towerofanimus | a totter'd weed of small worth held

Entry tags:

a totter'd weed of small worth held

Characters: England and all of you!
Setting: Floor fifteen, the workshop or floor thirteen, the cathedral.
Format: Starting prose. Have action? Will match!
Summary: Everyone has different ways of dealing with stress. England's chief outlets are consumption of tea, and a seam well-sewn.
Warnings: None yet (aside from England having girly hobbies and me writing tl;dr), though as always, most likely language later.

Floor 15;;

The nation heaved a sigh as he smoothed the fabric out over the work table. It was nice to have woken up one morning and not felt the pull of hopelessness that had kept him buried beneath the covers for the past month -- to actually have stood up out of the weight that had been dragging him down. He had motivation to do things again.

The problem was, he didn't know what to do. Some things didn't even feel right to be doing. In the back of his mind, he kept wondering if the surgery victims were back to normal too; that was a niggling enough thing to be worrying about without him being antsy all the time.

He stared blankly at the uncut fabric, unsure of what to make of it. A shirt was too much measurement and precision than he felt he could deal with at the moment (though he did make note of the possibility for a later pastime and reminded himself to look around the workshop for a sewing machine). And heaven knows he had enough pocket squares lying around (at home, anyways, but they were probably destroyed with the rest of the world now).

Well, he needed to do something with this cloth. So, England reached for the ruler and pencil he had previously put aside, and set to measuring and cutting out a perfect square.

Floor 13;;
He sat somewhere just off the left of the center in the rows of pews, trying to hide himself somewhere inconsequential amongst the invisible masses where none could place him as out of the ordinary. He was alone, of course, but that didn't stop him from feeling like he was being watched-- judged, even.

England could count on one hand how many damns he truly gave about what strangers thought of him. Still, he preferred not to be distracted by scorn while he was trying to make himself relax.

The kingdom pulled the poppy-orange thread taut through the white fabric stretched by his embroidery hoop. His mind was still leaden with thoughts of October's experiments, evident in the way his normally deft fingers were sluggish and lazy with his stitching. Still, he devoted the majority of his attentions to his needlepoint. After a whole month of doing nothing but lie around and feel sorry for everything, he needed to be productive in some aspect.

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Taiki was walking through floor fifteen, which was about as close he could get to floor seventeen without feeling sick. He found this room interesting, though he did not know how to use most the things in it.

He noticed that someone was in the room and went to nod politely to them before he realised he knew them. "Hello mister Kirkland." He smiled brightly, he tried to think back to his last conversation with the man, he was sure that was before he had started feeling strange. He hoped he hadn't been rude to him, because he had enjoyed their conversation.

Thankfully England heard the footsteps, or he might have made a mess of his so-far immaculate cut in the fabric. He didn't anticipate that it would be someone he knew, but at least the voice wasn't cause for alarm.

He turned in his seat, away from his almost-square, to look over at Taiki. The boy was given a weary-looking (but no less genuine) smile for his greeting. "Taiki. Good day," England said politely, removing his hands from both fabric and scissors for the sake of courtesy. "Have you been well? You were not part of those dreadful experiments, I hope."

It was probably a bit of a stretch to hope that, but England's cynicism hadn't totally overtaken his weathered heart yet.

"Good day." He smiled back and then his smile faded and he bowed his head. "I was." For a moment he looked like he was about to cry, he was still realing from what he had done, even though Kirin could not commit violence he had told Gohran to hurt people...

And he had took his roomate with him to his death. "How have you been mister Kirkland... did they experiment on you as well?"

The former empire's expression immediately turned to concern, and he turned in his chair entirely to give Taiki his full attention. "I was part of it, yes," he affirmed, "Though it mostly entailed a bunch of self-pitying rubbish and utter refusal to get out of bed in the morning. I'm alright." The random urge to start killing aside, it honestly was not too far from how he'd felt some times in the past, not that it was any less preposterous. The worst part of it (aside from all the wasted time, of course) had probably been his reward.

His experiences, however, were not what he was worried about. He fixed Taiki with a politely curious look. "Would you like to talk about it?" He didn't know what being in any of the other experimental groups meant (aside from the "special" group -- that one was fairly obvious), but this whole awful occurrence was more dangerous to someone with a young mentality, no matter how they were messed with.

Taiki blinked, it seemed it had affected at least half the people he knew, not that he knew that many people... But he nodded slowly, "They....they made me not trust anybody..." He forced himself to breath calmly, it was all over now.

"They tried... they tried to make me kill..." He shook his head, "But... Kirin can't... can't be violent unless their king orders it... so we... we flew off the roof." He was trembling a little and pulled the oversized cloak he was wearing, his 'reward' for all of that, around him. "Sorry." He murmered.

England devoted all of his focus to Taiki as the boy told his story, his sewing project abandoned for the time being. "You needn't apologize," the nation assured gently. Though the roof detail was alarming, he recalled the post he had made on the network; people resurrected here following their deaths. Though there were concerning moral issues regarding that, he was glad that Taiki's life hadn't actually been cut short.

"Take your time," England went on. "It's alright to be upset." He was certainly no stranger to death, and he'd killed men in his lifetime. Numbness was the only thing that made it easier.

