towerofanimus | Track 02 - Here Comes the Sun [OPEN]

[ ... Pausing. O... h... well, THAT makes sense. For their part, Link is silent the entire time Yosuke speaks, grateful for the insight. ]

It--wants me to accept it...? But... but I could never, it knew that--

[ ahsdfldkjfhg--cutting themselves off now!!! Wow let's not go there. ]

... It... it knew how to anger me. I almost killed him when he kept speaking, and we got into a fight...

[ Link hadn't been expecting this, but obviously, "he" is not dead, so clearly this Shadow was either something they could match themselves or... different. ]

To... better describe it, he... he seemed to want me to harm him. ... He's so violent and strange, and he's... well, he is quite clearly not me; if you run across him, he looks very different: his hair is ashen, his skin sickly, and eyes glowing of an evil red hue... he is also garbed in black. I fought what I believe was this duplicate in a Temple recently, but it never spoke at the time. It was just something I had to fight in my path that I bested in order to advance...

[ ... Yeah okay, too much speaking in general for the awkward Hylian, here. Let's be quiet for a bit! How about... until Yosuke's done speaking and they HAVE to talk? ;; ]

[There it is, that denial. And quite frankly, Yosuke is amazed that Link's denied his shadow, fought it, and lived to tell the tale. If it weren't for the intervention of Souji and the team, any one of them could have easily fallen to their shadows and their freakish transformations. Maybe there's a chance Link's works differently? It certainly seems that the circumstances between them are different, so he's quick to point that out]

It doesn't sound exactly like the shadows I faced, so who knows. Maybe it wants something other than acceptance. I can't be sure.

But I can promise you... the ones I saw just wanted to be accepted. To be acknowledged and owned. It was true of mine. And I hated, hated owning that part of me. But in the end, it made me stronger. I wouldn't be where I am today without it. Hell, I'd probably be dead.

[ ... They'd die before they accepted it, truthfully. At least, at this point--maybe in the future, but until then...

As it is, Link just sighs when Yosuke is done speaking, thinking about this.

...

Yeeeeeaaaah, no. Not ever owning up to that. ]

... I will say that I am well aware that my darker duplicate was created from dark magic by the evil king, Ganondorf, but as for what else may be involved, I'm not entirely certain.

[ Pausing. ]

He... [ ... It? Not sure what to call it, here. ] said I was a fake. ... Truthfully, from our... ah, "conversation", I am certain he may be an iteration of myself from a different timeline. I would not be surprised by this, but he did still understand me too well.

[ It's... unsettling. Of course, Link won't say the rest of what he said, because... well, doing that would mean revealing even the barest hints of the truth. ]

[He's not sure why, but something about the way Link talks just smacks of denial. Almost in a way Naoto would do it (probably anyway, not that he hangs around Naoto enough to know) - where there'd be denial without ever directly denying anything, just a lot of big words and dancing around the subject in such a way as to deflect it completely]

[Yep. Very Naoto. But what to do? The truth of the matter is despite their best efforts to get people to avoid violence with their shadows, they never once succeeded in averting disaster. Why? What did they do wrong? The directions were clear - 'accept it.' 'Acknowledge it's a part of you.' But when it came to it, even he couldn't do that right away. He had known that copy of him was saying nothing but truths, but couldn't admit it. Neither could the others. Why?]

[He's quiet - probably for too long as he ponders this. Would it have been any different if they shouted 'Hey it turns into a monster and eats you so accept it!'? Probably not. The way he felt when his shadow was talking - death might have been preferable to accepting it, to revealing it was his soul laid bare. That feeling, feeling so alone in his moment, like no one else had secrets like this to be ashamed of... if he had known - if any of them had known, would it have been different?]

[Suddenly what he has to say is absolutely clear, but the thought of it makes him sick to his stomach. He shuts his eyes tightly, fighting off the dizzy feeling he's sure is just his body trying to give him an excuse to leave]

I can't believe I'm actually going to... [He swallows hard]

Link, I need you to swear to me. Nothing I say goes beyond you and me. Please tell me I can trust you like I think I can.

[ ... That was certainly not what had been expected, but as it is, they'll take it nonetheless.

There's a pause, because Link is not hesitant to say yes. It is more, on their part, concern that Yosuke may ask about their... true... secrets back.

It was true that Dark Link did not say hardly as much as some of the Shadows Yosuke knew might, but it was plenty enough. Calling them what they did made this all the harder for Link.

... Goddesses above, they'd only just gone through how difficult it was to be truthful with Zelda, of all people. Yosuke, someone Link certainly liked and had started trusting more of late, was not as easy. No one would be easy, honestly, with how concerned over the secret Link was.

