[CLOSED] because nobody knows that's how i nearly fell

[chronomancer]

Characters: Eridan & Jade, and Eridan & Equius
Setting: Media room, room 1-20.
Format: Action! Occasionally tl;dr action.
Summary: Eridan freaks out to Jade about Equius, then freaks out to Equius about Equius. Basically, teenagers failing horribly at romance. And worse, troll romance. (It's all Karkat's fault.)
Warnings: Troll romance. Purring trolls. Adorable-awkward shenanigans. And just plain awkward. Oh my god, so much awkward. Approach with caution.

Media room.

[Eridan fidgets. This is a constant law of the universe. He fidgets with his scarf, the hem of his shirt, the sleeves of his jacket. Unless he's intensely focused on something, like when he's shooting something, Eridan Ampora is always, always fidgeting. Recently, this has unfortunately translated to an urge to kind of maybe skin himself alive. But that was besides the point.

Eridan fidgets and shifts around the couch, trying to find a comfortable posture to wait for Jade to arrive. Oh god. Jade. Is he ready to do this? He's not sure he's ready to do this. He's not really sure if this whole crazy idea is going to work or not, but he kind of needs to talk to someone about this, and he might as well doing with his... moirail.

Oh god.

Don't mind Eridan, he'll just sit there. And fidget.]


Room 1-20.

[Eridan stares at the door for a long, long moment, fidgeting some more before he works up the nerve to knock. He really doesn't want to do this, at all, but it'll be worse if he doesn't.

He's not about to let Equius deal with Karkat just because Karkat is a meddling bitch that suddenly rediscovered his aspect and his willingness to fuck with people's quadrants and okay, gonna stop that train of thought before he gets angry. That's not conductive to the monumental fuck up he's about to commit.]

Eq?

Comments

[chronomancer]

Eleven.

[Eridan muttered, startling at her voice and then sinking into the couch as if he could convince it to suck him out of existence all together.]

Sit with me?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Damn. Guess the ambulance should've been here five minutes ago.

[Teasing aside, she did oblige his request and jumped up onto the back of the couch, before setting her legs forward and sliding down into the cushion next to Eridan.]

'Sup?

[chronomancer]

Probably got lost in the maze floor or something.

[Eridan hooked his arms on the back of the couch after she settled in, then tilted his head back on the backrest and let out a quiet, warble-y groan as he stretched his legs a little.]

Karkat Vantas is a douchebag, news at eleven.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Any preschooler with eyes could see that. [Hell, she could see it and she's talked to him like. Twice.]

What great atrocity has he committed this time? Try and paint all your clothes blue?

[chronomancer]

I wish.

[Eridan sighed, pressing his hands to his face and sneaking his fingers under his shades so he can rub his eyelids and be suitably miserable.]

He's still trying to run my quadrant grid, that's what.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

What'd he do, propose to you?

[She's mostly joking. We swear.]

[chronomancer]

[Dryly.]

If he's trying to get me to hate him, he's doing a fantastic job of it.

[And a snort.]

...but no. I. Er. Might have. These... thing. Just. A thing. For a friend.

[Totally not blushing what are you talking about, not that you'd see it, since he's very firmly doing face in hands right now.]

So of course Kar has to go and be his dastardly "either you tell them or I will" and I swear to god I'm going to jump off the tower one of these days.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[You can try and hide your face all you want dude, but she's still gonna stare at you.]

You mean ~feelings~?

[The jazzhands were for emphasis.] Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if someone did. But besides the fact that Karkat can go fuck himself, what d'ya think?

[chronomancer]

...can we not?

[He mutters in despair, folding his legs up so that his feet are resting at the edge of the couch and he's essentially curling up defensively again.]

I think Karkat can go fuck himself on something rusty and sharp, but I don't want him putting... ideas on his head as it is. Shit be awkward enough.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Aw, you're no fun.

[It's the slightest of grins, but she does. You know. Actually get serious. As serious as a Strider can be at least.]

He's probably into that sorta thing. [OK now we're being serious we swear.]

I meant about your friend, though.

[chronomancer]

I don't think anyone's really into Karkat putting weird ideas in their heads, hon.

[Eridan offers a wry, wry grin.]

But Equius least of... all.

[Oh, he hadn't meant to say that name out loud. Crap.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

You got a crush on Eq?

[She's kind of amused but don't worry that's not a condescending grin on her face. She's not legitimately capable of condescension.]

[chronomancer]

[Eridan shrunk into the couch, which took effort, considering he now looked smaller than her.]

In the same way water is wet and ice is cold and oh fuck, you don't understand how fucking pitiable he is.

[Face in hands, help him god, he's going to die.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[She would give you a gold star if she actually had any stickers around for that.]

Well, I've only talked to him a few times. You gonna start gushing about how adorable your not-boyfriend is?

[chronomancer]

[Yes.]

No.

[Then.]

Maybe.

[And,]

Oh god.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[You're making it really hard not to laugh, bro.]

Come on, you know you wanna. Over-excited for the Honey Moon it sounds.

[chronomancer]

[You can laugh, he's aware he's being ridiculous. It just doesn't help that he still cares a lot about the source of his ridiculousness.]

He's just... he's always so hung up on the weirdest shit and it's kinda really fuckin' cute? We hang out sometimes and it's fun except when he falls asleep on me and then it's awkward because... yeah. And I still don't get why Karkat's so fixated on this crush, it's not like I don't get a new one every fucking week. Except maybe him being a jackass and wanting to ruin our friendship, which is not what a thief of heart is supposed to do, but what do I even know.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

I dunno. Thief of Heart still sounds like some stupid Disney villain to me.

[There's a pretty full grin on her face now. Though it's totally still not a grin because. Strider. Yes totally.

Also she's trying to resist equating Eridan to a japanese school girl.]

But if you're freaking out like this, it must be better than the other crushes, right?

[chronomancer]

I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but I'm inclined to agree on principle.

[He sighed, letting his head fall into his hands.]

I'm not sure better is the best word choice in this situation.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

On principle you have committed a childhood atrocity. [Even Striders weren't above Disney, tbh.] But we'll deal with that later.

Why not better?

[chronomancer]

Fine, tell me how I've abused your childhood later.

[He quirks his lips a little at that, but the smile vanishes after that and he shrugs, raking his hands through his hair.]

Because this is going to end in disaster and I might actually miss the friendship once it's ruined?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

How's he feel 'bout you? I mean I talked to him and he doesn't seem like a total raging douchebag, so I doubt he'd just drop you like it's hot.

[chronomancer]

He will.

[Eridan winced, remembering one of his less than stellar moments, upon coming back from the wasteland and the hideous things he told Equius until the poor boy ended up with his head stuck under the faucet.]

Not because he's a douchebag, mind. But because that's what Equius does.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

I guess I could see him dropping a hot potato pretty easily. [Jade stop being amused by stupid mental images.]

You can hate on your friends all they want, but they still got your back.

[chronomancer]

[But if she stopped, she wouldn't be Jade. :(]

...I suppose.

[So unconvinced.]