towerofanimus | From silent shades and the Elysian groves

Entry tags:

From silent shades and the Elysian groves

Characters: [AU3] Lancer

puppy_lancer, [AU1] Rei Ayanami

terrifying, [AU7] Sola-ui

marriedthebloke, and you
Setting: All around the Tower, through the week
Format: You choose!
Summary: Catch-all event log for my characters
Warnings: Angst, madness, and dying characters

Lancer

August 11-13

[Like all others marked by the shadow children, Lancer hears the voices of his loved ones, especially the two people who can be said to be his biggest regrets. Misaya and Connla were behind him, accusing him of failing, reminding him of his fault, asking him why he hadn't died in their place. And listening to them, he feels less hurt than relieved. Finally, they would blame the right person. Finally, he could be punished for his mistakes.]

[And most of all, no matter what they were saying, he's glad to see them again, even in the form of these strange illusions. He's lost so many people close to him, both old and new. So now he just wants to cling to these shadow children who talk so much like his Master and his son. Or perhaps the stress of the last few weeks had just snapped his mind.]

[The first thing he tries to do is hug them, but to his disappointment, his arms go right through their forms. Even with them at his side, he cannot embrace them and apologize.]

[Nevertheless, it doesn't dampen his mood that much. He walks through the Tower, showing them various floors that he thinks they'll like. He speaks to them like they're still their old selves. And of course, he brags to them about the package he received in the mail. In fact, he's much more cheerful and energetic than someone followed by shadow children should be.]

August 14 (floor 80)

[By this day, Lancer has lost a good deal of his energy. Every couple of steps, he yawns, stretches, or rubs at his eyes. His collar has gotten gradually paler, but he still tries to keep up a happy facade for Misaya and Connla. Especially since he's taken them to a special floor.]

...Look, Connla. There's the circus. Just don't go too close. You too, Misaya. Even if you wanna play with the guts.

['Useless. You're just trying to distract yourself.'

'He's always paid attention to the wrong things. For example, flirting with enemies while he was suppose to be fighting to save me.']

No, really. They're violent. They'd kill you.

[He's doing his best to stay away from the clowns and keeping his voice down. However, in his fatigued state, he wouldn't notice if anyone else joined him on this floor, or if the clowns would try to kill him.]

August 15-16 (floor 25)

[Lancer hates to admit it, but he's tired. Unknown to him, the color of his collar, and the color of his soul itself is becoming more and more washed out He's lain down on the grassy ground of the meadow and doesn't feel like getting up. Not even the growl of thunder in the distance can convince him that this might be a bad idea. Half of him wants to fall asleep, but the voices of the shadow children keep on waking him.]

['Are you trying to go so easily?'

'You don't deserve it.'

'Not when I died in such pain. And I wasn't able to rest in peace even after that. You know what happened to me. If only you had done your job like you were supposed to. Useless Servant.'

'Liar. Traitor. Kin-slayer. Why do you get to die peacefully after all the pain you caused?'

'You already had your chance. You chose to live like a coward instead.'

'You don't deserve the name of a hero.']

Ah...

[For the first time this whole week, it hurts to hear them talk like that. He had done everything he could to accept their accusations and move on, but they just won't stop. If anything, their words were cutting deeper and deeper into him.]

[But by now, he has no strength to argue with them. He just sighs and smiles. Maybe he does deserve some pain...]

Rei

August 11-13

[Rei wakes up to find a group of shadow children around her bed. However, she disregards them and spends her day as she would any day. First, she goes down to the cafeteria for a big meal, then up to the media room to play some games, and finally exploring the nature floors until it's dusk.]

[This continues until the thirteenth, when she finally starts to hear their whispers. Snatches of voices from her home.]

...Guys? This isn't funny.

[However, her suggestions as to whether or not the situation is funny go ignored. Throughout the day, the voices increase in volume, until at night, when she's snuggled up in her bed ready to sleep, they explode.]

[Suddenly, everyone she knows--her family, her friends, the people who had left the Tower--everyone is screaming at her, calling her a monster, telling her she has no reason to live.]

[She makes a little blanket lump out of herself and whimpers, begging them to go away.]

August 14

[Rei spends the entire day in her room. After a sleepless night, she's too tired to go outside.]

['Aw, is the monster out of energy.'

'Nobody will notice if you die, you know.'

'Right, you're not that special. You're just like the rest of us. Just like all seven of us. Just the same as all seven of us.'

'Your soul is not your own.'

'Your name is not your own.'

'We're all just copies of Yui's real daughter.'

'Nous ne sommes pas encore humains.'

'We're all so expendable. Like flowers in a flower bed--any one would do.'

'So why are you alive?'

'You were our friend. You said you would protect us.'

'But you ran. You ran and we died.']

Stop!

[And her pillow goes flying at one of the shadows. They fall silent before one male voice starts speaking.]

['I'm disappointed.']

[Her father.]

[She bursts into tears now, her characteristic smile having completely disappeared.]