But never would the hero let someone who asked something of them down if it could be helped. Truthfully, nearly everyone Link had spoken to had placed their problems in the hero's hands, be it predetermined destiny or not, so without even a second thought, they'd done the thing they expected to fix it. So what else would Link do but say yes and actually take what Yosuke wanted to say to their grave and beyond?

Nothing, that is what. With the slightest, but most grave of nods, Link faces Yosuke, deadly serious. ... For some reason, this is very important, perhaps too much for words, at first.

It's--only after a short pause that Link speaks, tone serious and quiet. ]

... For what it may be worth, I will not think of you any differently. ... I'll take it to my grave.

[ These are the eyes of one of the most serious people around. ... Link wasn't the chosen hero for just any reason, after all. ]

[He takes a few deep breaths. For all he's done to dealt with from that fateful day - all that time he spent with Souji, all he's worked for, all he's done to overcome his issues - he's never spent a great deal of time dwelling on the specifics of that first incident. He's certainly never tried to take the time to re-create it in his mind, and as he does just that, it's hard to fight the emotions he can recall from that day. The overwhelming sadness. The fear. That sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, and a denial stronger than anything he'd felt before or has felt since...]

[Swallowing hard to keep them down, he forces himself onward with a nod]

I know I mentioned this before, but I really sort of glossed over it. And that's not doing you any favors if you have to deal with it now.

I told you, my- well... everything I guess started for me when a girl I liked died. So I told myself I was doing everything for her. I told my best friend that, too. He agreed to help, so we went to look for answers. There was this other world connected to ours, and that's where the shadows live. So we went in there, and we found this place. This place so intimately connected to her. That's what that world did - whatever you kept hidden in your heart, it would make you your own area based off of it.

[He takes a deep breath, trying to keep himself going now that he's started]

It was there that my shadow appeared. And it was fucking terrifying. An exact copy of me. My clothes, my hair, my face, even my voice - the only thing that really set it apart were its eyes. Those damn yellow eyes. And it knew me. It had my name. It was me. I knew that, even before it started saying everything. Every terrible thing it could think to say. How I was just a bored kid. How I didn't give a damn about her, how I just wanted a chance to play the hero. How I was willing to do anything to escape boredom - even use the death of someone I cared about.

[He's silent for a moment, as he struggles to keep his composure. He manages it well enough, but there's an obvious strain to his voice now]

It hurt, but the only thing I could keep feeling is shame. How I was such a terrible person for thinking those things, and how if I admitted to them, then they'd be true. Everybody would know, and they'd never understand. I'd be as alone as I felt. I can tell you to accept your shadow until my voice dies, but it doesn't mean shit, because even if you know it's you, you can't fight that feeling.

But for what it's worth... even if it's just from my example, we all have things we want to hide. I may not know your exact situation, but whatever it is that makes you feel so horrible and alone? We've all got our shit like that.

[He looks at Link, managing to meet his eyes for the first time since he started talking]

I guess what I'm saying is that there's people like me who've been where you are. And it's scary as hell, but in the end, we'll accept you, no matter what shadows you're fighting.

... and I really hope that made sense, because I don't think I can say it any better than I just did.

[ Listening intently, Link... cannot help but feel terrible, now. Truly terrible.

"I'm not some wrapped-up liar like you."

They were just that, in the end... weren't they? A liar. And here Yosuke was, admitting the worst of himself, the hardest things to say, and they'd never even been honest with him. Never said a damn thing.

There's an internal war going on right now for Link, because despite how much the Hylian hates themself... doesn't Yosuke, after all he's shared, deserve to know?

At the same time, it wasn't like he'd... asked. As the Hero of Time, Link wasn't supposed to be like that. Granted, they'd admitted even they had bad thoughts--sure, who didn't? Link was imperfect, too. But all the same, it was theirr job to grin and bear any pain and continue on for the good of Hyrule without a single question otherwise. Besides, putting pressure on Yosuke... telling him their own problems... it wasn't his responsibility. Despite what he's said, all of it, their afraid of being viewed differently.

Heroes can't be anything but perfect, and men are perfect in a medieval world.

Heroes can't be scared or unsure or liars. They must always tell the truth, must continue on, must never be weak. They are pillars of hope and strength for every person.

Link remains silent for the longest time, staring anywhere but at Yosuke, nervous and... uncertain, how to proceed. Finally, they speak, but it's quiet and almost... shameful. Wary. Uncertain. ... Nervous. ]

It made perfect sense. ... Do not concern yourself with that; I understand completely, Yosuke Hanamura. More than I ought to, considering it is my duty to be pure of heart and perfect, as the chosen hero of my land.

