towerofanimus | And then I woke up with a better focus, my goal clear in the midst of the fog

Entry tags:

And then I woke up with a better focus, my goal clear in the midst of the fog

Characters: Elena and you!
Setting: Various! See prompts below.
Format: Either/Or
Summary: After spending a few weeks on her dead planet, Elena has finally returned to Tower. Clearly she needs to find out what has happened during her absence, as well as let those close to her know she’s returned, and start looking into a few things that were mentioned to her before her leave.
Warnings: None to speak of at this point.

[Notes slipped under recipient doors]
R,
Floor 100 at 0700h. Will be here until you arrive.
~E

S,
Just checking in; just got back. Meeting with Reno first, but then I’ll be on the 4th floor. Should be there around 11h. Come by when you’re free after this time – I’d like to get an update on the going on’s. Bring Xion if you can.
~E

X,
Just got back to the Tower after a short absence and would like to check in with you. I’m meeting with Reno first, but then I’ll be on the 4th floor around 11h. Would like a debrief from you and Shion on any recent incidents.
~E

[Prompt A – Floor 100 | Early Morning]

[Returns to the Tower always start the same way – with that uncomfortable paralysis that forced you to stare up at the ceiling above you, leaving you bored if you didn’t panic. Which Elena didn’t do, given the numerous times she’d been through the process. Once able to move, she checks on the time before writing several short notes, slipping them under the door of the recipients, then moving onwards to nearly the topmost part of the Tower.

It doesn’t take Elena long to get to the floor, though the trip was only partially paid attention to, her mind slipping back to the weeks on her dead planet. It’s what drove her to this floor. To remember what Gaia had been like before its destruction. And Elena is not left wanting when she steps onto the floor.

Walls change and shift, molding into the familiar setting of Healin Lodge. The wall of windows that overlooked the drive up to the building, properly shaded to allow just the right amount of sunlight. The couch that stretched beneath the large, framed ShinRa logo. The small coffee table with a pair of half-filled mugs. Despite herself, Elena bends over, reaching out to pick up the cup, only to watch the image flicker with her hand in the middle. Which, in turn, earned a very disappointed, if not heartbroken, expression.]

[Prompt B – Floor 4 | Mid-Morning to Early Afternoon]

[With the temperature in the Tower getting to uncomfortable levels of cold, Elena opts to not engage in too much activity that would cause her to lose body head. And seeing that coffee wasn't an option, she’s at the lounge, curled up under pile of pillows, a physics book she borrowed from the library on her way back down atop the mass in her lap. That’s what would explain the confused and perplexed look on her face as she slowly works her way through the very difficult read.]

[Prompt C – Floor 19 | Mid-Afternoon to Early Evening]

[So that physics book she got was way beyond her understanding on the subject, but Elena is determined to grasp the concept. There had been comments made to her before her little absence that had made her curious and, instead of going to the source first, she wanted to brush up her understandings first.

So she’s in the 19th floor library, a couple of books tucked under her arm: Introduction to Organic Chemistry, Introduction to Biochemistry, and Introduction to Analytical Chemistry. And she’s still searching for even more books.]

[Prompt D - Floor 77 | Late Evening - Closed to Reno]

[She had told Reno to come to the sauna floor later that evening after she took care of several other items that she needed to address. Like starting her collection of educational materials that would help her get a better grasp of the situation in the Tower. Maybe find a way to help put together the bits and pieces of information she had picked up and try to make sense of it all. And given the headache that she felt coming on near the end of the day, it was going to take some time.

Elena doesn't bother with the gender specific rooms, checking the unisex room to see if there was anybody already there before slipping into the unusually large room. Even wrapped in a towel - though really she had to question whether the towel was <i>meant</i> to be barely larger than a washcloth - she felt exposed. Vulnerable. The locker with her name on it was a nice bonus, locking up her clothes and firearm from possible theft. But that meant any potential danger would have to be fought hand-to-hand and she very much did not like the idea of having to do so half naked.

Sitting back on one of the benches along the wall, she poured water over the burning hot rocks, increasing the steam in the room, and waited. When Reno finally does show up, he might hear a soft, almost reverent tune being hummed in the room.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So all that time when you were bartending, you were just bein' nice for tips? Tch. [The sound is more amused than anything though, even as he pushes his fingers into that scar. Pain or pleasure; he could go either way.]

