[CLOSED] Maybe some day I'll walk away and say "you disappoint me"

[disgracedvoid]

Characters: Darkleer & Signless
Setting: Floor 45.
Format: Action.
Summary: Post-event fallout: Darkleer and Signless have things to talk about.
Warnings: FEELINGS.

[Darkleer found the observation floor to be rather conductive to thinking. And oh, he had much to think about. Waking up with the horrifying memories of the past week did not put him in a particularly good mood. Normally he'd rather go to the workshop and tinker away with something - Tinkerer - but rather than indulge in that, he decided instead to stand by the glass, watching the grotesque creatures crawl about, trying in vain to intimidate him.

He stood by a corner, somewhat out of sight from the staircase, clad in robes rather than armor for once, arms folded behind his back. He was too tense to slouch, standing at full height, back rigid.]

Comments

[disgracedvoid]

[You're not gonna win this... silence... glaring... contest... thing they're in now. You will not! You cannot out-silence a Zahhak, Signless. You just bloody can't.]

[iron_infidel]

[He will try and just so that he isn't entirely bored, the drumming of his fingers begins along the arm of the chair.]

[disgracedvoid]

[His jaw is clenching and slowly reaching terminal levels. The muscles there flex slight as he tries to relieve the pressure before he cracks a tooth. Or all of them.]

[iron_infidel]

[He turns his head to glance at him, a slight wave of concern flashes across his gaze.]

Do not strain yourself.

[disgracedvoid]

[Dryly.]

I have no idea why you would assume such a thing.

[Except for the fact you're the one pissing him off.]

[iron_infidel]

[He snorts in disapproval at his tone.]

You are...stiff, tense and causing that twitch in your neck to be down right rapid.

[disgracedvoid]

[...oh screw it.]

Am I? I wonder why that is.

[iron_infidel]

Because you are irked by my constant silence and yet you know why that is, yet you do nothing but wallow in your own frustration when we can simply address the issue and be done with it.

[Now they were getting somewhere. Possibly.]

[disgracedvoid]

Irked is perhaps too kind a word, for what you're currently doing to my patience.

[Another twitch.]

You wished to talk, then talk. But I'm loosing whatever foolish incentive I had, to even listen in the first place.

[iron_infidel]

We are bickering like grubs, going around in a constant circle of doubt, hidden truths and mouth vomit. Nothing is to appealing or worth listening to. Silence is not going to work so I guess talking is the only option. Perhaps I should just come out right and say it.

[Pause.]

It is obvious what I wish to address. The talk and questionable emotional content that came with the trick the tower played upon us not to long ago. I mentioned much of my life to you, that I would not have done normally. It is nothing short of concerning to know that I chose to do such a thing on sheer slip of will. I would never consider letting you into my world or dropping details so easily. I want to know why that is. It is confusing and concerning all in one instance.

[disgracedvoid]

...if you come to me, expecting a reasonable explanation for what happened last week, I'm afraid I don't have one.

[His tone is very measured and very level, and that should be a very loud wailing alarm.]

I don't know what do you want of me, beyond the obvious course of action.

[You know, ignoring the problem until it goes away! 8D]

[iron_infidel]

[He sighs.]

I know that you cannot provide an answer. I only wish to ask why you acted the way you did? I did not know that we were that close or that you cared enough to actually come and comfort me in a time of need.

[disgracedvoid]

We are not.

[His tone is curt, impersonal, but it still sounds like he's trying to convince himself more than him.]

But then, the illusion of time wished to convince us we were.

[iron_infidel]

So, such emotions and feelings that had overcome us where nothing but a lie. This is what you mean to tell me?

[His gaze is stern as he crosses his.]

[disgracedvoid]

If they were founded on illusion, then I am hard pressed to believe they are anything other than illusion.

[iron_infidel]

But, if we believed that we are older, then the emotion still stands to present when the future comes. I do not think I can sit here and deny what happened and I also refuse to ignore the event.

[disgracedvoid]

...You are missing the importance of the illusion, if you think that way.

[iron_infidel]

Then...I guess there is truly nothing to talk about.

[He sounds...upset.]

[disgracedvoid]

[...fuck you, that's hitting below the belt.]

What did you expect me to say, in all honesty? I do not despise you, that much is true. To ensure your continued survival is a vow I will continue to uphold, though the particulars of which as well as my reasons for it are none of your bloody business.

[...whoa there, getting angry. That's. That's not a good thing. Let him just hiss air through his teeth a few times.]

But what was said and felt is something else entirely. I will own up to my outrageous behavior, but it is not an excuse when I say that wasn't me.

[It's just who he could be and that's what's terrifying, really.]

[iron_infidel]

I honestly have no idea what I was expecting you to say, being that our actions were quite pale. I did not know if we would speak of them or completely come to ignore them. Even if it is none of my business I can't help but be curious about why you want to protect me when your very order were the exact opposite back on our home planet.

[It seems he was willing to speak again.]

Outrageous behavior it was not, or at least in my own opinion.

[disgracedvoid]

Your opinion and mine are vastly different, then. Even the weight of a few centuries should not have been enough to justify such behavior.

[But they were. And that's what's freaking him out. He remembers liking you, Signless. Actual, legit liking you. As a friend. He hasn't had a friend in eons. Liking you enough to paleflirt and mean it, a little. You made him laugh, you little shit.]

I'm sure you will able to live on with your curiosity unsated. As for the rest, beyond offering apologies for it, I do not know what else you wished to speak about what's been done.

[iron_infidel]

It was justifiable. What you felt was true.

[Ugh he's starting to sound like some wrigglers fantasy novel.]

My curiosity will forever continue on and the lack of knowledge will eventually catch up, then I will be sure to perish. Then again not sure if that is of any concern to you, I'm not sure how you can protect me from my own curiosity.

[disgracedvoid]

[...a little too dryly. You can't tell but he's bordering on hysterical WTF here.]

Despite evidence to the contrary, you are not a purrbeast, K-Signless.

[You did not notice that.]

Curiosity will not kill you.

[iron_infidel]

[His ears twitch at that, did he really just...?]

Pardon Horuss did you wish to repeat that?

[disgracedvoid]

No.

[Glowering. ...hey, on the upside, you're getting him to show actual emotion!]