I have called you children, I have called you son

[vermicompost]

Characters: Kariya and OPEN
Setting: Floor 100, mid-late in the week
Format: any; I'll match
Summary: Under the strain, Kariya completely loses his grip on reality.
Warnings: Standard Individuation warnings! Severe delusions. Chance of blood and body horror because Kariya.


[It's springtime, and the park is beautiful at this time of year. The flowers are blooming, and the leaves are gentle, lighter shades of green than they'll be when summer settles in with its weight and heat. Everything is new and fresh. Even the air feels light, and there's a gentle coolness on the breeze. He sits in the grass and leans back against one the trees, letting out a long, contented breath. His camera rests beside him on the ground.

It's a perfect day.

Sakura and Rin are playing on the swings, and he keeps an eye on them. They're laughing, Rin determined to swing the highest, each arc seeming to bring her a little closer to the sky, while Sakura keeps a steady, even rhythm, keeping up without trying to compete. His children. He loves them so much, his heart hurts. He puts a hand to his chest, but the pain is fleeting, and he smiles. He's so happy. He's never been happier.

He turns to the woman sitting beside him. His smile is for her, as well. Flowers and butterflies may be pretty, but she's the loveliest thing he's ever seen. He reaches out to take her hand.]

We should take them for ice cream later. They'd like that.

[In reality, Kariya is lying in the middle of the one hundredth floor, so weak he can barely move. He's surrounded by shadow children. They're speaking to him, but he doesn't react or so much as glance at them. He doesn't appear to be aware of them at all, his gaze bright and unfixed. The liquid in his collar is faded, but not pale, more of a sky blue.]

You're so quiet today. What are you thinking about, Aoi?

Comments

[axeforasong]

[having never found this floor before, for a moment she's confused. What, exactly, is Poland's cottage doing here if her world was destroyed?

"It's like, totally fake Mayu" Is shadow!Poland's answer, shortly before he spots Kariya and runs away.]

Ah!

[she blinks, realising how many of them are surrounding the old man sitting randomly in the field]

Get away!

[CHARGING IN WITH AXE hi Kariya]

[vermicompost]

[Kariya starts at first at her rushed approach, but his smile quickly returns as, unbeknownst to him, the shadow children scatter, fleeing from her.]

Oh, are you coming to save me, Rin? Thank you. You're too good to your father.

[axeforasong]

[HERO MAYU SAVES THE DA-wait, what?]

...'Rin' is who?

[vermicompost]

You're not Rin?

[She must be playing pretend. Of course, Kariya is going to play along.]

I'm sorry--I thought you were someone else. What's your name, then?

[puppy_lancer]

Ah...Kariya.

[Lancer comes onto the floor, and, leaning against a wall, sits down. Though it's a short climb down from the dormitory, it's still enough to make him feel tired.]

Who're you talking to?

[vermicompost]

Oh, hello, Lancer.

[Kariya smiles up at his friend.]

I didn't expect to see you here. Do you have the day off? Aoi and I were just talking about where we should take the children next.

It's beautiful today, isn't it?

[puppy_lancer]

...The day off? I dunno. It ain't my shift.

[He assumes that Kariya might be talking about the Tower jobs.]

Yeah, really nice.

[Of course, his eyes don't see a park. He sees a green river bank with a fortress in the distance.]

Which one's Aoi?

[While he looks at Kariya' shadow children, Lancer's two shadows come down the stairs, sitting down beside him once they're on the floor.]

[heroicprinciple]

[ Shirou's not fond of this floor, that emptily shows him his own house, with its familiar kitchen and yard and the shed out in the back. It reminds him, too acutely, of his own perceived failures. He couldn't save them and therefore, he's useless. Big surprise.

He's not exhausted, but he's worn out. The shadow children that follow him are many, constant and no matter how times he reassures them he'll try his best, try to atone even if it's impossible, try to do better and fix things, they aren't satisfied. ]

... Matou? [ He stops, blink at the sick man holding out a hand to thin air. ] Uh, ice cream? Who?

[ What? ]

[vermicompost]

Oh, hello. It's good to see you.

[He raises a hand in greeting. It's one of Rin and Sakura's friends. It's not unusual to encounter one of them at the park. So many children come there to play.]

Rin and Sakura are playing over there, if you'd like to join them.

We're going to go out for ice cream later. You can come, if you ask your parents first.

[heroicprinciple]

Um, yeah. Good to see you, too.

[ Shirou looks confused. Rin and Sakura aren't here, much less playing; this floor doesn't project holograms of people. There's only the dining room, Kariya and a crowd of shadows. He says as much; ] There isn't an ice cream shop on any of floors, Matou.

I'm not sure I get what you're talking about, but are you feeling alright?

[ Hurriedly, he walks over and tries to shoo the shadows away from the man. ]

[looselips]

[Shinji is hardly bothered by his own shadowy followers, but it would be wrong to say he hasn't been affected. It's difficult to watch as everyone else around him breaks down. It's even more difficult to see the way Kariya has slipped completely into a delusion. There's only so much he can do to help other people now, and there's nothing he can do about that.]

