A'huntin we will go~

[sacred_flamer]

Characters: Luke fon Fabre and YOU
Setting: Floor Six (until he realizes how dangerous it is), and then Floor Thirty-Two.
Format: You decide.
Summary: Luke needs warmer clothes and something other than nutrition bars to eat. Naturally, this leads to so much fail.
Warnings: Luke. Failing. AT EVERYTHING.

[There was a soft rustle from the underbrush on floor six, and if you looked closely, you might see a head of red hair snooping around. He's being surprisingly quiet for one so loud, and if you stick around long enough, you'll get to see why.]

[There's a few deer lurking around, minding their own business, and Luke is heading straight for them. He keeps himself quiet, waiting... and then he leaps from his hiding place, sword brandished and eyes squeezed shut as he aims to behead one of the deer...!]

[...but the deer are having none of that. One with a medium size rack of antlers snapped its head toward Luke, baring its teeth and letting out a dangerous, not-very-deer-like growl. He somehow fumbled in mid-air, landing on his butt as the other deer turned on him, letting out similar noises. A startled, "Meep!" escaped from him as he scooted back on his behind, before finally flailing up to his feet.]

[This was the second batch that did that! This was so not a nice forest!]

[Later on, on floor thirty-six, you'll get to see him doing much of the same... with the same amount of success. Clearly, Luke fails at this whole "hunting" thing, and needs a mentor (or someone to mock him).]

Comments

[sacred_flamer]

It's kinda hard with the rack on this thing...

[Seriously, the head is flopping around all over the place, and it really smells.]

[bloodyashes]

[Get used to the smell, Luke, it doesn't exactly disappear when the hide is cured.]

Just watch that it doesn't get hooked on doorways.

[sacred_flamer]

Ngh...

[He's trying, that's why he's walking a little more carefully.]

[bloodyashes]

[Just for you, Asch will handle the door to the kitchen, holding it open at least long enough for Luke to get a shoulder through.]

[sacred_flamer]

[You can be an awesome original sometimes, Asch. Luke was more than happy to scoot into the kitchen, dropping the deadweight on the nearest table with a pained grunt.]

//gets back to this belatedly

[bloodyashes]

[Asch deposits his kill on the next table over.]

You're going to want to take your gloves off. And probably that coat as well, unless you want it stained.

[Messy job, this. At least the kitchen is warm, compared to the rest of the tower - if they get cold, they can always leave the oven open for a bit.

For himself, Asch hangs up his cloak and starts at the buckles on his tabard - it'll just be in his way.]

[sacred_flamer]

Er... right...

[Oh god, he's cold enough as it is; now Asch wants him to strip off his coat? This sucks!]

[Reluctantly, Luke did just that, draping his coat and gloves over a chair and fighting back the urge to shudder. D-dammit... this had better be worth it.]

[bloodyashes]

[It's that or bloodstains, Luke. And for some reason, Asch gets the idea that you'd be absolutely clueless when it comes to getting blood out of fabric.

For his part, he's looking through the drawers to find some knives suitable for skinning.]

If you want to be useful, find a trash bin we can dump the organs in.

[sacred_flamer]

[...oh Luke's stomach totally flip-flopped at that. He struggled not to make a face, looking around for some kind of bin instead. It took him a moment to locate a garbage can, and he pushed it over.]

Will this be okay?

also I know relatively little about this WATCH ME WINGING IT

[bloodyashes]

That should do fine, at least to get started with.

[Note to self, it will probably also contain Luke's puke at some future point. Luke your stomach is weak as hell.

As for Asch, he's got most of the knives they'll need, so he sets them up along the edge of the table within easy reach, before taking one of the smaller ones and starting to slit his kill's throat down towards the stomach.]

[sacred_flamer]

[...wow that was a lot of... blood... oh...]

[...hurk; don't get sick, Luke. Don't get sick...]

[bloodyashes]

[If you think that's bad, Luke, you're definitely going to puke by the time he gets to clearing out the ribcage.

Asch sighs slightly in Luke's direction before going back to peeling apart muscle and skin.]

Don't tell me you expected this to be pretty.

[sacred_flamer]

I-I didn't... but...

[...oh... so that's how... skin came... apart...]

[...]

[Yeah, no. Be right back, finding a puke bin ASAP.]

[bloodyashes]

[Aww but he didn't even get the shoulder joint taken apart yet -

By the time Luke comes back, there's a small pile of meat set aside - muscles from the neck that are worth eating - and Asch is working on peeling the skin from a leg.]

If you're not going to be able to help, you may as well find a chair and sit down.

[sacred_flamer]

[Luke immediately spun around when he saw what Asch was doing, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to think of happy fluffy cheagles prancing about.]

S-sorry...

[He plunked himself down on a chair.]

...no wonder Guy would never let me watch him hunt.

[bloodyashes]

[You can close your eyes, but that won't do much for the sound of bones going into the bin, or the wet noise of meat being cut from the shoulder muscles.]

You can wear my cloak if you want.

[Since he's hardly using it. Another leg bone to the bin.]

[sacred_flamer]

You sure?

[He... almost glanced back, but thought better of it when he heard bone hit plastic.]

[bloodyashes]

Well, I'm not using it.

[Houston, we have arrived at the ribcage. Asch sets the small skinning knife aside and instead picks up one that looks more like a saw. The flap of skin he's already cleaned is folded back and aside.

Luke you really do not want to look right now, unless you want to watch your original literally cutting out something's heart.]

[sacred_flamer]

[Yeah, no; not going to look now, m'kay?]

O-okay...

[He'll just... shuffle over and try and find that coat...]

[bloodyashes]

[Can't be that hard to find, it's hanging right next to your coat.

And that noise? Yeah, that's cartilage being sawed through. And the wet plop is a lung into the bin.

Really, he should saw through the neck while he's got this here...]

[sacred_flamer]

[...yeah, okay, just grabbing both coats, and wrapping his around his ears.]

[bloodyashes]

[But if you do that, then he'll have to give you a headache to get your attention. Is that what you want, Luke.

Ribs -> bin. The other lung -> bin. He's seriously considering making you look at the heart, though.]

It wouldn't hurt you to learn a bit of anatomy, you know.

[Deer aren't that different from people.]

[sacred_flamer]

M-maybe some other time…

[Oh dear sweet Lorelei that sounds hideous why are you drawing this out so much Asch he doesn't have anything left to throw up.]

[bloodyashes]

[He's really not. Salvaging both the hide and the meat from two deer is quite a job. Whoops there go a couple more organs. And a sternum.

Ugh, but he's not looking forward to hands full of intestines. Intestines are not fun.]

I'm surprised you're still this upset by it.

[...Does he want to bother cleaning the hide from the skull. Signs point to no. Also the eye holes would probably bug Luke out forever.]

[sacred_flamer]

...I don't know if I ever will.

[His voice was soft, almost like he was afraid to admit that.]