OO9 >> caught between two books, squeeze me till I die like a flower you need to dry

[altitonant_emperor]

Characters: Hidetoshi, and the rest of the population of the towerofanimus .
Setting: Floors 1 and 4, the dormitory levels and anywhere else.
Format: Actionspam to begin with. Either is fine by me, but be warned that using prose equates a slower tagging time from me.
Summary: As it is the popular thing to do this week; Hidetoshi's currently dealing with the aftermath of being completely brainwashed during this month's experiment, and like his previous brilliant coping method, decides once again pretend it never happened to him personally in the first place. After he has a small breakdown.
Warnings: Post-experiment angst? Mentions of violence. Oh, and vomiting and crying too.


[ SCENARIO A || DORM LEVELS: SEMI-CLOSED ]

[ After everything is said and done, Hidetoshi is left sitting on the edge of his bed in the dormitory, staring blankly at the wall as he fought to hold his composure together and steadily kept refusing to give cruel, abusive bullies like the administration the satisfaction of witnessing even a single crack in his calm. His mind was his own now and the body his soul resided within had been restored to normal. (No holes, no burning in his fingers and the organs in his torso properly hidden away behind layers of skin once more.) He'd seen the post the blond man had left on the terminals, speaking soberly of spying, subterfuge and dozens of broken confidences at the order of the administration. He'd talked about broken trust and offered apologies.

The collar around his neck was orange again. It wasn't pink.

He calmly stood up from the bed, calmly walked down the hallway at a brisk pace and didn't quite succeed in reaching the public bathroom before a shudder racked his body and he staggered against the wall, leaned over and promptly barfed the contents of his stomach onto the floor in front of him. Hidetoshi sank to his knees, hand still pressed against the wall for balance. After a few minutes' silence, he vomited again though much less came up, and splattered on the floor this time. Some of it got onto his shoes. His shoulders heaved as the teenager curled up, frantically attempting to curb the urge to... to...

Tears. He was crying, Hidetoshi realized shamefully but he couldn't stop.

He wasn't crying because he was sad or hurt or scared. He was crying because he was absolutely revolted by what had occurred to him and others, angry beyond all expressive words, and incapable of changing the entire disgusting situation to the point where it would be impossible to allow it to happen again. That knowledge made it worse. Struggling to withhold the frantic edge from his actions, he angrily wiped away the bothersome tears dripping down his cheeks, and they kept coming despite that weak, dismissive gesture. His head bowed. The slight spasm that racked his body as he crouched there weren't as easily concealed as his face nor were the small, muffled choking sounds that occasionally escaped him.

His hand clamped over his chest, tightly squeezing the fabric of his jacket as if reassuring himself that it was true flesh-and-blood there, that his lungs were whole and unmarred and without a trace of that sickening burning or tar caught in them. Dark gray eyes snapped shut when the teenager recalled that, how violated and ruined by smoke his own lungs had been. Like he'd been inhaling toxins and suffered the price of it. His empty stomach felt like it was considering rebelling again. ]



[ SCENARIO B || FLOOR ONE: CAFETERIA ]

[ Alright, cryingfest was over and done. Reddish eyes aside, there wasn't a reason to mention it to anybody else or acknowledge he had cried at all. He doesn't want to dwell on what happened to many residents, or his own brainwashed stint as a mindless drone. But first, he needed to make some apologies of his own. Luckily, he'd been so focused on his own area that he hadn't been interested in wandering outside of it or in tormenting anybody away from it. Few people had been personally harmed by his hands.

The recollection of enjoying being in he had been convinced was actual control (but ultimately false) of his environment had been refreshed sharply. The vice president of the student council's yearning for order had been warped into a crazed need for the rules to be obeyed at any cost, and with that the urge to punish whomever failed to shape up to said rules, and the ingrained, obsessive loyalty that had permeated his thoughts under that need during the week annoyed him the more he recalled it. The administrators, Hidetoshi decided, were not going to get away with doing that.

To any of them.

Anyway; on the bed in their dormitory room, Hidetoshi had left a letter addressed to Sephiroth. Its contents were short, brisk and deeply apologetic. Inside he expressed his shame over treating the older man in such a demeaning manner and offered his sincere apologies in hope that he would not be despised for his unwilling actions. He had no control over himself during the experiment conducted by the administrator, Jason. And neither had Sephiroth had any say in the matter. He regretted ordered him around like one would an underling. If there is any way he could make it up to him, Sephiroth need not hesitate to ask.

