☿ // point zero

[fionnuisce]

Characters: Waver and open!
Format: I'll try to match.
Summary: Professor Charisma does some exploring. And science. Magic science. i have no self control so wow this got up quick
Warnings: None yet.

[dorm room 3-10]

[Sleep paralysis on its own was enough to put him on edge. Was this some kind of ill-conceived attack with magecraft? No, that wasn't likely--if it was and his would-be opponent had an ounce of sense in their heads, he'd be dead already. In the moments it took him to properly regain his senses, Waver ran through a list of hypothetical causes for this problem...each as unlikely as the last.]

[Finally, he was able to sit up and brush long, disheveled black hair from his face. Now that it occurred to him, Waver couldn't even remember having fallen asleep to begin with. Hadn't he only just been leaving a lecture hall in the Clock Tower? If he'd fainted, this didn't seem like any infirmary they had to his knowledge. As he considered the matter, Waver idly trailed a hand to the back of his own neck and froze. Though the collar's presence disturbed him, he could figure that out later. What caused him to halt in place wasn't the presence of something foreign, but the absence of something familiar.]

That's not possible. It's gone, how the hell can it possibly-- [He muttered under his breath for a second, double checking to be sure whatever it was (likely a necklace of some kind, from how he was acting) had actually gone missing.]

[One might find him shortly after that, rummaging through his trunk with some very determined sense of urgency.]

[floor eighty-one]

[Standing before the windows and looking skyward was one unfazed lecturer in a dark green suit, black hair tied in a long ponytail and sunglasses resting on top of his head. In his hands are a pen and small notebook, and every few minutes he pauses to take something down in chickenscratch handwriting.]

[floor twenty-five]

[Here, said ponytailed and sunglasses-wearing individual seems to be doing something a little strange. Namely, something with a case full of glass vials and liquids that might scream 'mad scientist'.]

[Or 'alchemist', if one knew better.]

[Whatever method he was using, Waver seemed to be analyzing a few specific flowers in the meadow, presumably to determine whether they were magical or supernatural in origin.]

[Judging by the frustrated look on his face? They're probably not.]

[floor three]

[A library; the natural habitat of clever people, especially this one in particular. He examined the shelves with a critical look, a small pile of books on the table nearby. Whatever he's actually looking for, it doesn't seem he's able to find it. He adjusted the sunglasses on his head as though doing so was some odd habit, scowling in faint aggravation.]

[anywhere else]

[Of course, anyone doing this much exploring is bound to run into monsters. Maybe he's on his own, or maybe he stopped to defend someone else. Whatever the case, he shifted into a fighting stance as though it were second nature and immediately moved to take down the enemy before him with swift, precise strikes.]

[When the monster had been taken down and the danger was momentarily avoided, Waver straightened up and did little more than dust off his dark green suit with a completely unfazed look.]

[Yeah. Totally a thing that happens every day, right?]

Comments

[fionnuisce]

...oh, shut up.

[Waver scowled faintly and put an arm around Lancer's shoulders, immediately pulling him into an awkward hug--in part to reassure the knight and to reassure himself that Lancer wasn't just going to vanish like some sick delusion.]

Kayneth was a vindictive, self-absorbed, arrogant idiot, respect for the dead be damned. I can tell you right now he wouldn't know what he was talking about even in his right mind. You're wasting your time putting any stock into what he's said--and believe me, I know.

Maybe you're the original, maybe you're a copy. Who cares? I don't know why you say you're drawn to me; maybe it's because I'm not Kayneth in any sense whatsoever, think about that? Unlike him, I at least actually give a damn about people other than myself.

[Waver ground his teeth together in frustration before merely sighing, leaning his head on Lancer's shoulder.]

Goddamnit you can be stupid sometimes. Why are you worrying about something like that...copy or original, you're still Diarmuid. You're just as real now as I am. Shouldn't that be the last word on it?

[oathshackledbird]

I-I don't know.

[Diarmuid pauses in an effort to steady his own voice and push the helplessness out of it.]

These things... Servants aren't suppose to exist long enough to have to think about them, but here I am having to do exactly that. And after what he did to me...

[He draws in a deep breath and reluctantly steps out of the hug so he can look Waver in the face as he speaks. It's the only way he will be able to make himself say this.]

He made me kill myself in the middle of an honorable duel with Saber so that he could save his own life, even though I have heard since then he still died before the war ended. When I realized what happened, I snapped. I raged at everyone and the world. I curse the Grail...I cursed everyone.

