Endgame: Gathered on This Beach of the Tumid River

[animusmods]

Characters: open
Setting: all around the Tower from the 25th of May to the 1st of June
Format: any
Summary: A general mingle for all characters throughout the Tower.
Warnings: Standard Animus warnings; please note anything specific in the subject headers of your threads

[The Tower is stagnant, the only signs of activity confined to the second block. There isn't much time left; it might be a good idea to rest and do whatever strikes your fancy before the timer hits zero.]

Comments

[neverbeamemory]

Such as?

[Sephiroth's head remains inclined towards the floor despite the fact he can feel Nesir's face boring into his head. What exactly had he stood to learn, in the first place, about life that he's spent a recent lifetime distancing himself from.

In that, he hasn't changed. Sephiroth still retains a large over-bearing shadow of his former existence and why should he change? He has his Destiny still to fulfill and not even a horror tower would divert him from that path.]

[culbutiri]

I do no be knowing. But surely even gods do be growing and learning, or what do even be being the point.

[neverbeamemory]

I have learned-

[He started, but slipped into a silence again. He couldn't resist then to raise his gaze again to Nesir, searching her as if he might be able to glean what it was she expected him to say. It all didn't mean anything, in the end. The inevitability of this place would come about one way or another regardless.]

-that sometimes even Gods find themselves in a position where they can't really affect anything. I hate it.

[culbutiri]

[Nesir pulled a face but she nodded] Most people do be hating it I do be thinking. That's why they do be doing stupid things.

[neverbeamemory]

[Stupid things. He tries his hardest not to pull a similar type of face back at her. Is his resolve that raw still that he reads everything a person tells him as an attack on him and/or his doings in the Tower?

He tries to force those thoughts towards Pandora. From the first Glamour drop to the way they have pretty much put Aria and her resistance into a position in which they can all wage war against the Administration - he's more convinced than ever of their stupidity.]

They may have already destroyed the only real chance of this ending well, in their blindness.

[culbutiri]

Perhaps. [She shrugged] But maybe you did be doing the same, in your blindness.

[neverbeamemory]

[He wants to shrug it off, to dismiss Nesir as not knowing what she's talking about but in the larger scheme of things she's right. Sephiroth only knows what he had researched and theorized within himself and formulated his plot through that; he hadn't planned for the outcome, of still being contained within the Tower.

The feel of his influence coursing around the Tower had certainly felt tangible enough. Sephiroth trusted what his soul held felt in that time, and hadn't cared what state he felt in behind in. In fact, it might not have worked all as well as it did if he'd had second thoughts.]

It's true that I had no real thought for what I left behind. But I was not blind in the attempt.

[His tone reflects his stern certainty. Right or wrong, Sephiroth knows what he experienced.]

[culbutiri]

There must have been a blindness or you would have been succeeding. [She held up a hand to show she meant no disrespect- or at least no more than usual]

No one can ever be knowing everything, but you do be still having to be trying anyways. That's what I did be trying to say before.

[neverbeamemory]

[There is very little Nesir can do to stop Sephiroth from feeling that particular jolt of acid to the back of his throat whenever his failing is brought up. Never mind that he's spent an enormous amount of time going over and over it again subconsciously. He narrows his expression accordingly but manages not to scowl further than that.]

You're right. I hadn't understood Zo, most of all.

Didn't stop me from trying, and for as temporary as it was- I did succeed.

[culbutiri]

You did be. [She nodded] And others might be succeeding, if only for a moment, it do be being better than nothing.

[neverbeamemory]

[Still he tries to keep that scowl away. Oh how he hates being lumped together with everyone else. Did they still not get that he was so much more different in substance than everyone else.

Despite the glaring similarities, still stubbornly holding on to differences.]

That depends on the definition of success.

[culbutiri]

Exactly. [She smirked at him] Everything do be depending on what definition you do be using. [Good, evil, right, wrong, failure, success, hope. They all meant different things to different people. And to people in such a uselessly helpless situation as there's the definition of success was very broad indeed.]

[neverbeamemory]

[Sephiroth wasn't smirking, not by a long way. He's inspecting Nesir's face in a similar way that he did when they first met. As if he's seeing a side of her he's not seen before.]

So what is your definition of success? Defeating the administration? Going home?

[culbutiri]

[There is a silence before she speaks, if he was anyone else she would probably just scoff and refuse to answer, or turn the question on them. But it's a serious question from someone who, despite everything, she still respects. So she speaks] To be showing them that we do be being more than their playthings. That despite all their power they do no be controlling us. [And if that meant going down in a blaze of anger and defiance then so be it.]

[neverbeamemory]

[Such defiance. In the face of all of the circumstances, Nesir still stood up tall and clung on to that which she valued. Control, over herself, would be hers to the last.

