towerofanimus | Curiousity killed the cat

Entry tags:

[ou] suzaku kururugi

Curiousity killed the cat

Characters: Suzaku and Lelouch
Setting: Starting in dorm floors and going to floor 101
Format: Either
Summary: Suzaku has been good, done what Diarmuid told him and left Lelouch well alone. But curiosity gets the best of him at the end
Warnings: Angsty, angry boys, mind wipe, betrayal, Code Geass awfulness also spoilers

Suzaku had been working hard all month, focusing on the collar researching and doing his best to avoid Lelouch and Rolo. But he couldn't put the matter out of his mind. Diarmuid had told him to leave it but he had to know. If this was a Lelouch from another world then his worries would be for nothing. Even though it was still not healthy for Rolo it was safe and Suzaku couldn't exactly begrudge happiness, since these would be the last months Rolo was alive. Even if the worlds were restored... Rolo was dead.

However is Suzaku was right, if this Lelouch was from his own world, having lost his memories due to Geass. He could be dangerous to Rolo, and to others if the glamour went off. It had flickered a bit the last month and Suzaku had heard nothing, but he needed proof.

So he was at his door, Arthur in his arms, teeth sunk into a finger and his gun at his side like always. He knocked.

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"How have I hurt him? All that I remember is having been kind to him since he has been with me." He didn't comment on the first bit. He knew what he had done was wrong... He regretted it and if he could apologize, he would.

"And if you met him here, on this floor would you be so kind?" He pressed on, angry that he had just brushed off the first comment.

Lelouch was quick to answer that one, "No, he's not my brother. He's not anything to me."

Suzaku stepped into his space within moments, hand coming to grab the front of Lelouch's shirt. "He cares for you. If our powers get turned off, if you end up on a powerless floor with him. You won't do anything to hurt him. I will not allow you to break his heart."

Lelouch was quick to move the gun underneath Suzaku's chin as he was grabbed and threatened. He glared daggers at the other, almost daring him to try something else.

"Why do you care so much? Are you the one that put him up to pretending to be my brother? I'm sure you told him to keep tabs on me since I'm so 'out of control' as you say. If he gets in my way, I will get rid of him; just like I'll get rid of you as well. You're both enemies of mine and I will never forgive you for your betrayal."

"I put him up to nothing." He glared back at him, daring him to pull the trigger. The words tore into him but he let them, they were the hatred he craved, the punishment for all his crimes. "But I care about him. I won't let you hurt him, I will not let you hurt anyone in this tower. This is not Britannia, and if you try anything I will stop you."

"You should know by now - I'm not afraid of you. I'm not afraid of anyone here. Even if I don't have my Geass, I will do what I can to get out of here. I'm not finished with Britannia or the Emperor. You can live a lie as long as you'd like with my fake brother, but I will not."

"I am not living a lie." His eyes glinted, "I am fighting to get out, I won't stop you in that. But I will not allow you to hurt the others here, to throw their lives away as well."

"What does it honestly matter, Suzaku? They're just as much garbage as everyone else we knew at home. They're insignificant and just in the way. This place could get overpopulated someday... What do you think those administrators will do?"

Lelouch's lips curled into a small smile as he looked at the other, staring at his eyes, "You hate me too, don't you? I've always been the villain to you. You don't understand anything at all and I don't think that you ever will."

"See this is why..." He took a deep breath, he wasn't going to get angry. It wasn't worth it. "No one is insignificant. If you wish to fight to get home do so, but do not sacrifice others to get there."

He shoved Lelouch at that, but did not let go of his shirt. "I don't hate you. But it is you that doesn't understand anything at all."

Lelouch retaliated at the shove, slapping him across the face as hard as he could. It hurt to be shoved and then pulled back but now ot was almost like he was trying to shake him like he was some child. That pissed him off. Now he was mad; furious, even. So furious that he had forgotten about the gun in his other hand since he moved it out of the way when he slapped Suzaku.

"What don't I understand?! Explain to me what makes everything look right and how nothing is wrong for you!"

His head turned slightly at the slap. It was the fact Lelouch had slapped him, rather than the slap itself that hurt. He didn't move though, just stared at Lelouch steadily.

"Our worlds are similar but not identical, everyone comes from a different world." He told him, his voice struggling to stay calm. "In the world I am from I am ahead of you in time."

