Kirei "problems" Kotomine (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
god_damned) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-09-07 04:40 pm
god_damned) wrote in towerofanimus2013-09-07 04:40 pm
To see a world in a grain of sand
Characters: Kirei Kotomine and OPEN
Setting: The Dormitories (1-04). Floor forty-eight (the graveyard). Aaaand wildcard meanderings which you can happily place at your leisure!
Format: Brackets.
Summary: Kirei wakes in the Tower and explores his new surroundings.
Warnings: General disclaimer that Kirei is an awful person, discussions of suicide in his thread with Claudia, and specifics will be added as necessary.
Dormitories
[ He reads the letter, and he feels nothing.
What should he feel? Sorrow? Perhaps another person would label his utter lack of response as a state of shock or disbelief, as if he were denying the gravity of the message. However, while Kirei is reserved about taking those words as full truth, it is not a fool's hope which motivates him to such skepticism. What was lost in that world that he could mourn? Very little, in the end.
However, there is the War he left behind – and with it, he left behind the Grail, and his one chance to have his questions answered.
Perhaps it isn't nothing after all, but the feeling in his chest is not that of an honest man. But does it matter? Now, there is no remaining trace of his life save for a trunk of impersonal, unimportant things.
Regardless, he opens it, changes into his vestments, and exits into the hall. ]
Floor Forty-Eight
[ It is only natural that he finds himself in a place like this.
The graveyard stretches before him: like an echo of the world which he has been told is gone. He steps toward and kneels before a stone, trying to read its worn lettering with no success. It is difficult for him to determine why he makes the effort; perhaps he expects to see a name he recognizes.
Perhaps he expects to see his own. ]
Wandering
[ It is similar to the day he woke with the Command Spells, in a way, when he finds himself in this place. He was thrust into a world of unknown to him, of magi and their Holy Grail War. At the beginning, he had not understood his involvement in such a battle. Then, he spoke to Archer...
Perhaps this Tower is the same: he does not understand it now, but he can explore. He can discover more of it, and of himself.
But will what he finds favor him, or destroy him? ]
Setting: The Dormitories (1-04). Floor forty-eight (the graveyard). Aaaand wildcard meanderings which you can happily place at your leisure!
Format: Brackets.
Summary: Kirei wakes in the Tower and explores his new surroundings.
Warnings: General disclaimer that Kirei is an awful person, discussions of suicide in his thread with Claudia, and specifics will be added as necessary.
Dormitories
[ He reads the letter, and he feels nothing.
What should he feel? Sorrow? Perhaps another person would label his utter lack of response as a state of shock or disbelief, as if he were denying the gravity of the message. However, while Kirei is reserved about taking those words as full truth, it is not a fool's hope which motivates him to such skepticism. What was lost in that world that he could mourn? Very little, in the end.
However, there is the War he left behind – and with it, he left behind the Grail, and his one chance to have his questions answered.
Perhaps it isn't nothing after all, but the feeling in his chest is not that of an honest man. But does it matter? Now, there is no remaining trace of his life save for a trunk of impersonal, unimportant things.
Regardless, he opens it, changes into his vestments, and exits into the hall. ]
Floor Forty-Eight
[ It is only natural that he finds himself in a place like this.
The graveyard stretches before him: like an echo of the world which he has been told is gone. He steps toward and kneels before a stone, trying to read its worn lettering with no success. It is difficult for him to determine why he makes the effort; perhaps he expects to see a name he recognizes.
Perhaps he expects to see his own. ]
Wandering
[ It is similar to the day he woke with the Command Spells, in a way, when he finds himself in this place. He was thrust into a world of unknown to him, of magi and their Holy Grail War. At the beginning, he had not understood his involvement in such a battle. Then, he spoke to Archer...
Perhaps this Tower is the same: he does not understand it now, but he can explore. He can discover more of it, and of himself.
But will what he finds favor him, or destroy him? ]
no subject
It's just—
[She struggles with herself for a moment, then tells him:]
I'm not proud of myself. I'm not as strong as you are. I'm not strong enough to be able to do what is required of me, or trust myself to make the right choices...
[Which, as far as she's concerned, is just proof that her taking the role of Master over him is some kind of mistake.]
no subject
[ It is an honest question. A different tone would make it sound accusatory or presumptuous, but he asks with legitimate curiosity. Is that truly what she thinks of herself, or is it simply brought on with guilt of seeing him again?
She says she is not as strong as him, and she is incorrect. He glances over her, and even if she is steadier than he remembers: standing tall and without support, there is signs of that frailty still within her. ]
Only physically.
[ Otherwise, he is a much weaker man, in ways which are dangerous to name. ]
no subject
[She doesn't like her physical weakness, either, and especially not in this place. It makes her a burden to others with no way to adequately repay them. Even when she tries to protect herself... Her expression pinches.]
I'm useless.
no subject
[ He states this simply, not in any defensive or chiding tone.
Where he follows blindly, without reservation, she wavers and holds herself back for her own personal beliefs. She would not accept an order to kill, the way Kirei does without hesitation, and that is because of her convictions being powerful in their own right. ]
You are mistaken.
no subject
[Her hands ball up at her sides, and she swallows.]
What good am I if I can't even serve the Church? Or if I can't do anything to help the people here?
[She couldn't save Kirei. She can't save anyone, not on her own.]
no subject
[ It seems impossible to hear this from her. She, who is nothing short of a saint, somehow finds herself weaker than him. She somehow believes herself less worthy than a sinner. ]
You are stronger than you realize.
More than I.
no subject
[She wants to remind him that the way she had faltered cost him his life—that she isn't the same woman he knows—but she falters there, too. She bites her lip.]
Forget it. [She shakes her head.] I don't think that's true, but it doesn't matter.
[Everything she admired about him was something she herself lacked, after all, so how can what he says be true?]