towerofanimus | In Vita Mea

Characters: chaos and you!
Setting: The 12th in the mailroom, The 13th on the 81st floor, wherever you wish on the 14th, and the Graveyard on the 15th.
Format: I'm starting in prose, but I'll match you.
Summary: After getting his 'wonderful' gift, chaos has to deal with his shadow children, who eventually drain on him, leading to his eventual death in the Graveyard on the Fifteenth.
Warning: The usual angst for this event and character death.

chaos hadn't wanted to look into the minds of his shadow children ever since he first saw what lurked in the mind of Shadow Mary. He didn't know if what he saw or if these children weren't an illusion, so he kept hoping that they were as he went about his daily routine for the Tower, which included checking his mailbox. However, he stopped dead in his feet when he saw what was in said mailbox. Mary Magdalene's belt, all tied up to form a noose, even though simple suffication alone wouldn't kill him. Trying to stay calm, chaos pulled the belt out of the box..but that was when his shadow children decided to speak.

"That's a wonderful gift for you. If you hadn't existed, I might still be alive. Earth might still be around. It would be much better for everyone if you didn't exist." chaos opened his mouth to reply to Shadow Mary..but was cut off by an entirely different shadow before he could.

"I might have actually been able to live a normal life too. Or one where I managed to accomplish something. You had to be saved before I could manage to do something for the universe. It really is terrible, you know." chaos bit his lip at Shadow Nephilim's words and closed his mailbox before going onto the stairs, his shadows following him as he went. He needed to get away, find a private place where he could weep over their words and untie the noose. Illusion or not, those words stung..partially because he knew that they were half-true..except for Nephilim's. Sadly, he did not know what she was talking about, and that saddened him.

While he had managed to untie Mary's belt and wore it everywhere, his mind was still pretty lost and messy, so he had come here to think and ateempt to calm down. chaos usually stargazed to calm his mind, even though the stars were false. After all, even false stars could be soothing..but the voices of his shadow crowd prevented him from fully enjoying them.

Shadow Shion spat at him, saying that it was a shame that he was too afraid to tell her the truth, or else they might have been able to do some good for their universe before this happened, and Allen kept whispering in his ear, saying that it would have been nice if he had been able to get through to Shion without hurting her..but now he wouldn't ever have that chance, thanks to him. Jr. commented that chaos shouldn't have bothered saving him if this was how it was going to all turn out, and Wilhelm calmly said that he was worried, something that would have unnerved chaos normally.

However, chaos simply bit his lip and clenched his fists, trying to calm his mind and shut them out..even though it was almost impossible to do so.

Since his tactic from yesterday had pretty much failed, chaos would be wandering around the Tower, sometimes teleporting places, sometimes not, in an attempt to shake off the shadows. Whether they were illusion or not didn't matter now. All that mattered was that their words cut into him like a knife, and if he heard much more, he would break down and weep again. However..he did notice that his collar color was draining as he did so and knew that he would probably die if something wasn't done..but like before, in his own universe, he couldn't think of anything to do, and that just pained him even more.

chaos..was exhausted. Judging by the color on his collar, he was probably going to die by having his soul fly out of his body, but even if he wasn't, he wanted to fall asleep and die near where his friends graves were, even though they kept speaking to him as he slowly made his way down to the graveyard. When he made it there though, they all became very quiet. Whether it was because he was finally going to die or because they hadn't gotten a single vocal response from him was unknown..but chaos appreciated the quiet as he found the makeshift plot of land he had planted thirteen pieces of wood back in December, curled up in front of Mary's grave, and started to fall asleep as he heard her speak.

"Good. So you're finally going to die."

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While chaos heard and felt Sertoria, he was exhausted, and the fact that the shadows were telling him that it was good that he died and terrible that he abandoned them and caused them so much trouble didn't make him want to become lucid either. Sighing, he slowly shook his head and spoke, half-lost to slumber.

"Sertoria..please let me sleep. I am exhausted. Just for a little while, let me rest."

Sertoria moved chaos so he could rest comfortably in her arms. If he was exhausted, she would definitely be here with him to console him. Her cheek rested on the top of his head as she smiled sadly.

"I will not let you go through this alone, chaos. We will go through this together."

Her hand moved to rub at his arm consolingly as the gentle hum of her circuitry would be heard from her chest.

This time, chaos actually sighed as he relaxed..but oddly enough, did not go to hug. He didn't feel that it would be right to do so with Mary watching, even if she was an illusion. He was still loyal to her, even if he had been with other partners over the years.

"Then will you rest with me? I cannot promise that we shall share dreams..but it is always nice to sleep with company."

Sertoria saw what chaos was doing and didn't blame him. She knew that with Joshua would have wanted her to comfort a friend, especially someone as close as chaos was.

"I will not go anywhere. I will rest with you like this, if you want."

At that, chaos nodded as Shadow Mary spoke up, saying that she didn't know that chaos had abandoned her for a different, but very similar girl. This, coupled with chaos's previous feelings, made sure that he wouldn't hug her for comfort as he slept, even though he would have normally done so.