[ ... Deep breath. It's sad, because Link cannot even LOOK at Yosuke. The hero's eyes are tightly shut, nervous... afraid of rejection despite Yosuke's assurances. ]

... But I must... know of something in return. I... I want your word. If you do truly mean that you would accept even the worst of anyone, you will not change how you view them? Even if that was something unfathomable and horrible, cowardly, disgraceful... even difficult for them to speak of, given their position and what is asked of them?

[ Perhaps Link was, at heart... just a frightened child wanting to be accepted. Considering the situation, it was hardly surprising. ]

[Yosuke lets out a small sigh, torn between the conflicting urges to smack Link and to give the guy a pat on the back. Even in revealing everything, he's almost certain Link doesn't quite get it - but there's a hint of confidence that still remains in the messy haired boy. That question Link's asking... he's on the right track]

[Yosuke's not Souji - he'll never be Souji - but just maybe he can help Link like his partner helped so many others]

Before I answer that, if you think you're supposed to actually be perfect, you're an idiot. Nobody's perfect. The greatest guy I know, who saved the world from a crazy goddess? Not even he's perfect.

[It's strange for him to admit that aloud with how highly he thinks of Souji, but it's true. They all made their fair share of mistakes, took their share of spills in battle, and on top of that, his partner's relationship with his parents doesn't seem exactly enviable. But he shakes his head, his thoughts getting off track]

We've all got our shit to handle. Now, for your question? I won't ask what it is you're keeping bottled up, but as long as you've never murdered some innocent person, I think we'll be good. [He gives a grin at that] I've seen people deal with some heavy stuff, and they're all people I'd trust with my life. Even after I saw what they're dealing with.

[ ... This is getting really off-track, but before any other thoughts go through Link's head and process, this has to be said: ]

... I would never take someone's life, even in a dire situation. That... that would be unforgivable.

[ Yeah okay, Link might... be spazzing just a bit here because that is a very important subject! But really, after saying that, there is a brief period of introspection going on, here. On the one hand, Link is unyielding and stubborn. Perhaps Yosuke was right, perhaps he wasn't.

But on the other hand, there is a lot of weight riding on the hero alone. It was just the title itself. "Hero of Time." It was three very important words.

And... Link was afraid. Perhaps, in the end, they weren't the right person for this? What if they were chosen wrongly? What if destiny had picked the weakest person and they failed? But far be it from them to ever complain, because that's not what a hero does. At this point, they're just hung up over saying how they really feel. Afraid? Wanting acceptance? Was that really strange?

... Yeah, there were probably words that were intended to be spoken here, but they can't quite seem to stop them dying in their throat every single time they try.

As it is, Link just responds with a headshake, eyes shut. It takes a long time before the Hylian even replies, mulling over the proper words to use. ]

... Trust in most people is something I've always had. But the last thing I would ever desire... would be to have them feel as though they'd misplaced their trust in me.

[ That's all. ]

[Link may not be there yet, but Yosuke can't help but feel like he's making progress. As it is, the silences are at least telling him he's getting the pointy ear'd boy to think, and that's something. When was the last time he actually managed to get someone to think? And not just think that he's a pain in the ass, but actually think? He's not sure he's ever done that before, at least in a way as meaningful as this]

[It feels nice]

[But he's not done yet and so he presses on]

Well I for one don't feel like my trust in you is misplaced. But part of that trust is trusting you not to be an idiot.

Whatever you're dealing with seems like heavy stuff, and that's fine. I'm not trying to make light of your problems or anything. But forget about shadows and all that crap for one second. Just... let me say this, as a friend to a friend, alright?

Bottling shit up only makes it worse. The longer you wait to deal with whatever's eating at you, the worse it's going to get. I know that one for a fact. So don't be an idiot and let it wreck you from the inside out.

[ ... It's funny.

Link... hadn't really meant to get into this sort of thing with Yosuke of all people. They didn't also... expect someone to be so honest. After telling the truth to Zelda, though, they'd expected this to be easier to deal with, but it really wasn't, in the end.

In fact, it still felt shameful. A blight on a perfectly good person, as it were, otherwise. Link's arms move to a crossed position, perhaps instinctive--a move of trying to feel more secure, when at this very moment, Link feels anything but.

The Hylian's gaze falls elsewhere, because really? Now it's even harder to look Yosuke in the eyes, truly. ]

[ ...Sigh. Well, it won't be that easy. Not for someone who's gotten used to bottling everything up, being entirely alone, and relying solely on their own self for support.

People asked things of Link, and the hero did them. That was how it worked. ... But no one ever asked Link to think about... well, them. Silence is comforting, but of course something has to be said... ]

... Perhaps, but that's a rather simplistic view of things.