[He shakes his head, but despite the hopelessness in his tone of voice, there is determination in his eyes.]

I'm not a knight anymore. Not after all of that, but that is fine as long as I can find what I am now. That is why I am thinking about things so much, but it's hard. There is so much I don't understand about how the world works now, that it is hard to find a new way to define myself.

[fionnuisce]

...How the hell is that your fault?! No, forget it, even if I tried to convince you you'd blame yourself anyway.

[Frustrated, Waver pressed a hand to his head and collected himself for a moment--otherwise he'd most likely snap in a way they'd both regret.]

Don't do this again, Lancer. Your whole 'I'm not a hero' thing, I mean. Look, even I couldn't deal with Kayneth forever. Somebody like you having to answer to him...I don't blame you for just snapping, least of all after he did something so...so completely unforgivable--

[Another pause. It was all Waver could do to not distract himself fantasizing about breaking several of Kayneth's ribs with his own Mystic Code.]

...You're a knight. My knight, and you always will be. If you want to be something else, fine. But don't you dare start to deny what I know for a fact is true even now; I won't have anyone speak poorly about my Lancer. Especially not speaking of yourself.

[oathshackledbird]

I'm sorry...

[The words slip out before Diarmuid can stop them and as soon as they do, a horrified look enters his eyes. He puts a hand out in front of himself hoping to stave off an angry outburst from the other man.]

I don't mean that....well I do, but I'm trying not to be so...so weak anymore. I'm trying not to blame myself. You aren't the only one to tell me some of this. So many others have said the same thing. It's just so hard. He made me feel like I was nothing. Like I shouldn't even be breathing. I think it's safe to say you know me--know how those things hurt. He stripped away all of my pride and all of my honor. I let it go so I could remain loyal and then he spat on that as well.

[Diarmuid pauses. This train of thought is getting him no where. What had Hidetoshi told him not that long ago? Something about once you recognize the rut, how important it is not to let yourself dig it deeper?

He looks up at Waver, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. To hear someone say he's still a knight and will always be so to them is more the he had ever hoped to hear again. Might that be something he can use to dig himself free?]

Do you really mean that? Even though I am so messed up right now?

[fionnuisce]

...Don't look at me like that. I'm not him, so I'm not going to be angry at you for acting like a normal human.

[Waver sighed; god help Kayneth if he ever appeared here. He'd never killed someone, but damn if it wasn't a tempting concept by now.]

I wouldn't lie, Diarmuid. Least of all to you; if I say you're still my knight, you're still my knight.

[oathshackledbird]

Thank you.

[Diarmuid shuts his eyes for a moment, pushing away and sorting out all of the emotion swirling around inside of him. He doesn't know if there is any way he will ever be able to fully express to Waver how good his words make him fell, but he is going to try. Even if it takes forever he is going to try.]

I will be glad when I can learn to trust again. I really will. I miss it greatly.

[He shakes his head and then in an effort to steer the topic to something more pleasant so he has the chance to finish sorting out his thoughts, he asks a question that has been on his mind ever since he first saw the other man.]

Why the sunglasses?

[fionnuisce]

...You can trust me. I know we basically just met, so that probably sounds crazy. But I'm not going to turn my back on you--least of all now, any idiot can tell you obviously need somebody on your side.

[He reached up at the question, adjusting them what seemed to be automatically.]

These? They were...kind of yours. Couldn't really stand to get rid of them, so I just decided to hold on to them instead. ...Why, do they look stupid or something?

[oathshackledbird]

N-no!

[He's not ignoring Waver's other words so much as he is letting them go for now. If he speaks about how good they make him feel--how they make him feel a confidence he hasn't felt in a long long time--he just might start crying.]

It's just... What do you mean they were mine? Why would I wear such a thing?

[fionnuisce]

Well, you were uneasy about going into Fuyuki in broad daylight normally, so I found these to cover up that mark of yours. They're sure as hell not Mystic Eye Killers, but it seemed like they worked alright.

[oathshackledbird]

Really? Something so simple worked?

[He reaches out almost as if he wants to touch them, but stops himself short.]

I never would have thought of that. Not when so many tried and failed in my day to find a way to deal with it. I don't know how they do it, but here in the tower it is inactive most of the time, though it does activate randomly and without me being able to tell it has until those affected start acting strangely.

[fionnuisce]

[He took them off and held them out, sounding casual.] We were pretty careful--I wouldn't push it, but they worked as a quick temporary fix. You can have them back if you want them.

