Kirei "problems" Kotomine (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
god_damned) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-09-07 04:40 pm
god_damned) wrote in towerofanimus2013-09-07 04:40 pm
To see a world in a grain of sand
Characters: Kirei Kotomine and OPEN
Setting: The Dormitories (1-04). Floor forty-eight (the graveyard). Aaaand wildcard meanderings which you can happily place at your leisure!
Format: Brackets.
Summary: Kirei wakes in the Tower and explores his new surroundings.
Warnings: General disclaimer that Kirei is an awful person, discussions of suicide in his thread with Claudia, and specifics will be added as necessary.
Dormitories
[ He reads the letter, and he feels nothing.
What should he feel? Sorrow? Perhaps another person would label his utter lack of response as a state of shock or disbelief, as if he were denying the gravity of the message. However, while Kirei is reserved about taking those words as full truth, it is not a fool's hope which motivates him to such skepticism. What was lost in that world that he could mourn? Very little, in the end.
However, there is the War he left behind – and with it, he left behind the Grail, and his one chance to have his questions answered.
Perhaps it isn't nothing after all, but the feeling in his chest is not that of an honest man. But does it matter? Now, there is no remaining trace of his life save for a trunk of impersonal, unimportant things.
Regardless, he opens it, changes into his vestments, and exits into the hall. ]
Floor Forty-Eight
[ It is only natural that he finds himself in a place like this.
The graveyard stretches before him: like an echo of the world which he has been told is gone. He steps toward and kneels before a stone, trying to read its worn lettering with no success. It is difficult for him to determine why he makes the effort; perhaps he expects to see a name he recognizes.
Perhaps he expects to see his own. ]
Wandering
[ It is similar to the day he woke with the Command Spells, in a way, when he finds himself in this place. He was thrust into a world of unknown to him, of magi and their Holy Grail War. At the beginning, he had not understood his involvement in such a battle. Then, he spoke to Archer...
Perhaps this Tower is the same: he does not understand it now, but he can explore. He can discover more of it, and of himself.
But will what he finds favor him, or destroy him? ]
Setting: The Dormitories (1-04). Floor forty-eight (the graveyard). Aaaand wildcard meanderings which you can happily place at your leisure!
Format: Brackets.
Summary: Kirei wakes in the Tower and explores his new surroundings.
Warnings: General disclaimer that Kirei is an awful person, discussions of suicide in his thread with Claudia, and specifics will be added as necessary.
Dormitories
[ He reads the letter, and he feels nothing.
What should he feel? Sorrow? Perhaps another person would label his utter lack of response as a state of shock or disbelief, as if he were denying the gravity of the message. However, while Kirei is reserved about taking those words as full truth, it is not a fool's hope which motivates him to such skepticism. What was lost in that world that he could mourn? Very little, in the end.
However, there is the War he left behind – and with it, he left behind the Grail, and his one chance to have his questions answered.
Perhaps it isn't nothing after all, but the feeling in his chest is not that of an honest man. But does it matter? Now, there is no remaining trace of his life save for a trunk of impersonal, unimportant things.
Regardless, he opens it, changes into his vestments, and exits into the hall. ]
Floor Forty-Eight
[ It is only natural that he finds himself in a place like this.
The graveyard stretches before him: like an echo of the world which he has been told is gone. He steps toward and kneels before a stone, trying to read its worn lettering with no success. It is difficult for him to determine why he makes the effort; perhaps he expects to see a name he recognizes.
Perhaps he expects to see his own. ]
Wandering
[ It is similar to the day he woke with the Command Spells, in a way, when he finds himself in this place. He was thrust into a world of unknown to him, of magi and their Holy Grail War. At the beginning, he had not understood his involvement in such a battle. Then, he spoke to Archer...
Perhaps this Tower is the same: he does not understand it now, but he can explore. He can discover more of it, and of himself.
But will what he finds favor him, or destroy him? ]
no subject
[ Perhaps it is not so unlikely, given that others of this Tower recall the same history as himself. Word of such a thing may pass to the Servant himself easily enough. Still, it takes him by some measure of surprise.
It does not strike him as odd to explain himself. There is nothing to risk by revealing those details, as his War has long since been left behind. ]
I had no experience as a magus, nor any desire for the Grail itself; Tokiomi Tohsaka became my teacher, and my role was to assist him.
[ But even as he says this, he feels an uncertainty. It was Gilgamesh, after all, who made him question this, who encouraged him to stand against Tokiomi instead... ]
I lost my Servant; my duty was completed.
[ Yet his Command Spells remain. ]
no subject
[He listens with a patient, intrigued smile as the priest details his circumstances, his expression remaining the same even as he picks out the oddities in his tale. Speaking of his role in the War as if he was duty-bound to assist another Master... What a strange notion, even if the other Master had summoned that world's King of Heroes.]
I have a feeling my other self found you a very interesting human, fake priest. The Grail must have seen some personal desire in you to bestow you with those spells.
no subject
He has just faced this conflict once, and to hear it again causes a stiffness in his shoulders. Is he so obvious? ]
You would be correct. [ Again, lying is pointless. Gilgamesh would know his own reactions. ] However, there is nothing to be gained from it now.
no subject
[He pauses deliberately, watching the man. The rigidness to his body could be for any number of reasons -- wariness to his presence, discomfort to his words, or maybe a learned tenseness from some training that magi did not typically undergo.]
