its toes to get a better look at what Enoch's holding.


Aug 14, ultimately anywhere on the stairwell below F38

The hand had gone into his sauna locker. Not his trunk, he didn't want to scare any newcomer that accidentally opened the wrong one. And somehow he didn't want to throw it out. That was probably the emotional instability speaking. The hairclip was now pinning the plastic casing over the card Armaros had given him in Meridian closed. He was staring at this while the rain pounded the windows of the middle lounge, the one closest to his work floor. He had almost gotten used to the shadow children following him. At the moment, the original four had clusered around the sofa he's in, the newcomer having climbed up and onto the back to sit by his shoulder. It had been the most active and curious of the bunch, always taking a rapt interest in what he was doing. It should have been a clue, really.

"I miss him," Enoch whispers to himself.

"Armaros?" says one of the shadow children in front of him, in Uriel's voice, pointing at the one sitting on the back of the couch beside him. "But he's right there."

Enoch stares at the Uriel-shadow, and then looks back at the shadow child, fear quickening his breath. "Armaros...?"

"Yeah...or what's left of me, I guess." He says in a voice Enoch could only remember from hearing a mental equivalent in Meridian. He sounds sullen, disappointed. "Some hero you turned out to be. They shouldn't have made that card for you."

"Haven't I helped you when you needed it most, when you were about to die?" says Uriel. "Why did you leave me to die?"

For a moment, all Enoch can do is stare. The pain doesn't immediately sink in.

"I don't think you deserve that card anymore..." And with that, Armaros-shadow snatches it from his hand and rushes off. Others may encounter Enoch chasing the shadow child, desperate to get that memento of Meridian back. (Only one responder may take this. Currently: tohko_amano)

Or perhaps they'll find him having already taken it, looking very distressed at his crowd of shadow children, now in a circle and actively speaking against him. "No...please stop...I can save you." (Else)


Aug 15, Anywhere

More have shown up to follow him. Solas. Zeph. Lucifel. He might have thought it illusion if they didn't feel true the way being back in Meridian felt true. It was pure intuition and he knew that could be tricked, but it didn't change anything.

"It was supposed to be forever." I thought so too, Armaros...

"'I'm not going anywhere'. Least you could've done is return the favor..." I'm sorry, Lucifel.

"I'm dead now. Even if you restore everything, I'll be killed anyway." He didn't want to believe it. But...it was probably true. Either way, Solas would die.

"Way to get our world destroyed, Enoch. To think I actually trusted you." I'm trying to fix things, Zeph. It wasn't even his fault, but...it was his fault they were like this. Because Zo had saved him.

Enoch, his collar a lighter blue but not even noticing, leans on the wall, wherever he is, begging the shadow children to stop, his conviction wavering with each repetition until he just doesn't say anything anymore. He drops to his knees and tries to hug one, but his arms pass right through. He tries this several times throughout the day, appearing more and more distraught.


Aug 16, F101

Morning

Until he just doesn't have the energy for tears. Enoch has half-carried, half-dragged Lucifel, even worse off than he is, to Dax's sapling, his collar running mostly clear by now. He can see Princess Zelda against a tree nearby, but she seems too far gone to notice him, and to be honest, he doesn't have the energy either. He collapses with the barely-alive angel in the real dirt just as the glamour cuts out, rendering them a pair of wireframes, souls casting the barest blue and violet glows beneath their clothes. Lucifel's is much weaker than his own, and Enoch rests his hand over Lucifel's torso where the angel's soul is.

"Nice replacement," says Lucifel-shadow. Armaros-shadow wedges himself into the crook of Enoch's arm, not speaking but cooing softly, when hearing that comforting sound only hurts.

Enoch breathes shallowly, feeling the rise and fall of Lucifel's chest with his hand. Someone might be able to encounter them while they're both still alive.

After some time, Enoch realizes Lucifel has stopped breathing. There's a weak sob from him, but he can't react any more, can't lift his head, can't move his arm. He doesn't realize he's attracted one more shadow child with those that Lucifel's presence has driven away until a new voice speaks, strong and bold, female.

"My name is Ishtar, Enoch. But you will never know me by that name because you're here, playing a facsimile of my role. But instead of resurrecting me, you're trying to become me. You can't. You don't even care about people you should. Where are the voices of the Freemen?"

"That's not true," Enoch croaks.

He hears nothing more from the shadow children, feeling from them instead an overwhelming sense of disappointment.

He can still talk loud enough to be heard by someone nearby, and his presence might still drive away someone else's shadow children if his bond with them is strong enough. For however long he has left, he can at least be a guardian.

