towerofanimus | You say "Goodbye"

Characters: Dave Strider and everyone ever
Setting: Wherever, everywhere, go nuts man
Format: Any; I'll follow whatever you want!
Summary: The best time to arrive somewhere is during an event. That's exactly what seems to have happened for this kid.
Warnings: Dave being an insufferable prick to everyone ever, sass, cussing, copious amounts of swag, Kim trying to get Dave killed in his intro (I'm being serious).

[Room 1-04]
Dave read the letters. He already thought the first one was utter bullshit. His world was destroyed way before this tower saved his ass. Wow, talk about late to the party. He read the second one a little more seriously. Considering that there probably isn't any way out (he's getting too used to being stuck in places, dear god), he should know how to get around.

He changed out of whatever bullshit he woke up in, putting on one of the broken record t-shirts, jeans, and converse. He made sure his shades were placed perfectly over his face before noticing the collar around his neck.

Dave tapped his finger against the collar, shook his head and headed out.

[Everywhere else ever]
In retrospect, he should have grabbed one of his shitty swords. Oh well.

"Hey." He's probably trying to get your attention. He hates to be the new guy, but Dave really needed to know what he was in for. There had to be more then to what these letters had to say. "On a scale from piece of cake to I warned you dog, how bad of an idea is it to try and get these piece of shits off our necks? We can also use a scale of one to ten if that makes it easier. I would ask where the nearest exit is, but seeing as you're here, it seems like a dumb question to ask."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

They'd impeach you than deport you. Better try and avoid that. Or you'd force yourself to resignation like the next Nixon.

I don't know, Nixon had a fucking amazing track record with foreign policy before he went bugfuck crazy over domestic election shit. Might be worth it if I can make as big a splash.

I'll read the news with bated breath. Gotta make sure you get headline news. Need to decorate my walls with something.

An entire room with my face plastered across it? You're too sweet.

I try. Dream big or don't dream at all. If I wanted to be the creepy loser who obsessively collects everything about you, I really got to do it. Even the smallest magazine article must be in my hands. Leave no trash unfound. Et cetera.

Hey, I can appreciate unnecessary dedication when I see it. Just don't run off with my fucking toothbrush, alright? I've got sensitive gums and I doubt it'd be easy to replace in this hellhole.

Only if I'm allowed to steal your hairbrush. I need to make a proper statue of you to hide in my trunk.

Fine, but only because I've got a comb hidden away that can do the same job. Just because I don't have that much hair doesn't mean I don't like to keep it neat.

I just really need the hair form it. Obviously, whenever your hair gets too long and you have to cut it, I'll be stealing whatever you cut.

Now that's definitely a compelling argument for burning your locks after a haircut if I ever heard one.

I try. Just for you. Shit, aren't I thoughtful.

You really are. I have no idea what I'm going to pull off for your birthday if this is the kind of shit I'm trying to express gratitude for.

Good thing my birthday isn't for awhile. Gives you plenty of time to think about it. [THAT WAS REALLY MEAN LEN. WHY WOULD YOU.]

Oh gee, just what I wanted. I might just have a chance at not being a complete fucking failure over it in that case.

[BECAUSE RETROACTIVE FORESHADOWING THAT ONLY MAKES SENSE IN A META WAY IS THE BEST FORM OF SORROW]

I'm sure you'll be stellar. I believe in you.

[SO. RUDE.]

With that kind of backing I really can't fail, now can I?

[YOU LOVE IT DON'T LIE]

Course not. Although I'm kind of failing the whole seeing my new setting shindig goal right now.

[SOBBING. I love and hate it.]

As far as anybody can tell the only goal is suffering and it isn't exactly fucking difficult to do. You're better off just finding something to occupy your time rather than looking to any dipshits here for achievements.

[yes perfect]

Other than the really shitty note, I haven't really figured out what's this place is about.

Other than our higher ups are a bunch of creepers.

Just hang around for a few days and you'll get the hang of it pretty quickly. There isn't exactly much to figure the fuck out right now, so that help a shitton.