towerofanimus | Infighting Week Two

[Tara colors, faintly, at having been so obvious. But this is an issue that's been weighing heavily on her mind for a couple of days now, and so she can't help but press on.]

S-Someone will. Someone did, last time. Maybe more someones.

[Tara takes a seat on the floor next to Zelda, carefully letting her legs stretch out in front of her. The pain is only just starting to catch up with her, with her magic exhausted, but when it does Tara knows that will probably be it for the day.]

...w-wouldn't it be better to know? Y-You could plan, that way, or at least...not, n-not worry about it. This week.

At what cost?

[Unfortunately for Tara, Zelda holds honor and duty in very high regard, and condemning others to death for the sake of her own life doesn't fit in with her ideals.]

Perhaps there are others amongst us who feel no shame in forcing others to walk knowingly to their deaths, perhaps there are others who feel they have the right to dictate who lives and who dies, but I am not one of them. No matter how impermanent it is... that is simply not something I can do.

["What do you know about taking another life?" He said, and truthfully, she doesn't know. But she doesn't want to, either.]

...w-what if that person said they were okay with it?

[What if that person was afraid of being trapped in an enclosed space with people she quite liked for god-knew-how long?]

Zelda, if, i-if we lose again...I want you to vote for me.

What?

[Her eyes fly wide, shock settling coldly in her gut.]

Tara... why?

[Tara sighs. The logic is there, in her head, but it's logic born partly of neurosis and isolation. Really, she's almost still figuring out the problem herself, but what she's realized so far is more than a bit frightening.

She decides to start with the isolation.]

It's...i-it's been, um, a really long time, since I've been this close to this many people. And, um, I'm starting to remember why. There have been a couple of moments where...I, I don't even know what I was thinking, I just know I wasn't thinking like me.

I don't like it, Zelda. I r-really don't, and I don't want it, and, i-if I stay here that much longer...I'm afraid it's going to get worse.

But...

[No, no, no, this isn't what she wants at all. This is what she called Minato out on, isn't it? Supposed "mercy" killing? She could not possibly...]

There... There must be some alternative. I may not know what ails you, but surely there must be someone here who can help you!

[Tara gives a little half shrug, staring at her lap, where she's knitting and twisting her fingers without apparently being consciously aware of it.]

M-Maybe. I, I mean, there's this one man...his name is Kuja...he helps. He, um, h-he can cast, I think it was healing magic on me, a-and that helped for a bit.

But...if I'm right, it's, um, mostly stalling.

[She hopes she isn't, but considering sucking the power out of Urotsuki had been quite a wake up call.]

[Stalling, hm. Goddesses above. Zelda leans back, threading her fingers through her hair as her mind desperately tries to come up with a solution that doesn't involve ordering a friend to die.

... She's hard pressed to, without knowing exactly what is going on.]

And... stalling is not good enough, is it.

[Said quietly, with a great deal of finality to it. Why are you so set on this, Tara?]

[Another shrug, finding herself quite unable to look at the other with that note of pain in her voice. Tara almost feels guilty for bringing it up, now, if only because she brought that pain into Zelda's voice again.

Even so...honesty. Honesty is important. She'd told Willow that so many times before...]

For now? Maybe. But...it'd only make things worse, later.

[...]

There's...does, um, d-does your world have magic, Zelda?

[The long run. That... is what she's been telling everyone else, isn't it? That no matter how much pain they may face now, in the long run, everything will be okay?

Must she be cruel to be kind? Augh, the thought makes her sick. Still, she tries to focus on Tara's question.]

Yes, it does. More so than many others, I have found. There are many different types, of course-- [The natural magic of the world, the magic of music, the holy power of the Triforce, and so forth.] --but it can all be qualified as "magic" all the same.

O-Okay, good. So...less explaining. Yay. [Tara has a hard time explaining magic to those who don't have it, or have never seen it. She'd tried too many times in the past, and it had ended in mockery at best and outright abuse at worst.]

Well...w-we have it, too. I mean, I don't know if, if there are different types. You can do a l-lot of different things, but it's, it's all just m-magic.

Some people are born with the ability to use it. Cast spells, sense things...s-stuff like that.

But, um... with the right materials and, and the right knowledge, s-someone without that power can still use it, to cast spells, and some with power can, can give it, t-to someone else, someone who doesn't have it...

[Tara seems to choke on her next words, even going so far as to press a hand to her mouth...but, it's not like it's a secret. Not anymore. Kohaku might have told half the tower by now. So, after several deep breaths, she presses on:]

...or s-someone with the right ability can take it away, and use that person's magic for themselves. Just for a while...but a while is enough.

[Zelda listens quietly, simply absorbing the information she's being given. And she may be a lot of things, but she is definitely not blind to little details like the way someone chokes up when speaking of something personally difficult.

She has a feeling she understands which type applies to Tara, but she asks anyway.]

And... which category would you fall under? If I am correct in my assumption that you are a magic user.

[Why else bring it up?]

...thief.

[She's made it obvious enough already. It's...almost a relief to say the word. Almost. It's the sort of pain that comes with letting a poisoned wound bleed out.]

