towerofanimus | Obsession [Open]

Entry tags:

Obsession [Open]

Characters: Shion and open
Setting: Corridors and then library
Format: Starting in prose will switch
Summary: Shion is not doing very well, at all. He hasn't left his room since he returned from the experiment but when Reno disappears Shion emerges to find him, when he fails he ends up in the library
Warnings: Very broken Shion, probably mentions of his punishment.

Days had begun to merge into each other, Shion hadn't left his room. He had barley eaten and had spent most his time sleeping, trapped in nightmares and memories of Nezumi being killed over and over again. He knew he was being weak, that he should keep going. Nezumi would be furious at him, to know that he had given up like this.

But whatever he did, he had failed already. He couldn't find the point in anything when no matter how hard he tried he would never be able to erase what had happened, or even stop it if it happened again. He didn't believe Reno's insistence that it wasn't Nezumi who had been hurt. He didn't know for certain and that meant it could had been.

That was enough.

Reno was the only person who stopped him going completely mad, he had seen what happened and so Shion didn't have to talk about it, but he was there and he was a constant. Until one day he didn't come back.

Despite the fear, the rage rushing through his head still and the numbness that still made him just want to sleep until the world made sense once more he cautiously left the room.

He wandered through the corridors looking like a ghost, he hadn't thought to put his shoes on, or his coat. His usual smiles and greetings were none existant, he looked blankly at people, half recognising them.

[much later] He couldn't find Reno anywhere, had they taken him? To torture him? Was Reno now being hurt? Shion felt cold despair settle on him and without realising his feet had taken him to the research library, he looked around blankly at all the books. He had read a lot since he had come here, but it still wasn't enough... He still didn't know enough.

Images of Nezumi being stabbed flashed before his eyes, innumerable questions that Shion didn't know the answer to, Nezumi being punished for his ignorance.

He couldn't let that happen again, he looked around the library before going to a stack of books. If he learned everything there was to know, read all these books... He wouldn't allow them to use his ignorance against him. Sitting down he began to read.

He didn't stop, even as the day got late and night began to fall. Once he finished a book he picked up another, memorising everything he read. If he read it all, every thing here and in the other library. Maybe then he would be clever enough to be of use.

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It had been a few hours since he woke up in his bed like nothing had happened. For all he knew, it could have been another nightmare, but it had been too real, too much to take in. Being face to face with what they had been saying all along, the sheer reality of the destruction started kicking up his mental defenses. He couldn't focus on it or what it meant, so instead he started going through his things for a clean change of clothing.

Shion was nowhere around, and that had weighed on his conscience. Spouting off like that without even thinking of what could happen to the kid while he was gone.

Thankfully, he knew the places Shion liked to hang out in, so it just took a few minutes to check in each place until he found him in the research library. That was a relief, at least the kid was still kicking, and out of the room without Reno having to drag him out. Briefly, he leaned against a stack of books and wondered if he should interrupt him, at least until the stack fell over with multiple thumps.

Shion was lost in the book he was reading, the need to absorb every single thing on the page. No sliver of information was allowed to pass him by. The books falling made him jump and he looked up, eyes still blank but his face wary.

"Reno?" Relief sounded in his voice and he stood up, he was alright. They hadn't taken him, he didn't look hurt. "I thought you were gone..." His voice cracked a little.

Looking sheepish, he shrugged. "Oh... yeah, I was. For a bit. I went back home."

It was going to be difficult to explain all of that. He even wondered if Shion had gotten to see what was on the network. "Looks like you finally made it out on your own, though. That's good. What are ya reading?"

"Back home?" Shion's eyes flickered with confusion and worry. He had gone home? And now he was back? Shion, having not left his room until this morning, hadn't seen anything that had happened on the network at all.

He nodded, "I was looking for you..." He held up the book, Great Composers. It was an incredibly thick reference book, Shion was about half way through it.

"Yeah. Just a few days. Sorry I didn't leave a note." It was cool and casual, like he had just gone to the store. Walking over, he left the book pile behind and sat in a chair next to Shion.

When he saw the book, he could guess why the kid was reading that, but debated on whether it was a good thing or not. Sure, he was out of the room, but at the same time he was focusing back on what happened.

"Doing all right?"

Just a few days? But he had come back? Why? Had it been by choice? Despite the numbness Shion's mind was still working, and the questions rose up. He nodded slowly, though if Reno could see under the table he would probably guess by the fact Shion hadn't even put shoes on before leaving the room that he wasn't all right. Not really. The stack of books that Shion had already read and memorised was probably another clue.

"How did you go home?"

The only sound from Reno was breathing for a long, long moment, before he took in a shaky breath and started, "It's best not to ask that, Shion. Not now. I'm not ready to talk about it."

The silence was deafening, Shion stared at Reno, worry clouding his face. Looking almost like himself for a moment, worried, concerned, wanting to help. It flickered away when Reno spoke and Shion clenched his fists.

They had hurt him. Taken him away, hurt him, shown him his dead world, or his dead friends. Real or not they had hurt him. The anger rose up through the numbness again until Shion was almost trembling with it.

