towerofanimus | Never got to thank him

Entry tags:

Never got to thank him

Characters: Enoch and anyone (attn: a certain other two who received a certain thing)
Setting: Various places throughout the day
Format: I'm starting in prose but I'll match you.
Summary: Enoch has never dealt well with loss...
Warnings: I don't know if grief counts as a warning. Gory details may be brought up in comments?

Room 3-18, 5am

Enoch has been awake all night, kneeling in front of his trunk. How does one sleep after something like that? He's been trying to leave his roommates undisturbed as much as he could, weeping quietly if he couldn't hold it in, occasionally raising his face to the ceiling, mouth open in a silent scream of anguish and despair.

He has three feedback forms in front of him on the trunk, and he's been scratching at one of them the entire time. He had to reach out to those who wouldn't know what it's like, the pain of loss...but he ended up putting more thought into it than he believed he ever would.

When he gets up and leaves the room an hour later, it's with only one of them in hand.

Mailroom(F78), 7am

He checks it every morning, even though there's rarely anything in it. Having a routine helps in a place like this.

But he wasn't expecting what he found in his. He reads the letter he's recieved three times before carefully folding it and putting it in his pocket. He leans on the wall of boxes, rubbing an eye puffy and dark from crying and lack of sleep.

Burn his last words...? He understood, but... He sank down to the floor, a fresh wave of grief bringing tears to eyes he thought he'd cried dry earlier that morning.

Sauna(F77), 7:30am

And what should he notice immediately downstairs but something that seemed out of place to him somehow. It took some moments, punctuated with sniffs to keep himself from crying again, before he looked around and realized where he'd seen it - or where he hadn't.

"I'm sorry..." he says to the first resident he sees, his voice hoarse. "What is this level meant to be?"

Cafeteria(F1), 12:30pm

Enoch seems to have finally found sleep. There's a bowl of tomato soup that seems as if only a quarter of it has been eaten, and Enoch has passed out face-down beside it, spoon still clasped loosely in the hand that hangs at his side. The ends of some of his hair on that side have dipped into the bowl.

Outdoor Forest(F32), 4:30pm

If you saw him in the cafeteria, it's clear he didn't sleep long, considering he's up here now. He's wrapped up in his cloak, standing before a fire. It's a small fire, kindled by whatever he could find; the remnants of a few odd pieces of wood from wherever are visible at the edges of the flame.

He's got that letter out again, and he reads it over and over, mouth moving subtly, but not actually forming the words on the page.

Eventually, he reaches out his hand, and drops the letter into the fire.

Then Enoch kneels, his head bowed and hands clasped, and prays with the intent of being heard for the second time in the tower, for the third time since leaving Earth.

Lord, if you can hear me, if you are alive to hear me, if you have any hold over this world, please see Dax's soul to its rightful place, be it with his ancestors or on to reincarnation, or...elsewhere. If demons should have claim to it, please try to wrest it from them. I am ever your faithful servant. Please answer me, if you can. Please...

He doesn't realize he's shaking and crying until he comes out of this state, and he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, sitting down to watch the flames dance, his face blank and eyes at the meeting point of exhaustion, fear, sorrow, and anger.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Lucifel would be relieved to learn it was just the opposite.

"I need somewhere to think. ...And I need a friend to spend time with."

Both of these were true. He wouldn't lie to Lucifel. There was just something more he wanted to say. Something he couldn't let the cameras pick up.

"Hopefully you won't need long, you can only spend a short amount of time in there."

It's not a no, that much is sure. He'd be willing to listen to everything the other had to say.

"Truly? How long?"

He starts leading the other into the changing room.

"Not more than 15 or 20 minutes." That was the norm for normal humans at least and depending on how used they are to it.

Lucifel follows him to the changing rooms, stretching a little.

Once inside the changing rooms, Enoch turned to him, neither making a move towards his locker nor to undress.

"They have no eyes here."

"Smart move of you."

One hundred points for Enoch and his acting skills. While he had noticed something wasn't quite right he did not expect for the other to come up with this.