['But you're still our daughter. So die and come back to us.']

[Her mother.]

...Mama.

[Slowly, her collar color and her energy are both ebbing away. She remains still, and except for a few traces of tears on her face, emotionless. Was this how that other Rei always felt?]

Sola-ui

August 11 (mailroom)

[Sola-ui stares with distaste at the photograph of her mutilated family. This is all an illusion, she tells herself. However, even with this knowledge, it's all she can do to keep from shaking and crying. She doesn't want the memory of her children to be forever linked with such gruesome images.]

[A couple shadow children stand on their tiptoes around her, as if trying to see the photo for themselves. She she shoos them away. It seems the Tower has seen an increase in strange, annoying creatures.]

I hope nobody here was responsible for this.

[She calls out to anyone who might be in the mailroom with her.]

August 12 (weight room)

[The shadow children had started speaking. It seems she couldn't have a moment to herself before their whispers echoed in her mind. While she can't make out words, the voices are familiar. If she didn't know better, she would say they were the voices of her family--Kayneth, Diarmuid, and Waver.]

[Today, she's decided to go into the weight room. While Diarmuid isn't watching her, she thinks she can manage to lift a few of the lighter weights. It would save him some time during their next training session if she got in more practice beforehand.]

[So, ignoring the whispers of the shadows, she picks up two fifteen pound dumbbells and starts doing lifting exercises with them.]

August 13 (library)

[If the whispers were annoying before, then now, when the words and voices were clear, it was even more irritating. It became harder and harder for her to ignore them, and hurt more and more when she found the familiar voices denouncing her.]

['Too busy lusting after other men to care that your own family is dead.'

'Mother, I love you and I don't want to blame you...but look what you did to us. Or perhaps it's my fault. I was never good enough. I couldn't protect anyone...'

'Mum, help me. It hurts.']

[Currently, she's sitting in the library, flipping through books as quickly and as noisily as she can to try to block out some of the voices. She's clearly distressed by now.]

August 14 (infirmary)

[She's placing bottles on the shelves of the infirmary when Kayneth's voice sounds in her head.]

['Why waste your time? These bottles will save no one.']

[The voice comes so suddenly that it shocks her. She drops the bottle and it shatters on the floor.]

['Mother, are you alright?']

[Had it been another insult, it would have been better than words of concern. This sounded like something Diarmuid could actually say...]

[Without moving from her spot, she puts her head in her hands and cries.]

August 15 (infirmary)

[Sola-ui is down at the infirmary all day today. Instead of working, though, she's lying on a bed, too tired physically and mentally to do anything but lie back and listen to the voices of her family.]

[Sometimes it feels like a nightmare, when they're all in a hurry to point out everything she does wrong. And sometimes it feels more like a beautiful dream, when they actually act like themselves. She can swear that at one point, her children even got into bed next to her, like they would when they were very young.]

['Isn't it better like this? When we're all together?']

Yes...it is...

[She mutters groggily.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...Hey, you.

[Lancer stares at the shadow child.]

If you're gonna imitate Rider's Waver, then do it right. Did Rider teach you to speak ill of others in front of their Servants?

['See? Even this pathetic, half-assed Servant can show more loyalty to his Master than you can, dog.']

[While it might not not be obvious to someone who doesn't know Waver's mannerisms as well as Diarmuid does, the motions his shadow child makes mimics those Waver makes when he lights and then takes a dismissive puff on one of his cigarettes.]

Do tell the dog to stop yapping at me. You can at least do that right, can't you?

[Diarmuid doesn't respond to the shadow. Instead, he presses his lips together into a frown before he speaking to Cu Chulainn.]

We should leave them here for a while, brother. They will probably enjoy each other more than we enjoy them. My powers are working okay for the moment. I can outrun them...

Do I even need to mention you're running again? You've turned me into such a broken record. I hope you're proud of yourself. I should be dismantling the Grail. Instead, I'm stuck here repeating your faults over and over again.

[He reaches out to grab Diarmuid's hand, silently begging him to stay. He has no strength to run. And even if he did, he's still not sure if he wants to run away from his shadows.]

['Make up your mind already. Or are you just too used to hesitating and getting everyone killed?']

[A second later, he lets go.]

How about a race? I'll give you a head start.

[It's not a direct refusal, but not agreeing either.]

[Diarmuid shakes his head. He may be tired, but he's no fool. He knows his brother better than that.]

You are too tired to run yourself. I'm not blind, brother. If I go, you will not be able to follow. I know you probably want to stay with them. It's just for a short time. It will make you feel better. Please, just let me take you away from them for a while...

Not everyone solves their problems by running, you know. Maybe you should listen to the dog and actually face your problems instead of running for once.

I...

[He wants to protest, but at that point, the glamour flickers, leaving the two of them in their wireframe and film forms. He can see that parts of the purple fluid cycling through his brother's body has become clear.]

W-what the...