That done and letter delivered, Hidetoshi took the elevator down to the cafeteria. He checked the menu and was unsurprised to see the usual was offered. Those stupid, cardboard-tasting, bland nutrition bars.

What a wretched man Jason was, he thought sourly to himself. ]


[ SCENARIO C || FLOOR FOUR: LOUNGE ]

[ Like many of the distasteful elements of this place, it appeared he would have no choice but simply have to put up with the knowledge that while the main experiment was over, there had definitively been an impact that would last after the rebellion itself. Such as the increase of retrieval units on certain floors, and the change in staff on floor seventy-seven. It was his good fortune that he had no potential as a large threat or a member of the resistance.

After eating in the cafeteria, he'd walked up to one of his favoured floors—the lounge, where there was no immediate threat of maiming via monsters and which had a comfortably sensible layout of couches, sofas, and tables. He wanted sensibility right now. The view could even be called morbidly impressive, if you found looking over an endless sea of dull grey fog stretching out past the horizon to be interesting.

So, whenever somebody walks into the lounge, they'll either find one of the sofas occupied by a grouchy high school student, seemingly absorbed in reading a book as to distract himself from his own thoughts, or catched him in the midst of cleaning up and maintaining his knives which had accumulated dirt and fingerprints. On one of the tables, he had left a couple of nutrient bars snagged from the cafeteria that were bland and tasteless, along with a tidy stack of sprawled notes he was recreating from scratch after the flood had ruined all of his old ones, and a pencil. ]

Comments

A; lemme know if this isn't okay

[fuhgeddaboudit]

Hide...toshi?

[Labrys hadn't spoken to him in some time; after the recent unpleasantness she was trying to get around to check on most if not all of her friends. But to say she would have expected Hidetoshi of all people in this state would have been dead wrong.]

[She reached out with one hand, cautiously brushing metal fingertips against his shoulder.]

Hey...talk t' me. What's goin' on?

A; ah it's fine!

[altitonant_emperor]

[No, is Hidetoshi's immediate thought when he realizes someone is witnessing him in this stupid moment of weakness. No, go away. Go away right now. The teenager keeps his face turned away from the newcomer, not willing to look at Labrys. But he doesn't feel up to brushing off her hand on his shoulder.]

Labrys... ?

[Her? Why now of all times? He draws in a shallow, slightly wet breath and attempts to steady his voice, wincing at the scratchiness in it. Why can't he stop crying? And in front of a peer as well. Shakily, he shakes his head. ] N-nothing. No, it's fine. I'm just...

=3=b

[fuhgeddaboudit]

...it's okay.

[She knew how it felt to be scared and upset. In a place like this Tower, that feeling was unavoidable. So it was up to people like her to help those who needed it. Keep order in a place of utter disorder and chaos.]

You ain't gotta tell me what's wrong. [She stepped a little closer and put her arms around Hidetoshi's shoulders as gently as she could.] But you ain't gotta deal with it alone, either.

[altitonant_emperor]

[She would have to crouch down to do so since he's still curled up on the ground next to the puddle of his own vomit. His shoulders go rigid when her arms around him and gently hugs him. It's a habitual reaction, nothing against the robotic maiden.]

I, ah. This is temporary. I'll be fine soon enough. [Stop crying. Stop crying for god's sake. But he can't. The tears refuse to stop welling up. Hidetoshi still doesn't look at Labrys and after a few seconds, clumsily reaches up to rub tiredly at his face with one hand.] What's wrong? This entire place is wrong, that's... the problem.

C

[alephbet]

What are you reading?

[Watch Aleph be nosy and approach. He doesn't know Hidetoshi particularly well, but they got along last time they met- And nobody really wants to be alone right now, do they?]

[altitonant_emperor]

[Good ol' nosiness. Hidetoshi doesn't really want to reject the chance of company for today, even if he isn't well acquainted with Aleph. He blinks when he approaches and then shows him the cover;]

It's a book of mythology.

[Covers a range of cultures, though not very detailed on the stories themselves. Maybe he could blame looking up the Lancers' legends for his initial mild interest.]

