you should smile, little thing

[infesting]

Characters: au kariya & open.
Setting: out & about. .. ngl he's probs lost.
Format: i action-spam, but feel free to reply in prose if that's more comfortable for you.
Summary: this is one upset little body horror.
Warnings: body.. horror via worm infestation?

[ waking up in a strange place when he'd just been with lancelot had been not only jarring, but extremely upsetting. he'd spent the first few minutes in a terrified haze, vainly searching the room for his servant. he can't sense him anymore, though the seal remains on the back of his right hand. so.. shouldn't that mean he's still here? he'd said he wouldn't leave kariya. he'd sworn it, that he'd be by his side as long as he could.

that had been before saber, though. before he realized he'd have to fight his king for the grail. that he'd have to choose between her and a little boy he barely knew. maybe.. maybe he'd made his decision.

there are letters, but kariya can't focus to read them right now. he's upset and frightened and he hurts. he always hurts these days. father says the pain is a good thing, that it means the crest worms are making him stronger, to take care of his family. kariya doesn't understand it, of course, but if it's what father says, then it must be the truth.

father isn't here. lancelot is gone, father is gone, and kariya is all alone in a strange place and he doesn't know what to do.

he has the presence of mind to fold up the letter, tucking it into a pocket. he slips out, then, little bare feet silent on the floor. he has no idea where he is, and there are rooms everywhere, and stairs, and-- he has no idea where he should go or where he should begin looking. surely, after all, this is a test. father likes testing him. so.. so he can't cry, because crying doesn't do any good. and anyway, it always makes father angry. instead, he takes a deep breath, picks a direction, and starts walking.


residents of the tower may later find a small, white-haired boy with an eyepatch and bare feet wandering the various halls and rooms. ]

Comments

too lazy to switch accounts, gomen

[unhealing]

[Claudia could tell him that she'll get the door herself, but she doesn't. She worries—but she also understands what it's like to be on the other side of this, and how frustrating it is to be made to feel as though you can't do anything on your own. Also, opening the door would be a little tricky to do while keeping everything balanced.]

[Even so, the first thing she does when the door opens is smile and say,] You didn't have to. Thank you. [Normally, she would lean up and kiss Kariya, too, but she supposes that'll just have to wait until she isn't quite so loaded down.]

[It's only once she has greeted Kariya that she looks past him and into his room—and, naturally, spots the child on the bed almost immediately. The similarities between one and the other are instantly apparent, and they bring her up short.]

...Ah! [And then, because she's not really sure what else to say or what conclusions she should jump to, she says,] Hello.

i was wondering who this mysterious stranger was!

[vermicompost]

You're welcome. Oh, let me take that for you--

[Kariya tries to help, regardless of the fact that he only has one arm. When Claudia notices Kariya, he smiles, looking between the two of them.]

Claudia, this is Kariya--Kariya, this is Claudia, my girlfriend.

[He hopes it's all right to say that...]

Kariya just arrived here.

[infesting]

[ before big-kariya is even making introductions, he hops off the bed, hurrying across the floor and lifting his arms to take the pot from them both. he curls both arms around it carefully, shuffling over to a table to set it carefully down.

he turns back to them, then, offering a polite little bow, fingers curling nervously in his shirt. ]

Hello, Claudia-san. It's very nice to meet you. [ he hesitates, then lifts a hand to his own hair, tugging at the strands lightly. ] .. Do you have Crest Worms, too..? [ it wouldn't make much sense, since she's not part of the matou family, but she's really young to have such white hair. ]

[unhealing]

[She doesn't have a problem relinquishing the bowls and ladle to Kariya, but she hangs onto the pot. Or, at least, she tries to, before the younger one takes it from her instead. For a second, she feels a little overwhelmed... But, for as odd as the introduction is, it's not as though this is the first time she has had to deal with something like this.]

Oh, thank you, but you didn't have to. [Her arms feel strangely light after holding onto those things for so long, and she isn't quite sure what to do with them now, so she smoothes her skirt and laces her fingers together in front of herself.] It's nice to meet you, too. I know it's scary, being brought here at first, so let me know if there's anything I can do to help you, okay?

—Oh. [For a second, she seems taken aback by the question, but then she smiles gently, if not entirely cheerfully.] Oh, no, I was born with this hair color. It runs in my family, it seems.

[vermicompost]

Thank you for bringing me this. You're the one who didn't have to--Lancelot could always go down for me. But I appreciate it.

[He smiles, happily. She's always so kind to him. He's so lucky. At her words to the other Kariya, he nods.]

That's right, if there's anything we can do to help you, just ask. No matter what it is.

[He adds to Claudia's words:]

There are other people here with white hair, too. I think it's more common in other worlds. There isn't anyone else here with Crest Worms.

[infesting]

[ like a.. homunculus, maybe, then? but if big-kariya and claudia are.. dating? is that the right word for it..? if they're dating, then claudia probably isn't a homunculus. and if a lot of people here have the same colour..

it's very strange here.

at the offers, he shakes his head slightly, little face serious. ] I'll be okay, Claudia-san, Kariya-san. I have to protect the family, after all, so I'm a lot stronger than I look.

[ he fidgets a little, shoulders hunching slightly. stronger, yes, though still a little bit terrified of how alone he could be here. father isn't there to tell him what to do, and lancelot isn't around to prompt him toward good decisions. ]

.. Is-- Is Claudia-san going to be your wife, Kariya-san? [ he glances uncertainly between them, not entirely sure he understands what 'girlfriend' really implies. ]

[unhealing]

I made it myself, so I wanted bring it to you myself. [Even if it would probably be warmer if Lancelot was the one to bring it. She imagines he can get up the stairs quicker than the elevator can, after all.] I know the menu isn't always the best for you...

[But Kariya's appreciation makes her happy, so she smiles, if somewhat bashfully.]

[When the smaller Kariya replies, the seriousness of his answer and expression catches her off-guard, and in a way, it makes her sad. She hesitates for a second, but then she takes a step closer to him, lowering herself down to one knee in front of him. She matches his seriousness, but her tone remains gentle.]

Maybe that's so, but it's okay to need help sometimes. Everyone does, so asking for it doesn't mean you're too weak to protect your family. I'm just asking you to say when there's something I can do for you, that's all.

[She's tempted to pat his head before she straightens up again, but before she can do either of these things, he asks about whether she's going to be Kariya's wife. Naturally, she squeaks and blushes and suddenly can't hold anyone's gaze. Maybe the correct way to answer this question is written on the floor. Or the ceiling. Or maybe that wall over there.]

A-ah, um...

[...Well, he asked Kariya, so she guesses she'll just have to leave the question to him!]

[vermicompost]

I'm sure it'll taste especially good, if you made it. No, the menu isn't that good this month, but I don't mind.

[Considering everything else that's wrong, food is the least of his worries.

When the young Kariya speaks about their family, Kariya frowns, slightly.]

That's--they don't...

[They don't deserve it, he wants to say, feeling a brief yet intense flicker of anger but this isn't the time or the place to say that. No one who would do that to a child deserves any protection, especially not from that same child.]

I'm sure you're more than strong enough, but everyone needs help sometimes, like Claudia said. There's nothing wrong with it.

[At the younger Kariya's question, Kariya might blush himself, but he doesn't really have the blood supply for that, so he swallows, awkwardly. He's not sure how to answer the question. He glances nervously at Claudia, hoping he won't say anything wrong.]

We just started dating, and usually people date for a year or more before getting married, so we'll have to wait and see.

[That isn't true everywhere, especially not in the magus world, but Kariya isn't concerned with that.]

[infesting]

[ kariya's.. not sure what to do with this offer of help. everyone has been so nice to him here so far (even shinji, in his own way, though his abrasive personality throws kariya off), even though the only person who's been this kind to him before is his servant. and.. really, as much as he loves and appreciates lancelot, isn't it in his best interests to take care of his master? so it's.. different coming from people who have no real reason to be kind to him. granted, big-kariya is another version of him, but they're not the same version. so it's.. weird.

still, after a moment, he frowns faintly at big-kariya, planting his hands on his hips. ]

Kariya-san, I think I can maybe be more help to you. I've had the Crest Worms a really long time, after all, and Father taught me a bunch of stuff. [ he worries a little at his lip again, gaze drawn to the empty sleeve. ] And I can carry stuff and help out.

[ he glances back up at claudia, then, hands finally falling from his hips, fingers curling in the hem of his shirt in his usual nervous gesture. he rocks back and forth slightly on little bare feet, the tops of his ears colouring. ] Well, if you do become Kariya-san's wife, I'm glad. You seem really n-nice, Claudia-san. Maybe Father will pick someone like you for me, too.

[sicharia]

[Kariya's response to his younger self's question is a good one, and Claudia relaxes once it is given. But talking about getting married is still strange to her, because she isn't sure if they'll ever have the opportunity to make that decision, and she doesn't know that's something she should want. So, rather than respond to any statement about her, she focuses on Kariya, offering him another soft smile.]

I hope you'll be able to pick for yourself, so you can find someone that's kind and that you love. That's what marriage should be about.

[And then she pats the top of his head, light and quick, and stands again. She won't say anything about his offer to help Kariya—that's for the two of them to discuss.]

...Ah, hm, do you want to eat now? [The question is directed at the older Kariya, but then she looks to the younger, too. She had only brought two bowls up, but she doesn't mind being the only one not having any.] It's just broth, and it probably isn't very warm anymore, but...

[vermicompost]

[Maybe Father will pick someone like you for me, too.

The words make him so angry, he feels sick. They seem to encapsulate every reason he left home.]

He's dead.

[The words come from Kariya's mouth before he has time to think better of them.]

Your father's dead.

[Then he's suddenly and horribly glad. He knows he's an awful person, because everyone in his world was killed, and for a terrible moment, he's only viciously, bitterly happy that his father died with them. He's angry, so angry. What they'd do to a child--! His family deserved to die.]

He won't make you do anything now.

[Having said this, Kariya looks perplexed, then determined. He can feel his heartbeat quicken. He knows he shouldn't get excited; it'll only agitate the worms.]

I don't need any help. I'm going to get rid of the worms. I don't care what I have to do. They're not real anyway. I have no use for them.

[Sorry, Claudia, he got distracted, and he doesn't answer the question about the soup.]

[infesting]

[ when claudia goes to pat his head, he flinches beneath her hand, though he stills when he realizes that it isn't meant to hurt. he's not entirely sure what the purpose of the gesture is, but it seems to be something claudia needed to do, so he doesn't mind it. the idea of choosing his own wife (a word which still has a nebulous, puzzling meaning, though he at least knows they're generally ladies) is such a foreign concept to him that it's actually a little bit upsetting. father makes all the decisions, after all.

he realizes he's made a mistake, though, when big-kariya speaks. the reminder that his father and lancelot and everyone he loves and should have been able to protect are all dead, spoken so bluntly, makes him immediately duck his head. his hands clench in his shirt, wide, upset gray eye staring unseeingly down at his feet. he's trembling suddenly, fear crawling up his spine. he'd let himself get too comfortable, to speak too boldly to people. they're grown-ups, after all, and kariya-- ]

I'm s-s-sorry, Kariya-san. [ he can barely eke it out, voice shaking almost as badly as the rest of him. he knows better than to ask not to be punished, but it's still terrifying. there's no basement here, he thinks, no father with a cane or painful spells. but that just means the familiarity is gone. ]

[sicharia]

[Claudia immediately stiffens, startled by the abrupt turn of events, and for a second, she isn't sure what to do or who to go to first. Her first impulse is to go to the child before the adult, so she does so, kneeling down again. This time, she doesn't move to touch him; his reaction to her touch to his head shortly before wasn't lost on her.]

[Gently, she tells him:]

It's all right. You haven't done anything wrong.

[She looks up to the elder one, then, her lips parting just barely—but she doesn't know what to say to him. She wants to go to him, too, her expression one of concern above all else, but at the same time, she feels obligated to stay beside a trembling child. She looks back to him again.]

He isn't upset with you.

[vermicompost]

[Of course, Kariya feels instantly sorry when he sees he's made the child upset, but he doesn't regret his words or think he's wrong. Zouken deserved to die for what he'd done. Kariya would have killed him himself, if he could have. Even if the worlds are restored, somehow, Zouken shouldn't be. He'll have to figure out some way to keep him dead. Even if he doesn't know how that's possible.]

No, I'd never be upset with you. Never.

[Not as cautious as Claudia, he goes to the younger Kariya and tries to put his arms around him, to hold him. Blood gathers at the corner of his mouth, his heart beating harder for all his efforts.]

It's all right. Don't be afraid. No one will hurt you, not if I can help it.

[He'll kill them.]

[infesting]

[ he stiffens as kariya's arm comes around him, shaking and uncertain, not recognizing the gesture for several moments. eventually, though, it comes to him-- it's been a long time since he's had one, but isn't this a hug? when he'd been younger, before he'd been forbidden from visiting kariya, his older brother had given him hugs after trips to the basement. he'd wrapped kariya up in a blanket in his lap and read from a book of fairy tales. .. kariya's forgotten what the stories were like, almost forgotten his brother's face, but he remembers the warmth. of course, now he has lancelot, and while lancelot doesn't hug him precisely, he does hold him and pick him up to carry, and he's kind and warm and everything, everything that's good and worth protecting in the world.

but this is a hug, definitely, and it's not from his brother and it's not from lancelot, but from someone who really has absolutely no reason to care about him or what happens to him. he doesn't know how he's supposed to respond to it, or even if he's allowed, but even so-- he realizes somewhat belatedly that his hands have come up, clutching at big-kariya's shirt as if it's the only thing in the world keeping him from falling through the floor into oblivion. he takes a shuddering, tear-laced breath, blinking moisture away from his good eye. ]

I-- I don't-- [ he hiccups on a sudden, overwhelmed little sob. ] I don't-- understand. Wh-Why are you b-both being-- so nice to me?

[sicharia]

[She sees the way Kariya stiffens at first, and she automatically tenses as well. It's only when his arms come up and reciprocate the action that she shifts closer to the pair of them, one hand coming up to settle softly in the child's hair—and the other resting against adult-Kariya's back with equal gentleness.]

[The question catches her off-guard, too. She never quite knows how to respond when anyone says something like that to her, and when those words come from a child, they're upsetting on top of confusing. Someone so young shouldn't see reason to ask that question.]

Why wouldn't we be? [Her brow knits together even as the words leave her mouth, fingertips brushing the ends of his hair.] There's no reason not to.

[vermicompost]

Because we care about you.

[He holds the other Kariya tight. He doesn't care about why, he just knows that he does care, for a lot of reasons, and that's what matters. It's not just because this child is him in a way; they've had different lives and are from different worlds. It's because he genuinely cares what happens to him. Their childhoods were different, but not completely different. Childhood had been very hard for him, too. He understands his suffering, and he wants to end it, no matter what that takes. Every child should have someone who loves them.

Encouraged by Kariya's hands touching his shirt and Claudia's hand against his back, he leans down to kiss the top of Kariya's head.]

So don't worry. You won't be alone.

[infesting]

[ now he really is crying, and he should be ashamed of himself. he's too old for it, and crying never fixes anything, and he's supposed to be strong. but his family is dead, and lancelot is dead, and these people are being nice to him and telling him they care and he won't be alone, and it's all just too much.

he hiccups again, burying his face in kariya's neck, clutching at him with small, shaking hands. ] I'm s-- I'm s-sorry--! [ he can't stop, though he knows he should. big-kariya is a lot sicker, and the worms have eaten a lot more of him, and he knows he shouldn't be clutching him like this. but he feels safe like this, and the only person he's ever felt this safe with is lancelot. ]

[sicharia]

[Claudia is sure that there are a lot of things in play here that she doesn't know about or understand, but that doesn't change the fact that just having a crying child in front of her is enough to make her feel—protective. She remains where she is, close to both Kariyas, her fingertips brushing the child's hair as she murmurs out a gentle, hushing sound.]

It's all right. [Then:] It'll be all right.

[She can't say she knows for sure what he's trying to apologize for, but she does know that he hasn't done anything he needs to apologize about.]