Afternoon - closed

As his consciousness grows hazier, the other shadows start picking up Ishtar's idea of who he isn't hearing.

"Come to think of it," says Gabriel-shadow, looking around, "You started families and made friends while searching for the Tower, correct? Did you love them? Where are they?"

"Um...weren't you married before Heaven?" Armaros-shadow adds. "What about your first wife and child, I thought those were important."

"You know who else you're not hearing?" says Lucifel-shadow. "Well. I guess you can't hear a voice you've never heard at all. But still, you know, He's dead too. 'Cause you're not. Just thought I'd remind you."

The color drains from Enoch's soul.

Comments

THREAD SEMI-RESERVED FOR LUCIFEL AND ENOCH BY THE SAPLING

[warriorscribe]

They're going to die. By now he knows it. He can't bring himself to say anything, but he's sure Lucifel knows, too. At least Lucifel's presence provides some relative silence among his shadows, driving away all but Armaros and causing his counterpart to hesitate, lingering a little ways away and speaking less often.

Re: THREAD SEMI-RESERVED FOR LUCIFEL AND ENOCH BY THE SAPLING

[brbtalkingtogod]

The moment he heard His voice among the shadow children following him Lucifel was unable to bring himself to keep himself up any longer. He was just so tired... And unable to make another move.

Today he would die. He would die surrounded by is own, by now five, shadow children, hearing the voices of his world blaming him for their end. And Enoch would follow after him soon.

Only two of his originally shadows were speaking to him. The one representing the Enoch of his world sat next to Lucifel's left, remaining silent, Michael- and His-shadow sat on his right, speaking more and more. The two newer ones stood there, looking at the Archangel with tilted heads.

[warriorscribe]

Enoch's fingers loosely clutch at the fabric beneath them.

"Lucifel..." He had to at least talk.

"What?" said the lingering shadow promptly. "Oh, right. You mean the replacement. Guess I'll be replaced no matter what I do."

August 15th

[bashfulshifter]

"H-H-Hey!"

With a surprising amount of conviction, Rick saunters his way towards the middle of Enoch's group of shadows at a brisk pace, head bowed and fists clenched. His eyes glint with single-minded purpose--despite the fading blue of his collar--despite the three shadows that continue to tail him, just as determined as he is. But fretting over them won't make things right.

Rick will continue on his path until he's forced himself somewhere between the pack of shadows and their victim (though given their intangible nature that shouldn't be a problem) and will stand firmly in place.

"H-H-He's b-been through e-e--enough. Leave--leave him alone!"

[warriorscribe]

Enoch, still leaning on the stairs, watches Rick try to interfere with his shadow children. They just phase right through him, of course, but he gives Rick a pained little smile.

He isn't sure what to say, really, whether it's thank you or I'm sorry.

"How can you smile at the man you killed?" Gabriel-shadow asks. "He wasn't attacking you in any way, don't you remember?"

And the smile slips away.

"I'm...I'm sorry."

[bashfulshifter]

For just a moment, Rick freezes in place. His own shadows lunge at his ears like rabid dogs on a corpse--

Come running home to the man that killed you? Really? Fight with someone once and you'll fight with him again, even if he stabs you in the back. Honestly, how stupid can you get?

No, no, he deserved the blade after everything he did. It was the only way to get him to stop. Better off if he just stayed dead, if you ask me. Save everyone the trouble having to deal with his groveling.

--and they were right. But to lie down and beat himself up was to accept death again, and accept death for everyone else he knew in the Tower, and that was inexcusable. Clenching his fists, Rick turned around to face Enoch proper, brushing away his shadows in the process.

"--You d-did e-exactly what n-needed to b-be d-done, and y-you're the...b-bravest person I know f-for doing it. You...sh-shouldn't be sorry...b-but if it helps, I...I f-forgive you."

He held out a hand.

"...I'm s-sorry, too. P-Please...let me m-make it up t-to you."

august 15

[puppy_lancer]

...You can't.

[Lancer mutters, catching sight of Enoch trying to hug one. He knows. He's tried. More than once.]

See? It just goes through.

[Regardless of whether or not Enoch is paying attention to him, he tries to pet one of his shadow children on the head, only for his hand to pass through. He repeats this several times before settling for holding his hand just above the shadow's head.]

I can't...pet him.

[warriorscribe]

*Enoch just stares at the shadow child he'd tried to hug for a while, before looking up at Lancer and his own.*

We can't even apologize for not being able to save them...