So tell me, El... we never did get around to all of the things we should'a said at Xion's party, did we?

I was nice to anybody who gave me a nice tip, Reno. I didn't discriminate. Even if you were a Turk.

[The last word is said with what was supposed to be disdain, but doesn't quite make it. Because they both knew how much she had been against the Turks at that time. My, how quickly opinions can change.

Its hard to tell which sensation she's feeling more of - the pain of having the meat of the scar played with or the sensitivity of the skin around it that was being tested. But its enough of a response that a hand lifts from the water, pulling curious fingers past that particular scar.]

No, I don't think we did. Random boss battles can often cut conversations short.

So, you got all my deep, dark secrets out. [Drawing close, his breath trails over her skin, quite on purpose. His hand stopped its exploration of her scars for the moment in favor of distracting her with other things.]

Tell me some of yours, huh?

You think I really have deep, dark secrets? I think I'm flattered.

[Now snuggling closer was okay. Kept his range of motion and level of accessibility limited. And with the way he was giving those scars that weren't hidden behind her towel, she wanted it that way for a while longer.]

....Ah. I guess I can start with us. Before we came here. You know I had something of a crush for the Director. Hell, I think everybody did. It didn't last long because of the rumor mill and after he nearly died at the Temple. I had pretty much written off having any sort of romantic relationship after that. It was safer. Easier. Just focus on work and the job and you can't get hurt.

[Knees come closer, rising out of the water, and she leans forward into them, eyes focused on the water in front of her.]

I didn't have any intention of having feelings for anybody until I was dead. Which, as things escalated after Meteorfall, I expected every day. So we all did our own things and the team slowly became really close. Like a family. I remember one night after we got Rufus to Healin - it had to be a week or two after we pulled him from the rubble - I couldn't sleep. You came out with two glasses of scotch and kept me company. We talked about everything until the sun came up. It made me think that maybe I ought to be open to the concept...

Open to what concept?

[It's mostly an absent minded question, intended to keep the conversation going while they relaxed in the heat and the water. His fingers start on her again, this time just a gentle massage where he could reach.

The heat and the closeness is getting to him, making him sleepy and playful.]

Us? Glass of scotch.... glass of scotch? [His eyes had been drifting closed when the realization hit, and it makes him sit up a little more.] El, if I gave ya a glass of scotch, I was probably offering a nightly fling... ya do know that used to be one of our things, right? Stress relief.

...To allowing myself to have feelings for another person. Beyond the platonic, that is.

[The touch is safer, warmer, welcomed. Her head moved to rest on her knees, looking over at him with a look of mild interest. She gives a little nod when he talks to the scotch, but lifts her head up when he sits upright. And then she's turning several shades redder.]

....N-No..I didn't know! Nobody told me anything about it! I mean...I remember hearing things when I was working at the bar about the Turks 'keeping it in house', but I didn't realize they meant that!

[Aww, that's cute. An amused huff follows his grin, but it's just shy of laughter.]

What the hell did ya think we meant? Sometimes we get blown up on missions... could die any second on any day. I almost offered the night after you were kidnapped, but you seemed pretty shaken, so I didn't. I've been with some of the girls. [Lowering his voice, he looks around before continuing.] And a coupl'a the guys. But don't tell anyone.

[Well this was a part of the Turks she'd never been briefed on. Whether it was on the fault of Tseng or Reno, she wasn't quite sure. That coloring wasn't going anywhere, arms circling around her legs, jaw dropping slightly.]

........Seriously?? I...had no idea that was code for....for anything! I just thought you were being really nice and couldn't sleep either. [Well, that sure changed her perspective of that whole scenario now. Made it...a bit less sweeter. But seeing that she wasn't brought up to speed on that little bit of the Turks, it couldn't tarnish the memory that much.] And I won't tell..promise. But...geez....did you figure something was off when I didn't accept? I...didn't accept, did I? Or was my taking the drink actually accepting.....

Yeah, you did and it is, but don't take it like that. I saw your hand was shaking, so I just listened. [It's unclear which incident he's talking about, though. It might have been both...]

