towerofanimus | it's the end of the world as we know it

Entry tags:

it's the end of the world as we know it

Characters: William Birkin
Setting: Floor 1
Format: I'll follow you, but action would be mighty nice
Summary: Birkin just showed up and he wants to know what the fuck kinda crap happened to him this time.
Warnings: None

[Birkin always figured he'd have a hand in the apocalypse. Though he definitely thought he'd end up being the cause of it rather than just living through it, somehow or another.

...Though it was probably just another virus anyway. Annoying things. He poked his head out of his room, looking both ways down the hallway. Might as well look for someone he recognized.]

Franken you can't just leave me behind like this, you asshat! [His voice merely echoed back at him. Certainly a bit unnerving, but he'd find him eventually. The guy's labcoat ended up in his trunk or whatever anyway.] Issei?! ...Sher? ...Creepy alien kids...?

[He started walking, slight frown on his face.] Regene?! Wesker? ...Papadachi are you back by any chance?

Guys, seriously... This isn't funny anymore...

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[Little bit, but Birkin'll survive.] You guys combine the word scientist and the word terrorist? That... That's brilliant! Yes, A scienterrorist that's exactly what I am.

[Woah, calm down there, buddy. You're getting something on Sollux, now, and he's pretty sure it's not spittle]

Well, that ekthplainth pretty much everything.

I just... I'm amazed that you actually have a word that combines the two! It's like you guys were specifically thinking of someone like me when you made that word! It's... Fascinating that you actually have enough of an association that you combined the words, that's all.

[He's really looking at you funny, Birkin] Well, motht jobth are like that, really? Archeradicatorth, and cavalreaperth, and legithlatheratorth. Troll jobth are usually violent in thome way.

You guys would get on great in my world! - My uh. My actual world, not the one I live in, though the people there are pretty violent too - Violence is more often than not a requirement to get a lucrative job of some sort, no matter what side you're on.

But usually when it comes right down to it, where I'm from scientists usually aren't associated with joining fights; just starting them. It's nice that we're getting our time in the spotlight too.

[Shrugs] Doethn't really affect me. I alwayth wanted to be a technoculler, but if our world doeth go back to the way it wath, I'll probably end up a thlave, wired into a ship, like my anthethtor.

[Birkin stares at him, mouth open, brows furrowed for a long stretch of time. He shakes his head and blink rapidly until he manages to find words again.] You'll end up doing what?

[Scowling and looking away] Ith it my lithp or what? I thaid I'm going to be a thlave and a piethe of equipment when I grow up. Unlethh our world thtayth dethtroyed, which I guethh wouldn't be that bad, after all.

No, uh. That time it wasn't the lisp. Sorry...

I didn't realize slavery was legal where you all were from. And what's the piece of equipment thing about? Can you turn into an inanimate object too? Because if so, maybe when we get out of this shitty tower you can come live with me! There's a fucking army of people who can do shit like that where I'm from! [He is trying so very hard to stay positive for you Sollux.]

Not legal? [He snorts wryly] Highbloodth can cull lowbloodth for looking at them wrong, why wouldn't they enthlave uth, too? [He shakes his head and pats the computer] Unlike thith primitive technology, trollth uth living organithmth quite often ath part of their tech. I mean that thothe like me are hooked into the ship directly, with wireth in their bodieth, and their mindth control the ship.

[He frowns faintly, but is slightly touched by the offer] What do you mean about turning into an inanimate object? How could thomeone do that?

Yikes. That sounds like something out of a terrible video game. ...Hell, it sounds like something out of the terrible video game I'm from. - Don't ask, just take my word for it because until I can get on the internet, it's just not a thing I can prove.

As for the inanimate object thing... Fuck if I know how - I'm not from there, so it's pretty weird to me too - but I've. Seen 'em do it. Friend of mine can turn into a chainsaw, this one dick can turn into a scythe, this woman who lived with me was, like... A hammer or a... Stick or something? This woman I work with can turn into a knife, and I know a couple of people turn into guns and the like. Oh! And this asshole who got me kicked out of my house this one time is a guillotine.

You're from a video game, too? [Curious!] But it'th not THGRUB or THBURB, ith it?

...That'th really fucked up, you know. Trollth can't do that.

Nah, my game was called Resident Evil.

And I do know, don't you worry. The whole weapon and soul eating business will never not be really fucked up as far as I'm concerned.

Thoundth brutal. Like thomething with thombieth in it.

Thoul eating, too?

Thombieths? Yeah, my world has thombieth out the ass. I made them, actually. With a virus. [The creepy swell of pride has begun.]

Yeah, the guy making everyone go crazy also likes eating souls, and then there are good people who eat bad souls and give them back to Death. I'm probably not the best person to explain it, considering it's pretty foreign to me still.

Wait. You made the thombieth? [He's scowling more at the mocking of his lisp than anything else.] What are you, a villain? You're a mad thienterroritht, aren't you! You're like Troll Albert Wethker!

That doethn't make any kind of thenthe.

What did you just call me? [For the first time, Birkin actually looks less-than-friendly, scowling down at the troll in an odd mix of confusion, irritation, and possibly hope.]

Uh, Troll Albert Wethker. He'th the hero in a thombie game I've played.

...Wears all black? Always in sunglasses?

Mothtly black, ekthept for the thymbol, of courthe. And yeah, thunglathheth. You've heard of him?

There's uh. [Nervous laugh] No chance Troll Wesker has a Troll William Birkin following him around, is there?

[Sollux thinks for a minute. It's not like they were his favourite games or anything. In many ways, they were sort of lame]

Yeah, I think he had a thlave or thomething named that.

Slave?! [That was definitely a squeak.] I'm not a slave! Wesker wouldn't keep me as a slave! [He's shaking his head, and the pitch of his voice is just going up, up, up.] We're friends!

Um...what? [He blinks.] Well in the movie, Wethker'th a highblood and Birkin'th a lowblood, tho of courthe he'th a thlave. [Then it dawns on him] What did you thay your name wath?

I thought I was Gamzee's color... [Oh well never mind that blow to the ego right now.] And that's me. William Birkin, I mean. And I know an Albert Wesker in my world, my old one.

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