[He should just let everyone deal with their own problems. That'd be the smart thing to do. He doesn't know why he hasn't.]

[Now, when he finds Kariya on the 100th Floor, the first thing he does is circle him, trying shoo away the shadows surrounding him, waving a hand at them like they're a bunch of particularly unpleasant vermin. It's only once he had done that that he looks at Kariya more closely—but, judging from his expression, his condition hasn't changed at all.]

[He could probably just leave now. He doubts anyone would blame him, if he didn't want to see Kariya like...this. But, instead, he sits on the floor beside him, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. Making sure he doesn't wander into anything that'll hurt him is the least he can do.]

[vermicompost]

[When Shinji comes to sit down near him, Kariya smiles at him. He's not at all surprised to see him. As far as he's concerned, Shinji came to the park along with the rest of the family.

The single most stubborn of the shadows eludes Shinji's shooing, but the rest scamper away fairly quickly, even if they don't go far.]

You don't want to swing with your sisters, Shinji?

[He's at that age, though, in which he doesn't always like to play with the other children, doesn't see himself as a child. It might be early for him to feel that way, but Shinji's always been mature, in a way, even if he might be less so in others. Kariya smiles at him, warmly.]

It's all right. You don't have to. You can sit here with me--unless you'd like to play a game.

What do you think, should we go out for ice cream later?

[looselips]

[Shinji squints at the shadow that remains, fully intending to insert himself between it and Kariya if necessary. But, then, they don't seem to proactively do much beyond be upsetting, and Kariya is apparently beyond upset now.]

[He sets his cheek on top of his knees as he thinks that, face turned away from Kariya. He feels anxious and unsettled, but he remains where he is, even if he winces faintly at Kariya's words.]

[He hums noncommittally at the questions, but he guesses he can't get away with just that, so he keeps his voice as steady as he can as he asks:] What—kind of game?

[He guesses he should try to keep him happy and comfortable while he's—like this.]

[sicharia]

[Claudia steers clear of this floor in the best of circumstances, and with things as they are now— Well, half the time she refuses to so much as pass it on the stairs. Of course, doing so doesn't actually help much, seeing as the effort she puts into avoiding it only earns her more barbed remarks from her accompanying shadows.]

[The day they had started talking in earnest, she had broken down and cried and pleaded for forgiveness, everything sharply and horrifyingly clear. Now, though, she spends half her time in a daze, so swept up in their voices and her own self-castigating thoughts that she barely notices her surroundings. Every part of her feels tired and heavy. That she has wound up here is nothing more than a well-timed mistake.]

[Kariya's presence occurs to her in the same moment that she realizes what floor this is. He's on the floor, shadows gathered around him, and—she can't make out his words from here, but she can hear their general tone, and that somehow only makes her more concerned. She should go to his side—she knows she should—but at the same time, she's so disgusted with herself that she doesn't even want him to see her.]

[Kirei—or the one with Kirei's voice—or whatever it is doesn't even have to say anything particularly harsh. An almost idle comment about her hesitating is enough to send her across the floor, hurried steps carrying her to Kariya's side.]

Kariya?

[She nearly lowers herself to kneel beside him, but then she stops herself. She feels as though if she stops standing, she won't be able to get up again.]

[vermicompost]

[It's hard to say when it was that Kariya lost his ability to perceive reality. It didn't happen all at once, although once it started to happen, it happened quickly.

You left me--

You promised--

Uncle, where did you go...?

You're worthless, Kariya, you failed, like you always do--

At last, he couldn't listen anymore, so he simply didn't. Once he'd started, it had been so easy. It's so much easier, this way. Why shouldn't he be happy?

At the sound of her voice, he turns toward her, managing to raise his head with some difficulty, although he doesn't realize his movements are pained at all. Most of the shadows move away as she approaches, save one, which lingers at his side. He reaches out his hand to her. His one remaining hand is very thin, a faint line of dried blood running down it from knuckle to wrist where the thin skin split open. He smiles and laughs, gently.]

There you are. Where did you go?

[sicharia]

[Her reluctance to kneel immediately disappears when she sees the way he struggles to raise his head. She lowers herself to the ground—her knees all but buckle, really—and moves to gather him up, supporting him against herself. He's much worse off than her, and the realization makes her feel as though she has been struck in the gut. Thinking of herself now—she's selfish, she's always so selfish—]

[She takes his hand in hers immediately, her grip careful but firm. Comforting, maybe. The blood is obvious against the paleness of his skin, and unthinkingly, she brings the back of his hand to her lips, holding it to her cheek a second later.]

[Even though his voice is anything but, the words feel like an accusation. She should have looked for him, but she just... Her own entourage of shadows has hung back some, but she knows they're still there, condemning even in silence. She knows she's a failure, she knows—]

I didn't—go anywhere, I just...

[She trails off. Her chest feels tight.]