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid shakes his head, his smile gentle.]

Thank you, but I have the feeling they are worth more to you than me. If the tower wishes my curse to act as it does, it will probably do so with or without the glasses. Otherwise, why let me keep any of its power at all? I have been luck so far. It has only affected two people and they both were able to overcome it in a short amount of time. I have always thought will to have something to do with how strongly a person is affected and from what I have seen here, that is most certainly the case.

[fionnuisce]

Really, that's all? That isn't too bad. [Sounding pleased, Waver put the glasses back on his head--maybe he did look kind of stupid, but whatever.]

I'm glad to hear that much hasn't been too bad for you.

[oathshackledbird]

Yes, I have been lucky in that respect. And others...

[A happy, almost childish look crosses his face.]

Did I ever tell you about my childhood hero? The person who inspired me to become the hero I did?

[fionnuisce]

That's...Cu Chulainn, right? I think we talked about that once.

[oathshackledbird]

Yes, he's here. A version of him anyway. He's even my roommate. I'm not sure how that happened.

[Diarmuid laughs, shaking his head.]

He's not exactly what I expected or what the stories said, but he is still a good man even if he is not doing so well right now.

[Some of the joy disappears off of his face.]

The same random thing that sent Rider home several months ago sent Cu Chulainn's master away from here just about a week ago. He keeps saying that he failed her even when he had no control over the situation. I wish I knew better how to help him.

[Diarmuid looks away with a nervous laugh, as if he has just realized something.]

Wow...that probably sounds familiar to you, right? Someone blaming themselves for something that isn't their fault. Is that a Lancer class skill I'm just not aware of?

[fionnuisce]

Heh...you know, at this rate it just might be. Probably comes packaged with the miserable luck.

[Giving the most reassuring smile he could manage, Waver put a hand on Lancer's shoulder.]

It's good to see you again, Diarmuid.

[oathshackledbird]

And I am glad I have been given the chance to meet you. Truly, I am. I don't know if I can ever express how much comfort your words have brought me.

[He bows his head slightly, not out of shame or any negative feeling, but out of respect.]

I'm sure this goes without saying, but if there is anything I can do for you here, you just need to ask me. I'm in room 4-16 if you need to find me. Often, I'll be out patrolling the floors since I can move through them so quickly, but since I've been trying to sort my head out, I've been taking some time away from that and spending a lot of it in my room or here in the meadow.

[fionnuisce]

Mine's 3-10, I think. But listen, I want to work with you. I'll probably slow you down...so you don't have to accept. And you sure as hell don't have to call me your Master or anything. I'm not worthless in a fight anymore, and if you're patrolling on your own I want to help.

...Actually, I just want to help in general. I really don't like the idea of you this conflicted and upset.

[oathshackledbird]

I would be honored to have you work with me. Somehow, I doubt you were ever worthless. I didn't know the younger you, but the version I knew, even when he was scared, he stood by Rider. He might not have been able to fight, but he was there supporting his servant anyway. And that is true bravery.

If you are willing to stand by me like he stood by Rider, I have every confidence I will eventually become myself again. I think part of the reason I have become so conflicted is because I didn't realize fully what this place was doing to me. Now that I realize there is a problem, I just need people to be there and hit me upside the head when I start being too foolish again.

[He grins at Waver.]

As long as you are willing to do that, I will be glad to have you with me. Well, I'll be glad even if you aren't willing to do that, but I have the feeling you will have no problem setting me straight when I need it.

[fionnuisce]

I'll stand by you through anything, no matter what it takes. And if shoving you back on the right track is what you need, I'll do it.

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid laughs and when he finishes a genuine smile crosses his face.]

Thank you. What do you plan to do now? Do you wish me to leave you to finish your work? I just came from training a friend of mine so I'm not planning on patrolling anytime soon. I was actually just going to stop by here and relax a little.

[fionnuisce]

I think I'm basically done here, really--it doesn't look like I'll find anything. Would you mind if I stayed around here for a while, though?

[oathshackledbird]

Not at all. It's a nice place. A lot of people find comfort here. I could answer some more questions for you or we just just sit and enjoy the floor. There are far too few places like it in this place.

[Honestly, he doesn't care what they do. Diarmuid's just happy Waver wants to spend time with him.]

[fionnuisce]

Doesn't matter to me. ...I usually wouldn't say something this sentimental, but it's been so damn long since I last saw you that I'm hesitant to leave.