Aftermath [open]

[swordofzero]

Characters: Suzaku and anyone
Setting: Floor 26; the morgue, forward dated to the 26th
Format: Anything
Summary: General aftermath of the body swap event, Suzaku finally emerges because his Geass forces him to find food and then he cooks food, come and join him!
Warnings: Angst, themes of death and deaths seeking. Also various people punching Suzaku in the face

The moment Suzaku had been forcibly returned to his own body he had fled the library, fled those who had dragged him here, fled the frightened faces of those returning to normal and went and hid. The tower was a good place to hide, floors where no one wanted to go, floors with lots of places to go.

Floors that filled both criteria, like the one Suzaku had been hiding out in. It was ridiculously morbid he thought hiding in a graveyard but he didn't think it was a real one. After all it had just appeared and it wasn't like anyone died here...

But he had hid, stewing in his own thoughts sorting out what had happened. He still remembered what he had learned from Jin, but he knew they were his memories now. Separate from Suzaku's own. This probably meant Jin had his own memories as well, knew everything that Suzaku hadn't been telling people for the year he had been there.

And he had hurt them, Jin, Minato, Yu... They had tried to help him and he had lashed out. Tried to die... tried to kill Jin...

Minato had told him he wouldn't forgive him and Suzaku believed him. Part of him was relieved that Minato's constant forgiving him for every wrong Suzaku did him would be over. The only times he had left this floor was to check that Lelouch and Nunnally were alright. He hadn't spoken to them though, just saw from a distance. He knew he should speak to them, they would have had their own issues, especially Nunnally. It was the first time such a thing had happened while she had been here.

But he couldn't bring himself to face them and solitude was easy. He knew it was cowardly but in a lot of ways things were harder here than they had been at home. He had no goal, for the first time since he was ten.

So he had stayed and let the exhaustion that struck whenever he slept out of his own bed and the hunger get to him. Finally though the Geass took over, because it could not let him get too week, would not let him die.

And so anyone passing through floor twenty six would see tendrils of smoke away from the stairs, Suzaku cooking a rabbit he had caught in the forest, now he was actually cooking the food the Geass flare had faded from his eyes, hunger doing the rest to make sure he ate..

Comments

[morituramfides]

If it's any consolation, Jin still hates your guts for reasons that have nothing to do with you killing other people. It's mostly just the give-me-back-my-body-you-dumbass thing. Although even that fury has quelled quite a lot, with how things had actually turned out well for him.

"Good job, you can detect sarcasm." He shrugged. "Let's just say I'm amazed with your life decisions."

Because one of them was going to have to acknowledge that they both could write the other's full biography at some point.

[swordofzero]

Suzaku didn't hate Jin, but he hated himself enough to not care about deflecting Jin's hate for him. He deserved it. He rolled his eyes though, knowing everything about a person who he didn't even like was strange but it was the way things were and they couldn't ignore it.

"Like yours are any better."

[morituramfides]

"I'd rather live on the streets as a murderer than let myself be willingly used by some jackasses that don't like me."

His tone was lest sarcastic and more directed, but his stature was still pretty flippant and dismissive. "Or did you not get that?"

[swordofzero]

"I don't care what people think of me," he had once, a long time ago. Before Euphie's death. But now... He had done so much wrong then it would be rediculous of him to expect people to like him. He was not a likable person.

"I'd rather be used in the hope I will do some good than chose to murder for money."

[morituramfides]

"Oh come on." He rolled his eyes slightly, quirking an eyebrow and lightly holding up one finger to point at Suzaku, though it wasn't accusingly. He ain't even that mad!

"You keep saying that, but why the hell else are you doing all that bullshit for Britannia? Maybe you don't care if they hate you, but there's gotta be some part of you that wants to do them good so that one day they'll stop. That's just how normal humans are. You wouldn't just let yourself be used if you had some kinda confidence. "

#Bullshit Psychology Degree

"That's what I don't get. How you can still think anyone gives a shit at the end of the day."

[swordofzero]

Suzaku glared at him a while longer because Jin's words hurt; mostly because they were true and he hated him for knowing Suzaku so well now. That he knew exactly how to hurt him.

But he was right and really Suzaku shouldn't hate him for hurting him; since it was more or less what he did to himself every day and he deserved it; he had tried to kill Jin after all. "I wanted to change them from the inside, I don't care that they hated me, I didn't care about what they did or what they made me do, because I wanted to make a difference..."

He shook his head, he had no idea how normal humans worked, and neither did Jin; Suzaku knew that. Jin had fought against those who had hurt him; but what had it got him?

The life of a murderer; which was the exact same thing Suzaku had got. "The worlds are gone, it doesn't even matter anymore."

[morituramfides]

Sorry, Jin'd much rather the life of a murderer than a life imprisoned-- in any sense of the word.

"That's a load of bullshit and you know." His pointing finger became a bit more accusatory as he raised the gesture, but he soon spread his fingers out again and dropped his hand. "You can't change people from the inside. Sure as hell can't do it unless you're willing to get a bit dirty."

He took the glare in stride, and returned the look with his own narrow gaze, as he peered over the frame of his glasses.

"If it doesn't matter, then will you stop with the 'woe is me' attitude? You screwed up big time. Get the hell over it before someone pushes you off the tower for being so annoying."

[swordofzero]

"Like they could." Suzaku scoffed and stared at the fire again, what Jin said was right, he hadn't been able to change things from the inside after all. In Lelouch's world they had won, but Jason had claimed they all came from different versions of their worlds...

They had no reason to believe him... But no real alternative to explain why there were time differences. Why he only knew up to a certain point yet Lelouch claimed he had been there later.

