[CLOSED] No one would tell me why

[chronomancer]

Characters: [AU1] Eridan Ampora (chronomancer ) and [OU] Eridan Ampora (wweh ).
Setting: Floor 7.
Format: [Action]
Summary: Sea trolls are excellent swimmers. Desert trolls, though? Not so much.
Warnings: Lots and lots of swearing. Also queer Aquarius bonding. Kind of.

[Your name is Eridan Ampora and you are a fucking idiot. You're wet and half-drowned and generally hating life a lot. You're also clutching to the side of the pool with all your wits, claws scrapping on the wet surface and not really finding enough traction to pull yourself out. You're also missing your sunglasses and that's kind of not really helping with the whole pissed off and wet and drowning thing.

You think this might actually be the stupidest way you've died, yet. And that's kind of a record, on its own.

You hadn't meant to fall in. Of course you hadn't, you're not that brain damaged. You'd always been smart enough to edge away from the water, it's just that something caught your eye in the depth, a glimmer of something or another, and you leaned in to take a look. And then you kind of lost your balance because it was like standing on a cliff except worse because it's water and honestly, fuck water. You barely managed to half scramble your way against the wall - bounced your head off it, of course - and well. Here you are.

You've also discovered a hitherto unknown property of your scarf: it's fucking heavy as hell when wet.

You hate being wet. You're not meant to be this wet. Ever. It's tiresome and your stupid body keeps trying to sink and you can't really pull yourself up, and you're honestly wondering if you shouldn't just let yourself drown. Except fuck, you nearly drowned already, coming up, and that was the least pleasant thing you've gone through in a very long while. A very good reason for landdwellers who aren't you and thus aren't idiots to keep the fuck away from water.

Have you mentioned you hate water? Because you do. A lot.]

Comments

[wweh]

[Yeah, Eridan stopped by the area for a swim, happy to see that at least there was one way that he was superior to this other guy. Other than his blood color, he means. So, he'll stand and gloat for awhile before coming to help him.]

Ha, how the hell could you ever hope to be me, you can't even fuckin' swim!

[Still watching him flail, while laughing... only he actually realizes, shit, this guy is drowning. Still, said with quite a smirk.]

Do you... need any help?

[chronomancer]

[Eridan let out a wet, raspy growl in reply to the gloating. Because gloating? NOT. HELPING.

Also not helping is the distraction which causes him to slide down a little more and then panic and flail and hold onto the edge a little harder and oh god, he's going to murder Eridan if he doesn't stop laughing. He might just murder him anyway.]

Oh no! Of course not.

[Hey, at least we know drowning is not enough to make the snarky sarcasm go away.]

I'm perfectly fine. Drowning is like my fuckin' hobby an' shit. Because I haven't fucking died in sufficiently horrifyin' goddamn ways. An' fuckin' water is just about what I goddamn need right now and what the fuck are you waitin' for a grubfuckin' engraved invitation with the mother grub's signature on it, get me the fuck out of here.

[You know what the problem with ranting is? Ranting usually involves grand hand gestures. Grand hand gestures are a bad idea when when you're clutching a wall with all your might because the wall is all that's standing between you and drowning. And when you get a wee bit carried away you let go of the wall and then you're drowning again and flailing and oh god, yeah, dying. He surfaces after a second, flailing a reaching for the side again.]

...fuck. Everything.

[wweh]

[Eridan sighs. Okay, fine he'll get his feet wet and actually swim. Especially when he sees himself drowning. God, it was pathetic. He takes his scarf off, and dives in to actually pull him out.]

Leave the swimmin' to those who are born with it, next time.

[He gets close enough so Eridan can grab his hand. This was weird.]

[chronomancer]

[Oh god why are you grabbing his hand, you're gonna make him let go of the side, he can't let go of the side, oh god, oh god, oh god. He might or might not be actually saying that out loud, along with a choked, raspy whine. I don't think you understand the levels of Do Not Want this whole debacle has been, Eridan.]

[wweh]

[Okay, Jadeeri is a little heavier than he expected. It's taking him way more work than he intended to exert today. Oh well, at least this won't get him killed. A few strokes later, Eridan pulls him out of the water, breathing heavily.]

Word a' advice: If you're goin' to go swimmin' take off your fuckin' scarf. Or get a better one out a' more waterproof material. Or lose a' few pounds, do you know HOW HARD it was to pull you out a' that water?

[chronomancer]

[Eridan is just going to lie on the ground for a moment, hang on, he needs to reconnect with this beautiful, gorgeous lady called solid ground. Then, after a moment, he pulled a spare pair of sunglasses out of his jacket, slid them on and raised a hand, without really moving the rest of his body.]

Number one, fuck you. Number two, fuck that deathtrap. Number three, fuck water. Number four, fuck life.

[wweh]

[Eridan groans. He goes out of his way to save your ass from drowning and what does he get?]
You're welcome. I didn't have to save you, you know. I could a' just let you drown an' say to know your role, but I didn't.

Besides, I guess I kind a' owed you one.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan coughs a little, letting out a small, miserable sound as he forces himself to sit up. He snorts, running a hand over his wet hair.]

You owe me shit, Eridan.

[There's a note of bitterness to that, since he's a little too ruffled by nearly drowning to keep a good grip on everything. He shakes his head and slumps somewhat. He looks kind of... small, wet and shivery.]

Thanks for not letting die the most stupid death 'a my career.

[wweh]

I couldn't have someone lookin' like me look so stupid in the water.

[Long, awkward pause. Someone doesn't know how to say you're welcome sincerely...]

You okay?

[chronomancer]

[There was a momentary pause.]

...not really.

[And then a bit of a grunt as he tries to balance himself back to his feet. Definitely not looking his best, right now: sopping wet, it's kinda hard to ignore the fact he looks half-starved and a touch too scrawny for his own good. He shrugs, though, trying to hide a bit of a shiver.]

Should probably. Go change or something. Last thing I need is to get sick.

[Another awkward pause.]

Thanks.