you should smile, little thing

[infesting]

Characters: au kariya & open.
Setting: out & about. .. ngl he's probs lost.
Format: i action-spam, but feel free to reply in prose if that's more comfortable for you.
Summary: this is one upset little body horror.
Warnings: body.. horror via worm infestation?

[ waking up in a strange place when he'd just been with lancelot had been not only jarring, but extremely upsetting. he'd spent the first few minutes in a terrified haze, vainly searching the room for his servant. he can't sense him anymore, though the seal remains on the back of his right hand. so.. shouldn't that mean he's still here? he'd said he wouldn't leave kariya. he'd sworn it, that he'd be by his side as long as he could.

that had been before saber, though. before he realized he'd have to fight his king for the grail. that he'd have to choose between her and a little boy he barely knew. maybe.. maybe he'd made his decision.

there are letters, but kariya can't focus to read them right now. he's upset and frightened and he hurts. he always hurts these days. father says the pain is a good thing, that it means the crest worms are making him stronger, to take care of his family. kariya doesn't understand it, of course, but if it's what father says, then it must be the truth.

father isn't here. lancelot is gone, father is gone, and kariya is all alone in a strange place and he doesn't know what to do.

he has the presence of mind to fold up the letter, tucking it into a pocket. he slips out, then, little bare feet silent on the floor. he has no idea where he is, and there are rooms everywhere, and stairs, and-- he has no idea where he should go or where he should begin looking. surely, after all, this is a test. father likes testing him. so.. so he can't cry, because crying doesn't do any good. and anyway, it always makes father angry. instead, he takes a deep breath, picks a direction, and starts walking.


residents of the tower may later find a small, white-haired boy with an eyepatch and bare feet wandering the various halls and rooms. ]

Comments

[infesting]

[ when claudia goes to pat his head, he flinches beneath her hand, though he stills when he realizes that it isn't meant to hurt. he's not entirely sure what the purpose of the gesture is, but it seems to be something claudia needed to do, so he doesn't mind it. the idea of choosing his own wife (a word which still has a nebulous, puzzling meaning, though he at least knows they're generally ladies) is such a foreign concept to him that it's actually a little bit upsetting. father makes all the decisions, after all.

he realizes he's made a mistake, though, when big-kariya speaks. the reminder that his father and lancelot and everyone he loves and should have been able to protect are all dead, spoken so bluntly, makes him immediately duck his head. his hands clench in his shirt, wide, upset gray eye staring unseeingly down at his feet. he's trembling suddenly, fear crawling up his spine. he'd let himself get too comfortable, to speak too boldly to people. they're grown-ups, after all, and kariya-- ]

I'm s-s-sorry, Kariya-san. [ he can barely eke it out, voice shaking almost as badly as the rest of him. he knows better than to ask not to be punished, but it's still terrifying. there's no basement here, he thinks, no father with a cane or painful spells. but that just means the familiarity is gone. ]

[sicharia]

[Claudia immediately stiffens, startled by the abrupt turn of events, and for a second, she isn't sure what to do or who to go to first. Her first impulse is to go to the child before the adult, so she does so, kneeling down again. This time, she doesn't move to touch him; his reaction to her touch to his head shortly before wasn't lost on her.]

[Gently, she tells him:]

It's all right. You haven't done anything wrong.

[She looks up to the elder one, then, her lips parting just barely—but she doesn't know what to say to him. She wants to go to him, too, her expression one of concern above all else, but at the same time, she feels obligated to stay beside a trembling child. She looks back to him again.]

He isn't upset with you.

[vermicompost]

[Of course, Kariya feels instantly sorry when he sees he's made the child upset, but he doesn't regret his words or think he's wrong. Zouken deserved to die for what he'd done. Kariya would have killed him himself, if he could have. Even if the worlds are restored, somehow, Zouken shouldn't be. He'll have to figure out some way to keep him dead. Even if he doesn't know how that's possible.]

