towerofanimus | [open] // do what we must because we can

Entry tags:

[open] // do what we must because we can

Characters: Waver and open
Setting: Floor 27, cafeteria, dorm floors
Format: Either
Summary: Tea, science, and sleep are Waver's priorities. In that order.
Warnings: None yet.

[floor 27]

[Waver had spent the majority of his time in the laboratory; being the leader of the group researching the clear collar fluid, he might have felt obligated even if it didn't fascinate him. Luckily (for some value of the word), he was a researcher that often became utterly absorbed in his work to the point of forgetting everything else. 'Minor' things like sleeping and eating, for example.]

[Though he hid it the best he could, if the ponytail-wearing magus looked exhausted that was likely no one's imagination. Today he was looking over his own hastily-written notes and narrowing his eyes at the container of fluid itself as though it had perhaps insulted his mother, thin cloud of cigarette smoke hanging in the air in front of him.]

[cafeteria]

[It was a remarkably simple thing, tea. Last time it was available, Waver had taken quite a bit of it to store in his trunk (along with a whole lot of alcohol.)]

[Then, glamour failure. If asked for one petty thing Waver would never forgive the administrators for, he would always answer with that.]

[Needless to say, he'd finally dragged himself away from his work long enough to enjoy the shift in provisions. Today in the cafeteria one could find a magus in a black and green suit sitting by himself, looking over near-incomprehensible notes with a cup of tea in his hand.]

[And if one happens upon him in the evening, it's likely he's minding his own business and leaving with a bottle of wine or two, liquid mercury maid trailing a step behind him.]

[dorm floors]

[Only at some ungodly hour did Waver finally give up for the night and leave the laboratory, Volumen Hydragyrum behind him carrying two bottles of wine. If he was willing to stop at all, it was likely he'd reached his physical limit or damn near to it. Sure enough, it had been several days since he slept a full night--or slept, period. As a result Waver was pale and walking just a little unsteadily, but at least he didn't seem ready to drop dead.]

[Drop into a coma when he got to his room, sure. But not drop dead.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[A gentle smile chases away the frown from Diarmuid's face. Though he knows the alcohol must be talking since Waver didn't usually say things like that--at least not so bluntly--it is still nice to hear it.

He reaches up and starts to stroke his friend's hair again.]

You know I don't worry about myself as much as I do the others, but thank you. It's good to know someone is watching out for my foolish self since I still don't seem to know how to.

I want to protect you.

[The admission was quietly spoken, but lacked much in the way of hesitation.]

That's my selfish desire...to stand as someone that doesn't need to hide behind you anymore. Maybe then I can repay you for..you know, everything.

[He shook his head, laughing in an almost self-deprecating tone.]

I should stop that. Every so often I say something idiotic that makes me have to remind myself that the two of you are your own individuals. [Waver fell silent for a moment, expression shifting to something almost dejected.]

Do you...think I'm treating you like a replacement?

No.

[The answer, though soft, is quick and confident.]

You know you don't, Waver. We both know I'm not him. Why...

[Diarmuid turns away slightly, expression growing sad.]

...why do you think I so foolishly worry I might lose you if he ever showed up here? I'm not him. I'm not the one you owe so much to. I'm just a tool that was used by a different master and thrown away...

[He presses his lips together before turning to look back at Waver.]

He was lucky to have you then and would be even luckier to have you now because you can stand by yourself now. You are so much stronger than you once were. Why do you think I am so honored to stand by your side? Why do you think my selfish desire is to stay with you forever?

Diarmuid... [Waver set aside the bottle, reaching to carefully place a hand on either side of the knight's face.] I'll never-...I'm not like him. I can't see any Servant as just a tool or a weapon, especially not you.

[Leaning his head against Diarmuid's, Waver's voice had a distinct strain to it as he continued. Though his words were reasonably clear, his less than flawless state of mind started to come out in an oddly rambling train of thought.]

Even if you're not the same--no, because you aren't, I want to stay by your side. If I couldn't help you then, I want to do as much now. If the implausible happens and I'm able to see him again...both of you are of immeasurable importance to me. I just--this is a sentiment I don't think I can even understand, much less explain. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, even if that works out to being less time than either of us would like.

I know you aren't like him. That you can never be like him.

[Diarmuid leans into Waver's touch as if to emphasize his words.]

It's just that once it has happened--once you have had everything you care about and believe in crushed like that--it's hard to forget how it feels. But you know this, don't you? He did the same thing to you.

[He falls silent then, listening as Waver continues to speak. His friend's words cause a warmness to grow inside of him--a feeling of safety and happiness that he has been chasing after for so long. However, even as Diarmuid feels this, a sadness tints the smile on his face. He had noticed Waver was saying things more freely than he normally would before and let it go, but now...he cannot in good faith let it continue.

