towerofanimus | Once bitten twice shy

Entry tags:

Once bitten twice shy

Characters: The Ψiioniic and YOU
Setting: hall on the 2nd floor of the dorms to start with, after that we can move elsewhere
Format: Prose preferred but I'll match you
Summary: Ψ is finally venturing out again
Warnings: Probably not but with the trolls you never know when it'll end in bloodshed and violence

It took a day or so before Ψiioniic was willing to venture out of his respite block again. Not that the room felt all that safe, considering Signless and Suzaku had attacked him in his sleep. Still safer than the rest of the tower, though.

When he did finally poke his head out, he was very wary and nervous, much as he had been when he'd first arrived in the tower. At least his had his powers firmly back under control, which made him feel a whole lot better about his ability to defend himself.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"No, it'th okay," Ψiioniic assured her, sensing from her tone that he'd upset her. "It was sort of the obviouth thing to ask." He reached out to her, smiling. "I'm really glad to thee you again, though. Especially since I can actually see you properly, now! Not being able to thee right was really disorienting." And more than a little frightening.

Her return smile was rather self-conscious, but a smile nonetheless. "I'm really glad to see you, too...!" Or, you know, as glad as she was capable of being. "I'm sure it's nice to see again." She wouldn't know what to do with herself if she couldn't see, but realized just in time that saying that was not exactly a good idea. In fact, saying a lot of the things she thought of saying seemed like bad ideas, now that she was inspecting them with a more critical eye. She'd opened her mouth to speak her original thought, but shut it again.

Ψiioniic honestly didn't mind when she just said whatever came to her, even when it was a litttle upsetting. She was so guileless it was obvious that she meant no harm by anything, so that made it impossible to hold it against her.

"It really, really ith," he agreed fervently. "And all my other powers are back to normal, too. For onthe, I was actually grateful to die! Though it'th starting to become a regular occurrence," he noted wryly. "That'th the third time since I wath brought here."

"--Wait, the third time...?" That was concerning; she only remembered hearing about one other instance, when he and Signless had gotten into trouble with the Condesce. By now she'd learned that violence was more common in troll culture than in any other one she was familiar with, but still, to have died three times... it was troubling to contemplate. The mention that he was grateful to die that time did little to comfort her, especially since it encouraged those rather concerning thoughts she'd had back when she was still under the influence of the experiment.

"Yeah, there wath the time when I killed myself, SS and the Condesce," Ψiioniic confirmed, "and then later I ran into my other previouth owner, Dualscar. He cut my throat when my Descendant came to try to get him to let me go, so I killed him ath I died to protect Sollux and Eridan."

He was completely matter-of-fact when talking about the battles. He would have been even if death were permanent, but the transient nature of death in the tower made it even easier to treat the violence as completely normal.

For trolls, it was just part of every day life.

Despite the matter of fact tone, the content was still a bit difficult to digest, and it was obvious in the way her brow furrowed. There were a lot of names and a term in there that she was not familiar with, and the name Dualscar in particular was quite distracting because she distinctly remembered that the troll she'd met on the aquarium floor had dual scars, but that could wait, even though it made her feel a little ill to contemplate. (What were the chances that it was just a coincidence?) "That's--...." She shook her head, not sure where to start. "...brave of you, I think. I'm... sorry that that happened. But-- what do you mean by 'Descendant'...?" His... child, maybe? But that was an odd way to put something like that, at least to her, although once again the culture gap could very well have been responsible.

Brave of him? Ψiioniic wasn't really sure how any of that counted as being brave, but he wasn't going to argue with the compliment. He just shrugged shyly. "Some trollth believe that the thame or nearly the same combination of genetic material might repeat itself over may breeding cycles, producing nearly identical trolls, generationth apart. With the exact same blood colour and the same sign," he tapped the large gemini symbol on his chest, "we'd be nearly identical in perthonality, as well. That's the theory, anyway."

He laughed softly. "I never really believed in it, but thince coming here I've met my Descendant, Signless's, and Dolorosa's. Supposedly Disciple's is running around somewhere, too. They're our Descendants and we're their Ancestors, because we were hatched a thousand sweepth before they were. And between my freakish mutationth and SS's, it'th pretty hard to doubt that there's some kind of connection, because what are the oddth that they'd happen again so far in the future?"

