I have called you children, I have called you son

[vermicompost]

Characters: Kariya and OPEN
Setting: Floor 100, mid-late in the week
Format: any; I'll match
Summary: Under the strain, Kariya completely loses his grip on reality.
Warnings: Standard Individuation warnings! Severe delusions. Chance of blood and body horror because Kariya.


[It's springtime, and the park is beautiful at this time of year. The flowers are blooming, and the leaves are gentle, lighter shades of green than they'll be when summer settles in with its weight and heat. Everything is new and fresh. Even the air feels light, and there's a gentle coolness on the breeze. He sits in the grass and leans back against one the trees, letting out a long, contented breath. His camera rests beside him on the ground.

It's a perfect day.

Sakura and Rin are playing on the swings, and he keeps an eye on them. They're laughing, Rin determined to swing the highest, each arc seeming to bring her a little closer to the sky, while Sakura keeps a steady, even rhythm, keeping up without trying to compete. His children. He loves them so much, his heart hurts. He puts a hand to his chest, but the pain is fleeting, and he smiles. He's so happy. He's never been happier.

He turns to the woman sitting beside him. His smile is for her, as well. Flowers and butterflies may be pretty, but she's the loveliest thing he's ever seen. He reaches out to take her hand.]

We should take them for ice cream later. They'd like that.

[In reality, Kariya is lying in the middle of the one hundredth floor, so weak he can barely move. He's surrounded by shadow children. They're speaking to him, but he doesn't react or so much as glance at them. He doesn't appear to be aware of them at all, his gaze bright and unfixed. The liquid in his collar is faded, but not pale, more of a sky blue.]

You're so quiet today. What are you thinking about, Aoi?

Comments

[heroicprinciple]

[ Shirou's not fond of this floor, that emptily shows him his own house, with its familiar kitchen and yard and the shed out in the back. It reminds him, too acutely, of his own perceived failures. He couldn't save them and therefore, he's useless. Big surprise.

He's not exhausted, but he's worn out. The shadow children that follow him are many, constant and no matter how times he reassures them he'll try his best, try to atone even if it's impossible, try to do better and fix things, they aren't satisfied. ]

... Matou? [ He stops, blink at the sick man holding out a hand to thin air. ] Uh, ice cream? Who?

[ What? ]

[vermicompost]

Oh, hello. It's good to see you.

[He raises a hand in greeting. It's one of Rin and Sakura's friends. It's not unusual to encounter one of them at the park. So many children come there to play.]

Rin and Sakura are playing over there, if you'd like to join them.

We're going to go out for ice cream later. You can come, if you ask your parents first.

[heroicprinciple]

Um, yeah. Good to see you, too.

[ Shirou looks confused. Rin and Sakura aren't here, much less playing; this floor doesn't project holograms of people. There's only the dining room, Kariya and a crowd of shadows. He says as much; ] There isn't an ice cream shop on any of floors, Matou.

I'm not sure I get what you're talking about, but are you feeling alright?

[ Hurriedly, he walks over and tries to shoo the shadows away from the man. ]

[vermicompost]

Floors? [He simply doesn't understand what Shirou's talking about, so he presents him with a puzzled look, though he's still smiling.] There's one down the street. It isn't far. We could walk there.

[All the shadows save one are successfully chased off by Shirou's efforts. That one remaining shadow child stands regarding him as malevolently as a faceless shadow creature can. It doesn't look easy to get rid of.]

Yes, we're fine. [He doesn't understand Shirou's reactions, so he gazes up at him worriedly.] Is something wrong?

[heroicprinciple]

[



??? ?? ? ???? ]

We're in a... [ What. What's wrong with this scene: a lot of things. Kariya's pleasantly smiling, puzzled expression is matched by his baffled look back at him. ] There aren't any streets here and there are not definitively not streets with ice cream shops on them around here. We're in a tower, remember? A tower is something that has floors.

[ Once he's successfully shooed the shadows away, he glares in frustration at the one shadow that lingers and ponders how to make it go away. Stop bothering the nice man who cares about Sakura and Rin and Shinji!! Then he looks at Kariya again. ]

Yes, there's something wrong. [ He considers checking the grown man's temperature, seeing if he's running a fever from his poor health or not. ] You're acting really weird.

[vermicompost]

A tower?