No matter how good it makes him feel.

He lifts his hands so that they cover Waver's and looks his friend in the eye.]

You have no reason to try and explain further. I understand, and you have no idea how happy hearing that makes me feel, Mo Stór. Not only have you granted my wish once, but twice.

[The first time Waver had allowed his version of Diarmuid to fight bravely for his master until they could go no farther. Even though he had not been the one to be there, Diarmuid is sure from what Waver has told him about the events, that the other version of himself passed happily, satisfied with his actions in the war.

And the second wish? Perhaps, Diarmuid had been hasty or over-simplifying what he wanted when he had said not long after coming here that all he really wished for was to find someone to love him without his curse having had a hand in it. Perhaps, what he really wanted was just to know that there was someone out there that believed in him, cherished him, and actually wanted him to be around for who he was, not what he was.

Waver freely does all those things and that is why Diarmuid is so unbelievably happy and at peace when his friend is around.]

However, as much as I would like to continue this conversation with you, I know you have already said more than you probably mean to. You are going to be mortified in the morning when you wake and the drink has worn off.

Idiot. Seems cruel to say I'm glad he's dead, but I sure as hell don't miss him.

[Waver was vaguely aware he had a bad habit of talking too much when he was drinking. Which was a good percentage of the reason he rarely did it around other people. (The rest being that he generally hated a lot of other people.)]

Hm...I probably will, won't I? Guess it can't be helped...not like I'm lying, anyway. I'm not afraid to stand by what I say truthfully, even if I wish I hadn't said it.

[If it was anyone else, Waver would be horrified the next morning. But what really was there that he was afraid to admit to Diarmuid of all people?]

No, I know you aren't lying. I was just worried you might get mad at me for not stopping you when I know you usually wouldn't say these things.

[Diarmuid shuts his eyes for a moment and leans further into Waver's touch.]

I don't want you to regret saying what you just did. It means too much to me. If you decided to take it back...

Please...don't take it back...

[Without really considering what he was doing, Waver leaned forward and gave Diarmuid a light kiss.]

Never. I meant what I said; you're mine. Nothing's going to change that, and I won't be ashamed of telling the truth.

Thank you.

[Diarmuid blushes lightly and is surprised--very pleasantly so--at the kiss.]

You're taking my lessons to heart. I approve.

[On the surface it sounds like a joke, but below it there is a definite undercurrent of strong approval and that approval is only reinforced when Diarmuid leans forward to gently return the kiss.]

It's not often I meet a teacher that's as good as I am. Heaven forbid I ignore such expertly taught methods.

You're teasing me now.

[Diarmuid bows his head slightly, blush darkening.]

It is just nice to see you being more free with your emotions. I know that your work makes it so that you have to hide them, but you don't have to do that around me. You never have to do that around me.

...this is a little pathetic, isn't it? Speaking freely only because I've been drinking so much...yeah, that's pretty damned sad.

[A look of dissatisfaction crossed Waver's face as he tried to consider the implications of this.]

I'm already more open with you than I am with anyone else, even here. I don't think there's really much more I can do about it past that.

Mo Stór,don't.

[Diarmuid leans in and gently kisses him again.]

We both know you only did it because it was necessary. As long as you remember to let yourself be free around me--maybe even without the alcohol influencing you from time to time--then it's okay. What's more, it's all I could ask for.

[He laughs, slightly embarrassed.]

I might get jealous if you start being too free with your emotions after all.

You of all people know how hard it is to trust others. I doubt I'll ever be able to be entirely at ease with anyone else as I am with you.

[Diarmuid nods, smiling gently.]

I do. I just want to make sure you know how honored I am that you do trust me so much. I don't want you to get the idea I don't cherish everything you share with me.

Don't be stupid. I'd have to be a concussed moron to get that idea.

Mental note. Don't let Waver become a concussed moron. I think that should be simple enough...

One can only hope.

Hope...and maybe get some sleep. What do you say?

[Diarmuid reaches up to stroke Waver's hair.]

Do you think you're ready to give that a try?

Considering it's either that or continue babbling like an idiot, I think sleep is somewhat appealing for a change.

I like you babbling like an idiot. It's cute.

[Yes, he did just duck back behind his arm. Diarmuid is fully expecting to be hit for that.]

I'm not cute.

[Waver apparently didn't feel up to much more than a frown and halfhearted shove.]

Don't be stupid.

[Diarmuid was expecting to be hit, not pushed so he is startled. It's not enough to actually knock him over, but he goes for it anyway, pulling Waver with him. Once the are both on the bed, he turns his head to grin at his friend.]

Cute. Especially when you are being all frowny and pouty like you are now.

Hmph. I don't think you understand the meaning of that word at all.

Sure I do. My interpretation is just a...rare one. They are worth more, you know.

[open] // do what we must because we can

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