When a Good Man Goes to War...

[spacehipster]

Characters: The Doctor and everyone! Even all you new blokes.
Setting: Flour Twelve
Format: Action!
Summary: The Doctor is thinking about the voices, and it's breaking his hearts. Both of them.
Warnings: ANGST seriously, guys, Linkin Park could write a song about this.

[The Doctor watched the planet explode.

And then reform.

And then explode.

Over and over. Again and again. He hated it. He absolutely hated it. He shouldn't be there. He should go somewhere else...but the voices. He didn't want to see anyone while they were still affecting him.

His face was gaunt, and rightly so, considering the things he'd be hearing, thinking, feeling. He wasn't sure how much the voices were saying and how much he was saying. He couldn't differentiate. Not anymore. His memories, thoughts, were getting the better of him. The voices didn't even bother anymore. The ghosts of his past were enough.

Maybe he was talking out loud. Maybe he wasn't. He didn't know. There were too many voices, ones from before the Tower were there too.

"Doctor, am I dying?"

Yes, you are. And even The Doctor couldn't save you. The Doctor couldn't save anyone. The Doctor was useless.

"Doctor, why did you leave?"

I'm sorry. No, you're not, Doctor. If you were sorry, you'd visit.

"Doctor, why did you let me die?"

I didn't meant to--

"Do you remember me, Doctor? I just wanted to see you. I did everything for you. And I'm dying. It's your fault."

I know.

"Silly, silly, Doctor, always thinking you can save everyone."

Shut up.

"Doctor, why don't you ever visit?"

"Doctor...did you ever love me? ...Or was I just 'another companion'?""

"You're not my Doctor."

"Doctor, please."

"I'm too old for the Doctor."

"Why did you say five minutes?"

"Doctor, don't go!"

"The Doctor l i e s.'"

"Funny. Your fairy tale 'hero' Doctor can't save anyone. But you know what? Neither can your scary Doctor. Both of you are useless.''

"You're not capable saving anyone.'''

"The last of the Time Lords."

"Murderer."

You're wrong.

"Am I, Doctor? You killed them. You murdered them, so you're a murderer by definition, right Doctor?"
 

He was just starting to...get better, to think he was fixing things.

But he wasn't.

He was as far from fixing things as possible. People were dying. Children were dying. And he couldn't save them. He couldn't save anyone.

"Do you miss me, Doctor?"

Yes, I miss you. I miss all of you. That's why your rooms are still on the TARDIS. Even if they're empty. Even if I'm alone.

"Are you ready to die, Doctor?"

No.

"But you know it's coming. You saw the date. You know what you must do. You know you must die."

That doesn't mean I have to want to do it.

"How selfish."

I am selfish.

"And dangerous."

And dangerous.

"And useless."

Completely useless.

"And alone."

All alone.

"At least you're aware of yourself."

He couldn't let himself fall apart, not here.

But even The Doctor's emotions are clearly shown on his face sometimes.]

Comments

[dreamsofderp.livejournal.com]

[John had been excited to see this floor at first; he'd always held a liking for astronomy. It took him a moment to understand what he was seeing, but his face fell with every star that burned out.

Needing a distraction from the sight, John looked to the man standing at the other side of the room. He wasn't particularly shy by nature, but talking with an adult still felt strange enough to make him hesitate.

Another star went black. John watched it go sadly, then walked up to the Doctor. He was smiling, though it was far more muted than his usual exuberance.]

Hi!

[spacehipster]

[The Doctor almost snapped.

Almost.

But it was a child, a happy child.

He smiled]

Hullo, there! Are you planet watching too then?

[dreamsofderp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, or I was.

[He looked around uneasily.]

I don't think I want to keep it up, though.

[The smile came back, as if it had never been gone.]

Anyway! My name's John, what's yours?

[There was something else you were supposed to do when meeting people for the first time, wasn't there?

Oh, right.

He held out a hand, beaming.]

[spacehipster]

Yes, it's not very pleasant.

Or accurate, for that matter. As if I'd let a planet explode.

[He shakes his hand vigorously]

John! Nice name. Good name. Johnny. John-John. Johnicus, if you're a fan of Romam nomenclature.

I am The Doctor, and it is very nice to meet you.

[lucidmutant.livejournal.com]

[There is the sound of very heavy footsteps entering the room. Fawkes is unaware that this is a new addition, given his time of arrival. He'd been a bit curious about other planets and such - especially given one of the stories the Lone Wanderer had told about being abducted by aliens. Some might dismiss it as insane ranting, but he'd had no reason to doubt his friend.]

[This, though... This was distressing. He'd walked in right before the destruction of worlds had started, and found himself staring silently as it happened.]

[Once it finished, though...]

This is a horrible place!

[spacehipster]

[Ah, another person. The Doctor put on his best smile.]

Very much so.