[Is this some kind of game the children are playing? He's not sure. It's odd. He's not sure if he should play along, but he decides to do so nonetheless.]

Oh, that's right. A tower. I'm sorry, I forgot. How would we get to the ice cream shops, then?

[The remaining shadow creature appears to look smug, taking a step closer to the oblivious Kariya. Kariya glances at Aoi uncertainly. It's sort of a strange game for a child to play, but he smiles nonetheless.]

It's all right, I'm fine. I remembered about the tower. You don't need to worry. I'm sure Rin and Sakura would like exploring it with you.

[heroicprinciple]

[ . . . ???????????? ?? ? ????? ????? ? ?? ??? ? ]

Well, I guess you could go to the cafeteria and check the menu, then? There aren't ice cream ships here, and the restaurant is too risky.

[ Shirou's dense enough to take Kariya's word for it when he appears to correct himself and recall the tower, but he's still concerned. Worried. ]

. . .

Urm. Right, I'm sure they would. [ And then his word is ruined when he says that. Because the Tower is not a place many would enjoy exploring. Shirou suspects this goes a little deeper than just feverish confusion and weirdness. He awkwardly takes a step closer.

His glare, directed away from Kariya and towards that stupid shadow child, remained taut with frustration. Shirou can't identity it—it isn't familiar to him, but there's that smugness which irritates him and physical attacks don't really affect them so. Considering what to do! ]

[vermicompost]

The cafeteria? You mean, at the school?

[The shadow child climbs up onto Kariya and onto his head, whispering something in his ear that he doesn't appear to react to.]

What's wrong with the restaurant? [Maybe this is just a very worried boy. He can understand that. He was a nervous child.] I'm sure we'll be able to find ice cream somewhere.

What's your favorite flavor?

[heroicprinciple]

[ What, get the hell off him you irritating little pest. While he can't tell the shadow is whispering since it has no lips, Shirou immediately leans forward and attempts to shove it off of the man with both hands. ]

You need to complete a task before they give you anything to eat [ >:| ] and if you screw it up, they take a body part. I don't think you're in any shape to be losing body parts for the sake of ice cream.

[ Kariya was acting like somebody who'd lost all touch with the reality of the tower and Shirou abruptly realizes he has no clue of how respond to this situation or make the man snap out of it, which prompts more self-loathing to well up inside him. His own uselessness, his own failure because shouldn't a superhero be able to help someone like this? Awkwardly; ]

I don't have one. . . ? They all taste fine. [ lol empty human being ]

not-Shirou is the cutest

[vermicompost]

[The shadow nimbly avoids Shirou's shove, retreating in a puff of smoke--then returning as soon as Shirou backs away. It seems to enjoy this "game".]

Oh, I never heard of anything like that. No--I don't want to, but that won't happen.
Let's not go to any restaurants like that, then.

[He's a very inventive child, but very morbid. Kariya isn't sure how to deal with this situation. He tries to be gentle.]

I promise, when we go to get ice cream, nothing bad will happen to anyone.

My favorite's vanilla. But it's good to try everything.

thank he doesn't know What To Do it's sweet

[heroicprinciple]

[ This isn't a "game" pest. He swipes at the shadow when it returns to the ill man's side, stop trying to say horrible things to him even if he's too delusional to respond. ]

It's really stupid. You shouldn't have to risk being hurt just to get some decent food to eat, for god's sake! Nobody should. [ Shirou's opinion @ the Tower. So frustrated and pissed off at how much it makes other people suffer and he can't fix it, and man it's just he hates it. ]

Uhm. . .

[ He berates himself; why say things like I want to be a superhero when you don't know how to help people at all? Kariya didn't seem to be unhappy with his current ignorance of reality, but it wasn't good to leave him like this either. Why is saving people so difficult. Shirou's dense enough to miss the attempt to be gentle. ]

Ah—well, that's nice?

I want to stop bad things from happening to anybody too.

[vermicompost]

[The swiped at shadow dissipates, only to reform on the other side of Kariya, tilting its head as if to mock Shirou for his efforts.]

You're right, no one should have to get hurt for food. It must be a bad place, but you don't have to go there.

That's good. It's nice to want to help people. That's what I try to do. What do you want to be when you grow up?

[heroicprinciple]

[ why.

Shirou inches around Kariya to persistently continue shooing it away, go away nobody likes you annoying smug shadow. ]

Yeah. I can cook too, so usually I just do that instead of going there.