[alephbet]

I've looked at a couple of those. They're pretty useful in my line of work.

[That being demon summoning, of course.]

[altitonant_emperor]

[Hidetoshi lacks the context for that remark to make much sense, baring the one comment Aleph made about fighting two experiments back. Politely;]

Really? How so?

cafeteria

[puppy_lancer]

[Lancer sits down at the table, next to Hidetoshi. Unlike Hidetoshi, he doesn't have eyes red from crying, but he looks tired and his clothing is even more rumpled than it usually would be.]

Hey, kid. You...okay here?

Re: cafeteria

[altitonant_emperor]

[Hidetoshi looks up from glaring grumpily at the nutrition bars in front of him when Lancer sits down. If you didn't pay attention to his reddened eyes, the teenager didn't seem all that ruffled. His mouth's a little too tight however.]

Hello, Lancer-san. Yes, I'm alright. It has simply been a tiring week for us all. [He takes in Lancer's weary state. There's a slow pause.] ... Yourself?

Re: cafeteria

[puppy_lancer]

Fine. Glad that it's all over.

[He places an elbow on the table and cups his chin in his hand.]

Re: cafeteria

[altitonant_emperor]

[Lancer's clothes say otherwise unless he has been tussling with Diarmuid again. Hidetoshi reaches out, grabs a nutrition bar and starts idly breaking it apart.]

I'm glad to hear that. [He nods.] I share that sentiment.

A

[oathshackledbird]

Take a deep breath and come back away from there. The smell will make you sick again.

[Diarmuid voice is soft as is his touch as he lays his hands on Hidetoshi's shoulders. It has been a while since he saw the boy, and this is the last way he expected their next meeting to occur. Obviously, as much as Diarmuid might like to hope that Hidetoshi had been spared the horrors of this week, he had not been.]

Talk to me. Don't let those bad memories overwhelm you.

[altitonant_emperor]

—Huh?

[Hidetoshi offers no resistance to being steered away from the puddle of puke left on the floor, though he noticeably stiffens at the touch of somebody else's fingers holding onto his shoulders. It takes a moment to place the voice through the stupid film of tears; Diarmuid. He felt like shriveling up with shame inside. Crying in front of a peer was embarrassing, and crying in front of an adult was worse, though he and the Servant hadn't seen each other for awhile.]

I'm... [He swallows down another small sob, trying to listen and take a deep breath. Calm down, calm down, stop weeping. It's healthy and all, but save it for when you're alone, god.] It's fine, y-you don't need to do this.

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid directs Hidetoshi across the hallway and a way down from where he had been sick before motioning for him to rest against one of the walls. He then crouches down so that he can smile gently up at the boy.]

Of course, I don't need to. I want to. You've done so much to help me, it is only right that I return the favor. I know it's been a while since we talked. I had hoped our next meeting would be under better circumstances.

Please, don't be afraid to cry around me. This has been a terrible week for everyone. I won't hold it against you. After all, I have cried in front of you. Just take a few moments and gather hold of your emotions. Once you have, we can talk. I would like to help you any way that I can.

[altitonant_emperor]

[Once the chance is presented, Hidetoshi does indeed rest against one of the wall, pressing his back against it and sliding down it slightly. The teenager looks down wordlessly at Diarmuid as he speaks, smiling kindly in a way he can't help but respond to. He's at lost for something to say. My apologies, I didn't foresee us meeting in this kind of situation?

It's... comforting? Reassuring? A tad humiliating because he's in the midst of uncontrollable emotions for the first time in his life and people are seeing him during this? Which he doesn't like.

Well, then we guess it's time to bring up one arm and cover our face with our arm and just. Start crying in earnest since the Servant said it was alright to cry in front of him, and he can't fumble for decent words to speak right now. The tears slowly leak down his cheeks and fall down onto the floor. It's largely silent save for the small sniffle.]

C

[imperialsun]

[He may notice, if he looks on the far left side of the room, a person who seems to have forgone all sense of decency, with his entire body laid over two couches, sleeping. Naoya's two weapons, his katana and submachine gun, are carefully placed as not to harm himself if he turns, but to make sure no one tries to steal them.

...once in a while, his leg twitches too.

Dare he come closer?]