"This is the first time you've even said anything like that!" Zeph-shadow snaps. Enoch cringes.

[puppy_lancer]

Or for having hurt them.

['You killed me.'

'And you wasted your chance to save me.'

'You haven't learned anything. You never saved Aunt Scathach either. The world had to end for her to be at peace.']

[Unlike Enoch, Lancer doesn't show much of a reaction to the insults. He just closes his eyes and accepts the,]

also the 15th /joins the comment train choo choo

[crouching_sin]

[Naoya crouches, slipping an arm around Enoch's shoulders. He's ignoring his own trail of shadows - and it's a veritable parade of them, though they're not saying anything he's not heard before.]

Come on. You can't rest here.

[He brushes the hair away from Enoch's face, glaring at the shadows harassing him.]

Leave him alone. He's done nothing wrong. Begone, you foul illusions.

[(How selfless.) (It's all an act though.) (You don't care about anyone.). Naoya rolls his eyes at his shadows.]

Will you all just kindly fuck off?! Thank you.

[He returns his attention to Enoch.]

[warriorscribe]

They're not-...

*Not illusions, he fails to say. He doesn't have the strength to argue this again. Maybe it was something in the way Armaros-shadow said what he did, or maybe something too familiar in Lucifel-shadow, something subtle and owing to time that's difficult to recreate.

Maybe it's just the sense of familiarity they've been exuding all this time. Maybe it's what Jason said. Maybe it's the same thing that made him so sure the wastes of Meridian were real.

...He just leans into the comforting gesture.*

...Thank you.

[crouching_sin]

You're welcome.

[He pulls him into his lap a bit, wrapping his arms around him more tightly.]

I'm here. I told you I would be. So ignore them for now. Focus on me.

Starting with August 12th

[brbtalkingtogod]

A hand reached out to tap the scribe's shoulder. "Hey." Lucifel too was followed by a little squad of three shadow children when he had woken up but tried not to think too much of them. As long as they we just watching there was no harm done, right?

"You have a swarm of them too, Enoch?"

[warriorscribe]

"It seems as if nearly everyone does." Enoch smiles at him, though. Sure, they were unsettling, but their lack of aggression makes him feel safer in focusing on his friend.

"These started following me yesterday. I don't suppose you have any idea what they are?"

[brbtalkingtogod]

"Funny, I haven't noticed them until today." Lucifel shrugged but smiled back at Enoch. The three shadow children were sticking close to the archangel, showing no intention of leaving him alone anytime soon.

"Time will show what they are."

14th

[scentofmakai]

Zett's three shadows follow Zett into Enoch's crowd, but thankfully Enoch won't be able to hear them. Their curses are for Zett alone, anyway.

"If anyone could save you, it's Uncle Enoch," Zett adds to what Enoch is saying, though he doesn't know what it's in reply to (he can guess). "So what use is it to you to hassle him?"

Re: 14th

[warriorscribe]

"You couldn't even save the people of the Tower at home," says Uriel-shadow, before Enoch can respond.

"Do you know what he is, Enoch?" asks Gabriel-shadow. "How can you call him like family?"

"So it's true, then," says Raphael-shadow dejectedly. "You've forsaken us, for this."

"His world is different," Enoch tries to explain to them. "In his world, God is a tyrant, bent on destroying free will..."

"I'm disappointed in you," says Michael-shadow. "My brother always said of you that your piety was beyond compare. How dare you say such a thing about the Lord, and make a liar of Lucifel?"

To say Enoch had no pride would be wrong. He was humble in many respects, but as far as he knew it was his piety that had so impressed God he had the honor of being invited up to Heaven alive. And his devotion to God had always been a core part of his identity. He took pride in having that validated by the deity himself.

And here he is now, listening to a twisted shade of the Archangel Michael tear it down. A twisted shade because of the two worlds that made up what was destroyed, he was arbitrarily chosen to be saved and Michael was not.

Enoch's head lowers as the Archangel-shadows crowd around him, talking over one another as they lay into him for his allegiance with a demon, and for accepting that any version of God could be evil.

[scentofmakai]

"Y'know, making a friend feel this bad about himself isn't particularly heavenly either."

Zett sits beside Enoch, glaring at the phantoms surrounding them. "What does that say about you, huh?"

He can't exactly hear what they're saying to Enoch, but his reaction is enough.

12th, elevator

[sicharia]

Oh. Hello.