There is a long pause with Sephiroth just looking at Nesir, it's clear that it's not an angry pause though. In fact, quite the opposite. He is proud that Nesir has such constitution, despite the fact that she is only a human, and the scowl that threatens to take over his face is completely and totally all at himself. Not her.

He should be much stronger than this. Than Nesir. Than all of them. Sephiroth's hold around all of himself that is left should be second to none. Regardless of how an admin may have ripped it apart...

Lips twitch in what could have been a reply- but no words come out.]

[culbutiri]

[Nesir met his gaze but the intensity of it made her look away first, look around once more at the roofs of her childhood and then back to him. He was still looking at her and she smiled softly realising that he wasn't angry. At least not at her] I might be being just a tool and a weapon but I do be having my own will I do no be being a puppet.

[Maybe it was because he was a god that he found it so difficult.] When you do be being the only person who do be believing you do be having worth then you do be having to be believing it all the harder.

[neverbeamemory]

[Although he knew the illusion of Jenova behind him wasn't real, Sephiroth felt a distinct pull towards it nonetheless. Almost as if it were watching him still. Judging him. Blaming him. He hadn't been strong enough to fulfill the Destiny laid out for him.

A sour ball of guilt coiled around fiercely behind those flaring eyes and Sephiroth had to look away then. Away from Nesir and to the floor between them once more. He wanted to turn around, to stare his Mother in the face and prove that he was still forever the being she made of him - but he knew it wasn't true. All Jenova cells had died when the Planet had died. It was only the illusion, and the power that he still held in the depths of his core.

He took a steadying breath, before even attempting to calmly reply to Nesir.]

I did not need to believe it before. It simply had to be.

[Still, trying to put words to something he has never had to explain before is difficult.]

[culbutiri]

[She nodded slowly, understanding] Maybe that do be being why you do be finding it difficult now. [Her tone is gentle.]

[neverbeamemory]

No. [Sephiroth shakes his head firmly at that spot on the floor he's scowling at.] I-

I had no doubt before. There is no need for faith when all the facts, and the power that comes with them, stack in your favor.

[There is quick look up to Nesir, something of an epiphany prickling just beneath his attention. He still doesn't sound convinced as he carefully, slowly draws out the words to fit his pondering.]

All there is here, is ignorance.

[culbutiri]

[It was something Nesir had never known, everything stacking in her favour. For most of her life, at least since she had left Gauig it had felt like most the world was against her.

Perhaps it was just her age but she felt a little envious that Sephiroth had ever been able to be so sure of himself, of his power, of his worth.

But he had lost it now, perhaps it was better to have to fight for it hard right from the beginning.]

Ignorance do be being very prevalent here. [She keeps words to a minimum to draw out his thoughts.]

[neverbeamemory]

[He has worked, tirelessly in this life and the one before it, to put himself in such a position where confidence was just as natural as breathing. Even though he had let go of much of his previous life, it didn't matter to Sephiroth, he remained so sure of himself-

Until the Tower took that and started chipping away at it. And then there was the shattering of his soul-]

Hm. [He agrees but thick eyelashes offer Nesir no further purchase into his gaze as he still glares into the floor. Whatever happens here, however it ends up now, Sephiroth will have to carry the knowledge that he was broken apart.

Along with it, he seems to have lost a grip on what it was that gave him such certainty. Talk about being brought down a few pegs. As the seconds tick by though, it's becoming more obvious that his thoughts are starting to frustrate him and eventually he shakes his head as if he might be able to make himself unthink them.

No. He needs to keep it together. Can't let them have their victory.]

But I still have to be. I owe it to her. No. I owe it to myself.

[culbutiri]

Exactly, the only person you do be owing it to in the end do be being yourself. [She gives him a wry smile] Be remembering that.

[neverbeamemory]

How could I ever have forgotten; it's the Destiny that was handed to me, not instructed in how to take it.

[He mummers, but a little more solid in his tone than it had been a few moments prior. Eventually he nods something of a resolution and gradually raises his head to look at Nesir again.]

You're right-

[And she is only a juvenile human. Who'd have ever thought?]

[culbutiri]

Of course I do be being [She grins, smugly. She's pretty sure this will be the only time she ever hears those words from Sephiroth's mouth.]

[neverbeamemory]

[He certainly doesn't speak those words often, at all. Even if someone elses correctness were worth an acknowledgment, he'd usually only silently take it on board and then carry on passed the fact.

The smug grin isn't taken very well though and Sephiroth narrows his eyes again at it. There. There is the arrogance, a hint of the quick temper that defines him.]

I guess you to deserve to be right this once.

[There is even the most fleeting flash of a small grin, in return to her.]