[altitonant_emperor]

[Using a piece of cloth, Hidetoshi attempted to scrub away a particularly stubborn fingerprint on one of his knives that wouldn't come off. Eventually, he glances up from this task, and does think to look over to the far left side of the room and notice the couch-hogger sleeping on two couches.

He lifts an eyebrow at the submachine gun, more surprised by that than the katana.

Is that teenager seriously sleeping with his weapons.]

[imperialsun]

[It's not couch-hogging when it's much more relaxing than your own bed.

Also yes, it makes it easier when you wake up. Which he does now, as if a sort of alarm was built into him the minute 'gaze by other forces' was triggered. It's a hell of an alarm...

He quickly stands up, his weapons to his sides as easily as it was breathing, but relaxes when he sees who it is.]

Sorry. I was sleeping for a few hours before patrolling.

[And doing it here was a good idea, apparently.]

Are you practicing with your knives?

C! oh no Hidetoshi prepare for awkward

[awaken]

[Although Makoto's seen the lounge a few times since arriving in the tower, she's still amazed every time she walks onto the floor. But this time there's something extra that takes her by surprise; a schoolmate, here of all places, sitting on a sofa. At first she's horrified to see him there, considering that he's not a Persona user, but then actual joy at seeing a friend is enough to propel her towards him.]

Hidetoshi-kun!

[She's calling out to him as she approaches, a big smile on her face. At least she's wearing her school uniform, so maybe he won't be too confused...?]

C! hahhah awkward is right, Hidetoshi is so unprepared

[altitonant_emperor]

[It's the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps, followed by the calling of his name that alert him to somebody else's approach. Hidetoshi, looking more sleep-deprived and tense than anyone who had knew him in his home world would recall him to be, looked up to see a girl joyfully walking over to him, a wide grin on her lips. The school uniform pegged her as a person from his world.

He doesn't know who she is, nor why she is referring to him in such a familiar way. That's bothersome.

But she must be one of the other students that attended Gekkoukan high school, logic dictated and that suggested he had likely passed her in the hallways at some point without noticing or something. His face is as politely neutral as his greeting;]

Hello. [It was good to see more others had survived whatever fate had befallen their world at least.] I'm afraid I'm at a disadvantage here.

this will be glorious

[awaken]

[She knows Hidetoshi tends to be rather formal, but this is a new level, even for him. Her eyebrows narrow slightly as she stares at him. It's not like him to kid around and act as if he doesn't know her, but how could he not? That makes even less sense.]

What do you mean? You don't recognize me?

[Makoto puts a hand on her hip.] It's me, Makoto. You know, student council...?

C

[evokingfool]

[Compared to Yu, Minato wasn't outed as a potential thread or a member of the resistance. He wasn't the most loudest of the residents, and he wasn't officially inducted into the resistance. That's why Minato wasn't watched by the units, but he did know they're around.

It gave him a certain level of freedom and keep himself relatively under the radar. Only relatively, since the admins more than likely knows what he's doing. He's just not as dangerous. And it suits him just fine.

The lounge floors were some of his favoured floors. He would go to this particular lounge if he didn't wish to make the extra trip to the media or meadow floors.

Which was how he found Hidetoshi in the middle of cleaning up some knives.]

...Hidetoshi-kun?

['Are you alright? Did you get hurt or killed? If you did, I'm sorry for not being there--']

[altitonant_emperor]

[Hidetoshi takes his gaze away from his knives and looks up at his friend's approach.

Things that can be observed about the teenager today: his eyes are slightly red and puffy from crying, though it's up to Minato himself to notice that since he's intent on behaving like it's a normal day and he didn't have a small breakdown because of smoking and holes in his lungs and experiments.

He carefully sets the scratched knife he was cleaning to the side with the rest of them, all lined up in a neat row beside him on the small table. One end of the row are cleaned of most grime and blood, the rest are still in need of polishing.]

... Minato-kun.

[The crooked smile seems a tired at the edges, but he looks to be holding himself together.] It's good to see you. Are you alright?

[evokingfool]

I'm fairly alright.

[Fairly. It'd be a lie to say he's completely alright. Other than dying (again), Minato is plagued with thoughts and doubts about his own abilities.

But Hidetoshi shouldn't have to worry about his own silly doubts.]

I'm more worried about everyone else.

[He looks at Hidetoshi when he said that, noting his friend's eyes. Did Hidetoshi cry recently?]