It's not wrong to want to help people, right? To want them to happy? [ And then he asks about what he wants to be when he grows up, it's a question he's been asked before, and the back of the red knight, the ruined castle, the regret he had rejected from that asshole the answer comes out without needing to think about it in depth: ] An ally of justice. I'd really like that.

[vermicompost]

[Smug shadow continues to be amused by Shirou's efforts, disappearing every time Shirou is just about to succeed in shooing it, only to appear elsewhere.]

Oh, you can cook? That's wonderful. It's better to make your own food. I'm not that much of a cook, but Aoi, Rin, and Sakura are all so good at making food. I try to help them, but sometimes they chase me out of the kitchen.

No, it's not wrong at all. What could be better than that? An ally of justice? [It sounds like something out of a superhero story, but as Shirou is a child in his eyes, this makes perfect sense to him.] That sounds noble. I hope you're able to become one someday. I know you'll help a lot of people. [He pauses, smiling to himself.] I just wanted to be a dad.

[heroicprinciple]

[ Shirou, pigheaded to the last, isn't deterred by this smug pest taunting him and firmly continues to chase it around. ]

Yeah, it's cathartic in some ways. And a good hobby. Sakura's great help in the kitchen, a true culinary commander, but I don't think Rin likes it that much. She likes magecraft and bossing people around more. [ Just. pointing that out between praising Sakura's cooking skills, Kariya. He pauses, a little confused. ] Er, if you don't mind me asking. . . Who's Aoi? A friend of theirs?

[ He's glad the older man agrees with him though. WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN BEING A TRUE ALLY OF JUSTICE? NOTHING, OBVIOUSLY. ]

Noble, huh. . . [ Maybe if he wasn't post-game, he would have solidly agreed with that. However. It was beautiful and it wasn't wrong, but it wasn't noble. Not when it came from Emiya Shirou and his crooked nature. ] Ah, thank you! [—Oh, wait. Continuing; ] You wanted to have a family? Well, that's a good wish—

[ And then it belatedly occurs to him, again, which family Kariya hailed from. ]

[vermicompost]

My hobby's writing. That's how I express myself. I wish I was better at cooking. Well, maybe Rin doesn't like it that much, but she's very good. She's good at everything. [He laughs.] She can be a little bossy, but that's all right. She has a lot of spirit.

[Of course, it's the little girl he's thinking of and not the teenager.]

I don't think there's anything more important than family. Aoi is my wife. Aoi Matou. Rin and Sakura's mother.

[heroicprinciple]

Well, if you want to improve, I could teach you. About how to cook, I mean? [ He offers, smiling a little at how obviously fond of Rin this man is, even if he didn't seem to remembering her personality in the right way. ] Right. Family's important.

[ Then his eyebrows draw together, forehead crinkling.

what. ]

Aoi. . . Matou? [ :/a t-thinking that over, give him a moment. ] She's, uh. That's their mom's name?

[vermicompost]

Oh, you could? I'd like that. Thank you. I don't know very much, so I have a lot to learn.

Yes, that's right. Aoi Matou is their mother. [Kariya smiles, blissfully. He sees nothing wrong with this statement.]

[heroicprinciple]

Alright! Come by the cafeteria in the mornings, that's when I'm there. I'm be glad to teach you. [ Shirou waves off his thanks cheerfully, he doesn't need thanks, he just wants to make other people happy. ] As long as you're willing to learn, that's good enough.

I see. And you're their dad? [ ?????????? ?????????????????????????????? ? ? ? ???? ?? ? ?? ??????? ? ??

That doesn't make any sense. ]

[vermicompost]

Okay, I'll do that. I'm very willing.

[If he remembers that this conversation happens...]

That's right. I'm their father. I'm a very lucky man.

[It seems to make perfect sense to Kariya, who smiles blissfully as that one stubborn shadow child appears to laugh at him.]

[heroicprinciple]

See you there then.

[ He nods, thoughtful look temporarily clearing up into a smile. Then he's frowning. ]

Okay? [ ER. ] That's great. You're lucky, I'm glad you're happy together.

[ . . . Wanting to replace somebody's father and husband in your delusions is actually really dickish creepy weird, and while Kariya is clearly a good person, Shirou is not sure what to think of him for that. ]