Sex isn't something that we put on our resumes, but... there's been a couple where it came in handy. We'd teach each other things, get comfortable, and it sure as hell was a great ice breaker. But you were special.

[Snuggling closer, he tries to comfort her; conflicted between amused and concerned.]

Maybe we should talk 'bout something else.

....Well, shit... [She has to laugh. Has to. Because if she doesn't she might actually start shaking from the deep, down embarrassment of the situation.] Its fine, I liked how things played out anyway. Though I'm sorry I didn't realize that you were looking for comfort too. I was being a little selfish...

[The mention of sex brings a deeper coloring, which she would promptly blame on the heat of the hot spring. That had been a field she'd not really engaged much in. Didn't need to. Or, more like she didn't have the time. The idea that she could have been 'training' in the special art with her teammates felt awkward. How did they even work together afterwards without those uncomfortable moments of silence?]

Special, huh? I'm honored.

[There's no malice in her voice, though there is a hint of embarrassed frustration. Because nobody had told her. And she'd made an ass of her herself to not just Reno, but possibly even to Rude and Tseng without even realizing it. Sitting up, she leans into his side, hands coming up to rest of her knees.]

....There is something I'd like to talk to you about...since we're being open and honest and divulging information about ourselves...but I'm not sure where to start or how much you already know...

[Giving her shoulder a comforting squeeze, he smiles and gently presses his lips to her ear.]

Never worry about rejecting it, babe. It's a consensual thing, never an order. Comfort isn't just 'bout sex. Talking's just as important.

[All the times he had offered and she refused... how many times was it? He'd lost count, and he knew she probably had no idea what the scotch meant, and there hadn't really been time before to tell her. It didn't really matter. The important thing is to be there when she needed it, not when he did. If it's his own desires he needed taken care of, well, the older Turks had their ways. Things like that were a two way lane, and he was happy just being her rock.]

Hmm? Start at the beginning, tell me everything. Might get confused, y'know...

[He's been relaxing again, so the suggestion made sense just in case his mind wasn't in the right mode to listen. A Reno that got context in a normal situation might not be a Reno that got it when he was in a hot bath with a cute girl.]

[Breathing a little noise of affirmation, her head gives a little nod. The embarrassment would be there for some time over this little situation. Had she known then what she knew now, would things have changed? Escalated? Not happened at all. It was curious to wonder.]

...The beginning. All right..

[Its probably the easiest place to start, especially if she told the story the way she would have written it up in a report. Facts and details only. Nothing too deep that would reopen barely healed wounds and memories. At least the warm water served to help fight off the cold - which seemed to always become more prevalent when she thought of the Crater. His arm was also a good grounding as well, keeping her in the here and now.]

About two years later after Meteorfall, there was this sickness that was popping up all across the continent. The outskirts of Midgar, Junon, Costa del Sol. Even Wutai. Its called the Geostigma. Nasty disease that we believe is from Jenova's cells infesting the Lifestream, and people exposed to the Lifestream were infected. Rufus was one of the people infected. And we looked everywhere to try and find a cure.

Word came that Jenova's head was seen in Northern Crater, so the four of us were dispatched to go and collect it. Prevent others from getting their hands on it and maybe use it to find a cure. Everything was going well until we were ambushed by a trio of men. We came to learn that they were remnants of Sephiroth who sought Jenova's head as well. To engage in a Reuinion. Tseng and I were able to successfully get the head contained and to you and Rude in the chopper but...

[Its here Elena can't help but pause, shoulders curling inward and arms pulling her thighs closer. In the back of her mind she can hear the sound of gunshots, the blades of the helicopter chopping at the air. The icy air burning at her lungs from running to get the sealed box to Rude, who stood in the doorway. She could barely see the red of Reno's hair from her angle. A noise behind her and Tseng is down, bleeding. Against Rude's protest Elena slammed the door shut and urged them to leave.

The arm pressed against his side moved to curl around his back, an unspoken need for touch and comfort and grounding.]

We had to stay behind - Tseng and I - to make sure that you two could get away. We were out-gunned and out-numbered, so we were taken hostage and relocated to the Forgotten Capital.