"Hey," that single word was spoken sharply, trying to snap Shion out of it, "how long have ya been down here? Without shoes." Yep, the turk had noticed that. Even distracted and disturbed he still noticed things like that. "You're gonna get stuck down here when the monsters come out if you're not careful."

Shion blinked, still trembling with anger but listening. How long? It wasn't night time yet, but he had been here since the morning. "A while..." He answered truthfully, he glanced at his feet. Oh, shoes... He probably should have put some on...

Shaking his head, Reno grabbed the book and closed it, setting it aside for the moment.

"You haven't eaten." It wasn't a question so much as a statement. He couldn't count the number of times he had to pester Shion into doing anything that even resembled taking care of himself.

Shion tried to keep hold of the book for a moment, but then just laid his hands on the desk when Reno closed it and put it aside. Eaten? He hadn't eaten since the last time Reno had made him... A few days ago now... He shook his head. "I'm not hungry."

Slapping a hand to his forehead, he sighed. "Shion, I don't..." know what I'm going to do with you. "C'mon, kid, you're going to eat something whether you want it or not."

Shion shook his head, "I'm not hungry," he repeated, he wanted to read. He had to learn more things, he had to keep going he had barely cleared a shelf of books and there were two libraries here of information he needed to know.

"Reading a book isn't going to get you want you need." Reno snapped, getting ready to drag Shion out kicking and screaming if he had to.

This was getting too much. He couldn't handle the trip and his roommate's behavior at the same time. Not when it was going like this. "Get up. I'm not going to leave you here to be a snack."

Shion stared at him, it had to... If he read everything he would know enough. Maybe. Perhaps there were not enough books in the tower, perhaps it would never be enough...

But still he wanted to stay, at least try. Because if he didn't, if he gave up and it happened again... Then it would be even more of his own fault, that he had the opportunity to learn and hadn't.

"No..." His voice was tiny, but he couldn't go, not yet.

Not quite understanding Shion's stubbornness, but all too aware of the risks to health and mind, Reno folded his arms for a moment. His own stomach was growling. There had been no food as far as he could find on the planet, but at least it had been only a few days. He could go without it, but Shion wasn't in any state to start this shit.

Without another word, he pulled the boy's chair away from the table, and powerlifted him out and over his shoulder. The turk wasn't in the mood for this, and meant business.

"Do it tomorrow."

"Reno..." Shion objected as his chair was pulled away from the table. He struggled a little as he was lifted but there wasn't much he could do since he probably weighed less than half of Reno.

"Let me down..." The stubbornness had left his voice though, it was back to being dull.

"Hey, you know how much you got me worried lately?" The turk was snapping now, his patience wore thin and he was still reeling from his little trip. He honestly hadn't meant to take it out on the boy, but enough was enough. "I came down here because you weren't up in the room, and be damned if I'm gonna let you just sit here all night with the rest of us worrying up there."

Other people worry about you Shion, you burden them even now. The fight left Shion and he lay limply letting Reno carry him. Reno went through a tough time, on his world, and now your making trouble for him. Repeating past mistakes back to himself and rethinking his actions was not new behavior but the voice had changed. It was the emotionless voice of the men that had been in that room.

He had to come down to get you, he should have been resting. You're a pain Shion. In his minds eye he saw the knife plunging into Nezumi again, for every crime. He still hadn't learned. He began to tremble and stared into space, not speaking.

He has far better things to worry about than you Shion.

Making an irritated noise at the back of his throat, he headed for the staircase, heading down as if he fully intended on taking him to the cafeteria. Stair after stair flashed by underneath, until he stopped- and it hadn't been far enough to be in the cafeteria.

No, this was Floor Seven. The one with the gigantic pool in it. Reno stepped off into this floor and made his way to the shallow end, standing right at the edge for a moment, before tossing Shion into it in a reverse bellyflop.

Knowing his luck, the kid probably didn't know how to swim either.

Shion didn't take anything in for most of the walk, his mind still firing images of what had happened at him. In fact he hadn't even realised that they weren't where they were supposed to be until the water hit him.

Reno was right in his assumption, Shion couldn't swim, he flailed in the water, limbs kicking out at random swallowing water. He was going to drown!

Panic welled up making him fight, splashing around uncontrollably.

Slapping a hand to his face, Reno just shook his head. It wasn't that deep, he had chosen a place where the water would be just touching Shion's chest.

"Shion. SHION. Just stand the hell up already. Shiva's tits."

Stand up? How could he stand up in water? Shion flailed a little more before kicking his leg downwards, it hit ground.

Oh... He stood up shakily and blinked. Oh...

His cheeks went red as he stood there, white hair plastered to his head. "Oh..."

Sigh. Reno leaned down, holding his hand out to help Shion up and out. Not a word spoken yet, he didn't really need to. The water was a sort of tough love, and little else he could say would add to that.

Shivering slightly, confused and wondering if he had finally stretched Reno's patience to breaking point Shion took his hand and clambered out.

No... He supposed, if he had truly pushed Reno too far Reno would have thrown him in the deep end and walked away.

Shion wondered why he hadn't, it would probably be for the best... except he would just come back... and continue being a burden...

