Lancer (Fate/Prototype) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
puppy_lancer) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-05-07 08:54 am
puppy_lancer) wrote in towerofanimus2013-05-07 08:54 am
Entry tags:
Finally, another party
Characters: ProtoLancer puppy_lancer, Zero Lancer oathshackledbird and anyone interested in attending a birthday party. Details here.
Setting: Meadow
Format: Anything goes
Summary: Lancer throws his brother a party. Everyone can come except for the Archer (meaning they can come crash the party anyways)! Feel free to tag into any of the threads set up or invent your own scenario.
Warnings: None yet!
[It had taken some preparing, but the party was finally set up in a satisfactory way. There was a table for food and drink dragged in from the cafeteria, a wooden bucket filled with water with fruit floating in it, a strange paper mache Jason head pinata stacked on a scarecrow body, and a board with a pig with a Ganon head scribbled on it along with several spiraling paper "tails" attached to thumbtacks. There are no party decorations, but Lancer figures the flowers and sunshine should be decoration enough.]
[Now it's just a matter of waiting for people to show up.]
puppy_lancer, Zero Lancer oathshackledbird and anyone interested in attending a birthday party. Details here.Setting: Meadow
Format: Anything goes
Summary: Lancer throws his brother a party. Everyone can come except for the Archer (meaning they can come crash the party anyways)! Feel free to tag into any of the threads set up or invent your own scenario.
Warnings: None yet!
[It had taken some preparing, but the party was finally set up in a satisfactory way. There was a table for food and drink dragged in from the cafeteria, a wooden bucket filled with water with fruit floating in it, a strange paper mache Jason head pinata stacked on a scarecrow body, and a board with a pig with a Ganon head scribbled on it along with several spiraling paper "tails" attached to thumbtacks. There are no party decorations, but Lancer figures the flowers and sunshine should be decoration enough.]
[Now it's just a matter of waiting for people to show up.]
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To tell you the truth, I don't know if I'm a good ally at all. I'm too emotional, and I rush into things without thinking. I'm not any good at making plans, either. [As in all things, she's very aware of her faults as a Master.] But— I couldn't just stand aside and leave things as they were. You were fighting for something noble, and I don't think that was the case for any of the other ones.
[She sighs slightly as he brings up the Church. She is less keen on having this part of the conversation, but she dutifully explains the situation to him regardless.]
I'm sure you understand how much trouble it could cause of someone unscrupulous claimed the Grail. My role was to make sure it ended up in the hands of someone who had their approval. But— I disagreed with their choice.
[Her expression clouds as she says this, of course. She thinks she did the right thing, but to betray the Church and the man she had studied under for three years...]
Mine is Assassin.
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[Even though he's aware of the problems involved with two emotional poor planners teaming up, and there's some wryness in hs voice as he adds:] At least we're a matched set.
[He falls silent again. She had defied the Church, for him? He takes a moment to take in the enormity of that fact.] Thank you. All I want is for Sakura to be happy. Thank you for helping me. For helping her.
[Even if it happened in another universe, she had still done it, and for that, he's grateful. He nods when she names her Servant. He's had little to do with Assassin. He doesn't know a great deal about the Servant or its Master.]
Who did they want to win?
[He hadn't thought that the Church might be actively trying to affect the outcome of the War, but now that she's said it, it sounds like something they might do. Could they have been doing that in his War, too? He doesn't like the thought. Of course they wouldn't have wanted him to win. That would mean the Church was his enemy, too. There were more forces against him than he'd realized.]
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[She hopes they can, at least. It can be a little hard to tell where she stands with her Servant, sometimes.]
You don't need to thank me. I just— That was another thing I did without thinking, because I felt it was the right thing to do. That's all.
[However, she doesn't look directly at him as she says this, and she doesn't quite manage to smile the way she wants to. When she speaks next, the words are said carefully.]
The Tohsaka.
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[He says this as if he's that same Kariya fighting in that War, because to his mind, in a very real way, he is.]
No, I should thank you. I can't thank you enough. For Sakura's sake. Her safety is the most important thing, and it means a great deal to me that you would do that for her.
[Even though Sakura is here in the Tower, older and happier, that little girl's suffering is still very immediate and real to him, and something that should be stopped.]
Tohsaka.
[Kariya knows who the Tohsaka Master is, of course. As much as he loves Aoi, he hates Tokiomi. With the other problems he has to deal with in the Tower, his hatred for Tokiomi isn't in the forefront of his mind as much as it was back home, but it resurfaces now. He can feel the anger rise in him, hot and biting. His face darkens, and it doesn't take long for his veins to twitch.]
He doesn't deserve the Grail.
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[She almost mentions Archer, but Archer isn't so much an ally as a dangerous loose cannon that will, maybe, if she asks nicely enough, assist her if she can ensure he has enough prana. She frowns as she remembers her options in that regard, but— She isn't fighting that War now, so she forces herself to focus on the conversation at hand.]
Well, we're not without advantages. [She speaks the same way he does, because she thinks he is otherwise the same as "her" Kariya, and so hearing how he feels is just as valuable as listening to the one from her own world. Even if she is still withholding information from him.]
It wasn't just for Sakura. I did it for you, and because— So many of Tokiomi's choices were indefensible to me. Using a thinking being like it's a tool, and then throwing it away when it doesn't have a purpose anymore— That's wrong. Someone who can do that that shouldn't have something like the Holy Grail.
[Her own tone grows more heated. Thinking about it now, she feels guilty for what she has done, and so she feels compelled to justify herself even though he doesn't seem to need her to.]
[She swallows, seeing the twitching of the veins distorting his face. She doesn't like seeing him this way, but she still falls short of giving him the whole truth when she opens her mouth again.]
He won't have it.
