you see me now a veteran of a thousand psychic wars;

[egotrigger]

Characters: Allelujah and open.
Setting: Floor 1 (Cafeteria), Floor 46 (flashlight level), Floor 81 (upper lounge), stairs in general.
Format: Whatever works for you.
Summary: Allelujah's… angsting isn't the word for it. He's depressed and disappointed about mindlessly carrying out orders. He's having difficulty coping with it.
Warnings: Mention of body modification/surgery/Jason being a dick. Also standard Hallelujah warning.


[Floor 1]

[Allelujah sits at one of the tables, a few of the nutrition bars in front of him. He has one open and is staring at it. He knows he needs to eat, but he feels sick to his stomach after what happened.]

[he takes a bite, slowly, and tries to keep it down. He won't be able to do anything if he doesn't have something for energy.]



[Floor 46]

[The stairs have vanished for him again. He hates this floor, hates it so much. The whispers and light touches keep making him jerk away, and he tries to control himself. It's no one, no one's there, it's not even Hallelujah…]

[But he's still pale as he reaches the stairs again.]



[Floor 81]

[There aren't many floors he feels comfortable on, but this is one of them. The sight of the stars calms him, makes him feel a little bit closer to home. It's hard to look at them sometimes - they're not his - but at least they're something. He'd like to start naming them, but he's not that creative.]

[He needs them today most of all. He still feels sick, frustrated, disappointed… he'd sworn to himself that he'd do everything he could to not just blindly follow orders, to not lose himself again. Not that he really could be anything but a soldier, but at least he has his own mind. Or did. He didn't even feel anything during that time he was changed… and he managed to change Hallelujah, too.]

[They were nothing but a mindless robot. Their brains were altered, and while he knows that he's been changed back, he can't help but feel terrified at a scientist who can do something like that. The things he'd been through at that facility had been bad enough, but this… this was beyond what he had experienced before.]

[He presses his forehead against the glass, trying to collect his thoughts. He doesn't know what to do. What can he do? It doesn't look like there's any way to kill him… or any of the others. Not when they can control this place so utterly…]



[Stairs]

[As Allelujah climbs the stairs, he's somewhat lost in thought. If there's someone else walking near him, he might not even notice them. That doesn't mean they can't notice him, though.]

Comments

[lightofhumanity]

[And, if he can, chaos will attempt to grab that hand before it can reach his throat.]

You are both weak and strong. For instance, if I were to talk about your painting skills, you might be weak there.

[egotrigger]

[He tries to break chaos' grip, but the man's stronger than he expects.]

Tch... it's not about skills, fucker.

[lightofhumanity]

[chaos was the second strongest being in his universe. Very few things could contend with him. chaos held on tight as he spoke.]

When determining whether you are weak or strong, skills play a part in it sometimes.

[egotrigger]

I'm not a weak person. I can't be. I'm the strong one, the damn protector. I'm made from the things he can't do because his will is too weak. So how the fuck am I weak?

[lightofhumanity]

He cannot kill others because he cares for others and does not wish to see them suffer. Your compassion, among other things, is where you are probably weak.

[egotrigger]

Compassion is useless in war. It only makes you hesitate, and gets you killed.

[lightofhumanity]

Sometimes..but it also makes you not care about the cause or the people you are fighting for.

[egotrigger]

It doesn't matter to a weapon. We're just pointed at a target and sent to carry out a mission.

[lightofhumanity]

Perhaps..but you are more than just a killing machine who sometimes follows orders.

[egotrigger]

Heh. Haha! We've been modified, trained, and conditioned for war. We can't be anything else! To think otherwise is stupid and foolish.

[lightofhumanity]

So you say. But you have free will, and thus, can make a choice whether you really want to keep being in a war..or not.

[egotrigger]

Not really. We got recruited by an organization at home. If he left he'd probably be killed - if not by the organization then probably by anyone who figured out where he was from.

[lightofhumanity]

You could hide who you really are and continue to live..but that might not be the solution you seek.

[egotrigger]

We've tried that. We got noticed anyway. I killed people to keep things quiet, but fucking Celestial Being found us anyway and recruited him.

[lightofhumanity]

I am sorry to hear that..however..perhaps you can make a new life for yourselves here in the Tower.

[egotrigger]

Eh. Maybe. Not much for me to do though.

[lightofhumanity]

Is killing all you currently enjoy?

[egotrigger]

Pretty much. I don't really get to do other shit and I don't really want to do anything but kill shit.

[lightofhumanity]

I see..if given the choice to do more, would you want to?

[egotrigger]

Like what?

[lightofhumanity]

Perhaps swimming or paintball could be a hobby you could take up instead of killing.

[He was half-joking with this.]

[egotrigger]

Swimming's boring. Paintball... heh. Maybe. Not sure if there's the stuff for it here, though.

[lightofhumanity]

Perhaps not. However, there is no harm in checking to see if it is here.

[egotrigger]

Depends what kind of gun you want for it... should be easy enough to make something that fires, at least.

[lightofhumanity]

I am not that good at making weapons, but I do not think it would be that hard for you, or someone experienced if we asked.