Against the brain's better judgment...

[warriorscribe]

Characters: Enoch and anyone (except for one where it's closed to Lucifel and maybe his roommates too)
Setting: Outside room 1-12(closed to Lucifel and maybe his roommates), Floor 2, various
Format: I'm starting in prose but I'll match!
Summary: Enoch has something to give his guardian, and then it's time for his collar checkup. And he'd been promised to have memories returned to him re: his little hiatus trip.
Warnings: Repressed memories are repressed for a reason. Maybe mentions of death, trauma, mention of suicide attempt

Dorm Floor 1

Enoch had returned here after a visit to the mail room, where he'd found two boxes of chocolate, one of them for Lucifel. Tohko sure did take easily to people...he supposed he should be glad for that much, the last thing he wanted was tension between his friends. He stopped outside the room with Lucifel's name on its plate and knocked on the door, hoping Lucifel had slept late too. He'd been either nearly missing or completely missing breakfast, himself, ever since going to Meridian...

...oh, that reminded him, he'd have to go to the infirmary for his collar checkup after this.


Infirmary

The drones had to push him out of the room. Enoch wandered back out into the waiting room, his arms folded tightly. He shook as he picked through the now perfectly clear memories. Of waking beside a corpse. Of wandering under a vileness-red sky, and burying Asato, burying Sissel, burying Ashraf and Michael, and his collapse thereafter, his empty plea to the second level, burying Armaros in the sea(and trying and failing to join him), and the moment it really dawned on him - he was utterly alone. Isolated.

He made his shaky way back to the stairs, nearly running into things and people on his way there. He didn't know where he was going, but he couldn't stand still.

Anywhere else

The tower was much larger now, but Enoch was making his aimless way up the stairs anyway. Not even his usual resting floors, the eleventh and twenty fifth, were stops. He kept his head down, his face tear-stained.

He had forgotten them for a reason. It was intensely painful, recalling those moments of discovering corpses that should not be, interring an immortal's corpse in the sea. They, especially Armaros, they were never meant to leave him, Meridian was supposed to be safe, he had been trying to keep it so. And that soul-rending pain of being utterly isolated, having no one, mortal or otherwise...

...But he had wanted to remember for a reason, hadn't he? He paused where he was on the stairs to the eighteenth floor and looked out at the tables as if he'd never seen them before. So what was important about it that he'd forgotten?

He continued to climb and reflect. And, naturally, not watch where he was going.

Comments

[warriorscribe]

Enoch sucked in a breath through his teeth, stumbling over the stairs and coming to a stop as he righted himself.

"...Yes. Except I woke beside a skeleton."

((*tact))

Gah..thanks for catching that. ><; This is more evidence that I shouldn't tag on little sleep.

[godheals]

"Are you alright?"

..Raphael meant physically, obviously. He tried to help Enoch right himself as he replied.

"..Armaros's skeleton?"

No prob ^^

[warriorscribe]

"Yes..."

That was an answer to both. Enoch may be leaning on Raphael a little more than he needs to to stand up.

"...It...There was a place for the tail on his spine. That's how I knew..."

[godheals]

Not that Raphael would mind. It wasn't like he was weak physically, and if Enoch could be helped and healed by leaning, then he would allow it. Rapahel patted Enoch on the back before speaking again.

"I see...I am so sorry to hear that, Enoch. Losing a good friend again like that must have been horrible."

[warriorscribe]

"He wasn't...it was to last this time..."

For the moment, he seemed completely lost in his own thoughts.

[godheals]

"Enoch..if we come from different points on the timeline, then perhaps there are also other copies of our world. It is possible..that a different Armaros might come here."

[warriorscribe]

....Raphael, did you really think that was helpful? Enoch just looks at him, features still drawn and pale, but a hint of something in his eyes, different and hard to read.

[godheals]

...It could have been a small comfort!

While Raphael couldn't quite read what Enoch held in his eyes, he did get the feeling that what he had said hadn't been particularly comforting.

