towerofanimus | In which the entire tower collectively goes OH SHIT

[WOAH HEY NOW. He does not expect her to be able to do much, really! Which is a terrible mistake. He is clinging so hard to these minds that when she makes them suggestible, he almost falls into a couple. It isn't until he stops being able to separate himself from the claws cutting another monster apart and his own digging much too hard into his forehead that he realizes this and... backs the hell out until she's done. He keeps peripheral control over them, keeps them set on their paths, but slams back into his own body with a sudden, shaky breath, sitting up and looking over at her]

[The problem is... that he should be able to control... all of them. Or at least enough of them that he could kill the rest without too much trouble. He is used to taking great herds of beasts about with him, but just these eight are taking all his concentration. It's... weird to say the least, but he won't ask her to try to do... whatever she's doing to all of them. There really are quite a lot of them, and he doesn't like the tightness in her voice]

Are you sure you're okay to do this...?

[She's cool, she's fine, black magic is just still really addictive to her and she wants to reach her telepathic fingers back into their minds and scramble them around until they do exactly what she wants with no private will of their own left.

Thankfully, Willow has a lot of practice at this point resisting those urges. She reins in the energy pushing inside of her to be let out, tamps it down, refuses it. Her breathing starts to slow. While he's coming back to herself, she's busy doing more or less the same thing.]

... I'm fine, [she says finally, as if there hadn't been a long pause there.] Just using a lot of magic today. But that worked, right?

[She knew it'd worked, and while the ends didn't completely justify the means to her anymore, sometimes they still did. Saving lives was one of those times.]

[Nods but... he's watching her closely now. Or... well as closely as he can anyway. She's made it easier, sure, but maintaining the connection is still far more of a struggle then he's used to]

But... using too much magic is, bad right? That's what you told me... [Concerned!!!]

[She exhales, almost a faint sigh.] Yeah, it's bad, [she admits.] But right now we have more important things to worry about. I want to help.

[Even if she does start looking a tad vulnerable as she says that.]

[Looks... a moment longer, and then gestures at the ground next to him. Come here and sit, Willow. He really is not a fan of that look]

In a uh... long term struggle, like this, it's important to know when you need to uh, sit down. And collect your thoughts. You will not, be able to help if you're hurting yourself.

I'm collecting! [she protests, but comes and sits beside him even as she says it. Willow folds her legs under her and curls her legs off to the side, bracing herself with a hand. She's still nervous about this, but she's defensive, too. She can't help but take it personally when it's implied that she can't handle herself, even if she can't.]

I've been collecting, I promise. If you see my eyes go black, then you should worry. [He has a point, though: she usually doesn't fight in battles this long. She's been in a lot of fights, it's true, but most of the time they're over with fast. This prolonged magic-using is a serious adjustment.]

[Smiles faintly at her, kind of knowingly. He has seen enough kids go rushing head first into a real battle and exhaust themselves early. He knows what it looks like. Too bad lskdf the smile gets interrupted before too long by another flinch. Right right. He still needs to be paying attention to his guys too. Can't have them getting hurt again. Echo pain is still pain, and he doesn't want to lose anymore, especially since he suspects Willow will insist on doing her thing again if he has to take another]

[Settles his head into his hands again, though he's still got half an eye on her]

I think uhm... I would prefer, not having to. See that. Is there any way, you can fend it off, here? Something, quick I mean.

I don't need to fend it off. [She can't help but be mildly aggravated at the insinuation, too. All this black magic makes her irritable and prideful.] Trust me, if I needed to fend it off, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

I'm being extra cautious, I promise! I'm way more scared of me losing control than you ever could be. [It's a bold statement to make, but Willow really is terrified of it, and is doing her best at treading the line.] Besides, you don't look like you're doing so hot, either. I see all that wincing.

[Did she just flip from indignant to worried about him without missing a beat? Yup. She sure did.]

