1st Lie

[fictionalize]

Characters: Kumagawa and you!
Setting: Various parts of the tower
Format: Any
Summary: BIG HUGE LOSER exploring the tower
Warnings: Screws, random acts of violence, some gore?

[Dormitories]

[First order of business is, of course, putting on his uniform. He can't wear white! It really just doesn't suit him. Even if he's not on the student council anymore and should really wear the normal uniform. Of course, this didn't really look like Hakoniwa Academy...

Plus, the last thing he remembered was having just rescued Shiranui, so this was pretty mysterious. Had he been hit by some kind of style?

Well, whatever! He's going to look for someone to harass. No matter who you are or how busy you look, there's an annoyingly smiley face bothering you]

「Hi, do you have a few moments to fill out a survey for the latest issue of Shounen Jump?」

[Cafeteria]

[Kumagawa is just. Staring at the oatmeal.

Yeah, no. He doesn't want to eat this.

You, who were passing by, gets a tug on your sleeve or other grabbable piece of clothing]

「...I don't suppose I could get the shiyo ramen instead, can I?」

[Floor 75]

[The snowy of the ruins of the castle here look like they've been through a more recent battle: there's blood and ichor everywhere, the bodies of dead monsters all over the place, ranging from the more mundane and even completely harmless to a few that look like they'd be quite dangerous. The most striking feature of the scene is how they were apparently annihilated: everywhere, there are giant screws stuck into everything, drilling through their heads, their guts, armor, carapaces, pinning them to the ground, the trees, even into the walls of the castle.

Investigate?]

Comments

Cafeteria

[koncubine]

Even if you could find something like that, you wouldn't be able to keep it down, you know!

[That is definitely a woman with pink hair and fox ears in a really revealing kimono wandering past Kumagawa's table. Good thing that's totally normal, right? (Except not.)]

Not that there's anything to eat except rations this month.

[She points to the food she's carrying, which is only water and rations. In comparison, Kumagawa's kind of lucky to have hot food.]

[fictionalize]

[Kumagawa manages to look kind of offended at that warning]

「I know I may not look very strong, but don't you think it's kind of rude to tell someone they can't even handle shiyo ramen? It's not like I asked for tonkatsu ramen!」

「Rations?」

[He takes a look... yeah, that looks even worse than what he's eating]

「This has to be the worst service of any resort I've stayed at before. Do you think they spit in this too?」

[Just... stirring the oatmeal, scooping up spoonfuls and letting them fall back into the bowl with a disgusting "gloop" noise...]

[koncubine]

It isn't rude if it's true! ♥

[She laughs.]

There's something in the food here that will make you sick if you don't eat the oatmeal first. Inter-dimensional bacteria are such a hassle, right?

[She raises an eyebrow at him. What a weird guy!]

If this is your idea of a resort, you must not get out much, huh? Or else your idea of a resort is more like "Hotel California".

[fictionalize]

「It sounds more like propaganda to sell oatmeal. Inter-dimensional bacteria sounds like something out of a sci-fi manga!」

[Gloop. Gloop.]

「Well, why else would I have been mysteriously whisked away? Obviously my cute kohai thought I could use a vacation! It's not like I'd be kidnapped by some mysterious organization or something completely unrealistic like that.」

[koncubine]

Hmm, well, I guess if this were a seinen series, that might fit! I don't think this is tasteful enough to be published in any magazine without plastic wrapping over every edition, though.

But really, you will get sick. You can try one of these if you don't believe me!

[Kumagawa, that's gross. 8( She holds out a ration bar to him, betting he won't take it.]

Organization is a bit too nice of a word for the people who grabbed us. "Psychotic cabal" is more accurate, in my opinion!

1/2

[fictionalize]

「Those are way too hard to sell though! I wouldn't want to be in something like that.」

[Nope he's totally taking it and unwrapping it]

「That just sounds even sillier! There's no way something like that would happen.」

[And biting into it... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...]

[fictionalize]

Hurbghlaaaargh...!

[Yup, sure is rather impressively vomiting all over the floor]

[koncubine]

Eugh, that's disgusting! You could have at least done that over a trash can!

[She is stepping away quickly, even though she'd been out of range of the spray. Groooooooss.]

I gave you enough warning for it, too... What a gross and embarrassing guy.

[fictionalize]

「Haa... haa...」

「I guess I can never make a cool statement... like the kind of guy who drinks out of a bottle marked poison, because he knows it's just protein powder...!」

[Coughing, he fitfully wipes off his mouth. Yeah, that was unpleasant.]