[xroyal_bratx]

[ After her encounter with Darres, Ishtar was on her own again, with a bit motivation to keep going. He mind was a bit strained but it didn't seem like it was going to stop her from being herself right now.

Ishtar ran a hand through her hair as the shadow child, Duzell continues to whisper cold things to her. She shakes it off as she enters the 100th floor, giving it a once over and spotting Kairya in the middle of the hundredth floor. She isn't sure why he was laying there but there are quite a number of shadow children surrounding Kariya. She hasn't seen Kariya in a while, and it might be a good idea to maybe suggest some more healing for his condition, whatever it may be.

Ishtar has tried to skim through medical books to help but the words are too big or hard to understand. She tried her best though, but there's a lot she still had to learn. For now, she is more concerned with the faintness of his collar. Hers is considerably faded but not life threatening. Falan is calling her a liar, saying that her promises are empty.

Ishtar's chest hurts but she is more concerned with others than herself. ]

Kariya, you shouldn't lie out in the middle of the floor like that. It's not...safe, even if it feels or looks it.

[ She speaks softly. ]

[vermicompost]

[At the sound of Ishtar's voice, he looks up. When he sees her, it's not Ishtar herself he sees, but a little girl who he believes should be there.]

Sakura?

[He blinks at her--puzzled for a moment--then smiles. She's so mature for her age. He seems, for a moment, to be trying to sit up, but it doesn't quite work, and he lies still again.]

You sound so grown up when you say that, but you can still call me dad. Don't worry about me, I'll be all right. It's not so bad. I'm just resting for a bit.

[xroyal_bratx]

[ Ishtar tilts her head softly wondering what he meant by that. He did call her Sakura. She remembers hearing that name before, but she can't quite put her finger on it right now. Ishtar approached him with worry. ]

It's Ishtar, Kariya. Are you okay?

[ She furrows her brow as she sees his failed attempt to get up. She walks over closer to help him up. ]

It would be really odd if I called you dad, Kariya.

[ She softly smiles at him. She's not sure what's going on but he might be seeing things. The shadows aren't exactly the nicest bunch and she doesn't doubt that they're partially the cause for what she thinks is hallucination. ]

I know it's not that bad but it's not a good idea. I can help you to your room, since it would be safer, Kariya and you look a bit pale. Are you sure you're okay?

[integrous]

[ Asahi herself isn't exactly shadow free. Sure, she might not be surrounded the way Kariya is, she's chased around by only two of them, but still, it's already making her a little more tired. But she's aware enough to suddenly notice someone lying on the floor -- are they okay?!

She doesn't even really look to see who it is or anything, she's just already running over, ignoring her own shadows in her worry. ]

Hey, are you okay?!

[vermicompost]

[When Asahi approaches, all the shadow children save one scatter. That one remains stubbornly at Kariya's side.

He smiles up at her, turning toward her at the sound of her voice. Although he's lying on the floor, weakened, he looks quite content, peaceful.]

I'm wonderful. It's a beautiful day, isn't it?

[integrous]

... Ah, I don't think I'd call it beautiful..

[ She blinks, confused. She can't see a tail, so he isn't lying - he really thinks it's a beautiful day when it's.. well, like this? Did he get delusional or something or is he just that optimistic? No matter what it is, Asahi clearly gets a little more awkward at it. ] Y.. you're sure you're okay though? I mean, it can't be warm there on the floor..

[chevalier_mal_fet]

[He does this for his Master. Not out of duty, but out of a sort of kindness. If Berserker can be Kind, in his broken way. He follows his Master about, sometimes unseen, sometimes as a Mist, sometimes as his own Self, when the man is lucid-- and sometimes in this guise, this Glamour. A woman's face and body, a woman he has never seen, never met but in his Master's thoughts. Dark hair and a calm, almost impassive face.

He sits beside his Master now, resting a delicate hand his weak grip, listening to his talk of invisible children.
Kairya addresses him, and when he answers, it is in his own Voice.]

I was thinking that the day is perfect, so pleasant.
I am happy to be here, with you.

[In his way, awful though it might seem, Lancelot is fighting for his Master's Life. Connection is more important than Dignity or Honor-- even if it be False connection. He will not see his Master Die to Shadows. He himself is a stronger Shadow than any here.]

[vermicompost]

[Kariya smiles at Aoi and moves toward her, shifting so he rests against her.]

That's just what I was thinking. Except I was thinking it about you.

[Her hair is soft against his face. It smells good. He lets out a long breath. He feels--this anxiety, this tension, that he can't explain, but when she's with him, it dissipates. He feels better, stronger. He's so lucky, to have Aoi here with him. He squeezes her hand with his own.]

I've never been so happy.

[chevalier_mal_fet]

[His Master's head rests on his thigh. It is a natural thing to thread a hand that is not his own through Kariya's fine, white hair, to ghost a touch along his cheek. Feeling his Master's strength return even so slightly, he smiles.]

I'm happy, too. I never thought I could be happy again.
But now you're here.

I know the Girls are so glad, that we're all here together.
It will be all right now.