"Please, if you want, I would like you to stay."

Sertoria didn't need to be as intelligent as she was to guess that he was having something similar happen to him. The shadow children were vicious, especially when they carried the faces of those one loved. Her eyes slipped close and she wore a brave smile.

"I am his friend and chaos has helped me since my return to the tower. If you would like, I could be your friend. Just please stop hurting chaos, all right?" She wasn't even sure that they could even hear her, but if it could alleviate his pain even slightly, she would do anything.

"I will stay. Do you want me to tell you a story or sing a song while you rest?" It hurt to have yet another friend of her's die in her arms, especially when it happened recently, but Sertoria would do anything for someone in their moment of passing.

Edited 2013-08-15 05:55 (UTC)

They didn't really carry the faces..but their words and voices were brutal, especially to people who cared about them..and knew that the words they spoke were half-true. As Sertoria appealed to the shadows, chaos sighed again, hearing their responses.

Mary said that there wasn't any way she could accept another person for chaos to be happy and forget the past with when he had caused her so much pain, Wilhelm said that he had to be reminded so that future errors did not happen, Nephilim said she wouldn't stop tormenting the person that had given humanity words that had ripped apart her life, Allen screamed that he wouldn't forgive chaos for ruining any chances he had to make Shion happy and dry her tears, and Jr. said that he couldn't be nice to a person who had left him like this.

Their angry screaming made him sigh again. "They will not listen to you. It is best..to just ignore them. But if you wish, I would like..to hear you sing. Please."

Nephilim, sadly, commented on how she hoped this song wouldn't destroy something, but chaos ignored her, even if that comment did sting. All he wanted right now was to sleep.

"What is this, Sertoria? You could not wait until you finally died, so you needed to get a replacement for me? Pitiful..."

"I really wish this tower would stop defiling our loved ones' memories. We work hard and suffer so that they can have a chance to come back once we are finished here," remarked Sertoria with a twinge of anger in her tone. Anyone who threatened or besmirched Joshua's name around her earned more than a simple talking down to.

She swallowed and searched her database for a song to sing. Her headset rotated to where she could use them as a speaker to amplify her music. Soon, not just the graveyard, but the entire floor could hear a peaceful melody while also rocking chaos in her arms gently.

Well..that wasn't quite what chaos had meant by singing, but it would do. He just wanted to sleep, and the melody and gentle rocking helped calm him down a little..but not to the point where they blocked off the shadows.

"Would if help if I sang too, chaos? I'm sure you wouldn't mind seeing quite a few people die, since you hurt us so badly."

Inwardly, chaos sighed at Shadow Nephilim before speaking to Sertoria again. "..It is not wholly doing so..and some will not be able to come back, even if..we restore everything here." As he spoke, he closed his eyes, trying to fall into a deep sleep.

Sertoria hadn't really been asked to sing before, due to how mechanical her voice really was and the fact that she didn't practice her true singing voice up until now.

She continued rocking him, still humming the melody under her breath. She never liked saying goodbye to a friend like this, but if they really wanted to die...

Instinctively, the android pulled chaos to her tighter as her frame shook, her grip tightening on him in her arms. Her chin now rested on his head as she frowned heavily.

"Please promise me you will be safe when you are revived..."

Not that chaos would have really minded how mechanical her voice might have been. As long as she tried her best, that was all he really cared about. That and falling asleep right now.

chaos didn't really want to die..he just wanted to sleep, and if death came with it, he would have to deal with it. After all, they did come back to life here. He could feel Sertoria trembling, so he lightly nodded as he spoke..

"I shall be.."

..before falling asleep for good. He wouldn't wake up again for quite awhile.

Even though Sertoria knew that people could come back to life here, it still hurt to see someone she cared so deeply for go. Her headset returned back to normal as she stared down at chaos' sleeping form. She noticed his collar was completely white at this point and she was sure her's was to follow eventually.

"This is not the place for you," she spoke nearly lifelessly as she carefully got up with chaos in her arms and walked out of the graveyard, her head lowered.

"Some savior you are! You can't even save those you care about, so you let them die regardless. You make me sick, Sertoria... or shall I say CXEV5001?" Shadow Drusilla spoke up while laughing sinisterly at the android in front of her.

"Disgraceful. Did I not teach you anything? Though, not much is to be expected from an outdated model like yourself. You do not deserve to call yourself my disciple, CXEV5001."

A small sob crawled out of her throat at that one before she shuddered, her grip tightening on chaos' form. She went down to the dormitory floors, over to her room as her shadows continued to pick and pry at her open wounds before she got to her room. She carefully placed chaos on her bed before shrugging off the robes Joshua gave her. The android forced a smile on her face, covering him up as if her robes were a blanket.

"Now you are giving him something I gave you? You really know how to cast people to the wayside once you are done with them, Sertoria... I did not know you had it in you to be so cruel and heartless."

"I will see you when you wake up, okay?"

Edited 2013-08-16 15:09 (UTC)