[OPEN] The cake is a lie

[chronomancer]

Characters: Jade!Eridan and YOU!
Setting: Cafeteria's kitchen.
Format: Action.
Summary: ...in which Eridan tries his hand at the arcane, mystic majicks of baking for the sake of his matesprit. It goes as well as you'd expect.
Warnings: FLOUR. FLOUR AND BUTTER EVERYWHERE.

[...well. That sure just happened.

Eridan blinks slowly, as the cloud of white slowly descends onto the floor. He'd never known bags of flour were even explosive. Like. Okay. Maybe he'd tugged a little too hard. Maybe. But that's not a good enough reason for it to explode on his face. The recipe he was working off from didn't say anything about exploding bags of flour.

He just stands there for a moment, W E L P all but written all over his face. Somehow, he thinks, this little project might turn out to be a little more complicated than anticipated.]
 

Comments

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[She was pointedly not doing that, and instead was sliding down against the door frame, continuing to laugh her ass off.]

Fuck bro, I didn't know you were pursuing an image makeover as a clown or a prostitute, I would've found you some lipstick from my roomie if you were--!

[chronomancer]

Oh, haha. Hysterical, Strider. Hysterical.

[Excuse him while he blushes a little and kind of just. Ducks his head in embarrassment.]

You've found me out. I've discovered my calling as a juggalo hooker. I expect you to support me in this new, exciting road.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[Yeah at this point she was just kind of lying in the frame between the doorway's sides like the slob with a sloughing problem like she was.]

So how's Gamzee as a co-worker?

[chronomancer]

[Such a slob! He loves her anyway. Eridan snorts.]

While the idea in itself is hilarious, I don't think it'd be profitable. What with him murdering everyone and all.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Hey, some people would pay good money for a juggalo hooker assassin. Sounds like the next big Hollywood hit to me: The Motherfuckin' Miracle Murderer. With his sidekick, Green Greaser McGee.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan flicks flour at Jade, sulking.]

For the last time, I'm not a greaser.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[She put her arms up in a feeble attempt to block the flour, but it being what it was, it still basically got all over her glasses and shirt.]

Have you considered a change in hairstyle, then? It's very rude to be so misleading.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan is unimpressed by your antics, Strider. Unimpressed. He huffs to show how much.]

Fuck right off the room, Strider, my hair is perfect.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[She finally lifted herself from off the ground and hopped back up to her feet.]

See, it's that kind of foolish pride that is just gonna keep perpetuating this kind of problem. You are a living monument to ignorance.

[chronomancer]

You're a living monument to my propensity to love short, squishy aliens with obvious hair envy problems.

[Deadpan, so deadpan.]

I keep telling you, dying your hair might solve the problem.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[SHE'S IGNORING THE SHORT COMMENT.]

Excuse you, but what the fuck is wrong with my hair? At least I don't get mistakenly affiliated with the wrong cultural group.

[Ignoring the fact that it's getting long and messy enough she probably needs a haircut.]

[chronomancer]

Honestly?

[And then Eridan shifted human stereotype to dip uncomfortably close to "sassy gay friend".]

The rat nest look ain't in anymore, Jade.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[She would make sure to take a moment to laugh about that later.]

Rat nest?! [Can you feel the subtle indignation?] Do you even know what a rat nest is??