towerofanimus | you should smile, little thing

Entry tags:

you should smile, little thing

Characters: au kariya & open.
Setting: out & about. .. ngl he's probs lost.
Format: i action-spam, but feel free to reply in prose if that's more comfortable for you.
Summary: this is one upset little body horror.
Warnings: body.. horror via worm infestation?

[ waking up in a strange place when he'd just been with lancelot had been not only jarring, but extremely upsetting. he'd spent the first few minutes in a terrified haze, vainly searching the room for his servant. he can't sense him anymore, though the seal remains on the back of his right hand. so.. shouldn't that mean he's still here? he'd said he wouldn't leave kariya. he'd sworn it, that he'd be by his side as long as he could.

that had been before saber, though. before he realized he'd have to fight his king for the grail. that he'd have to choose between her and a little boy he barely knew. maybe.. maybe he'd made his decision.

there are letters, but kariya can't focus to read them right now. he's upset and frightened and he hurts. he always hurts these days. father says the pain is a good thing, that it means the crest worms are making him stronger, to take care of his family. kariya doesn't understand it, of course, but if it's what father says, then it must be the truth.

father isn't here. lancelot is gone, father is gone, and kariya is all alone in a strange place and he doesn't know what to do.

he has the presence of mind to fold up the letter, tucking it into a pocket. he slips out, then, little bare feet silent on the floor. he has no idea where he is, and there are rooms everywhere, and stairs, and-- he has no idea where he should go or where he should begin looking. surely, after all, this is a test. father likes testing him. so.. so he can't cry, because crying doesn't do any good. and anyway, it always makes father angry. instead, he takes a deep breath, picks a direction, and starts walking.

residents of the tower may later find a small, white-haired boy with an eyepatch and bare feet wandering the various halls and rooms. ]

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.. What happened?

[ the thought is so foreign that he can hardly comprehend it. no magecraft? no mana? ]

Dead Apostles screwed everything up for the rest of us.

[He rolls his eyes like this is an inconvenience. Also, he still has Kariya's hand from their handshake, so he starts to pull him toward the other Kariya's room again. (As luck would have that, it's not too far from Shinji's own, either.)]

[ shinji's world makes less sense than even his own does.

he mulls over that thought as the other boy tugs him toward a room, hurrying to make sure he doesn't stumble.

.. this must be the other kariya's room. it's a weird thought, that he'll be meeting.. himself. ]

[It's weird to Shinji, too, in that he isn't really sure how he's supposed to handle the introductions here. It's too late to change his mind, though, so he lifts a hand and pounds on the door as loudly as his little fist can manage.]

[Kariya, as it so happens, is in his room, and Lancelot isn't. He often leaves to fight monsters and patrol the tower when Kariya is safely asleep. He never sleeps deeply, so he rouses himself at once at the sound of the knocking. His roommates don't need to knock, so it must be someone coming to visit--although who they're visiting, he's not sure. His other roommates aren't as given to sleeping in the middle of the day.]

I'm coming.

[And he opens the door a few moments later, looking down at the two boys. He smiles, glad to find Shinji on the other side.]

Shinji, it's good to see--

[When he gets a good look at the other boy, his smile doesn't fade at all, but he blinks in confusion.]

Oh. Hello.

[He doesn't understand, his thought processes curtailed as usual--that looks like him, but if he's so young, why is he in that condition?]

[Shinji doesn't bother with a greeting. Instead, he grumbles, feeling awkward for reasons he is both consciously and unconsciously aware of.]

I found this and thought you might have a better idea of what to do about it.

[ he stares up at the grown-up in surprise and confusion. this is definitely some strange second magic. it's him, but he's an adult. he looks like he's in worse shape, too.

maybe that's how he'll look in a few years.

realizing he's staring, he ducks his head, fingers twisting in his shirt, good eye fixed instead on his feet. ]

I-- I didn't know you were a grown-up.

Shinji... [But he doesn't want to reprimand him, and he's gotten used to Shinji's manners. He knows Shinji was trying to do the right thing, which is sweet of him.] I see. That was a good idea.

[This isn't his first time seeing another version of himself, but the other Kariya had been quite different than this. He sinks down, lowering himself to the other Kariya's level. He's still not sure why he has crest worms inside him if he's so young--it's a terrible, sad idea--but it's no reason to be anything less than kind to him.]

Yes, I am. It's nice to meet you, Kariya.

[Shinji isn't really sure what to say now. He doesn't respond to the words actually directed at him. (Don't tell him it was a good idea like he's some common brat! God!) Part of him wants to say he has done his part and leave, but...]

[He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, uncomfortable.]

Yeah, it's pretty obvious your timelines don't match up. You're not the only ones here with that problem, though, so don't feel too bad about it.

[He tries to sound casual as he says this, like he has no investment in the issue personally.]

[ kariya glances up through the lashes of his good eye at his older double, then to shinji at the explanation. it's so.. strange. and there's no guarantee that his adult self has the same sort of history he does, but-- maybe he does. and maybe he has answers about the war.

he offers a tentative, slightly shaky smile at his double. ] It's-- It's nice to meet you, too. [ hesitantly, he lifts his right hand to show the seal, head tilting slightly. ] Were.. you a Master, too?

It happens a lot. People come here from different worlds and different times, and even if they seem the same, they might be different. It can be confusing, but I'm sure you'll get the hang of it.

[Kariya returns the other Kariya's smile, gently.

He's surprised to see command seals on the hand of anyone so young, let alone himself.] I am. [He holds up his own hand, which also bears command seals. (His other hand, however, doesn't exist at all--he still hasn't died and regained the arm he lost in the monster attack.)] I'm a Master now.

Maybe the Grail War happened at different times for you two.