[And its here she'll stop for now, watching him carefully out of the corner of her eye. Because this was the easy part to review. Harmless, really. What she had to share next was...much more personal. Carefully protected. Left unsaid for all her time in the Tower.]

[Oh shit. It's going to be one of those kind of things...

Sighing, Reno settles down to listen, pressing against her side as she continued into her -confession? report?- he has no idea how to classify what she's telling him, but the details are familiar.

Somewhat. It matches up with the other tellings he had heard from the other, except it's a little more... detailed. And they had just left them there?

Reno had always suspected there were details of her story she wasn't telling him, and he has a feeling this is what that's going to be about.]

They tortured you. You don't to describe it, y'know.... I can see it every day, Elena... you don't have to go on.

[Reaching for her hand, he tries to thread his fingers through it and hold her close, a worried frown settling on his face.]

....Its...more like I need to... You can't move forward without accepting what happened, right?

[And there's no missing the irony that she was, once again, seeking comfort in a situation where perhaps she ought to be focusing on him. Them. The only saving grace was that there was no scotch. Which was a pity, she could go for a bottle.]

They wanted to know where we took Jenova's head. It was always "Where's Mother?" "Tell us where Mother is". They started off light, punching and kicking. Alone and then front of each other. When they realized that we wouldn't talk they got....creative. Loz would use his gauntlet to stun us with electricity every time he hit and punched. The scars are mostly from Kadaj. He would cut so..slowly...I could feel the skin part and tear...

[Fingers interlock with his, the warmth of his hand different than the surrounding water. She's all but clinging to his hand, body leaning forward until her chest rested against her thighs, the water-soaked towel slipping down her back to expose numerous scars in their misshaped cross-hatch pattern. Underneath the pressure of the memory and the ghost feelings of hands and fingers, of blades cutting into her skin, she wants to cry. To find some sort of grieving release, but its just out of arm's reach.]

When I woke up here the last thing I remembered was staring up at a hospital ceiling, listening to the beeping of the heart monitor, and the burning and pain from all the Restore materia. I think I remember hearing a doctor saying something about seven units just to stop the internal bleeding. A pair of nurses said how they'd had quite a scare when... [She's squeezing his hand tightly, forehead pressed against her knees.] ...why my heart stopped.

[There's a slow, shuddering, whole-body trembling sigh.]

I barely escaped with my life and then I woke up here...

[Reno doesn't say anything. Can't say anything. Her story made memories flash through his head, waking up in hospitals, with people surrounding him, being carried. It's what Turks did, but this is the first time he knows Elena has gone through the same.

It's affected her so badly, he felt at a loss what to even do. It's always seemed like a natural part of the job, but now...

Not taking no for an answer, he gently pulls her closer to him, lifting her to sit in his lap. Arms wrap around her, protecting her from everything that could get at them.]

[Its a weight lifted, telling him her story. It isn't the gruesome version with the horrible details, but it isn't the sterile report she would have issued either. Instead its an awkward, uncomfortable medium that does exactly what it needs to. It explains her lack of strength and speed, the hints at lost weight, the unusual elasticity of bone and muscle. Nothing had truly finished setting yet.

There was no protest, if there would have ever been one, when he pulls her closer. She's more than obliging, actually, pressing the full of her back against his chest, making him more of a protective blanket around her. Hands rest slightly against his lower arms that curl around her chest, resting her chin lightly against lean muscle. Her voice is quieter in the large space with just the faintest hint of raw strain.]

....Sorry, Reno. I'm sure its not what you were expecting to hear, but...I felt like you ought to know.

I'm listening, El.

[He's happy to be her blanket, lowering his head until it rests against hers. Her body felt so frail and little in his arms, something to protect with his life, if she'd let him.]

If this's what ya need, I'm listening. If y'need to cry, I'm here. Anything you want to tell me, I'll accept.

[They were partners, and how many times has she reminded him by now? How could he ask her to support him if he doesn't in this? Gently, he nuzzles into her neck, planting a soft kiss there.]

If you need to tell me everything, I want to hear it.

.....MMm.

[The sound is soft and affirmative. Understanding, though conflicted. Part of her had wanted to tell the tale to get him to understand that she was as broken as he was, in her own way. That she had a better understanding of what he had gone through because she'd had her own trials and tribulations. Ones that nearly killed her.