Taiki nodded. He felt bad about telling mister Kirkland all of this, for surely the man had his own problems. But Taiki didn't know many people, and those he did know were either mad at him or he was scared of them. He couldn't find Keiki anywhere, which just made him more sad.

Tears filled his eyes as he thought about the next bit, he hadn't told any one, only his roomate knew and maybe he shouldn't... maybe this man would turn away from him if he knew what he had done.

"I..." He whisepered, "I told Gohran to kill them..." Though Gohran had protected him before Taiki had never ever told him to harm anyone before, he knew Gohran had killed one of the experiments and that made Taiki a murderor.

England frowned at the expression on Taiki's face. Slowly, he stood from his chair, taking the square of fabric he had cut from the table and kneeling on one knee in front of the boy. He held the undecorated cloth out to the kirin for him to wipe his face with.

"It's alright," assured the nation. "I know how it feels, but killing someone does not make you a horrible person. Especially if you're not in your right mind, which you were not at the time." Death was a gray area as it was, and adding in causes and fault made it even foggier.

Taiki took the cloth and held it but made no move to wipe his face with it, after all the man had been making something with it, so he shouldn't get it wet with tears. At mister Kirkland's words Taiki's eyes hardened and he shook his head.

"You're wrong." He whispered and then lowered his eyes at how rude he had been, "I'm sorry... I did not mean to be rude... but violence is always wrong..." He clutched his cloak tightly around him.

"Sometimes...sorry... sometimes it is necessary I supose but it doesn't make it right and it doesn't make those who comit not in the wrong."

"Killing someone is always wrong, spilling blood..." He shuddered. "I should not have done it... I should have been stronger... I... Kirin aren't suposed to hurt people... they can't... sorry... it's just wrong."

Even though he hadn't raised his hand in violence himself he should have been more responsible, should have made sure Gohran couldn't hurt anyone... he really wasn't a very good Kirin at all...

England listened patiently to Taiki's appeal. He wasn't offended. Why should he be? He'd been thrown much more harsh arguments in his lifetime, and by his own people, nonetheless. Everyone was welcome to their views. It was admirable that Taiki could still give respect to his own in a place of such wavering faith.

"I didn't say it was right," he noted calmly. "Certainly, it was in the wrong. All I said was that it does not make you a horrible person." He wasn't much fond of murder, himself, but it was something he just had to learn to live with. Taiki was blessed to not have ever had to bear such a burden. "One misdeed does not change your views or who you are."

He was sure to keep eye contact with Taiki and keep his words gentle. "For what it's worth, Taiki, I do not think any less of you for one mistake. And you should not think less of yourself for it, either. Everyone makes mistakes."

Taiki listened, keeping his tears in check. He couldn't even really agree that it did not make him a horrible person, because he was a Kirin and Kirin were not to kill ever. But he did understand what the man was trying to say and because he had spent most his life on earth he knew he was trying to help.

Still he nodded and brushed his tears away, "Thank you..." For listening to him, there wasn't many people he could talk to here apart from Sanshi.

"When... when I found my king I was an adult but sometimes I feel like I don't know anything at all, that I am a really bad Kirin... I think Keiki or Enki would have been able to control themselves... even through that..."

"You don't have to thank me, lad," said the nation softly, the corner of his lips quirking in a very small, brief smile. He really needed to work on not being such a sentimental old man -- he used to be the terror of the world. When did he become so softhearted?

He gave an intent ear as Taiki went on. Did Taiki just say that he was an adult? He looked so young...and he seemed to be acting the part, too.

Well, England certainly wasn't going to question the aging process of another world, especially not now. It's terribly rude to ask about someone's age, after a certain point. "It won't do to compare yourself to anyone else, you know," England started, though his tone was kind. There was a bit of a bitter taste in the advice, though. He didn't exactly practice what he was preaching. "You're Taiki, not either of those two people you said, or anyone else. Just do the best that you are able to do."

Taiki gave a nervous smile in return. He worried that mister Kirkland would find him rude for being so emotional, when they didn't know each other very well.

He blinked though and nodded slowly, he was Taiki and not Enki or Keiki even though he looked up to them, because they were older than he was and they taught him things, things that really should come instinctively to him but didn't.

"I'll try not to... I just... wish they were here Keiki was here but he's gone..." Tears filled his eyes again as he whispered, "I miss my king..."

England's expression was one of sympathy as Taiki began to tear up again. If there was one thing that England understood well, it was loneliness. There had never really been a lot of love for him back home (that didn't come from creatures that most people thought were fake, anyways).

"It's hard to lose someone," conceded England quietly. "But somewhere out there, I'm sure your friend is missing you, as well."

His chest tightened a little at that -- no one he'd ever lost had missed him. But this wasn't about him. It was about Taiki. "You'll see him again someday, I'm certain. However, all you can do until then is be strong -- and be yourself -- to the best of your ability."

Taiki nodded, he didn't like to think of Gyousou missing him and part of him wondered if he really did. But Taiki was sure he would be looking for him, the kingdom needed both the king and the Kirin after all.

"I will try," he whispered and managed a tiny smile. The problem of course was he had just been discovering who his self was, and so much of that was tied up with Gyousou that it was difficult to work out how to be himself here.

"Sorry... you must miss people too," he felt bad for his selfishness, everyone would be missing people and sad that they were gone from their worlds.

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a totter'd weed of small worth held

Floor 15

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