[And, with that suggestion given, Shinji tries to shoulder past Kariya the Elder and into his room, because ~~it's more comfortable than standing out in the hallway~~ he doesn't want to be seen with you losers, obviously.]

[...The "shouldering past" motion is more careful and conscious of his not-uncle's condition than Shinji would actually admit to, though.]

[ kariya moves aside willingly to let shinji past, not willing to irritate the other boy any further. he stares at his older self's seal, then his missing arm, then glances back up to his face. ]

It's Lancelot, isn't it? Mine isn't here. I can't sense him at all. [ he bites his lip, little shoulders hunching faintly. ] Even.. though he promised..

[ he trails off, then shakes his head. there's no point being upset about it. maybe it wasn't lancelot's fault he's not here. and even if he doesn't want to be here.. well, what was kariya really expecting? his own father thinks he's barely more than worthless. if he'd wanted to keep lancelot, he should have fought harder, been stronger. ]

[Reminded of the fact that he's standing in the door by Shinji's act of shouldering past, Kariya retreats to let the other Kariya enter, following after Shinji.]

Come in. Would you like to sit down?

You're right, Shinji. It must have. My war just started, and I only started training a year ago. Or--a year before I came here.

[He can see the boy's disappointment, and he doesn't want him to feel bad.]

Yes, it's Lancelot. But I'm sure he's the same person. So--of course he'll want to help you, too. I know he wouldn't want to break a promise. Even if he didn't know he made it.

[Shinji makes himself at home quickly, hopping up onto the bed of one of Kariya's roommates without any particular care. Feet swinging slightly where they dangle, he suddenly jerks to attention at the mention of Lancelot.]

Wait— You summoned him as a Lancer?

[Not that that in itself is odd, it's just—he feels strangely relieved that it isn't Diarmuid. Maybe he's still a little peeved about everyone seeming to like him but him.]

—Anyway, Kariya [he gestures to the older one for clarity] is right. Lancelot's not that kind of guy, and it's not like we have a choice about whether we come here or not.

[ kariya startles a little at shinji's exclamation, nodding once in affirmation. ] Father thought I was probably strong enough to win with him. Especially after the Crest Worms.

[ he fidgets with his eyepatch, trailing in after his older self and politely closing the door behind himself. ]

I.. don't want to be a bother. He's-- He's not my Lancelot.

Lancer. I see.

[That's probably better than Berserker, he thinks but doesn't say. Berserker had almost killed him. He frowns at the thought of such a young child being given Crest Worms, and not just because it's him. He's honestly not surprised Zouken would do something like that. Maybe it's more surprising that that didn't happen to him. Somehow he'd been able to escape, even if he'd been dragged back.]

A bother? You'd never be a bother.

I know he's going to be happy to see you. The administrators say we're all from different worlds, and that no two people are from the same one. If that's true, maybe he's not my Lancelot either, even if we remember the same things, but he always keeps his word.

Yeah, literally no one else cares. Get over it.

[ shinji's comment earns a distressed glance (he's not quite sure how to respond to anything the other boy says), but he hesitantly nods at his older self's reassurances. maybe.. maybe it'll be okay to meet lancelot, if nothing else. he'll be careful not to be demanding or clingy, though. despite what both of them say, kariya's very well aware of his own worth, after all, which isn't very high yet.

he shuffles closer after a few moments, pausing at the bed shinji is seated on before carefully pulling himself up on it to sit on the edge. ]

K-Kariya-san-- [ it feels really weird to say that. ] --if Shinji-kun wants to learn magic.. how come you haven't taught him? [ it's an honest, curious question as he glances back up at the older man, gray eye wide and serious. after all, he doesn't think he's really qualified so much as his older self might be. ]

[Kariya nods encouragingly at the boy, with a smile. He's sure Lancelot will be able to make him feel better.

At Kariya's question, Kariya looks at Shinji, curious. Shinji hasn't expressed any such desire to him.]

Shinji hasn't asked me to teach him. I could, but--really, I'm not that strong of a magus. I left home rather than learn, when I was young. I only started training last year. So I could enter the War.

[Jeez, Kariya, put him on the spot, why don't you? Shinji's cheeks color, the boy seeming uncomfortable in a way that's hard to place, and then—]

And obviously I wouldn't want to be taught by a weakling like that.

[—as usual, he responds to the pressure, real or imagined, with defensive harshness.]

[ a little more in his element, finally, kariya glances back at shinji again, shaking his head. ] The basics are always pretty much the same, Shinji-kun. Even if Kariya-san isn't very experienced, you could have learned those from him.

[ he swings his legs slightly, hands bracing against the edge of the bed as he considers what he wants to say. ]

Father has been training me since I can remember. I know a lot of stuff, but.. I've only had to use it in a fight once or twice.

He could have.

[But Kariya dislikes magecraft and magi. If Shinji wants to learn, that's fine, but... Kariya isn't sure how he feels about it. Magecraft is dangerous, but more than that, power has an effect on those who wield it, on their characters. He doesn't want to see Shinji turn out like anyone in his family. He's still so young.

He won't say anything about it, especially not in front of the younger Kariya. He doesn't know what to say, glancing away, conflicted. He doesn't want to think about a child being made to fight with magecraft. It's terrible.]

There are many different kinds of magic here, so there must be different people to learn from. [And maybe some with less awful magic.]

What about Waver? He's a teacher.

Please. There's no way I'd want to learn from him, either. [Shinji hasn't actually met the older Waver, so there's likely some miscommunication happening here, but his answer would remain the same regardless. He does his best to ignore the way he can feel his face heating up.] Rin started, but she's not here anymore.

[His shoulder jerks as in a small shrug as he adds that.]

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you should smile, little thing

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