[...wow, that's really impressive Willow. He's kind of surprised. What's more impressive though is that you actually managed to get under his skin and push a button of his. Meets her eyes and says, quite calmly: ]

I am not scared. I am only, hoping that I do not have to put you down, so soon after meeting you. [He has done some pretty heartless things to good, good soldiers of his because he knows it is better to end them quickly then let them hurt people in the fight to get them under control again. Really brosis, he will not hesitate to do the same in this case. Don't doubt his conviction here, nor assume you know what he's thinking] Please, continue to be careful. As you've said you've struggled, with this before, and it is better to get, help now. Rather then after it is too late.

[And then, like nothing, he is smiling again, letting his eyes drift back to the ground and back into the minds of these monsters. Little head shake]

Also I'm fine. Wasn't, watching my uh... flank. Got a little cut up. [Mild shrug. AHAHA let the battle for the biggest tone switch begin]

[She has a lot of feelings, okay? She's good at tone switching and getting to people, when she wants to.

Not that she necessarily wants to, here, but it's all running together in her head. In true Willow fashion it all comes out at once in one big monologue.] You don't get it. You wouldn't be able to put me down-- I'm not saying this to be arrogant, you just wouldn't. You don't know what it's like when I lose control. I was about to end the world until Xander talked me down, and no one could stop me.

So yeah, I've struggled, and I'm being careful, and I'm terrified. Because this is hard, but I can't just stand by and watch people get hurt. You're fighting, too, and I dare you to say that you'd stop just because I'm worried. Which I am, and you are.

We're all just... worried and fighting. [She loses steam right at the end, and slumps back against the wall, finishing with a rather conclusive,] This sucks.

[...heh. LJSDF he shouldn't be laughing, but he can't help chuckling. Yes. This does indeed suck. He forgets, you know? That there are people who aren't used to this constant fighting thing. That everyone's first prolonged conflict is always sort of a shock. SO even if he doesn't really like the idea that he couldn't stop her if she really did lose it, he has to stay positive. For the newbie's sake if nothing else lskjdflj His voice is teasing when he speaks again]

I think, possibly our situations, are a little different. Since, the last that... uh, I checked, I couldn't destroy the world... if I lost control. [Little smile] But uh... I don't expect you to stand by. Only do what you've been doing, and maybe uh, take a break. A little more often then some. Just to be sure. Monsters is really, enough to deal with right now. [It's okay, Willow. He really does have faith that you are strong enough. There is really no doubt in his mind, actually. It's just, sometimes it's easier when you have an extra reminder now and then]

[Oh now he's laughing and teasing her. :( This is actually a really familiar situation to Willow: number one Scooby coping strategy is inappropriately timed laughter and teasing, so this makes her relax, sink back further into the wall, boneless. She keeps an eye on their perimeter to make sure nothing sneaks up on them, but overall? Yeah, this is a break she'd needed.]

Don't ruin my pointed point, [she mock-pouts at him.] It was all effective, and... pointed.

[A short pause, as once again there is tone-switching. Over to quieter, maybe a bit wry, but mostly soft and appreciative.] But, um, thank you. You're really good at this, aren't you?

[Calming her down from a magic high is no small thing.]

[lksjdf she's adorable, but... good good. He's happy to see her relax like that even if... he's not super sure what to do with the complement. Just... nods slightly after a second, smiling sort of gently. Less teasing and more... reassuring? Something like that]

I am uh... not new. To this, kind of thing. [...wait lkjsdf Gestures out towards the fighting] Uh, I mean. To that kind of, thing. Not... magic, world destroying or uh... otherwise. [Eheh... Shrugs weakly] You, learn... how to keep, each others' morale up. Before too long.

I've had to do it for years with my friends, but we can't fight anything for this long, so it was never really an issue like it is now. There's only a few of us-- we'd have to retreat and come with a new plan.

