[OPEN] alas, my children

[andajarofdirt]

Characters: Jack, Jack & you.
Setting: Floor 42
Format: Starting action, but I'll match you either way.
Summary: In which Jack - the monkey - is being a pest, and Jack - the pirate - wants his goddamn hat back. 
Warnings: Jack Sparrow being Jack Sparrow. Also, creepy undead monkey and potential shooting of it.

JACK!

[Captain Jack Sparrow does not usually scream. Or screech. Or lose his cool, composed air of sophisticated pirate lord. In other words, he's usually too busy pretending to be drunk to do much, really. But sometimes a man must take a stand. Sometimes, there's a monkey involved. Sometimes, a hat is in danger.]

Bugger all, you little pest. I'm gonna shoot yer brains out, see if I don't!

[Sometimes, when an undead monkey steals your hat and runs away into a floor made of shifting, moving bars, you think "oh god, why" or "I bet you all this is God's way of getting back at me about the priest thing" and "I really did think it was a brothel, mate, it's a common mistake to make!" When you're Jack Sparrow, though, the reaction is more along the lines of profuse pirate swearing before chasing after it. Into the bars. Which is where your character will find him, balancing around half drunkenly, moving along and trying to reach the monkey with the hat, pistol at hand. He can't shoot the monkey because then his hat will fall off, but he can certainly chase it.

You know, for someone who's supposedly drunk off his ass - how!? - Jack has an uncanny sense of balance, able to run and jump and otherwise chase around after the undead, chittering monkey with relative ease.]

I will make bullets outta your bones, Jack, to make up for the ones you make me waste!

Comments

[myblueskies]

It's not a lie sir! I don't lie! [He pulls a face] And monkeys are people too and you shouldn't shoot them!

[andajarofdirt]

Oh don't give me that face, you just did!

[Jack scoffs.]

Again! Everyone lies, kid, it's what makes people people.

[And suddenly Jack was Dr. House.]

Which brings us to my next excellent point, not to say that all my points aren't excellent, because they are: monkeys are not people. Monkeys are shooting targets with annoying lungs and a tendency to steal hats and bite on hair.

[myblueskies]

No I didn't! [He pulls another face] Only bad people lie and I'm not a bad person!

And of course monkey's are people, you shouldn't shoot anyone! [He shakes his head] You're a bad person aren't you!

[andajarofdirt]

You really need to stop lying.

[Jack gives Romeo an odd look.]

You've got this all wrong lad, and that's only gonna get ya hurt in the long run.

[myblueskies]

I'm not lying sir! What did I get wrong! [He blinked cautiously at the man.]

[andajarofdirt]

Well, to begin with, you're lookin' at this all wrong, which is the first step in getting it all wrong. It's not about what you say, but what you do. Which can sometimes be very bad and sometimes very good and most of the time just what you feel like.

[Abruptly, he shoots Jack, sending the monkey bouncing off the bars and leaving his hat to float back down for him to grab it.]

Damn that felt good.

[myblueskies]

[Well that did it. Romeo stomped over to where Jack was, wobbling a bit on the bars. His face was angry but also sad.] That's a really nasty thing you did sir! Why did you shoot it! You must be a really bad person!

[andajarofdirt]

Ha! He had it coming.

[Jack is keeping an eye on the boy, just to make sure he doesn't do something stupid like fall down and get hurt, but for now he'll pretend to be busy putting his hat on. There was a loud, offended chittering from where Jack had landed on the bars, as the monkey made a racket, annoyed.]

Oh, shut up, you so had it coming!

[Jack bared its teeth at Jack and Jack scoffed.]

I've been nice to you, have I not? Hadn't shot you in nearly a week!

[myblueskies]

[Romeo pulled a face] You shouldn't shoot him at all! Because he's small and can't fight back and you have a gun and he doesn't!

[He looked up at the scary man before glancing back at the monkey, hoping it would run away so it didn't get hurt anymore.]

[andajarofdirt]

There you go lying again, little boy! You seem to have a problem with that. Trust me, of course he can fight back.

[Jack lets out a loud monkey laugh at that.]

And he doesn't need a pistol for that. For all the good the pistol does.

[The monkey jumps up and down on a bar and then starts bouncing about, heading towards Jack.]

And of course! In the end, you come back for more!

[myblueskies]

"I'm not lying sir! I'm glad he can fight back though because you're really nasty to him." He pulled a face again.

"Do you want me to help you fight him off?"

He's talking to the monkey, not the man.

[andajarofdirt]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you say he can't fight, when he can, isn't that a lie? Isn't lying the act of saying something which is veritably untrue? And can be proven as such? Because this whole discussion with you, little laddie, it seems to rest on the fact you don't seem to know what a lie is and I will make bullets out of your bones, Jack, so don't you dare.

[Jack the monkey merely screeches at the threat, bouncing from bar to bar and then circling around Jack's body and swinging around from the dreads. For a monkey that got shot so dramatically, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. No blood, no nothing, just same annoying Jack as ever. He perches on a shoulder and bares its teeth at Jack.]

You're reprehensible. Incorrigible. Insufferable. Good for nothing pest.

[myblueskies]

"Well I didn't know! I wont say it again now I know it's not true!" He scowled again, "Don't you dare hurt him!"

Romeo was glad the monkey was okay, he watched him bare his teeth and Jack and then rushed forwards, planning to help him.