...s-some people...they, th-they don't deserve the power they use, or get given. They use it to hurt other people, o-or they can't control it, and that hurts them and everyone they love.

[It had certainly hurt Tara, in the past, when she'd been on the wrong end of someone suffering from such an addiction.]

Magic...it can do a lot of things, but it, y-you have to balance it. Only use it when you need it, how you need it. But...a lot of people, witches, a-and warlocks, and even normal people, they...th-they get... [Tara frowns, her lips moving silently for a moment, before venturing tentatively:] ..."addicted"? I...I think that's the closest word.

... I believe I understand.

[At least, she thinks so. She remembers Willow saying that she wanted to be careful in how she used her magic, how she didn't want to solve her problems with it any more. And if Willow and Tara are from the same world, then...

There's a pause as she thinks of how exactly to phrase her words (since it's obvious even to blind man that this is a difficult subject for Tara), a pensive frown upon her face.]

You steal other's magic so that cannot use it to harm people, but in doing so, you... have become addicted to it? And without anyone to steal from, you begin to lose control of yourself.

... Is that right?

...almost.

[That's what she'd told herself, for a while, and that had been part of it. But, she remembers what Willow had told her, in the meadow, and pieces fit together.]

I...I was, um, on my own. F-For a while. Well, not really alone, but...the, um, the one I was with, I-I thought I could trust them, but I, I found out that I couldn't. Later. Before that, though, th-they kept telling me that...th-that I was weak, that I, I didn't have enough power, that I had to be s-stronger, for them...I believed them.

I only took power from people, like that. People who d-didn't deserve it, or were addicted and n-needed it gone, or who'd hurt other people. But there aren't any people like that, here. There's just you, a-and Kuja, and Zidane and Tavros...and Urotsuki.

And I think I am addicted, because there's...there's been moments. W-Where I haven't been myself. Where that...stopped mattering, just because everything feels so empty and I feel s-so weak.

It was easier, in the tower. I, I could just go, s-somewhere else. And I still hurt someone over this.

I am sorry you were told such things.

[Is the first thing out of her mouth. And really, she is, because someone else she cares dearly for had to go through so much strife just to be considered strong enough for the task they were given. And if you ask Zelda, she'll say that strife was her fault.

But this isn't about that. This is about either choosing what she believes is right, or what she's being told is good.]

So... you want to go back [not die], because you fear you might hurt us.

[She takes a deep, steeling breath, thinking this all over.]

I have one last question. ... Do you feel like the Tower will truly be a better place for you in this state? It may very well be in the same state we left it in, and even with the extra space, there will be others to worry about there as well.

[Tara's thought over the issue of returning - grateful that she would still be able to return - and not dying, it's not permanent and it can't hurt as much as before, so it's not dying. But, for Zelda, she pauses to run over her thought processes, her admittedly shaky trains of logic again.]

Y-Yeah. I'm sure. I, I mean, n-no one's going to pay any attention to me, not with everything...like it was, o-or is. I can hide, in the library, or the woods. During the day, I mean. Not night.

Food, um, could be hard. I was m-mostly using magic for that. But there's still books, maybe even books on plants I can eat. And...I, um, I can hunt. If I have to. [It's clear that she doesn't want to, though. Tara is still a gentle spirit, at heart.]

And, and I even have a job. That, um, m-might keep me focused on...other things. If, if I can clean a pool w-without magic... [She smiles a very faint, slightly hopeful sort of smile.] ...w-well, th-that has to be something, right? It'd be a good start.

...besides. There, um, there are other people to worry about. There's Kohaku. But...I-I want to see her. I need to apologize.

[... It is obvious that this is a very hard decision to make for her. Her jaw clenches, her eyes shut tight, and she swallows thickly to subdue the growing feeling of nausea in her gut.

Tara wants this. Quite a bit, apparently. And she has a plan for when she gets there. What... can she say to that, really?

Well. One thing.]

... You know Link, correct? At the very least, the one who is also in this game? There are a few others in the Tower, and they all wear a similar style of garb - find them, and they will help you with food at the very least.

[That's the closest you're going to get to an "alright, I'll do it," Tara.]

I know Link.

[She likes Link. This particular Link had also been very good to her, in the past. If that's normal behavior, for them...well, Tara lets herself feel encouraged.]

S-So, so I will. I mean, um, it's, i-it's kind of a distinctive way to dress. I bet even I can't miss it.

[She knows. It's acknowledging that she might actually be..."leaving", come the end of the week. That's more than Tara had expected.]

Th-Thank you, Zelda. Even, um, even if it doesn't come to a vote...thank you for listening. I...

[But, no, now's not the time to admit that much. Later. Later, when she's better, when she's not dangerous. Later.]

...r-really appreciate it. I've never told that to anyone.

[Shakily, she nods.]

You are welcome, Tara. Just as I do not wish to be feared, I am honored to be trusted.

[Were she more in the mood to, she might say more, but at it is she finds herself lacking words to say.

Seeing everyone in the arena once more with be... interesting, to say the least.]

Infighting Week Two

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