Aftermath [open]

[swordofzero]

Characters: Suzaku and anyone
Setting: Floor 26; the morgue, forward dated to the 26th
Format: Anything
Summary: General aftermath of the body swap event, Suzaku finally emerges because his Geass forces him to find food and then he cooks food, come and join him!
Warnings: Angst, themes of death and deaths seeking. Also various people punching Suzaku in the face

The moment Suzaku had been forcibly returned to his own body he had fled the library, fled those who had dragged him here, fled the frightened faces of those returning to normal and went and hid. The tower was a good place to hide, floors where no one wanted to go, floors with lots of places to go.

Floors that filled both criteria, like the one Suzaku had been hiding out in. It was ridiculously morbid he thought hiding in a graveyard but he didn't think it was a real one. After all it had just appeared and it wasn't like anyone died here...

But he had hid, stewing in his own thoughts sorting out what had happened. He still remembered what he had learned from Jin, but he knew they were his memories now. Separate from Suzaku's own. This probably meant Jin had his own memories as well, knew everything that Suzaku hadn't been telling people for the year he had been there.

And he had hurt them, Jin, Minato, Yu... They had tried to help him and he had lashed out. Tried to die... tried to kill Jin...

Minato had told him he wouldn't forgive him and Suzaku believed him. Part of him was relieved that Minato's constant forgiving him for every wrong Suzaku did him would be over. The only times he had left this floor was to check that Lelouch and Nunnally were alright. He hadn't spoken to them though, just saw from a distance. He knew he should speak to them, they would have had their own issues, especially Nunnally. It was the first time such a thing had happened while she had been here.

But he couldn't bring himself to face them and solitude was easy. He knew it was cowardly but in a lot of ways things were harder here than they had been at home. He had no goal, for the first time since he was ten.

So he had stayed and let the exhaustion that struck whenever he slept out of his own bed and the hunger get to him. Finally though the Geass took over, because it could not let him get too week, would not let him die.

And so anyone passing through floor twenty six would see tendrils of smoke away from the stairs, Suzaku cooking a rabbit he had caught in the forest, now he was actually cooking the food the Geass flare had faded from his eyes, hunger doing the rest to make sure he ate..

Comments

[tempus_scorpius]

[Rolo will just be leaning against the door, after having followed the smoke.]

So there you are.

[swordofzero]

[Suzaku looked up and blinked when he saw who it was.] Rolo... Did you want something?

[tempus_scorpius]

Nothing. [He looks around.] I just the smoke. [And he's been watching you check on Lelouch and Nunnally.] Interesting place for having a meal.

[swordofzero]

Oh. [Well unfortunately you can't have a fire without smoke, and he can't actually remember lighting the fire, but he shrugged. He was still wary around Rolo but being hostile wouldn't get him anywhere...

If only he had remembered that a few days ago...]

Do you want some?

[tempus_scorpius]

I've already eaten.

How long do you plan on hiding up here?

[swordofzero]

[Suzaku shrugged] Until I'm forced to sleep I guess.

[And hopefully he will be able to sleep without bumping into anyone.]

[tempus_scorpius]

... forced to?

You really wish for death that badly?

[morituramfides]

Frankly, when Suzaku had run off, Jin was glad to see that dumbass' face finally out of his sight. He'd had his own face back and his own voice back, and he had to take some time to get over ow he somehow felt even worse than when he first left that body thanks a lot you asshole. Part of it was no duobt the fact that he had grown a bit accustomed to at least no more aches in his joints (though the chest pains from the coughing fits weren't very pleasant either), and had been forced back into his broken-down shit hole of a body suddenly, but there was also the fact that he, Minato and Yu had to fight this dumbass to get his stupid body back.

Like most of their meetings though, it was entirely a coincidence that Jin was passing through, sporting a nice, big ol' bruise on his face under his eye from when he...punched...himself. Body swaps were complicated. Along with a nice crack in the lense of his glasses, but it was small enough and in the corner that he didn't care much.

The smoke idly catches his attention, and when he decides on a whim to investigate it...he really wish he hadn't. Augh.

"Up so early, Lancelot?"

It's amazing he hasn't punched you again already because he was still pretty pissed.

[swordofzero]

Suzaku had not wanted to be disturbed but of all the people he was avoiding... Jin was the very last person he wanted to see. He felt hideously guilty about everything; insulting him, trying to kill him, fighting him. Added to the fact he still remembered Jin's life and generally felt guilty for everything he had ever done to hurt the other boy.