"What are you talking about?! You're speaking nonsense! Let me go." He continued to glare, annoyed that the slap didn't even phase him.

"It is not nonsense. Just a fact of this place." He glared back, not letting go at all. "I come from a time further ahead than you. That is why you understand nothing."

Lelouch grabbed a fist full of hair on the other's head, jerking him as he continued to yell, "Let go of me! I am not listening to anything else you have to say! You're a liar and you betrayed me, Suzaku!"

He looked pained, yanking the other's head again as his voice cracked, "You ruined everything that I had worked so hard to do! I did it all to make things better - for Nunnally; for you even!"

Suzaku hissed in pain as his hair was pulled, but he didn't let go. He let the words hit him, allowed them to hurt him because he deserved this. Many of Lelouch's words were right and though a lot had changed from the time Lelouch had come from, Suzaku could not argue against such words.

"I am not lying." He swallowed his next hiss of pain, "And I'm sorry, for what I did."

Lelouch didn't let go, though he did loosen his grip once he had felt his point had been made. His voice was serious, though as he stared at Suzaku there was evident pain in his eyes.

"You let him win, Suzaku." He began. "When I leave this garden, I won't remember my real life or anything that happened. Maybe it's for the best since you want to protect Rolo so much."

"I know." He let go of Lelouch and knelt down, though Lelouch would not know it, it was a reverse of a conversation they had had before. "There are many things in my life that I regret, and what I did to you... was just one of them... If I could restore your memory I would... If you believe nothing else I have said today please believe that."

Lelouch blinked, looking down at him as he kneeled. His apology didn't change anything, but he did seem sincere. Though this wasn't the place to really be worried about something like this. He didn't have anything left... Once he left this room, he would be living a lie again.

He kneeled too, looking at Suzaku before he put his arms around the other. It was a loose hug, but a hug nonetheless. He was silent for a time as he kneeled.

"Suzaku, I don't forgive you but it does help that I know you regret what you did to me. There's nothing that can be done now... I know that when I leave here, I won't remember anything but I want to work together with you to get out of this place. Will you do this for me?"

Because... well everything. The last thing Suzaku was ready for was a hug. He froze, not sure what to do and then a moment later fell forward, not moving his arms but half returning the half hug.

He didn't want forgiveness, didn't deserve forgiveness and was glad it wasn't offered because he wouldn't have been able to accept it.

"Of course." He nodded, this was not the Lelouch he was sworn to as a knight, but he would still follow him, would still obey him. "I know you have no reason to trust me, but I will fight on your side." At Lelouch's side was the only place he had ever been able to change anything.

"Thank you." Was all he could muster to say. Awkwardly. He moved away, keeping the gun in his hand as he looked toward the stairs.

"You've kept us here long enough, I suppose we should head back before your friends here worry about you."

Suzaku didn't rise for a moment, but he did follow Lelouch's gaze to the stairs. They had been a while, and should probably go back. But Suzaku didn't want to, didn't want to go back to where Lelouch thought of him as just someone from school. A Lelouch without anything that made him... well him, Zero, the emperor. The person who faced down gods, the one would destroy the world and create it anew.

"I guess we should."

Lelouch offered a hand out to him so that he could stand. He didn't want to be so kind to him. He hated him for everything that he had done...yet, he wished Suzaku hated him too. He felt that this was almost something he had deserved. His memories being erased and feeling powerless. In a place like this, they needed to put their differences aside.

"Suzaku, I'm still here. Even if the Emperor did erase my memories, in places like these where his Geass can't affect me...I'm still myself. At least you didn't completely erase me."

After a short moment Suzaku took it, letting Lelouch pull him up. Another reversal. He blinked at the words, feeling guilt overtake him.

He nodded, "Can we come back here?" It sounded pathetic even to his own ears, but he would rather be with this Lelouch, even though he hated him, than a Lelouch that liked him, but who wasn't Lelouch.

Lelouch almost fell, leaning over far too much just to help someone stand. He was still as weak as he always had been. Though he did look amused as he listened to the other's question. Was he serious?

"You would rather come back here to speak with the real me that doesn't like you rather than the Geassed me that does?" He had no choice in the matter. Even if Suzaku was to blame for all of this that had happeened to him... He was his only real friend in this place. If only he knew that Rolo was really devoted to him, then he might have thought differently. He gave a nod, "If you'd like to."

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