[And of course, Diarmuid should be able to see Cu Chulainn's dimming soul as well.]

[Diarmuid's worry about his brother deepens when he sees how faded his soul is. However, he doesn't seem all that surprised for some reason.]

They...are doing something to us. I'm not sure what to call it, but whatever it is, it stops when we are away from them. That is why I have been losing mine whenever I have the chance to. Waver noticed the other day that when we lost ours and stayed together, they stayed away even longer. I think they don't like the new bonds we've formed here...

Damned right we don't. You shouldn't be focusing on making new bonds! You should be focusing on getting back what you stole!

Do you understand now why I want you to leave with me? I don't know what will happen if we fade completely, but I don't expect it will be good. We need to be away from them as much as we possibly can be so we last until whatever this...experiment is ends.

I see...

[He gives one last look at his shadow children.]

['Will you abandon me again, Father?'

'What happened to your promise to stay by me and protect me?']

[He grits his teeth, and then closes his eyes and turns away. He doesn't want to abandon them, even if they are illusions. Yet, he knows that his brother is right.]

...Yeah, I'll go with you. For now.

They will return to you, if that helps any.

[Diarmuid pulls his brother into his arms for a hug, though as he does he glares over Cu Chulainn's shoulder at their gathered shadows.]

But you cannot help or protect, you cannot be a father or a Servant when you are this tired. If they are really any part of who they say they are, they will understand.

Where do you want to go? I will carry you if you need me to. Just ask.

Alright, alright, I got it.

[He leans on Diarmuid's shoulder.]

How about the library? Neither of mine are very big on reading books. And I don't need to be carried. We can just walk.

[Now that neither of them has powers, he's not sure how long Diarmuid would be able to carry him for.]

[Diarmuid wraps an arm around his brother's waist to help steady him.]

Walking is okay for now, but when the systems come back on it might not be a bad idea if we run for a bit just to put more distance between them and us. Maybe we could go up to the sewing floor? I've been meaning to make you a tunic like the ones we wore back in the day, but I still haven't been able to do it. You can laugh at me for knowing how to sew so well...

Really?

[His eyes light up.]

We'll have to do that then. And by sewing well, does that mean you can even do embroidery?

Maybe we should just start heading there instead of the library? After all, with the systems down, there isn't going to be anything to read. It will all just be film. Maybe by the time we hike our way to the sewing floor things will be back to normal.

[Diarmuid looks down, suddenly seeming embarrassed.]

Yes...a little. Caer showed me how to do it when I was young and it just stuck. I learned a little bit of everything as a boy...

Hopefully.

[He starts walking toward the staircase, even though he wobbles as he walks.]

Even women's work, huh? Guess I'll ask you to help with any tears I get in my clothes from now on.

[Diarmuid quickly catches up to Cu Chulainn and puts his arm around his brother's shoulders to steady him as they walk. Then he laughs.]

Even that. Some of the men in the household complained about her wasting my time since it was something I would never need to know, but I still wanted to know. I was a very curious child. Besides, she made some beautiful things. I remember having a blanket with all these small swans embroidered on it. Even though they were small, they seemed so alive that they might fly off the blanket at any moment. What child wouldn't want to know how that was done?

That sounds nice. Reminds me of Emer's sewing. She was very good at that, you know. I swear there isn't a pattern that she can't learn from just seeing it. You were a lucky boy.

I was. Even with all that happened to me, I was.

[Diarmuid smiles gently. He's about to say something else when the glamour systems come back up.]

You feeling up to a race while things are working?

[Not only will it help distract his brother from the shadows even more, it will more quickly put distance between them and the shadows.]

Of course I do.

[Now that he feels a little less tired. Or, at least, a little motivated.]

Excellent! Then try to keep up!

[Diarmuid winks at his brother and then takes off up the stairs. Of course, he doesn't let himself get too far ahead just in case Cu Chulainn has underestimated his strength. The last thing he wants is for him to get hurt.]

Shouldn't I be the one to say that?

[He follows after Diarmuid. At first, they're neck and neck, but after a few steps of stairs, he starts falling behind. Still, he keeps to about arm's length after Diarmuid.]

[Diarmuid laughs at the response, but when he notices his brother falling behind, slightly cuts his speed so they stay closer. He then throws a teasing look over his shoulder at Cu Chulainn.]

Come now. You aren't going to let me beat you so easily are you? If you do, I might just have to pick a terrible color for that tunic. Something like pink...

No fucking way!

[He puts on a burst of speed, catching up with Diarmuid again.]

What if I win? What then?

[Diarmuid can't help but be amused by how easily motivated his brother is, but he is also glad to see his spirits higher.]

I don't know. What would you like as a prize?

I make you sew something silly! Like a doll!

A doll would not be silly.

[Notice he doesn't argue against sewing one...]

I could give it to Yotsuba or better yet I will slip it into your arms while you are sleeping so I can tell everyone you sleep with a doll!

[He gets a horrified expression.]

You wouldn't!

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