But he also remembered Jin's levels of hatred for him, he deserved them but it was strange knowing so thoroughly how much another person hated you.

He looked up, his eyes dead of most emotions except guilt; which he didn't bother hiding. "Is that meant to be an insult?"

[morituramfides]

If it's any consolation, Jin still hates your guts for reasons that have nothing to do with you killing other people. It's mostly just the give-me-back-my-body-you-dumbass thing. Although even that fury has quelled quite a lot, with how things had actually turned out well for him.

"Good job, you can detect sarcasm." He shrugged. "Let's just say I'm amazed with your life decisions."

Because one of them was going to have to acknowledge that they both could write the other's full biography at some point.

[swordofzero]

Suzaku didn't hate Jin, but he hated himself enough to not care about deflecting Jin's hate for him. He deserved it. He rolled his eyes though, knowing everything about a person who he didn't even like was strange but it was the way things were and they couldn't ignore it.

"Like yours are any better."

[morituramfides]

"I'd rather live on the streets as a murderer than let myself be willingly used by some jackasses that don't like me."

His tone was lest sarcastic and more directed, but his stature was still pretty flippant and dismissive. "Or did you not get that?"

[swordofzero]

"I don't care what people think of me," he had once, a long time ago. Before Euphie's death. But now... He had done so much wrong then it would be rediculous of him to expect people to like him. He was not a likable person.

"I'd rather be used in the hope I will do some good than chose to murder for money."

[pitiedthefool]

[Yeah, it was rather hard to miss the scent of smoke as he walked up the stairs. Normally, he stayed away from the morgue for obvious reasons. Today was apparently the exception since... Suzaku, what the hell were you doing cooking a rabbit over a fire while surrounded by dead bodies that made zero sense.

The part of him that remembered well what happened back home for the guy made him want to say something, but his having messed up while stuck in his friend's body made him pause first.

...Fine, Izanagi. He'll say something.]

I wondered when you'd surface again. [Oddly enough, he doesn't sound too bitter.]

[swordofzero]

[This was the very reason that Suzaku had until today not eaten, because smoke attracted people. People who he didn't want to see.

He looked at Yu, remembering their fight though Yu had still been in Lelouch's body, using Lelouch's memories against him.]

It wasn't by choice.

[pitiedthefool]

Yeah... these 'orders' can be a real pain in the ass, huh.

[Yu shakes his head, trying to stop that, really. It was bad enough that he had his own masks to deal with, so he thought he could just push that particular one back and dismiss it like the others. Guess he wasn't so lucky this time.]

...Sorry about last week. It was out of line.

[It's really all he can say, along with just dropping a small plate of food from the party last night that he'd been carrying. Really, he was going to just leave it at Suzaku's dorm room, but hey. Found him, instead.]

[swordofzero]

[Suzaku shrugged, it was an old annoyance. The Geass was even useful some times and yeah he wasn't going to critisise Lelouch even if their friendship wasn't exactly strong at the moment.

He was surprised at the apology though, he expected anger from Jin's friends. After all he had tried to kill Jin as well as himself, he definitely hadn't been expecting an apology and... food...]

What's this?

[pitiedthefool]

[Darn you, Reversed social links. He was really going to have a handful in kicking Lelouch into shape again after seeing and experiencing what a great number of them had the last week. Meaning no, he wasn't going to abandon that Hanged Man. Already gave him two black eyes indirectly, anyway and beat him at Halo.

Also it's totally a peace offering.]

Leftovers from last night. [He vaguely shrugs it off. Hey, if he could forgive Izanami and somehow manage to not slice Adachi in half...] You missed Nunnally beating Lelouch at Halo. Also throwing darts at Jason's face.

[Noooope, totally not his doing. What are you talking about? The latter was all Jin's doing.]

[swordofzero]

[He had no idea what had gone on last night but from the look of the food it had been some kind of party. He recognised Halo as one of the games in the media room. Nunnally had played it? And beaten Lelouch...

He was glad that she was beginning to find a place here, even if he still wished she wasn't here at all. Still this more independent Nunnally took a little to get used to.

He kind of wishes he could have thrown darts at Jason's face though...]

Thank you... [His voice cracks a little, because damnit Yu no one is meant to care about him. He's supposed to be hiding out until people's anger cools and then quietly avoiding them. You are meant to be angry and punching him.] I don't deserve this.