That was certainly a funny thought, and she could see why it might have been hard to believe. Although, she did have to admit that the resemblance between Roxas (and Ventus) and Sora was uncanny. Of course, it wouldn't have been surprising to discover that the three were even more connected than she'd realized.

There was another new name in this bit that she made note of, but still refrained from asking in favor of something else. She tilted her head slightly at the mention of 'freakish mutations'. Huh. Her slight confusion obvious, she looked Ψiioniic over very briefly as if searching for something she'd missed. She knew she was no judge of what was supposed to be 'normal' for a troll, and certainly Ψiioniic had some quite distinctive traits, but it hadn't even occurred to her that they might be in any way 'freakish' until the adjective was introduced. As for Signless, she couldn't even begin to guess what was so different about him in comparison to the other trolls. "What 'freakish mutations'...?"

"What..." he blinked and stared at her, his cheeks turning a dull shade of yellow as he blushed. Then realization set in. "Oh. Right, I guess it wouldn't be ath obvious to another species. I, ah, have a lot of doubled athpects. My horns, my teeth and tongues among, er, other thingth." His blush deepened and he hurried on to less embarrassing thoughts. "My eyes are weird becauthe of my vision twofold, and my brain ith... wrong. Which giveth me my powers, but also gives me nathty migraines. And not all my powers are thingth I enjoy having."

He wasn't going to get into the particular details of Signless' mutation, less obvious even to trolls unless you looked at his eyes. If she asked, he'd tell her, but the laundry list of his own mutations was probably enough for her to process. He shrugged. "They nearly culled me twice... onthe coming out of the breeding caverns as a wriggler, and again when I reached adulthood. But they decided I wath two powerful to waste," he added with more than a touch of bitterness. It was only his usefulness as a slave that had saved his life, and some days he wasn't sure he appreciated the trade-off.

"Oh...!" So those distinctive characteristics were more than just distinctive, apparently. Her eyes followed his words as he listed them and she only belatedly noticed the blush. Fortunately, her mind did not supply any possibilities for what 'other things' he might have been talking about. The look of realization that previously occupied her face made way for a very decided frown that looked suspiciously understanding itself. She wasn't entirely certain what 'culled' was, but it sounded entirely too much like 'killed', and the way it was used insinuated that it was, if not that, then something else quite unpleasant.

Her eyes drifted to the ground, and this frown was somehow different from the others. There was something a little bit inward about it. "...I know what you mean, about... abilities you don't want." Oh, she knew that entirely too well. Even if she was sure she'd probably find a sympathetic ear, she wasn't about to talk about her own abilities, at least not in detail. The limit she'd placed on herself still stood; the only way that she could be safe and keep everyone else safe from her own powers was if she didn't tell anyone, because if no one knew, no one could try to force her to use them or be forced to tell someone else themselves. In truth, she wouldn't have been surprised to discover that the people in control of the tower already knew, but they were not the only threat, and, at least for now, they hadn't tried to make use of those powers.

Her mouth tightened slightly as she thought. Her own powers had only made things more difficult, but... at least his own had saved him, if nothing else. She could understand the bitterness in his tone, all too well, "But I'm glad that they helped you stay alive this long. That's... something." The encouragement in that last part had more than one goal, it seemed; there were two people to encourage, after all.

"Yeah, it'th something," Ψiioniic agreed, smiling slightly and reaching out to stroke her hair once, gently. He hadn't missed the commiseration in her expression when she mentioned understanding unwanted abilities. He didn't know what she could do, and wouldn't pry, but if it was something they shared then it was certainly something to be sympathetic about.

"SS liketh to say that as long as we're alive, thingth can always get better, but if we're dead than they can never improve," he added. He left out his usual response, which had been 'yeah, but things can always get WORSE, too'. Now was not the time for his usual Mage of Doom pessimism.

Naminé was rather startled at the gesture, but despite her surprise did not move away. Normally, in her life at least, physical contact had never been a good thing. She knew that it wasn't like that for everyone, but she never failed to be a bit surprised when someone touched her. Even so, she was sure he had no intention of hurting her; if knowing him hadn't been enough to make her sure of that, the gentleness of it would have. In fact, it was actually kind of nice, now that she thought about it. Afraid that her brief pause and change in expression might have made him uncomfortable, she smiled back.