Not to mention how inaccurate it is. As if I'd let this happen.

[lucidmutant.livejournal.com]

[Curious. This one was not scared or intimidated by his appearance. That could be good or bad, especially given with the confidence the seemingly human man seemed to have.]

What do you mean?

typiiiing in my tagssss, this coding will not he~aall...

[lilpuzzleteer.livejournal.com]

[Luke had not been around long enough to know the depths of how...sketchy the Tower's owners were, but he had already caught on to a degree. Floor Twelve was just another notch in his assurance. He didn't even seem to notice the Doctor, too busy staring up with his little fists all in a bunch.]

...showing this doesn't make any sense at all.

I reply in feaaar, confusing what is reaaaaal...

[spacehipster]

It's to lower moral. Depress us. Break us mentally instead of physically.

Typical scare tactic.

I wish I remembered the rest of the lyrics now, gdi

[lilpuzzleteer.livejournal.com]

Huh? [Oh hey, there's a man with a snazzy bowtie. Okay, lets roll with it.]

I agree, but...by showing this they are breaking the flow of logic. [Arms crossed. I hope you're prepared for eleven year old tl;dring.] If they are aware of worlds being destroyed as they say, and are trying to save people from this, then why would they show worlds in which there is mass destruction without anyone being rescued? Even if they were to say that everyone can't be saved or somesuch, it still sets their story back significantly. And if they are claiming that there are people being saved from these places, where are they?

[Luke is very critical when it comes to shadowy villains and their nefarious plots. C'mon, a crazy guy with a giant mecha managed to hide his lies better than this.]

[quarkylass]

[ She senses that he's uneasy -- it's a skill she's had for years, even though she's never had a chance to practice it in person. Being alone for that long makes you well aware of the small things that influence people, and Jade Harley has had time to make people watching an art.

Wondering briefly if an adult would mind talking to her, she shakes it away. Instead, the Doctor may notice that a slightly scarred and bloody hand rests on his shoulder, Jade's only real way of providing comfort any more. ]

I think...the planets will be okay. I mean, it's never the end.

[ Her voice is small, and she's a little worried to meet his eyes. What if he doesn't like her? ]

[spacehipster]

[Oh. He'd been caught staring. And by a child. Children were hard to lie to.

Recover plan activated! He'll smile, turn around, and spin her around once]

'Course it isn't the end. There's no way I'd let that happen.

[quarkylass]

[ Oh--!! Jade hasn't had someone do that since she was a little girl, and so the memory is welcome. She's so distracted that his recovery plan works completely, and even earns a short, hoarse laugh out of her. ]

Are you a superhero?

[champagnedelis.livejournal.com]

[She hated this room. Hated watching planets vanish into nothing, imagining her own world doing the same. But after the blackout... her feet took her to strange places.

She notices the Doctor and frowns, taking in his appearance - as haggard as herself - before moving behind him and gently touching his shoulder, voice quiet.] Doctor?

[spacehipster]

[Oh.

Oh dear.

Someone had seen him.

He put on his best smile.]

Hullo! Rubbish show they're putting on, eh?

[champagnedelis.livejournal.com]

If it is a show. [She shrugged tiredly and examined his face.] ... How did you fare with the 'blackout'? Your bowtie is crooked. [What she meant was: You look like you've been through hell.]

[fractus-animus.livejournal.com]

[ ... Minato knows that look. He approaches, removing his headphones. ]

... Doctor-san?

[ :c You okay? ]

[spacehipster]

[he is so beyond not okay, but he smiles]

Mimato! How are you doing? Are you exploring the new additions as well?

[fractus-animus.livejournal.com]

I'm fine. They're... interesting.

[ He is quiet for a moment. Hm. ]

... Is something bothering you? I doubt it's those shadow creatures.

[ He can tell. :c He might be worried. Maybe. ]

[spiritsup.livejournal.com]

[Romeo had been exploring the new floors and had settled down to watch the stars, because they were pretty. But then he saw they were exploding and that was scary, he watched a few and then covered his eyes still watching through his fingers, in case his world was there. Not that he knew what his world would even look like from the outside! He saw the Doctor and he looked sad]

Sir? Is everything alright?

[spacehipster]

Ah, yes, I was just fondly remembering the days where custard was readily available.

[spiritsup.livejournal.com]

[Confused blinking] Custard? What's custard?

[vanavanushka.livejournal.com]

[Ivan walked back into the room, unable to really stay away from the niggling feeling that maybe the tower was right, and his world was destroyed, and that he might be able to see it here--surprised to find someone else in there as well, someone else who looked like he felt about this room. Ivan paused a moment, before coming up quietly next to him.] I would be offering Vodka to make it better, but I was running out months ago...

[spacehipster]

That's fine. I don't drink. Mostly.

[vanavanushka.livejournal.com]

Why not? [Curious smile]