❝what rushes into my heart and my skull❞

[guiltapalooza]

Characters Willow (guiltapalooza) and you! OPEN.
Setting: The second floor hall.
Format: Action tags.
Warnings: Mentions of violent death.
Summary: A few days after her death, Willow still hasn't gotten her magic back, but this time it isn't the tower's fault. (Also includes a thread for immediately after her resurrection to log with Eridan.) There will be opportunity later to violently harass her, I promise, but for now friendlies only, please?

[Her heart is in her throat, loudly enough that she'd almost think anyone nearby could hear it and know she was there. But she'd been holing up in Eridan's room for a couple days now, ever since she'd come back to life, and at some point she needed to leave. She needed food, for one thing, and for another she had to sleep in her own bed soon or she'd start going crazy.

Her magic still hadn't come back, and it terrified her. Nothing worked. No amount of meditation, prayer, or supplication, no spell she'd tried could coax it out. Magic was what Willow defined herself by, the thing that gave her any amount of self-confidence; without it, she wasn't anything. She was almost useless, just that dumb little girl in high school who'd chased after Buffy and Xander like a pathetic puppy, desperate for attention and approval. She may have committed mistake after mistake with her magic, may have done some undeniably terrible, awful things, but it gave her power. It made her someone.

Not that she regretted helping Eridan. But she'd made a lot of enemies here, and she knew they wouldn't balk at taking the chance to tear her apart while she was defenseless. She just had to hold out. It was temporary -- had to be temporary.

She peeks her head tentatively outside the door, and starts to slowly edge into the hallway. Any of her previous cheer from last week has been drained from her completely, and left behind is a wan, blank-faced girl.]


(for wwaterboy)
[The sleep paralysis is worse than she'd given it credit for. The first time she'd woken up here, she'd been freaked and scared, sure; but now, the ten minutes last forever, her mind replaying endlessly what had happened. Her breathing is uneven with grief, tears sliding from her eyes and down her cheeks even as she can't move.

The second feeling returns, she lurches out of bed, half-stumbling and half-racing out the door and down to his room. She has to see for herself, or she won't be able to believe it. There's always a first time for someone to not come back.]

Comments

[notagiraffe]

Y...you died? [Tears that had been threatening since he had woken up spilled from his eyes. He had known that Eridan was going to do something reckless and he hadn't followed, because he hadn't been able to move. But he should have done something, made Gohran go with him or something.

He clung to Willow trying to muffle his sobs.] I'm... sorry...

[guiltapalooza]

No, don't-- don't cry-- [She holds him helplessly, his distress making it well up in her again.]

I'm going to cry too if you keep doing that. It's okay, Taiki, we're okay now. Shhhh.

[notagiraffe]

[Taiki choaked back his sobs, doing his best to stop crying but it was hard, her and Eridan had died and even though they were back now they had still been hurt. Who knew what had happened to Feferi, the last time he had seen her she had been tortured in Eridan's world, was it the same Feferi? Had either been real? They felt real and seemed real and the blood was real...]

Sorry... sorry... [He pressed his face into her side trying his best not to cry.]

[guiltapalooza]

I know, it's all a big wreck, but we're going to be okay. [She weaves the fingers of a hand into his hair and cradles his head there, a lot like a mother with a child, though Willow herself is more sisterly than anything.

Willow doesn't know if she can believe that it'll turn out alright, but she knows that she wants Taiki to believe that. It's just too upsetting to watch him have to deal with everything. It's like re-kicking a kicked puppy.]

[notagiraffe]

[Taiki held Willow tighter as she cradled him, it reminded him of his mum. He missed her now, even though he hadn't since when he had first been taken to the 12 Kingdoms. He knew she wasn't his real mum, and that he had brought her more sadness and embarrassment than happiness. But he missed her, even though he knew that was selfish for he had been the reason for her tears.

He tried to hang onto what Willow was saying, they were going to be okay. Even though Taiki didn't know how. He had to believe it or he would cry forever and never stop. Willow was here, Eridan was here. Even if they had been hurt, been killed, they were back now. He nodded.] Sorry... you're right... sorry...

[guiltapalooza]

[Something about comforting him was making her feel better, making her feel like maybe she wasn't as much of a wreck as she'd thought she was. If she could help him at least this way, she wasn't completely gone yet.]

Shhhh, stop apologizing, [she soothes, letting him take as long as he needed.] You think I'm not upset? We just can't let that defeat us.

[It wasn't until she'd said that that she'd been reminded of it herself, but it was true. It'd always been true.]

[notagiraffe]

Sor... [Taiki bit back the apology, he knew that he should be trying to stay strong. After all it was Willow who had died and so he should be the one trying to make her feel better not the other way round] You're right... [He didn't let go of her, mainly because he wasn't sure if he could stand on his own.]

[guiltapalooza]

Of course I'm right. Let's just... sit and be miserable together for a while, okay? We'll feel better.

[Because she has to. Willow doesn't think she can handle another whole summer of misery, like last year.]

[notagiraffe]

Erm... okay... [Still shaking he took her hand, he felt really dizzy but he didn't want to be alone.] Maybe... maybe we could get Eridan and watch a film...

[guiltapalooza]

That's a great idea. [She tightens her arms around him briefly, as if to emphasize her agreement.] We can watch something just... just silly and goofy, and maybe I'll stop feeling like I'm about to get attacked again at any moment.

[notagiraffe]

We can... Gohran will be there so he will make sure nothing attacks us... [Even though he knew the tower could render Gohran and Sanshi helpless it was still some reassurance that they were there.]