「Let's just... pretend that never happened.」

[And suddenly, there's no vomit anywhere. Kumagawa still looks not-so-hot though.]

[koncubine]

You're not in a detective series, you know! You shouldn't try to act so cool here. It's guaranteed to backfire.

[She leans forward, still a few feet back, but looking him in the face, suddenly intrigued.]

Hey, how did you do that? Are you some kind of magic user? It would match your really strange personality, after all. Ah, but don't mistake me. There are lots of normal magicians, but they're usually women. ♥

[Backhanded compliments and insults, all at once. Ouch.]

[fictionalize]

「A magic user? If I can't even be a detective, I'm definitely not cool enough to be one of those either! Besides, that's just way too unrealistic.」

「I'm more of a joker than a magician anyway.」

[koncubine]

You're speaking to the cutest fox woman around in a trans dimensional, death-defying tower of monsters and torture, and magic is the only unrealistic part to you?

[That really makes her laugh.]

A joker with a special power, then. You're good at making me laugh, so I guess you're right there!

[fictionalize]

「...it's not cosplay?」

[Kumagawa chuckles]

「That's not hard. Everyone likes to laugh at those weaker than them.」

[koncubine]

[She flicks her tail towards him and doesn't answer the question. Let him figure that out for himself.]

If you're jumping to that before even knowing how strong I am, I guess you really must be weak! Mentally, anyway.

[fictionalize]

「Of course! You'd have to be pretty amazingly weak to be worse than someone like me. You wouldn't even be a named character.」

[...]

「Actually, what is your name?」

[koncubine]

Are you sure about that? There are lot of people here who are completely ordinary, you know! They couldn't even do that vanishes trick you just did.

[Well, she's not going to argue it too hard if he says so! She doesn't have the motivation to fix his self-esteem.]

You can call me Caster! ♥ And what should I call you, Mr. Weakling?

[fictionalize]

「The fact that they can't just goes to show they're better off than me.」

[He seems pretty cheerful about it, so who knows where self-esteem comes in to play]

「Caster, huh? Does that make you someone with the kind of magic I just denied so readily?」

「You can call me Kumagawa.」

[koncubine]

Hoooh. What an ominous thing to say! But Kumagawa it is, then, I guess.

["Bear river"? What a funny name.]

You're jumping to a conclusion like that, just from a name?

[Well, that's not a yes or a no. She's gonna make him work for a real answer.]

[fictionalize]

「It sounds really cool, like the kind of thing from a video game! So it's either that or 8th grade syndrome! I don't want to think you just had parents with really poor taste in names.」

[koncubine]

Hmm. Not a bad guess! But I'm a grown woman, so don't confuse me with school children! There's no way I have some syndrome like that.

[She shakes her head.]

It's a title. You know, like "princess"!

[It's nothing like princess.]

[fictionalize]

「They call it 8th grade syndrome, but there are definitely highschoolers like that too! I met one recently! She made fun of me. I couldn't beat her. But anyway, I'm sure there could be adults like that too!」

「A title, huh? So it is like a video game character class! Then you really must be good with magic if we pretend that's a real thing! Ah, but then, that means it's not actually your name huh? Unless you're Caster Caster? Ahaha, how embarrassing would that be?」

[koncubine]

Those must be some really strange adults, then... And you lost to one close to your age?

[There is so much judgement in her voice right now.]

Of course it's not my real name! But something like that is for special people only.

[Ohh, ice cold.]

Magic is definitely real. It's not that unbelievable, is it? Humans used to think that sort of thing was everywhere, after all!

[fictionalize]

「It wasn't fair, she had a magical beast Cerberus.」

[Is he... sulking?]

「Ahh, I'm so hurt! Even girls from video games don't want to share their names with me!」

「Humans have all sorts of delusions though! They used to all believe the world was flat as well.」

[koncubine]

A magical beast-wielding weirdo...? That sounds dangerous.

[Wow, he totally looks like he's sulking. she fights a grin and decides to keep messing with him.]

Names are power, after all! And I can't go around sharing my secret identity with just anyone, can I?

[She says it teasingly.]

But magic is real, even if humans are wrong a lot of the time about how it works. After all, I'm here right now because of magic, so I know it's true!

[fictionalize]

「Oh no! Does that mean you're going to use my name against me? Well it's a good thing that's just an alias. My real name's way cooler than that.」

「Are you sure? Maybe you've just been made to believe that. Scientifically, of course. Don't ask me to explain it though; science was always my toughest subject, along with English, Japanese, History, Math and Physical Education!」