[ A childish one. Link was a child, at one point, but you had to grow up. Even if that was... unnaturally, as it were. That's... what Link was taught by the world. How could it possibly be any other way? Wouldn't it be wrong of them to confide in another; wouldn't that be selfish and weak?

Regardless... ]

Thank you, at any rate.

[How does Souji do it?]

[One second he feels like he's really getting through to Link, and the next it feels like he's hit a stone wall. It's disheartening. Yosuke groans and lets himself fall backwards, looking up as he rests on the grass]

Don't thank me until I actually do something for you.

Maybe it is simplistic. But sometimes life is simple. It's not all crazy goddesses and saving the world and worrying about your future.

[He slips the headphones from around his neck and holds them out to his companion]

Sometimes it's laying in the grass and listening to music.

[ ... Confusion. There is a lot of it. To Link, that is normal, and there's a brief pause to contemplate why Yosuke would find it crazy.

But the headphones... not so much. How on earth is that music? ]

... What... sort of instrument are they?

[ The Ocarina-playing forest elf-type person does not understand your gesture, Yosuke. It is rather confusing, actually. ]

[And with that one statement, his frustration melts away into a chuckle. Right, Link and technology don't exactly mix]

They're not an instrument. Put 'em on, they go over your ears. They won't be an exact fit, but you can get them on there well enough I bet.

[ Not... really no, the most technologically advanced thing Link's ever seen is the Hookshot. Which considering Hyrule's technology is actually quite inventive.

As it is, though, Link sort of blinks, stares, then... takes them anyway, doing as instructed. It's kind of weird, and being Hylian with ears like this, Link can't help but wonder why humans would, you know, do this sort of thing... when you can play your own instrument. ]

...?

[ Head... tilt... ]

[There's a moment's hesitation as Yosuke pulls a small player from a pocket, trying to decide what to play for Link. Maybe not something too crazy... so he settles on this one and pushes play]

Here, try this one.

[ Whoa... what... is this even?

Link has never heard anything like it. Heck, it'd be surprising if they'd ever heard a piano, because you won't find that in a forest. Mostly wind instruments. There is so much staring going on here, because this is amazing.

Listening until it's done, Link has only one thing to say: ]

... Is this magic? Does this music... transport you anywhere?

[ Yeah. Technology? What is that? Don't you have magic songs? ]

[Link, have a blank stare, bro]

[But only for a moment before he grins and laughs]

Literally? No.

Figuratively? Absolutely. It's one of the things I absolutely love about music. I even carry those almost everywhere, so I'm never far from a good song.

[ Why... is Yosuke laughing that was a very reasonable question, okay! But... Link can somewhat understand that. ]

... I see.

[ Huh. Weird. ]

This isn't like any instrument I have ever heard played... it is lovely, though there's a different sort of magic to it than the music I know.

[ In a way, it's odd, hearing music that is not positively vibrating with magical energy, or music coming from the trees themselves, within the forest. To someone like Link, everything had a song to it if you listened. That was what magic was about. But they feel this to be a little too touchy-feely and oddly introspective, so perhaps that's better left unsaid.

Plus, Yosuke might find it odd. ]

Yeah? Well, if you're used to magic that teleports you around, I'd say you're right.

But even if it's not that kind of magic, I love music. Sometimes I wish my life had a soundtrack, and then I remember - [He points up at the headphones] - that I more or less give it one.

I've always believed music has it's own sort of magic, even if you do not notice the effects at first. You have to open to find it, though.

[ ... Though Link has no idea what soundtrack means, they can probably infer it? But there is one thing that has got to be asked: ]

But... where are the people who play it?

[ Link is kind of looking at the headphones like tiny musicians might be hiding in them. WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, TINY MUSICIANS. COME TALK TO US. ]

[Right. The whole 'technology' thing. For a moment Yosuke wishes he could just carry Naoto around in his pocket and pull her out whenever there's something complicated that needs to be explained. It'd make his life a hell of a lot easier. Alas, until someone invents the Pocket Naooto (and it's not a terrible idea), he's on his own]

[So, how to explain technology to the technologically illiterate?]

That's... a long answer, but I'll try and explain it. The musicians played the music into a machine, and the machine recorded it and made it so that people could play the music back on other tiny machines they can carry around. So the music playing through those headphones is coming from one of those tiny machines.

[ Contemplative look, here. Some serious thought is being put into your explanation, but luckily for you, Link is rather intelligent. ]

Ah. ... I see, so it's more a mechanical function and the music is written on to the machines in some way?

[ Since... recording to Link is "writing in a book" and all that. ]

[Well, that's the best he's going to be able to explain it without help]

Yeah, like that. Naoto can explain it better, if you're curious. ... actually, anything I explain that doesn't really make sense, Naoto can probably explain better.

Track 02 - Here Comes the Sun [OPEN]

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