She was silently grateful that he had decided not to pry. At the quote from Signless, she nodded, and she kept smiling even though funny enough she couldn't help thinking the same thing that Ψiioniic left out. It was a nice thought, anyway. "He's right. That's a good way to look at things, I think." Now, if only she could manage to remember that when she really needed to.

Unfortunately, despite the belated smile, Ψiioniic couldn't really miss the fact that the touch had startled and initially maybe even upset Naminé. "I'm thorry," he immediately apologized. "It seems like all the humanth here throw themselveth at me in hugs all the time, tho I thought touching casually for comfort wath a human thing. Did I get it wrong?"

It was entirely possible there were complex rules he wasn't aware of that humans had for when it was and wasn't okay to touch each other. Probable, in fact. They were just so indiscriminate about it compared to what he was used to that it seemed overwhelming and omnipresent.

Perhaps if she was actually a proper human, it would have been easier to answer his question. As it was, her own lack of experience made her hesitate even longer than she might otherwise have in answering that particular query. The one thing she could say fairly quickly in the meantime was, "No, no, it's okay, you don't have to apologize. It wasn't your fault." His observation was in keeping with hers, it was true; the people here were... considerably more physically affectionate than anyone she'd been used to being around before... although, come to think of it, she'd seen many a memory that did involve a lot more contact than she had ever personally experienced.

"I've noticed that some of the people here act that way, but-- I guess I'm just not used to it." She shook her head, still running through her woefully inadequate first-and-second-hand memories in search of a better answer. "I think... that it happened a lot more for most people in my world than it did for me." Not that that was a difficult feat to achieve. The more she thought about it, the more it appeared that it was a lot more common than she'd realized. Wishing she had a more definitive answer, she finally settled on, "So I'm not exactly the right person to ask... but I think that it depends on who you're talking to. Some people might do it a lot, and some people might not."

"Yeah," Ψiioniic agreed fervently. "In my world, the only reathon most people would get that close to you ith to attack you. We're a pretty violent specieth as a whole. So I'm not really uthed to it, but it's kind of nice. Ath long as I keep reminding myself that they don't mean anything by it."

It seemed like every new thing she learned about the trolls' world made it seem even more dangerous. Careful to keep from frowning, she focused instead on the rest of what he'd said. "It is kind of nice. But that's the hard part - remembering that it's okay." Even for her, with her probably much less unpleasant memories. It was true that she had an excuse for her reaction, but she still felt bad about it. "... I really am sorry about before. Did I upset you?"

"No, I wath just worried I'd upset you," Ψiioniic assured her. "Maybe we can help each other get uthed to it, a little at a time. Are you okay? I wouldn't hurt you... barring the tower'th intervention," he added with a sigh.

It was almost unbearable that he couldn't make and hope to keep a promise like that. Knowing that HE could be turned against his friends was terrifying. As powerful as he was, he might blast them so far out of existence that they would never be able to come back.

She let out a small, relieved sigh at the assurance, a faint smile appearing of its own accord. Good. At least, it was good that she hadn't upset him; the next thought made her mouth flatten out again, just a bit, because really, he needn't worry about upsetting her when she had no heart to be upset with. She wished she had the guts to say so just as much as she was glad that she didn't, because while she felt guilty about not saying anything, she was also afraid of what might happen if she did.

"Yes, I'm okay." There was a tiny, barely noticable pause, then she added, "You don't have to worry about upsetting me." It wasn't exactly a full confession, but it was something. "And... it's probably for the best that we both get used to it, so... okay." ~~The touchy-feely types in the tower would probably get to her sooner or later, anyway.~~ "I know you wouldn't hurt me." Of course, look where thinking like that had gotten her back in her own world; she hadn't expected DiZ to order her execution, either, but he'd never been nearly as kind to her as Ψiioniic had been. Despite his sigh at the last part, she smiled a little wider, and even though the smile had a touch more wryness to it but still managed to look encouraging as she'd intended it to. "I would understand if-- something like that happened. I wouldn't blame you." Or 'won't blame him', as the case might turn out to be.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Once bitten twice shy

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject