Suzaku Kururugi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
swordofzero) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-02-05 07:31 pm
swordofzero) wrote in towerofanimus2013-02-05 07:31 pm
[Open]
Characters: Suzaku and open
Setting: Floor 95 (ball pit), floor 48 (graveyard) and floor 96 (white room)
Format: I'll follow you
Summary: Suzaku has a new job yay for him. He then tries to deal with emotions and fails
Warnings: Angst, bodies, trauma, self destructiveness
[Floor 95] Suzaku had seen plenty of corpses before, caused a few of them to be dead in the first place... caused a lot of them to die...
It wasn't even the first time he had been put to work dragging dead bodies from where they fell, there had been that awful battle after all... the days after Narita had been long ones of dragging bodies from underneath the fallen mountain.
But this was different, the gaudy colourful balls that fell in waterfalls around him only made the job more grim, more crushing.
He had been a soldier so long, had killed so many people. He should be used to it now, but he still mourned each body he pulled up. He didn't even know if they were all residents of the tower or just bodies that had always been there.
He stood on the edge of the stair case and took a deep breath before diving in again.
[Floor 48] Suzaku usually avoided this floor, the rows of graves, empty but the effect on those left behind as painful as if each of them was occupied.
He found the one he was searching for quickly enough and stared at it. Minato Arisato He simply stood there for a moment before bending to place a bullet shattered pocket watch in the grass and flowers growing around it.
"I'm sorry. For everything."
He turned and left the floor, not looking back.
Floor 96 The first time he had been here he had found it strange, the fuzziness in his mind not fading until he was well away from the floor.
But he went back, because sometimes it was best to forget, to not have to replay Diarmuid's words back to him, forget how happy Rolo had looked in the future, forget everything.
He never stayed more than a few hours at first, but soon it got addictive.
Setting: Floor 95 (ball pit), floor 48 (graveyard) and floor 96 (white room)
Format: I'll follow you
Summary: Suzaku has a new job yay for him. He then tries to deal with emotions and fails
Warnings: Angst, bodies, trauma, self destructiveness
[Floor 95] Suzaku had seen plenty of corpses before, caused a few of them to be dead in the first place... caused a lot of them to die...
It wasn't even the first time he had been put to work dragging dead bodies from where they fell, there had been that awful battle after all... the days after Narita had been long ones of dragging bodies from underneath the fallen mountain.
But this was different, the gaudy colourful balls that fell in waterfalls around him only made the job more grim, more crushing.
He had been a soldier so long, had killed so many people. He should be used to it now, but he still mourned each body he pulled up. He didn't even know if they were all residents of the tower or just bodies that had always been there.
He stood on the edge of the stair case and took a deep breath before diving in again.
[Floor 48] Suzaku usually avoided this floor, the rows of graves, empty but the effect on those left behind as painful as if each of them was occupied.
He found the one he was searching for quickly enough and stared at it. Minato Arisato He simply stood there for a moment before bending to place a bullet shattered pocket watch in the grass and flowers growing around it.
"I'm sorry. For everything."
He turned and left the floor, not looking back.
Floor 96 The first time he had been here he had found it strange, the fuzziness in his mind not fading until he was well away from the floor.
But he went back, because sometimes it was best to forget, to not have to replay Diarmuid's words back to him, forget how happy Rolo had looked in the future, forget everything.
He never stayed more than a few hours at first, but soon it got addictive.
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He glanced away. "A... future that I can choose... But how do I know if I'll make the right choice?"
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These are things he doesn't really understand himself, and isn't too sure how to explain them to Rolo. "You found someone who you married, that's a different love then that of a brother, and a different love than that of a friend." He frowned remembering all he could from what the Rolo of the future had told him.
"Even though you and Lelouch weren't so close... I don't doubt you would have helped him had he needed it."
He shrugged at the last, "I don't think I'm qualified to answer that." Have you seen his life choices Rolo?
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What does he had to do to be acknowledged? To be loved? Was throwing his life away for Lelouch not enough? Was obeying every order he was given not enough?
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And now they were and Suzaku was still his knight, even if they weren't exactly friends...
"I think that... Lelouch sees everyone like that," Except Nunnally but she was different, "It's just the way he sees people. But he does care, he cares a lot he just doesn't show it."
He paused again, "But that's when it becomes your choice... He's never going to be the brother you want, but you will be able to find love elsewhere, like the vision of the future, and that doesn't mean you have to stop caring for Lelouch, it doesn't even mean you grow apart, it could be a different future altogether... I don't really trust our captors to give us accurate portrayals of the future..."
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He thought about it for a long while. "A different future together... I'll really be able to find someone who'll love me?"
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He nodded, "I believe you will."
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He watches Suzaku for a long while before attempting a little smile. "... thank you."
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Somehow he wanted to believe that.
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For all three of their sakes.
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