[The longer she sits and has a casual discussion like they aren't hiding from a massive group of deformed demons, the calmer Willow gets. It makes her so nostalgic for the rest of her group: they were extremely insular and unconditional with each other that it feels like she's missing part of herself not to have Buffy, Xander, and even Giles right along with her. It was part of the reason she'd been so desperate to bring Buffy back to life, those couple years back.]

[Nods slightly, taking a second to lksjdf remember what she said. A sweep is two years. Right]

Everything, has to be done. So much quicker, in a fight... like this. You have to, pace yourself. It's uh... a hard skill to, learn sometimes. [Says this like it's something he's said a hundred times before. Which... he has lkasdj And truth be told, the longer he sits here the more he wants to get up and join in for real. He's not used to having to stand back to be able to control anything. But he's also... not stupid. He knows eight monsters will do more damage then his one troll self. It's frustrating but... necessary. He's glad he has her company now anyway. Takes his mind off how... kind of useless he feels over here]

[She notices the rote way he says that, and is reminded of something. It's dangerous for her to go out there into the fray, because she's so physically weak and so dependent on her powers; one misstep and she gets too close, and she's a goner. But maybe...]

It's easier when you aren't on your lonesome in something this big. Which reminds me-- I had an idea earlier.

Remember how when I healed you, I gave you some of my strength? What if I did that now? Would that help with controlling the baddies?

[lksjdf well that's not really what he's trying to say. He hardly thinks she's weak, just that she's inexperienced with this kind of thing...! Still that... definitely catches his attention, and for a moment he looks pretty damn enthusiastic. Except that... well two things actually: ]

I don't, know. If that would... help? Uh... I am not, really tired, even now. I think, possibly... something is uh. Blocking me. [Frowns] Also, if... you make yourself, tired. You won't be able to, continue, fighting will you...?

[Willow doesn't mind being called weak when it comes to physical combat, and all that pertains to it; it's just the truth, and she's always accepted it. In fact, she volunteered herself for that status. She was strong enough magically that it didn't bother her, and she made her offer to help and do what she could readily as a consequence.]

I don't have to go as far as I did the day in the forest-- I didn't need to save my energy for anything else then. But I could... give you a little boost? See if you can get past the block, or at least find where it is? [Slightly hopeful expression, scooting subtly over closer to him along the floor.]

[Oh my god, Willow. Gives her this... weird... confused but grateful look. He just can't understand how willing she is to help him oh no]

If. I mean... if you, think you can, manage without it. Then it is uh, worth a... try. [Nods faintly]

[She defines her self-worth based on what other people think of her, okay?? It means that she likes being nice to her friends, gosh!]

It's safer for me than trying to take them on on my own, if that persuades you any. It's energy put to good use. [She gives him a reassuring smile, reading his confusion, and holds out her hand for him to take.]

[Little pause... not as long as it was that first time, but still there, before he takes her hand. Smiles back just slightly]

Uh... thank you. [lksjdf the words are terribly unfamiliar to him, but... he is not sure what else is appropriate to say in this situation. Gosh, Willow, you're just so nice wow]

Any time, [she answers cheerily, holding his hand loosely and settling in more comfortably beside him against the wall.]

You ready? I'm gonna tag along and see if I can't figure out what the block is myself.

Uh. [Almost jerks his hand away because... welp someone tagging along in his head makes him KIND OF UNCOMFORTABLE??? Though this is Willow who... has been nothing if not well-intentioned and kind so far]

Do I, have to do... anything differently...? If you're there...?

No, no, [she rushes to explain,] I'll just be following you. Um, like... walking behind you?

I won't hear your thoughts or anything. I'm not that good at that to start with.

[...then this is probably going to be really confusing for you, brosis. But okay. If she can't read his thoughts, he mostly figures this can't backfire too hard]

[Nods slightly] Alright... Then I guess, if... you are ready...?

In which the entire tower collectively goes OH SHIT

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holy crap I totally lost this tag ;;;

lkjasdf tis okay <3 <3

<3<33!!!!

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