So he thought it out..realized something..and tried again.

"..Of course..it will not be the Armaros you knew and loved. I am sorry, Enoch."

[warriorscribe]

Enoch made a small noise of appreciation at the attempt. He simply wasn't in a state to deal with the angelic stunted empathy with as much patience as he normally had.

Nothing changed the fact that he was gone. Even another Armaros from Meridian...would just be from another Meridian.

[godheals]

And, sadly, Raphael now saw that, even if he hadn't gotten it at first. However..he wasn't quite sure how one comforted someone in this situation. But..he would try.

"..I shall be here, as always, if you need me."

[warriorscribe]

He did need people. People he wanted to see, like Raphael. But how could they help...? Well, not in any active way on their part.

"Could you walk with me a while?"

[godheals]

Raphael nodded.

"I will."

He could do that much, at least.

[warriorscribe]

"I asked for this...because I felt I had forgotten something important..."

Enoch climbed the staircase, making sure he was keeping pace with Raphael. It was comforting, having one of his companions beside him.

Though...didn't that sound familiar, somehow?

[godheals]

Raphael didn't have any trouble keeping pace with Enoch. He may not have been a fighter, but that didn't mean he was weak.

"..What had you forgotten? Or do you still not know?"

[warriorscribe]

"I...I had forgotten so much of it, I don't...it's so painful to think about...I don't know what was important..."

Raphael wouldn't have to move too quickly considering Enoch kept stumbling over the steps or pausing so he didn't do so.

[godheals]

When Enoch stumbled, Raphael tried to help so that the man wouldn't fall.

"Enoch..if it is painful to think about, then calm down and do not think about it right now. It..may be best to wait for awhile until you are calmer to deal with this."

[warriorscribe]

"And if I forget again?" He needed to think through it. He needed to figure out what was important before he pushed it away again...

...if he could push it away. He never asked if Jason would make it impossible to forget...

[godheals]

"I do not think you will..but if you are afraid of forgetting it again, perhaps you could write it down for the future."

[warriorscribe]

Writing it down... Just trying to gather his thoughts like he was trying to write it was painful...

...But he had to explore it somehow. He had to know what it was that was so important, otherwise this pain would be worth nothing...

[godheals]

While Enoch said nothing, it looked like he was still in quite a bit of pain. Raphael thought for a moment.

...To write about something, you would have to recall everything that had happened and try to make sense of it. If Enoch couldn't think about what he had seen well enough to tell him much of it, how could he expect Enoch to write about it for later?

It was a good idea..but..perhaps it would take some time for Enoch to calm down enough to write of it. Not quite sure what else to say, Raphael put a hand on his friend's shoulder.

Back when they had first reunited, a hug seemed to have helped him..maybe bodily contact like this would sooth him, even now.

[warriorscribe]

Enoch raised his hand to cover Raphael's.

"You're right...I must tell the story to understand it..."

[godheals]

..It was good that his idea seemed to work.

"..You do not have to tell it to anyone, if you wish. But it is like recording things in Heaven. Writing them down for the future may help you understand it later, even if you do not look at it for awhile."

[warriorscribe]

But that brought it back to the fact that he was not mentally coherent enough to write. He did remember what a mess he'd made of the one Meridian entry where he did not stop to try to gather his thoughts and just wrote in a panic after all.

Enoch just sighed and walked with Raphael's hand on his shoulder for as long as the angel would keep it there. He did have to gather his thoughts. Somehow.

[godheals]

Sadly, Raphael did not know of that time, and nor did he have much previous experience to help Enoch deal with this.

But..he would try.

Raphael kept walking alongside Enoch and kept his hand on Enoch's shoulder. He wasn't much of a talker in these situations..but if Enoch had something to say, needed to talk..he would be here.

[warriorscribe]

"Everything was exactly as I'd left it..." Enoch's voice was quiet, distracted.