No, I'd never be upset with you. Never.

[Not as cautious as Claudia, he goes to the younger Kariya and tries to put his arms around him, to hold him. Blood gathers at the corner of his mouth, his heart beating harder for all his efforts.]

It's all right. Don't be afraid. No one will hurt you, not if I can help it.

[He'll kill them.]

[infesting]

[ he stiffens as kariya's arm comes around him, shaking and uncertain, not recognizing the gesture for several moments. eventually, though, it comes to him-- it's been a long time since he's had one, but isn't this a hug? when he'd been younger, before he'd been forbidden from visiting kariya, his older brother had given him hugs after trips to the basement. he'd wrapped kariya up in a blanket in his lap and read from a book of fairy tales. .. kariya's forgotten what the stories were like, almost forgotten his brother's face, but he remembers the warmth. of course, now he has lancelot, and while lancelot doesn't hug him precisely, he does hold him and pick him up to carry, and he's kind and warm and everything, everything that's good and worth protecting in the world.

but this is a hug, definitely, and it's not from his brother and it's not from lancelot, but from someone who really has absolutely no reason to care about him or what happens to him. he doesn't know how he's supposed to respond to it, or even if he's allowed, but even so-- he realizes somewhat belatedly that his hands have come up, clutching at big-kariya's shirt as if it's the only thing in the world keeping him from falling through the floor into oblivion. he takes a shuddering, tear-laced breath, blinking moisture away from his good eye. ]

I-- I don't-- [ he hiccups on a sudden, overwhelmed little sob. ] I don't-- understand. Wh-Why are you b-both being-- so nice to me?

[sicharia]

[She sees the way Kariya stiffens at first, and she automatically tenses as well. It's only when his arms come up and reciprocate the action that she shifts closer to the pair of them, one hand coming up to settle softly in the child's hair—and the other resting against adult-Kariya's back with equal gentleness.]

[The question catches her off-guard, too. She never quite knows how to respond when anyone says something like that to her, and when those words come from a child, they're upsetting on top of confusing. Someone so young shouldn't see reason to ask that question.]

Why wouldn't we be? [Her brow knits together even as the words leave her mouth, fingertips brushing the ends of his hair.] There's no reason not to.

[vermicompost]

Because we care about you.

[He holds the other Kariya tight. He doesn't care about why, he just knows that he does care, for a lot of reasons, and that's what matters. It's not just because this child is him in a way; they've had different lives and are from different worlds. It's because he genuinely cares what happens to him. Their childhoods were different, but not completely different. Childhood had been very hard for him, too. He understands his suffering, and he wants to end it, no matter what that takes. Every child should have someone who loves them.

Encouraged by Kariya's hands touching his shirt and Claudia's hand against his back, he leans down to kiss the top of Kariya's head.]

So don't worry. You won't be alone.

[infesting]

[ now he really is crying, and he should be ashamed of himself. he's too old for it, and crying never fixes anything, and he's supposed to be strong. but his family is dead, and lancelot is dead, and these people are being nice to him and telling him they care and he won't be alone, and it's all just too much.

he hiccups again, burying his face in kariya's neck, clutching at him with small, shaking hands. ] I'm s-- I'm s-sorry--! [ he can't stop, though he knows he should. big-kariya is a lot sicker, and the worms have eaten a lot more of him, and he knows he shouldn't be clutching him like this. but he feels safe like this, and the only person he's ever felt this safe with is lancelot. ]

[sicharia]

[Claudia is sure that there are a lot of things in play here that she doesn't know about or understand, but that doesn't change the fact that just having a crying child in front of her is enough to make her feel—protective. She remains where she is, close to both Kariyas, her fingertips brushing the child's hair as she murmurs out a gentle, hushing sound.]

It's all right. [Then:] It'll be all right.

[She can't say she knows for sure what he's trying to apologize for, but she does know that he hasn't done anything he needs to apologize about.]