I have called you children, I have called you son

[vermicompost]

Characters: Kariya and OPEN
Setting: Floor 100, mid-late in the week
Format: any; I'll match
Summary: Under the strain, Kariya completely loses his grip on reality.
Warnings: Standard Individuation warnings! Severe delusions. Chance of blood and body horror because Kariya.


[It's springtime, and the park is beautiful at this time of year. The flowers are blooming, and the leaves are gentle, lighter shades of green than they'll be when summer settles in with its weight and heat. Everything is new and fresh. Even the air feels light, and there's a gentle coolness on the breeze. He sits in the grass and leans back against one the trees, letting out a long, contented breath. His camera rests beside him on the ground.

It's a perfect day.

Sakura and Rin are playing on the swings, and he keeps an eye on them. They're laughing, Rin determined to swing the highest, each arc seeming to bring her a little closer to the sky, while Sakura keeps a steady, even rhythm, keeping up without trying to compete. His children. He loves them so much, his heart hurts. He puts a hand to his chest, but the pain is fleeting, and he smiles. He's so happy. He's never been happier.

He turns to the woman sitting beside him. His smile is for her, as well. Flowers and butterflies may be pretty, but she's the loveliest thing he's ever seen. He reaches out to take her hand.]

We should take them for ice cream later. They'd like that.

[In reality, Kariya is lying in the middle of the one hundredth floor, so weak he can barely move. He's surrounded by shadow children. They're speaking to him, but he doesn't react or so much as glance at them. He doesn't appear to be aware of them at all, his gaze bright and unfixed. The liquid in his collar is faded, but not pale, more of a sky blue.]

You're so quiet today. What are you thinking about, Aoi?

Comments

[vermicompost]

Sakura and Rin are playing on the swings, over there. I'm sure they'll be glad to see you.

[He turns his head, looking at a point far from any shadow children.

You're worthless, Kariya. You've always been worthless. You're nothing but a piece of rotting meat. Zouken's voice, distinctive to anyone who knows it, is a hiss. He's one shadow who doesn't appear intimidated by Lancer's approach, but Kariya doesn't seem to hear him.]

[puppy_lancer]

[He scratches his head. He can't see anything over there.]

Uh...right.

[He falls silent for a moment.]

I've also brought a few people along.

[He motions to one shadow child, and then another.]

This one is my Master, Misaya. And this one is my son.

[vermicompost]

[Kariya doesn't think it's strange when two people seem to be standing there when before he saw none.]

Hello! It's nice to meet you both. I'm Kariya, and this is my wife, Aoi.

[Instead of a "Master", Kariya assumes that this is Lancer's friend. The War doesn't exist, for him.]

I've heard so much about your son. It's wonderful to finally see him, isn't it, Aoi? You look so much like your father.

[What Kariya thinks he's heard is anyone's guess. He addresses the child he thinks he sees.]

Would you like to play with Rin and Sakura?

[puppy_lancer]

How about it, kid, wanna go play?

[He "pats" his shadow child on the back though his hand goes right through.]

Be careful, though. You're strong.

['So is this who you choose to eke out your existence with, Father? A pathetic man swallowed up by his delusions?'

'And yet you would cling to it, even at the cost of throwing away your honor.']

[Lancer frowns.]

Oh come on, that wasn't a very nice thing to say.

[vermicompost]

They'll have fun together, I know.

[Sakura and Rin are strong, too, if in a different way.

Kariya blinks. He didn't hear anything, of course. He can't hear others' shadow children, but he doesn't even hear his own anymore--although Zouken especially seems to enjoy hissing in his ear, closer to him than the other shadows, sapping his life energy.]

What do you mean?

[puppy_lancer]

Oh, he just...said something unpleasant about you. I guess he's never seen someone like you before.

['Weak, stupid, delusional. But you're not far off. You still think you can fix things by pretending to play with me.'

'At least he remembers the people he left behind. You don't think about them at all.']

[vermicompost]

Oh.

[Kariya's slightly taken aback. That's... rude. But then, Lancer can be somewhat rough around the edges, so maybe his child is the same? Some children are more frank than others.]

That's fine. Children can be like that sometimes. I don't mind.

Maybe I am a little different.

[He laughs, turning to Aoi again.]

[puppy_lancer]

If you say so.

[His shadow children slink away to join the other ones off to the side.]

Are you...doing alright with everything lately? Find anything to get rid of the worms?

[vermicompost]

Worms?

[Kariya blinks again, completely confused by this. He can't even concoct an alternate version of what Lancer might be saying.]

What do you mean?

But yes, everything's been fine. Shinji and the girls are doing well in school.

[puppy_lancer]

Those worms from your magecraft.

[He's getting an uneasy feeling from all this.]

There's no school here. Not for Shinji or your girls.

[vermicompost]

I'm sorry, Lancer, I--I don't understand what you're talking about.

[He does look sorry. He's genuinely confused.]

Of course there's a school. I take them there every day. It's not far from here.

[puppy_lancer]

It's...

[He shakes his head.]

Do you remember anything about this place? The Tower? What happened to Rin and Sakura?

[vermicompost]

This place? Of course I remember it. It's the park. We always come here.

What tower? Unless you mean Fuyuki Tower, I don't know what you're talking about.

[Now he's frowning, because Lancer's making him feel uneasy.]

Rin and Sakura are fine.

[He glances toward them, and is relieved to see they're still swinging on the swings, happily.]

[puppy_lancer]

They are now, but...they left. A few weeks ago. Don't you remember?

[vermicompost]

No, nothing like that happened. Where would they have gone? They've always been with their mother and me.

[puppy_lancer]

They went back to their worlds, didn't they?

[The worlds that are now just wastelands.]

[vermicompost]

Worlds?

[He laughs, although he's still a bit concerned, for Lancer's sake.]

Lancer, what's gotten into you today? This is our world. Where else would we be?

[puppy_lancer]

...Our world? Kariya, we're from different worlds. What's gotten into you today?

[And Lancer's shadow children launch into cruel, tittering laughs as they see his confusion..]

[vermicompost]

Lancer, that's--that doesn't make any sense. How can we be from different worlds?

We've been friends since we were in school together.

Are you all right? [He looks really worried now.]

[puppy_lancer]

I'm fine.

[He rubs at his eyes. He's just tire.]

I'm not your school friend. I'm a Servant. I got dropped here and met you and now we're friends.

...Do you remember Lancelot? Or Claudia? Or Diarmuid? If you do, who are they to you?

[vermicompost]

Ah, I--

[He breaks off for a moment, confused, his brain trying desperately to make some sense of this new information.]

Of course I do. They're my friends.

Listen to yourself, Lancer. The things you're saying don't make any sense. How could that be true?

[puppy_lancer]

B-because it is!

[The things he had lived through could be called strange, even to a user of magic. But he can vouch that everything is true.]

[vermicompost]

No, it isn't.

Just think of what you've said. That's not--rational. Different worlds, people disappearing, us not being friends...

You really don't remember?

Lancer... I'm worried about you.

[puppy_lancer]

I...I really can't. But I know I'm remembering the right things!

[Maybe if the glamour flickers, Kariya will see.]

[vermicompost]

[Sorry, Lancer, it's not the glamour anymore. It is 100% all in Kariya's mind. The park, the street, the children, Aoi, the school, Fuyuki... it's all quite real to him.]

Maybe you've been working too hard.

If you'd like, you could come to stay with Aoi and me for a little while. I know it's not exactly a vacation, since we live so close, but you could rest and have someone look after you. That could be nice.