[Because she has killed him, of course.]
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I'm sure we can win, together.
For me? [No one in his War had done anything for him. He isn't even sure what to say to that.] Thank you. I'm grateful.
[What she says pulls at some guilt he's been harboring, however.]
I think--I was wrong. About that. I was using Lancelot that way. All I cared about was winning, for Sakura. It's not as if we could have been partners, then, so I don't know what I could have done differently, but I wish he hadn't been under Mad Enhancement. If only I could have changed that, but I had to do what Zouken said... [He thinks the Mad Enhancement hurt his chances instead of helping them.] I realize now that it was a mistake.
I'm glad. He can't be allowed to win. I'm glad you see him the way I do. He's a cruel person. He's cold. He doesn't care about others. Only his magecraft and his tradition.
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[She pauses, though, when Kariya speaks of Tokiomi. At least where that is concerned, she can't match the intensity of his feelings, even if it would be easy to agree with him and vindicate herself and her own actions. It's tempting, but she knows it's wrong, and she resists.]
I lived with him and studied under him for three years. I can't— I can't see him as a person completely without good. But... He did so many things I can't approve of. I wish things didn't have to be as they are, but—
[Her speech jerks to a halt, and then, abruptly, she tells him:]
I killed him. I didn't think I had any choice, because he would have hurt you—maybe killed you—but I—
[Again, her justifications are more for herself than him. She sounds pleading.]
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You studied with him? So that's how...
[Then that's how she knows Aoi. It's strange to think that she had actually lived with the Tohsakas, with Rin and Sakura. Here is someone else who personally cared about what happened to Sakura, who knew her. She must understand.
He freezes at what she says next, staring at her, startled. She killed Tokiomi? He feels that anger again, his own killing rage. How badly he's wanted to do just that, and she did? For him? He never would have thought she'd do something like that, but now that she's said it, he doesn't doubt her for an instant.
He's dead. Even if it wasn't in his world (yet), it had happened. A curious feeling washes over him. There's some regret in it, but it's mainly relief.]
You did what you thought was right. If you were protecting someone else, then that's not wrong, is it? The fact that you feel bad and that you see good in him shows that you're a good person.
[Kariya can't see good in him. But then, he doesn't think of himself as a good person. Not anymore.]
I wanted to kill him. I thought he deserved to die.
[A part of him wishes he had been the one to do it.]
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[She bites her lip. She doesn't like hearing him say that. It doesn't shake her conviction that he is a good person, but it makes her unhappy, because it's painful to watch someone become mired in destructive thoughts. She doesn't want to see him like this.]
It isn't good to hang onto those feelings. You said that you don't want to be the kind of person that hurts others and doesn't care, but that's what will happen if you do. It's—bad for you, to keep thinking that way. Even if it's to defend someone, or even if the person is truly terrible, you can't— You can't take a life lightly or without remorse.
You're a good person, so I don't want to see you turn into that.
[She doesn't say anything about whether or not she is a good person. She likes to think she is, but she has made so many mistakes that she can't say for sure.]
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You're right. I used to be a good person...
I don't know if I am anymore. I want to be, but-- Maybe I already turned into that. After what he did, I can't forgive him. If only you'd seen her! You'd feel the same way. If you knew what--what he did.
[Kariya's voice breaks. The he he's talking about now is someone different.]
Do you know what it's like, the Matou magecraft? Do you know what it's like to live there, in that house? I grew up there. [He turns toward her again. There's pain in his eyes, an old hurt, deeper than his current physical pain.] I tried to get away, but-- [But he'd come back. Of his own free will.]
I wouldn't feel regret if I killed him. I'm not sorry that you killed him. I know that's wrong, but I can't help it.
[He doesn't know what she'll think of him, but he can't help the honesty in his words.]
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No, I don't. Maybe I don't understand. Maybe I'd feel the same way you do, if I did. But...
[She trails off, and for a second, she isn't sure what she should say or do. Then, on impulse, she moves closer to him, setting her hands lightly on his back. She isn't sure if he'll appreciate a hug, so she keeps it brief.]
I still think you're a good person.
[But, then again, she can't really allow herself to feel otherwise. She can see that he's been hurt, and she won't tell him that he's wrong to have those feelings altogether, even if she wishes he wouldn't hang onto them. She steps back again.]
I know I can't do much, but if you—if you need someone, I want you to know I can be there for you. I just— I just want to be able to make some peace with things, before...
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[He doesn't want to tell her about it, or about what's happened to Sakura. He doesn't know if he can trust himself to explain it without getting upset. Thinking of it hurts him so much, and he doesn't want to upset Claudia. He puts a hand to his face. He can feel the veins standing out, and he's conscious of the presence of the worms beneath his flesh. To think of Sakura going through what he did, or worse... He knows what that pain is like. Few people can understand, but he doesn't want anyone to have to understand, to go through that.]
He must have known. A child shouldn't be taken away from her mother and sister, in any case!
[When she hugs him, he's startled, and he stills. His eyes widen, but she's already pulling away before he has time to react. That was nice. He calms, slightly, smiling at her.]
Thank you. You're very kind to me. You've already done so much for me. [Especially for the other him.] I'd be willing to do anything to help you, too. If there's anything you need. You only have to ask me.
Before what?
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No, you're right. [She shakes her head.] Even just that is wrong. But— I didn't feel like it was my place to say anything. I'm sorry.
[Maybe, if she had spoken up about it... Guilt wells up easily, when she thinks like that, but she still tries to smile for him.]
Well, let's make a deal, then. We'll both help each other whenever we need it. All right?
Oh, well, I— I don't know. Before whatever happens to us, I suppose. Even if... Even if you do go back and win your War, I'm not sure you'll be happy, if you keep feeling that way. That's all.
[She worries.]