Do you lack curiosity? Do you not wish to know what potential the Grail saw in yourself that you are obviously blind to?
[He averts his eyes to the priest's hand again, gesturing to the dark marks that almost seemed burned onto his skin.]
Clearly it did not give up on you.
no subject
His own gaze drops to his Command Spells, and his hand slowly clenches into a fist. ]
My curiosity is unimportant; the Grail does not exist in this world. It has been destroyed, along with any answers it may have carried within it.
[ Belatedly, he realizes his reply betrays a great deal more than he intends. After a moment, he admits this: ]
We have had this conversation; your other self and I.
no subject
[At the heart of his intrigue was the question of what this particular human could possibly impart on the world.]
That you have no clue what you desire simply means it is outside your normal realm of thinking. This tower is rich with ways to explore that mind of yours.
[What a wonderful use of a tower that seemed to embody both dreams and nightmares.]
no subject
No, I do not. [ It is too obvious to deny it. ] My curiosity is--
[ Kirei hesitates. The honest answer is that he does have a clue, but he refuses to accept it. He watches Gilgamesh warily, and he knows he should not ask, but still he speaks. ]
...what do you mean, when you suggest the Tower?
no subject
Each floor in this tower has fascinating differences and dangers. Create or destroy, kill or be killed. [There's a quality of amused laughter to his voice as he continues.] Perhaps if you have to struggle more, you will learn more about yourself.
no subject
[ Not his own struggle, at least, but someone else's...
Kirei cuts that thought off. ]
I am aware of the danger. It is unnecessary to warn me, King of Heroes.
no subject
[Archer laughs and turns, tipping his head to look back up at that bookshelf where he had left his wine. He really should retrieve that.]
no subject
These exact words are not the same that Kirei would have anticipated from the Gilgamesh he knew. ]
To what end?
no subject
[He looks back at the priest, his surprise showing openly for a moment. Then he scoffs and shakes his head.]
I am saying that you may be foolish with your life here, fake priest. How sad to think that you would consider death before something more pleasurable.
[A distinct pause. A faint tilt of the head, as he considers something that would not normally cross his mind.]
Unless you find death pleasurable.
no subject
[ Not his own, anyway.
That thought follows so easily, without him consciously realizing, and he's quick to crush it. His brows tighten, and his voice carries an obvious tension when he next speaks. ]
You are the one who said to attempt dying; do not turn around and address me as if I am the one worth questioning.
no subject
I find it very revealing of a person how they react after they die in this place. [Was it not obvious that everyone should come to the same revelation?] It does not matter the way they die; they must return and face what happened regardless.
[At least, that was the case for the ones given bodies in the Tower. He knew at least one who would never return from life no matter what happened in this world or the last.]
no subject
[ He does not state this boastfully, with any ego that assures him that he would return unscathed. It's simply that he had resigned himself to die by his own hand before; the idea of death does not frighten or disturb him now. Pain is inescapable, but he has suffered that as well. Still...
Would it awaken something in him? He cannot be sure. ]
Have you survived so far?
no subject
[He gestures broadly with a shrug, though there is an irritated twitch to one eye as he replies. The question brought to mind the particular ways that he had died in the tower -- many of them "fake" because they had occurred while he was trapped in the body of a creature, and one "genuine" in its devastating truth.
But the priest had asked if he had survived. Which he has done so far.]
This tower cannot defeat me. Do not think otherwise!
no subject
[ It seems, that even summoned under a different Master, many things remain the same. ]
I had no doubt.
no subject
[He sounds a little grouchy, leveling an almost petulant look at the priest for pointing out how he had avoided answering the question outright. But it quickly fades as he decides to breach the subject anyway.]
If you are referring to how this place destroys my constructed body when the administrators play their games, then yes, it is irritating in that way. There are two administrators in particular who seem to enjoy twisting and mutilating their captives.
no subject
That idea lingers as he continues with another subject: ]
And who would those administrators be?
no subject
[This would be a good time for him to go on about his opinions of the administrators, too.]
There is a woman -- Ruana, they call her. She above all the others calls what she does "games." A month with her in control had her announcing a game where a handful of people were cursed into dog-like creatures that wore masks and represented different emotions. [He makes a disgusted motion with a hand, thoroughly disliking thinking of that situation because he had ended up cursed as well.] The cursed did not know they were transforming into monsters, and the monsters would reanimate when they were slaughtered at night.
[He pauses then, crossing his arms with a focused look as he continues.]
The other fool is known as Jason. He claims to be a scientist of some sort, but I cannot see any benefit to the experimentation he does to people. Cutting off limbs and mutilating them before reattaching them, integrating their bodies into inanimate objects. There is no science there.
no subject
These things he's saying... they're horrors, what he is describing, and Kirei is very aware that no one within the Tower -- even a Heroic Spirit with all their might and magic -- could stand to fight it.
What Kirei feels in response... his chest tightens, and is it fear? Not exactly. He doesn't fear pain or death, but his pulse quickens with something like adrenaline.
Why does this idea excite him? ]
I imagine they cannot be stopped, in any fashion, or resisted.
no subject
In his annoyance, he doesn't think too hard about why the priest's eyes widen as he replies.]
This body they have trapped me in is even more restrictive than the vessel used to summon me. If even my greatness can be contained, of course no one else can "resist" them. They control the whole tower.
no subject
[ He is quiet for a moment, contemplative, before he continues, his voice quieter than it should be. ]
I suppose it cannot be helped.