And maybe some part of her wanted sympathy over what had happened, ignoring the fact that they were Turks. This was their job and the risk involved was accepted and under stood by all. But the sympathy wasn't deserved, not when it had been because of her own failure that the course of events had played out the way they had.]

....Tch...Listen to me. Going on about something that can't be changed. [His face in her neck earns a little affectionate nuzzle in return, a hand lifting from her knees to press slightly against the exposed cheek. This was supposed to be their time before the word of the Tower barged in. Reminded them of where they were.] I've been told you've been rather busy while I was gone....

Huh... oh yeah, there was that carnival.

[It's mumbled and distracted. The heat and her closeness is too relaxing for a conversation like that, though, and he focuses back on what she said.]

What can't be changed, El? Told ya, if you need to talk, I'm here. You've heard me go on like an idiot long 'nough...

[Giving her one last squeeze, he pulls back a little, concern and interest on his face. And no small amount of curiosity. Anything she had to tell him was important in his book.]

Would it be love if I didn't listen? Honest question.

Shion said something about it, but didn't have a lot of details...

[She had been hoping it would be a good distraction. To talk shop and discuss the status of the Tower, the recent events, anything to get off the topic. Which was causing the internal push and pull to tell or not to tell to become rougher. More frustrating and hard to ignore.]

Its not that at all. I know you're listening. Its just... [She's conflicted. But at least she can settle on telling him a part of the story that was easier to share because it is a side effect to the part she didn't feel comfortable sharing.]

Did anybody tell you anything about a sickness called the Geostigma?

Yeah. Black rash, sometimes oozing. Last I remember it'd been everywhere.

[Now that he's not blocking it, the memories of walking through Midgar the few days after Meteor fell were far too vivid. Rufus going missing... and then they started the search. It'd been far too easy in the days after arriving in the Tower to block those memories, forgetting even things like seeing Veld and their colleagues again.

He's putting it down to trauma, but it's still disorienting at times.]

Rufus had just gotten kidnapped, we were looking for vehicles and a place to set up base for the effort. Hard with just the four of us. I remember Tseng and you watching each other carefully after one of you touched the crap off a body.

Cloud told me it'd been a big problem even later. Why?

It was. Hundreds of thousands had it, from the reports. An epidemic of epic proportions that spanned the globe.

[And it wasn't prejudice on who it affected, who it contaminated. There had been no time to ask why the four of them didn't fall ill and Rufus did. Nor did they bother to wonder how they had managed to take care of him for so long and not get infected themselves.]

...Ahh. I had forgotten about that. Thankfully we were both fine after that point.

[But they'd been terrified because they were so careful when taking care of Rufus. Had always worn gloves whenever he was having an attack.]

Understanding that Geostigma is caused by somebody contracting Jenova's cells, and understanding that the Remnants were segments of Sephiroth broken into three men, I am forced to assume that there is a risk that I may fall to the Geostigma as well.

[She's talking like she was giving a report, disconnecting the emotion from fact. Forcing herself to remain logical.]

How this plays out here, with bodies that aren't even ours, will be left for further investigation.

[Shifting, and growing intensely uncomfortable even in the water with her suddenly sounding like they were at a debriefing, Reno's body tensed against her. Whatever playfulness he had earlier is gone, and his arms around her were protective.]

...Elena. It's been months. If you were exposed, you'd have been showing by now. And believe me, I haven't seen anything on you.

....That's what I've been thinking too. Granted, we weren't able to discover why some people's stigma progressed faster than others and if there was something, we should have seen it. But its important to keep that knowledge the back of our minds, just in case.

[And, to be honest, she was paranoid. Now that she had given the events that had occurred before her arrival, she's terrified of what the Tower could cause. And it was better she at least be preemptive in case it did.

She breaths a little squeaking noise when his arms tighten, fingers massaging muscle to help bring some him some calm.]

.....Can I ask you a question?

Yeah, always.

[Forcing himself to relax isn't as easy as he thought it'd be, but he tries for her sake.

If she does have Geostigma... what does that mean for them?]

Ask, babe.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

And then I woke up with a better focus, my goal clear in the midst of the fog

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject