[open] // do what we must because we can

[fionnuisce]

Characters: Waver and open
Setting: Floor 27, cafeteria, dorm floors
Format: Either
Summary: Tea, science, and sleep are Waver's priorities. In that order.
Warnings: None yet.

[floor 27]

[Waver had spent the majority of his time in the laboratory; being the leader of the group researching the clear collar fluid, he might have felt obligated even if it didn't fascinate him. Luckily (for some value of the word), he was a researcher that often became utterly absorbed in his work to the point of forgetting everything else. 'Minor' things like sleeping and eating, for example.]

[Though he hid it the best he could, if the ponytail-wearing magus looked exhausted that was likely no one's imagination. Today he was looking over his own hastily-written notes and narrowing his eyes at the container of fluid itself as though it had perhaps insulted his mother, thin cloud of cigarette smoke hanging in the air in front of him.]

[cafeteria]

[It was a remarkably simple thing, tea. Last time it was available, Waver had taken quite a bit of it to store in his trunk (along with a whole lot of alcohol.)]

[Then, glamour failure. If asked for one petty thing Waver would never forgive the administrators for, he would always answer with that.]

[Needless to say, he'd finally dragged himself away from his work long enough to enjoy the shift in provisions. Today in the cafeteria one could find a magus in a black and green suit sitting by himself, looking over near-incomprehensible notes with a cup of tea in his hand.]

[And if one happens upon him in the evening, it's likely he's minding his own business and leaving with a bottle of wine or two, liquid mercury maid trailing a step behind him.]

[dorm floors]

[Only at some ungodly hour did Waver finally give up for the night and leave the laboratory, Volumen Hydragyrum behind him carrying two bottles of wine. If he was willing to stop at all, it was likely he'd reached his physical limit or damn near to it. Sure enough, it had been several days since he slept a full night--or slept, period. As a result Waver was pale and walking just a little unsteadily, but at least he didn't seem ready to drop dead.]

[Drop into a coma when he got to his room, sure. But not drop dead.]

Comments

[oathshackledbird]

Oh, I could be, but that might get just a little awkward.

[Diarmuid grins down at Waver.]

Don't you think?

[fionnuisce]

Yes, it would. [FROWN.] Which is why you can't do it.

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid pouts slightly, but it's obvious from the twinkle in his eyes that what he says next is a joke.]

Aw...and here I was looking forward to sharing the shower with you in the mornings...

[fionnuisce]

--!

[One might have been forgiven for thinking Waver had suddenly contracted a fever ranging somewhere around the temperature of the sun, with how fast he flushed bright scarlet.]

[oathshackledbird]

[Predictably the reaction causes Diarmuid to break out into a fit of laughter. He buries his head in Waver's hair, trying to muffle it and failing.]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it...

[fionnuisce]

Y-y-you idiot! Don't just say things like that out of nowhere!

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid laughs a couple more times before pulling himself together and raising his face from Waver's hair.]

I know... You're right. If someone heard they might get the wrong idea. I'm sorry.

[Not that the two of them sitting as they are on Waver's bed with their arms around each other doesn't give a certain kind of wrong idea anyway, but details!]

[fionnuisce]

R-right. You should be more careful.

[oathshackledbird]

Is that all that is bothering you?

[Concern creeps into the good humor on Diarmuid's face.]

I'm not crossing a line I should not cross, am I? Getting too personal? You would tell me if I was really upsetting you, right?

[fionnuisce]

It's fine, Diarmuid. Don't worry so much.

[oathshackledbird]

You know how fruitless it is to tell me that, right?

[Diarmuid laughs, letting the concern melt off his face.]

I need a lot more alcohol in my system to keep me from worrying.

[fionnuisce]

You and me both, frankly.

[Waver laughed, a quiet sound that was a little more humorless than he'd hoped.]

...you know, sometimes I worry this really could be impossible. That even if we win, maybe we can't win outright and restore everything to the way it was.

[oathshackledbird]

Even a small victory is a victory.

[Diarmuid reaches down for the bottle of wine he had grabbed but not started to drink and holds it out to Waver.]

If we can't win straight out, we win one step at a time. First we get ourselves more freedom to work, then we get ourselves more time to work. At some point, we get ourselves a safe place to work. After that, we just keep going until we fix everything.

[fionnuisce]

[For a moment he seemed hesitant to let go; after a pause Waver compromised by pulling back just enough to maintain physical contact but still allow himself enough room to take the offered bottle and start drinking again.]

That's not what I mean. We can throw around all the optimism and encouraging words we like, but everyone here has to acknowledge that there's a very real possibility we could either die or fail to find any way to restore our homeworlds.

[oathshackledbird]

Waver, they realize it, believe me.

[Diarmuid's words are soft as he settles his arms back around his friend, careful to make sure he has enough room to drink as he wishes.]

They just choose not to focus on it, because if they do it will become far too easy to let those worries and fears keep them from doing what they need to do to succeed.

There is an old story about a man who regularly did the impossible. Not because he was a god or because he had special skills, but because he didn't know he shouldn't be able to do those things. All he knew was that it was something he wanted to do. The same applies here. We know we could fail, but we choose to focus on succeeding because it is what we want. More than that, it is what we need. Energy spent on worrying, is energy that should be used succeeding. It is why the man was successful, after all. He didn't waste energy on anything that didn't help him succeed.

[fionnuisce]

Do they? Even I've been trying to insist to myself that this will definitely work when I've seen no blasted evidence that it really can.

[Waver shook his head in defeat once Diarmuid had finished speaking, taking another drink.]

Of course, it's stupid to waste time and energy on what doesn't help. Even so, blindly moving forward with no thought to consequence or alternative possibilities is suicide.

[oathshackledbird]

So you think we need an alternative plan of some sort?

[Diarmuid can't blame Waver for being worried and angry. He feels the same way. In fact, he would worry a lot less if he could take his own advice, but since when has Diarmuid been any good at that? He hates seeing Waver so down, though. And that is why he's trying to distract him with constructive thought.

Though how constructive it will be is up for debate with how much Waver has already drank tonight.]

Is there something specific you have been thinking about?

[fionnuisce]

I don't know, and that's the problem. I can't plan for things like this when I don't comprehend the details of our circumstances. Especially when the circumstances themselves are so fucking absurd I can't begin to work them out.

[oathshackledbird]

I understand, Waver. You know I do. I'm the one who has an ability that helps me plan, remember? The ability that is being driven more than a little haywire because of how absurd everything around here is? But if we let that stop us, then nothing will get done. It's a good idea to have an alternative plan, but until we know enough to form one, isn't it okay if we keep working to move forward on the one we do have? Maybe it's not the best and maybe it will fail, but it's better than being caught up in all we don't know and doing nothing.

[fionnuisce]

...you're right. If we screw ourselves over, at least we'll have tried, right?

[oathshackledbird]

Trying is the most we can do.

[Diarmuid grins and then rests his head against Waver's]

Until we succeed. Then we can celebrate for real with alcohol that actually tastes good.

[fionnuisce]

If we succeed at all.

[oathshackledbird]

We will succeed.

[Diarmuid gives Waver a squeeze.]

And if we don't, that last night we can drink all the bad wine and pass it happily celebrating the extra time we had with our friends as a way to show the Administrators we still won something because we knew a kind of friendship, love, hope and happiness they will never know.

How is that for an alternative plan?

[fionnuisce]

...can't really argue with that, I suppose. Just a little stupid optimism never really hurt anyone.

[oathshackledbird]

Realism isn't a bad thing either. In the end, it is going to be a balance of both that gets us through this.

[Diarmuid shakes his head.]

After all, I don't think trying something like that collar fluid boycott will work so well again. We are still lucky that we didn't end up suffering more than we did for it.