BACKTAG POWER ON

[fractus_animus]

Thing is, Suzaku? He only said he wouldn't forgive you if you let his friend die. It sort of meant pissing on everything they stood for. Minato had the fortunate luxury of knowing someone who had a Persona that could scan floor by floor, making his search for Suzaku all the easier, because like hell was he about to just let it go.

Though, not for the reasons Suzaku'd probably think.

Minato wanders into the clearing looking pretty damn tired but otherwise in semi-decent health (for as decent as anyone in Strega's health COULD be, at least.) He isn't very happy, but that's not surprising at all considering what happened not all that long ago.

Well, Suzaku now knew everything about his 'family', the sort of things they did, how 'horrible' they were. He had Jin's memories well enough at that point that he's quite certain he'd remember going on hits with him where Minato himself could be comparable to Lelouch in terms of sheer manipulation and 'punishment' for those he believed, frankly, deserved it. And yet he is oddly non-violent, for a murderer and vigilante of a sort.

He crosses his arms.

"Had Chidori locate you. Knew you couldn't hide forever. What the hell do you think you're doing like this, anyway?"

[swordofzero]

Oh great, another person Suzaku didn't want to see right now. Or ever. Well... not for a while anyways. He looked down at the fire, he didn't actually find Minato horrible. He was actually impressed that Minato had managed to keep as much humanity throughout his life. More than Suzaku. Suzaku's attempt at only hurting those that deserved it...

Well the less said about that the better, the less thought about that the better. Suzaku didn't know how much Jin had told Minato of what he now knew about Suzaku.

"I..." He didn't have an answer and just stared at the fire. "I'm sorry..."

[fractus_animus]

Yeah, he's not really pleased with you and it shows in the rare narrowing of his eyes and vague frustration in his voice. He knew enough about Suzaku, at least. Enough that he was pissed he'd think this way.

"Sorry doesn't cut it. I want some answers, and I think we both know you owe me that much." Yes, he's upset. He's upset that Suzaku would act like this, that he'd really think his own self wasn't important, that he meant nothing.

"Do you really place that little value in your own life?"

[swordofzero]

Well finally, Suzaku had been waiting to push Minato's patience. Ever since February he had been waiting for Minato to realise that he really wasn't worth forgiving and actually be angry at him.

Suzaku met the anger face on and shrugged, he supposed he did owe him, owe him answers if he wasn't going to accept an apology.

"No," he lied instinctively, and then paused because what was the point of lying when Minato probably knew the truth anyways. "... Yes... I am sorry I almost hurt Jin though... I... wasn't thinking clearly, I shouldn't have put your friend in danger."

Because that should be what Minato was mad at.

[fractus_animus]

Minato just scoffs. Damn right you're not going to lie to him, Suzaku. He'll see right through it, you're transparent as hell.

"Yeah, I'm pissed about what you did. But you were also dealing with Moros, and as you probably already know, none of us are exactly put together as well as most people. That's not really why I'm mad, Suzaku."

After a moment, he just sighs.

"... What about your friends? How do you think they'd feel if you were just gone forever? Did you ever think about how much Lelouch-san sacrificed for you? We could tell, you know. Yu told me some things. It was pretty obvious from the get-go he cared about you a lot. And you'd just throw that life away, wouldn't you?"

It... it really pisses him off, to be honest.

"It must be nice, knowing you can throw yourself away so easily. No wonder he gave you that command. You don't even think it's worth living because you believe you're some sort of monster, don't you? Well, so are we. And our lives were stolen from us. You had his memories, you can probably tell we don't have long to live. How could you just... throw away a perfectly good life other people cared so much about?"

[swordofzero]

Suzaku just stared at him sullenly, because even though his friends... Nunnally at least would be sad if he was gone forever... She would be able to move on. Lelouch would have protected her...

The logic wasn't as solid now that he didn't have Moros screaming in his head but still. "You aren't monsters, you were taken as children, those things were done to you. I was a killer as a child, not like Rolo... I wasn't brought up as a killer. I had a normal childhood and yet the first thing to happen. The war and I decided the only way to stop it was by killing. I made the choice to be a monster."

He did have their memories and though they had done much bad, and some of it he didn't understand he knew all of them had more humanity than he did. He might have had good motives once, but they had been lost over time until he could no longer deny what he was.

"There is no war here, Lelouch said himself he doesn't need me." He wasn't sure Minato was right about Lelouch caring about him. He had been useful to Lelouch's plans, they were friends yes but Suzaku had done so much bad... They were together for Zero Requiem but even that would end in Suzaku killing Lelouch...