He stood silently, embarrassed and ashamed.

"Now you have to go to bed."

Folding his arms, he tapped his foot and managed to look stern.

Shion looked down and nodded, he couldn't really argue, "I'm sorry..." His voice was still dull, it didn't sound like him at all but he was sorry. Truly, about a lot of things.

Xue had never been much into literature, let alone research. However, every now and then she would indulge herself with some fancy heroic novel, or a raunchy adventurers tale, the kind that would make maidens blush and fan themselves.

Today was one of such days. The trolless could be found wandering the aisles of the library, looking for anything that caught her interest. After turning a corner however, something did catch her eye. Or more like someone. She recognized the person from previous encounters and smiled, approaching with her usual sway.

"'Ey kiddo, 'ow's it goin' mon?"

Shion looked up from the book he had been memorising, "Xue'Kol..." He hadn't seen her in a little while and he was glad to see that she was alright. He didn't smile back though, she would notice the brightness of the boy she had met had gone, not forever but it was hidden. "I am glad you are okay."

She raised a curious brow and walked over to sit across from him, head resting on her arms as she studied him.

"Aye, I be fine mon. Joo howevah 'ave seen bettah days it seems. Someting eatin' at ya mon?"

"I'm so glad," he sounded it as well, his voice cracking as well. He hadn't even been able to leave his room the last few days, but he worried about his friends. He should have checked on them, Xue'Kol had been in that labyrinth too...

"I..." He looked down at the book, speaking about what happened... it was one thing with Reno who had seen... But he couldn't even begin to explain, his throat closed up and the numbness seemed to claw at his brain.

"Oy, take it one step atta time kay mon? It not be good ta keep tings dat be makin' joo feel dis way closed up, dey will be drivin' joo to da grave. But ya don't gotta be rushin' tings kay? Take joor time, I don't be needin' ta go anywhere soon."

She smiled reassuringly. Sure, she had also been in there, and it was something that she was still dealing with... the aftermath anyways... but all she had to do was not sleep... And the times she did sleep, she did so somewhere other than her room, if anything to not inconvenience her peers.

But right now, her friend needed her, and she'd be here for him in whatever way he wished her to be.

Shion stared at her and nodded, eyes flickering back to the book. He was glad of the company even if he couldn't think of anything to say. He was glad that she didn't push him, because even the thought of speaking about what happened...

"Did you... Find any books you like?" Normal conversation seemed weird, as if such things as their likes and dislikes, things to do in their spare time. It all was of no significance compared to what had happened to Nezumi, what might still be happening...

"Eh, not jus' yet, nope. But I be sure der gotta be sumting fun ta read 'ere. 'Ow 'bout joo? Find anyting dat joo were lookin' for?"

She asked curiously, tapping the side of her face in thought as she leaned over a bit and rested her head on her arms.

"I hope you find something soon..." There were many books after all, Shion was determined to read them all, after all he needed to learn. There was so much he didn't know and Nezumi had been killed for his ignorance... over and over again.

His hand went white as he clenched his fist. Images replaying in his head. He tried to distract himself by showing Xue'Kol the cover of the book he was reading, it was about plants.

It was... hard. Hard to see someone she had befriended going through such a rough time and having no real of helping them. All she could offer was her company and even she knew that wasn't enough sometimes.

Nonetheless, she'd do her best. Xue eyed the cover and a small smile formed on her lips. "Ah, plants. Do joo like plants mon? One of my closest friends back 'ome was a botanist and an alchemist. 'E was really adept at makin' dem potions and he came up wit sum really powahful ones as well. Joo wouldn't be guessin' dat dis towahrin' orc loved 'is plants, but dat man be lovin' 'is garden sumting fierce." she teased with a small laugh.

Shion nodded, though he wondered a little at alchemist. The topic was enough to pull him out of himself a little, since it sounded like once again Xue'Kol's world differed from his.

And Orc's that liked gardening, it sounded like something from a story that might be in one of the many books here. "I studied ecology... when I was a child..." Before he had met Nezumi that stormy night four years ago... But that wasn't a good path to go down, he tried to change the subject.

Despite the numbness he was still curious by his very nature so he looked up at her, "What kind of potions did he make?"

Edited 2012-05-23 12:08 (UTC)

"Different kinds, from 'ealin' potions, physical boostah's, invisibility, transformation, joo name it mon, 'e was pretty adept." she added with a small smile.

That's when she turned to look at him, "Ecology?" she asked curiously. "I be hearin' of dat word before, from da Ethereals. Dey be makin' dees really big done like structures dat dey be callin' eco-domes ta preserve sum life in Nethastorm."

Invisibility? Shion knew enough to not automatically claim that was impossible... But... It was something that didn't exist on his world. He tilted his head at her explanation. "I've heard of that, in places on my world where the climate is not so favorable... The other cities aren't as lucky as No. 6 after all. But... ecology is just the study of how everything in the world fits together. How it all relates to each other and how living things can survive with one another."

This was the most he had spoken since being released from his punishment, so even if she did not know it Xue'Kol was helping.

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Obsession [Open]

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