[OPEN] The cake is a lie

[chronomancer]

Characters: Jade!Eridan and YOU!
Setting: Cafeteria's kitchen.
Format: Action.
Summary: ...in which Eridan tries his hand at the arcane, mystic majicks of baking for the sake of his matesprit. It goes as well as you'd expect.
Warnings: FLOUR. FLOUR AND BUTTER EVERYWHERE.

[...well. That sure just happened.

Eridan blinks slowly, as the cloud of white slowly descends onto the floor. He'd never known bags of flour were even explosive. Like. Okay. Maybe he'd tugged a little too hard. Maybe. But that's not a good enough reason for it to explode on his face. The recipe he was working off from didn't say anything about exploding bags of flour.

He just stands there for a moment, W E L P all but written all over his face. Somehow, he thinks, this little project might turn out to be a little more complicated than anticipated.]
 

Comments

[terreifying]

[Rei just has to stop and stare for a second at how Eridan is all covered in flour. Then, she places a hand in front of her mouth and snickers.]

...I think flour goes in a bowl, right? Unless you wanna dress up as a ghost.

[chronomancer]

[And then Rei gets an embarrassed glare for her efforts.]

...I know that.

[Huff huff. BAKING IS HARD, OKAY.]

[terreifying]

[She cocks her head, curious.]

What'cha making? Biscuits? A pie? A cake?

[chronomancer]

A mess.

[Eridan lets out a loud sigh, shoulders slumping.]

But ideally, cookies.

[terreifying]

Let me help then. I just baked cookies the other day.

[She couldn't popcorn.gif at the wank storm, so she cookie.giffed instead.]

[chronomancer]

...I'd like that.

[There's a pause.]

Only...

[He fidgets a little. Yeah, hard to see the troll that mercykilled you now, is it, Rei?]

[terreifying]

Is there some sort of problem?

[She scratches her head.]

Oh, are the cookies for someone you reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally like then?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[And at the opening of the kitchen was a current Strider currently laughing her ass off at Eridan's current misfortune. Not what she expected to be doing today, but who cares!

Hey, at least she's not moping around her room like a hermit.]

[chronomancer]

Oh shut up.

[He scoffs, trying - and failing - to look suitably indignant about her laughter. It doesn't work. Firstly, because he's covered in flour. Secondly, because it's Jade and she's laughing and it's not very long before he's chuckling along, however reluctantly.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[She was pointedly not doing that, and instead was sliding down against the door frame, continuing to laugh her ass off.]

Fuck bro, I didn't know you were pursuing an image makeover as a clown or a prostitute, I would've found you some lipstick from my roomie if you were--!

[chronomancer]

Oh, haha. Hysterical, Strider. Hysterical.

[Excuse him while he blushes a little and kind of just. Ducks his head in embarrassment.]

You've found me out. I've discovered my calling as a juggalo hooker. I expect you to support me in this new, exciting road.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[Yeah at this point she was just kind of lying in the frame between the doorway's sides like the slob with a sloughing problem like she was.]

So how's Gamzee as a co-worker?

[chronomancer]

[Such a slob! He loves her anyway. Eridan snorts.]

While the idea in itself is hilarious, I don't think it'd be profitable. What with him murdering everyone and all.

[ghostytrainer]

[John arrives in the kitchen with his Litwick at his side, with basically the exact same thought as Eridan in mind. Though...he does at least have a little more experience in baking. That being said, he can't help but crack up a little when he sees the floursplosion before him.]

[Though he is at least trying to contro-- nope he's laughing.]

Pf-fff...hehehe. You know Halloween is still like eight months away, right?

[chronomancer]

[Have a glare, John. And a huff. Even if he's blushing slightly, the deadpan remains unwavering.]

Oh wow, John, you've certainly enlightened me. How could I ever thank you for such poignant, pertinent insight of yours? Clearly, you have completely changed my life.

[ghostytrainer]

Happy to help.

[A salute! Complete with sticking his tongue out because that's totally what you do when you salute, right?]

No, but okay seriously what happened in here, man?

[chronomancer]

[Eridan snorts very loudly, clearly amused at John's antics. He sighs a little.]

Let's just say baking is more of a war than anticipated, and the flour just went kamikaze on me.

[ghostytrainer]

[He aims to make people laugh. Laughing is good for you, after all! And he's pretty good at it, even if he's not actually trying to be.]

[...honestly, especially if he's not trying to be.]

Ahhh, yes. That dangerous battleground that is the kitchen. [He chuckles.] It can eat new recruits alive if they aren't careful. If you want though, I can give you a few pointers. I don't know about the Egbert in your universe but in my universe, we are are always on the winning side of the baking war.

[chronomancer]

...oh god, please.

[Eridan might usually try to avoid asking for help but he's pretty damn outclassed here and he's not even doing this for himself so, yeah. The look of muted desperation he gives John proves he's certainly on the losing side of this baking war.]

[tohko_amano]

[Tohko sometimes wandered into the cafeteria for normal food, in order to keep up appearances, but she didn't think she'd see someone else mess up badly while cooking again while she was here.]

Hey, are you okay? Need any help?

[chronomancer]

...I need to know if that was supposed to happen because I'm pretty sure it wasn't.

[tohko_amano]

No, it wasn't. It's not normal for flour to just explode like that.

[Tohko started ripping out a few paper towels, wetting them, and cleaning up the mess on the floor.]

You should probably hop into a tub or a pool. That would help wash it off.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan reaches out to stop her.]

Oh god, please, don't. I'll clean it up myself, don't worry.

[Wow, no. Okay, not letting other people clean up after his crap, that's not okay.]

[tohko_amano]

[Tohko just smiled as she kept cleaning.]

Oh, don't worry! I've done this before, and it's no trouble at all! Really, don't worry about it. Just go clean up, alright?

[chronomancer]

It's okay, I'll clean up.

[Said Eridan from the doorway, waving at both Tohko and his flour'd self. The Eridans shared a look before the floured one shrugged and quietly left the room, intent on cleaning up. Eridan side stepped him and offered Tohko a small smile.]

It's not fair for you to clean up my mess.

[...welcome to the beautiful world of Weird Time Shit, Tohko.]