So it seemed like Lelouch had won, the Suzaku of his world hadn't screwed up quite so much...

But he wasn't him and he continued screwing up even here. His eyes flickered from the fire back up to Jin; wishing he would leave him alone but knowing that there was something he had to say.

"I'm sorry I tried to kill you, I almost messed everything up." Again.

[morituramfides]

See, hew as doing all fine, rolling with just getting to insult Suzakua gain, and then the bastard has to go with the stupid apology sob story. Augh.

"I'm not interested in your remorse." He's hardly interested in his own! "We stopped your dumb ass and swapped back, so why the fuck are you apologizing? There's not much to apologize for stupidity."

[swordofzero]

"Because it's the decent thing to do." That's what you did when you screwed up; but Suzaku doesn't mind too much that Jin hasn't accepted it, he didn't expect him to and would have been shocked if he had.

"Why are you here?"

[morituramfides]

"I'm only here because I was passing through," He said simply, sticking one hand in his pocket and bringing the other hand to lightly rub the bruise on the side of his face. He wasn't overtly trying to be a dick at least, it was just kind of...subconsciously trying to be a dick.

"And dumbasses like you leave a bad taste in my mouth. Stupidity's an aggravating curse on most of humanity."

Ok that time he was probably actually trying to be a dick.

[swordofzero]

Suzaku stared at the bruise for a moment, he felt bad for that as well. It was just... low down on his list of things to feel bad about. Compared to everything else he had done over the last few days.

He stared at the fire, "I'm not stupid." Lelouch called him an idiot all the time; but that brought up it's own painful memories.

[morituramfides]

"I'll believe that one when I finally see it."

He lowered his hand back down to be planted on his hip. "You've got a problem with me rolling over and being a murderer, but I don't see you trying to do anything to help around here."

It... actually could sound like some kind of genuine encouragement, if you ignored the fact that it was...him.

[swordofzero]

"Oh like you did anything to help before you ended up as me," yeah Jin, he's got your memories, though Jin seemed to be doing more as time went on; as apposed to Suzaku who was doing less. "Gathering information is one thing but what are you going to do with it?"

Also he hates the fact it was Jin with that anonymous survey, or at least hates the fact he answered it.

He ignores the criticism, he had tried to help, and then he had given up. There was no point.

[morituramfides]

Don't worry, Jin was equally as annoyed that it was Suzaku that had answered. Sayaka had handled that one.

His eyes narrowed even more, the bridge of his nose crinkling in distaste. "What, you think it was because of your 'positive influence' that I actually did something? I'm not the one that completely forgot who I was by the end of the month; your dumb little mind wasn't going to take over mine.

"As for the information, that's none of your damn business. Winning this war's about more than just heavy hitting. In case you didn't notice, we can't even touch them."

[swordofzero]

"I wouldn't be surprised," Suzaku turned away from Jin, he actually didn't believe it was anything to do with him, he was no use to anyone.

"It's not like any information you receive isn't just what they want you to know anyways. They aren't going to ever let anything important slip."

[morituramfides]

"Really?" He's not gonna waste his time arguing that he's better than you, when he can just prove it. He smirked.

"Sometimes things slip through the cracks that they don't always realize. You just have to know where to look and who to talk to-- and accept the consequences."

Because oh yes, does he have some information he's sure they never intended for them to know.

[swordofzero]

Which means Suzaku has it too, somewhere in this swirl of memories that he now had of Jin's. "And you don't care about the consequences? At all?"

He wouldn't be surprised if he didn't, though he knew he had cared about being forced to do surgery on those in the pods, and knew he cared more than he let on about being turned into a monster in the library.

[morituramfides]

Then Suzaku should've been much more happy about it!

"Nope. Not anymore. You know me-- live in the now, right?"

Who cares if that stuff bothered him a little? All of this bullshit they were being put through was only temporary after all, and so would everything in the future.

[swordofzero]

He would be if he cared about anything, but he doesn't. "Yes, your lack of any planning for the future has served you so well."

He wasn't sure about that, after all they probably had the power to do something permanent. They hadn't so far but he didn't think that would stop them in the future.

[morituramfides]

Of course Jin wasn't thinking about that future possibility; he was certain that anything that happened would get better after the time limit or by just jumping off the roof. Because he actually had the luxury of being able to die!!

"Like your plans have turn out so well?" There's a very flat look as Jin gestures with his left hand. "If you were right, I'd be the one cowering away from you while you ruminate in your failure."

[swordofzero]

"I'm not cowering." Because he wasn't, not very much anyways. "And they might have worked, if I hadn't ended up here."

At least in Lelouch's world Zero Requiem had worked, perhaps if Suzaku's world hadn't ended so quickly he would have succeeded too...

Perhaps. Or maybe he would have just failed. Brought about a worse world than the one he set out to change.

[morituramfides]

"Then what d'you call hiding around like a hermit all day doing, huh? 'Recuperating'?" Hypocrisy thy name is Shirato.

"Might have worked. And from what I saw, you had a damn low chance at any success."

[swordofzero]

Suzaku shrugged, that had been what he was doing. Recovering, trying not to cause those he knew more pain than he had already.

"It worked in Lelouch's world." Of course Jin might not have seen Zero Requiem as a success, he wasn't exactly the self sacrificing type.

[morituramfides]

The shrug got a scoff; taking recovery periods weren't exactly a thing that Jin knew about, or had ever done himself, unless it was when he got injured.

Indeed he didn't; that got the quirk of an eyebrow. "You call Zero Requiem as a success?" Really?