[She smiles at Enoch as she steps into the elevator, but the expression seems twitchy and nervous, and for reasons that extend beyond lingering discomfort about what had occurred in June. She has amassed a fairly sizable group of followers herself, the number approaching double-digits, so perhaps it isn't hard to guess why.]

[warriorscribe]

Ah...hello. So they're following you, too...

*Enoch's own group of four is for the moment lost in her own crowd. If they had started following him here, he'd never have known.*

[sicharia]

Ah... It seems so. [She laughs, awkwardly.] They're... They're eerie, aren't they? But they don't seem to be bothering anyone. I wish I knew what they wanted...

[She touches a hand to the center of her chest—more specifically, to the cross hanging underneath her clothes. She traces its shape as she talks, as though that will help her think more clearly somehow.]

15th August - in the corner of a Hallway somewhere?

[neverbeamemory]

Clearly others weren't doing so well.

With his choir of wide-grinned, shadowy shapes gathered behind him whispering thoughts that Sephiroth wasn't listening to - the silver-haired man regarded Enoch when he dropped and tried to hug one of his shadowy companions. From down the Hallway a little, Sephiroth fought the urge not to scoff. Are all of the other residents so easy to take the blame, to feel the regret for something that wasn't their fault?

"Why don't you care like that?" One of his own, more immature phantoms breathed but Sephiroth had been dealing with them for a few days already and that comment wasn't even worth whatever energy was spent conjuring it.

"Enoch." Sephiroth muttered when he passed close enough, but stayed a respectable distance at the same time. However he and the angel had their differences, their disagreements, their outright arguments (albeit anonymous on the network) before - Sephiroth retained an odd variation of respect for the other man. Respect perhaps, for their similarly strong willpower. Not that Enoch was demonstrating very much of that in this instance though.

I did check your permissions post beforehand but I'll still edit if the fourthwalling isn't okay

[warriorscribe]

Surely Sephiroth has heard of survivor's guilt. Enoch would argue, too, that a display of emotion is not a display of a weak will. Here he is with the twisted shadows of his loved ones, obviously hurt so badly they seek to blame where they would not. Of course he would want to try to comfort them.

When Sephiroth speaks, he looks up, still kneeling with the shadow child he'd tried to embrace. He's had a hard month so far; there's a tired look to his eyes with no dark circles under them to lend blame to physical causes.

"Hello, Sephiroth." Still, he tries to be polite.

"This man broke your friend's arm," Gabriel-shadow reminds him.

"He aspires to godhood," says Michael-shadow.

"Did you know he killed a woman while she was praying?" Lucifel-shadow says, causing all the other shadows to look at him suddenly, as if this was unexpected. "He's kinda famous for that."

Enoch looks at him too, expressing all the confusion of the others and actually having a proper face to do so.

"I don't believe I've ever heard that one...ah, sorry." He looks up again at Sephiroth, remembering that other people can't hear his shadows. His gaze sweeps the other man's veritable parade of shadows, incredulous.

As if trying to be background noise, Armaros-shadow murmurs, "So why are you greeting him like normal, if he hurt your friend? ...I guess you'd do that anyway, you're still friends with Lucifel."

The 14th, The stairs outside floor 28, trying to get the card back.

[tohko_amano]

After finishing her library duties, Tohko had wandered up, trying to shake out a bit of her sorrow by wandering around and helping whomever she could find. Of course, that didn't stop her four shadows from following her-her parents were usually a few steps behind her, and Chia usually stayed on her right while Konoha remained on her left. She had stopped into the music room to talk with her shadows a bit and calm down before wandering on..but that was when she saw another shadow running down the stairs holding a card, with Enoch running after it.

Quickly, she ran out of the room, trying to follow them and help out-obviously, that shadow had stolen a card of Enoch's, and he wanted it back-and her shadows followed her, Konoha and Chia speaking to her as she did so.

"Didn't you tell that guy everything about your past? It would have been really nice if you told me, Tohko. Not that I would have written another book, but at least I wouldn't have been kept in the dark."

"She fell in love with him too, you know!~ It must be really nice to feel that, Tohko. But now there's really no hope for me to be human like this."

As she ran, she quietly replied to them, telling Konoha that she was sorry and that she should have told him sooner and telling Chia that there was still hope..before calling out to Enoch.

"Enoch, I'll help you out! Just let me know what I can do! And I don't know whose ghost you are..but please let go of that card! It belongs to Enoch, and making him sad isn't going to help anything!"

[warriorscribe]

Calling out to them would do nothing, naturally.

"Intercept him!" he called, making a lunge for the card and missing, having to jump in midair to get on the stairs again.