It helps that it wasn't acting so much as leaving some things out. Enoch pulls the note he had yet to burn from his pocket and hands it to Lucifel.

"Dax's efforts outlive him. Please return it to me when you're finished reading..."

It didn't take long for him to read the note and hand it back to Enoch.

"... I guess one of those people actually wanted to change something."

Apparently he had been wrong about one of the people who used to lead this place.

"He fought for us from within, as long as he could..."

Enoch read the note again before folding it and stuffing it into his pocket. He headed for one of the changing room benches to sit down, burying his head in his hands.

"Even when some doubted him...doubted he'd ever wanted to save them..." A sigh into his palms, not raising his head in the slightest. "He was a good man..."

Why did the good ones have to be lost...

"It's easy to understand why someone would doubt him. It was too good to be true."

And eventually Dax had been devoured by probably the craziest of those who ruled this place. An unexpected turn of events.

"I had doubted him as well."

But now... something was out of place. The other couldn't tell what, but something wasn't right with him. aside from most of the things that currently weren't right with him.

"It was 'too good to be true' that one man in a group of four had a good heart?" Enoch shook his head, and then looked up at Lucifel.

"...I don't blame you. You hadn't spoken to him or seen him."

And even then, did Lucifel have the intuition to tell him Dax wasn't a liar? ...Probably not.

"In a group of four that keep hundreds of beings in this place and experiment on them. It sounded a bit unbelievable." Well, it had sounded actually more than unbelievable.

"I haven't gotten the chance to make my own opinion of him."

There's always a kind one, even among their own enemies. Even if you didn't count Sariel for his treatment of the Freemen, then there was still Armaros, who seemed to be in contact with them!

"And now no one will... And his work in trying to find a way to restore our worlds..."

"Isn't lost. If those who supported him continue then there is no need to worry, is there?"

Unless Enoch was referring to something else.

"He said everyone wanted to fix it. But...he was the only one who ever spoke of it. ...Maybe we'll find his work along with this information he's hidden..."

He looked down at the bench beside him and back up at Lucifel.

"We will, once the time is right."

Lucifel looked at Enoch, then the empty space next to the scribe, then back at him. Did he want him to take a seat or was he just looking?

He'd like the company, to be honest, but wasn't sure if he should ask it of Lucifel, given the way Lucifel seemed so aloof. But he smiled at him a little shakily and patted the seat beside him. He wanted to sit with him a while.

Apparently he really wanted him to take a seat next to him. Lucifel took the seat he patted and crossed his arms and legs.

Enoch relaxed a bit, leaning towards him a little, though there was still distress in his eyes. The tears were sure to come again at some point today, but for now, everything was calm.

"For an hour...it seemed as if everything would be fine..."

"..."

Lucifel just watched Enoch in silence. It looks like he has to accept that he has to support him by comforting the scribe... this is going to be troublesome for him to learn how to handle this.

Well...someone Enoch had depended on and trusted, the one hope for all of them from the inside, was gone. Had died last night. Enoch wasn't done grieving.

When Lucifel didn't respond, Enoch raised his head to look at him. Not as if expecting a response, just looking to see if there was...

Was what? A reaction? Sorry, but there isn't much of an reaction coming from him. Just because Dax is dead doesn't mean that all hope is lost. Grieving was one thing but that shouldn't drag them down. If they gave up because of one death then it was all lost. As always he has a hard time understanding humans.

"... Say Enoch, if it's just our souls being here, doesn't the same go for those leading this place?"

Enoch shook his head. This much had been clear from the very beginning...

"We are outsiders. They are native."

He wasn't losing (more) hope, or giving up. He was only still grieving.

"And the difference is? There has to be away for them to stick around for such a long time."

Who knew, maybe the soul of Dax was locked up somewhere. It's just a theory at the moment but with what had been revealed in the last few days he wouldn't be surprised if that really is the case.

"The humans here have powers called psionics. Those with strong psionics tend to live for a very long time...Ruana is the strongest, and she is older than a millennium."

A thousand years...it seems impossible, in a way. Their world had barely lived to half that...

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