towerofanimus | 018 - Let's go together...

[Knowledge can be a difficult burden to bear. She's always known that, almost since the very beginning of her life. What to tell, what to keep - how to deal with the facts in your own head. The truth is all too often ugly.]

[She hasn't read his mind when she steps down onto that particular floor to find that it's in the form of a very familiar beach. She does not look into his memories then, either, but as she looks up and sees him sitting there, she feels in an innate kind of way that she should probably go and keep him company.]

[She does, footsteps crunching faintly in the sand as she walks toward him, hesitating only a moment there before sitting herself neatly, wordlessly at his side.]

[Riku tenses for a moment when he hears footsteps behind him, but that tension drains away just as quickly when he spots Naminé while he glances over his shoulder (he definitely longs for the time when his abilities will all be more stable again and he will no longer have to rely on just sound and sight), and he smiles quietly as he watches her take place right at his side from the corner of his eye.

He is so glad for her presence, he doesn't really have words for it - Naminé is still and always the one person who understands his troubles best, who knows him maybe not quite better than Sora or Kairi, but certainly in a different way than either of them. It's her advice that he needs now, her help - some of those memories are still utterly muddled and there is one other issue that is starting to worry him...

Finally, after keeping to the silence between them for a few more minutes he snorts and shakes his head.]

I can't even remember the last time I felt this lost.

[Until now, for the majority of time, things had been clear, there had been no use to think about anything but how to survive to the next day, how to deal with the situations inside the tower. There hadn't been a thought to be wasted on home, not really. Not until now.]

[She does not hesitate at his tension. She knows it's justified, and though there is an unvoiced apology lingering in her throat, she does not say a word about it; he's smart enough to look before he strikes.]

[Instead she offers him all the more sympathetic a smile when she turns to regard him, head slightly tilted. She waits, too - waits for him to decide to speak. It wouldn't be too hard to ask him if he has need of her, to say anything else at all, but it seems like the sort of moment better left to silence, to quiet contemplation and a rare few minutes of peace.]

[It's at his voice that she turns her eyes from the (false) horizon and back to him. Her silent study of him only lasts another few moments before she very gently places her offer.]

Would you like to tell me about it?

[After all, it has so long been her duty to guide those who are lost, even when she was lost herself.]

[Smart enough to look and if he's totally honest, maybe a still a little too exhausted to put up much of a fight if he is attacked (the chances of that at daytime are thankfully slim enough, even with his pathetic luck stats).

He shoots her a faint smile though; she always knows him so well.]

If you don't mind.

[If there is anyone who can help him entangle this mess and figure out his way back on track, it's her.]

[Well, his luck stats came through at least in this one instance - or maybe it's just his Naminé stat, or something. Whatever the case, they're probably safer together than they are apart.]

[She knows him well enough to smile all the more warmly and all the more gently, too, not failing even for a moment to try to offer him something steadfast and calm.]

I don't mind. Not at all.

[If there's anyone she'd want to help with said mess, it's him.]

What's on your mind, Riku?

[His Naminé stat is definitely quite high (especially compared to his luck stat), and he's glad about that.

'What's on his mind' is definitely a difficult question though, there's so much of that after all. Finally, after a few minutes of trying to find the words, he sighs and shakes his head.]

Too many things at once, I guess. [Those flashes from the mirror, his worries about what Sora or Xion might have seen, his worries about other things... Though maybe he should just start at the beginning of things.] ...When we were hooked up in Riki's machine, we ended up in some kind of void after a while. There was a mirror there, that showed... light, I don't know.

It's images... moments from back home, but a lot of it is jumbled up. I'm pretty sure they are from a lot of different universes too.

[That's actually the only thing he's really sure about, considering how many times he remembers getting killed or losing himself.]

[Really, she is, too - he is now as ever a good partner in not-so-crime.]

[Fortunate as well that she is patient, and that that patience never wavers even for a moment as she waits for his answer. Further sympathy leaks into her expression at his eventual response. It's only now that she smile fades, replaced by a thoughtful look.]

Were they moments from the past, or something else? Do you believe that they were real, the things that you saw?

[Whether in their universe or any of the many, many others.]

[His lips press together as he lets his eyes drift off towards the horizon, mulling over how to answer that.]

Future, mostly... it's hard to tell at some points. They felt real...

[The moments that are the clearest - the horror of watching Xehanort assaulting Sora with- he isn't quite sure what it had been (or at least he hopes he's wrong), the relief, the happiness, the pleasure of being reunited with Sora and Kairi, of sharing just that one moment between them and thinking that maybe he would be allowed to return home after all... there are some things that just can't be faked.]

I think they are possibilities of what could have happened. And of what still might happen.

[That seems to be the most logical explanation for his strangely disjointed recollection of his confrontation with Roxas.]

[Nodding slowly once at the first part, she holds her silence. Listening, she grows and looks thoughtful.]

[She knows a thing or two about things that feel real, after all, and how they are not always - but it's also not an impossibility, not something she's willing to discount. His word counts for something.]

Maybe they are. I... can only tell you what happened up until the point that I came here, but--

[But she can also tell easily enough that he's troubled by this.]

... What exactly was it that you saw?

[It's really hard to tell and Riku has no idea how to feel about his new memories - he knows he should be so much more wary of them, but they feel right in a way he can't quite describe.

He shakes his head after a moment, trying to grasp at them, to word the things he's seen into proper sentences, but...]

I- ...There were glimpses of so many different things, and I think I saw a whole lot more than I remember of it.

[Still, he needs to try. He needs to share this with Naminé to try to make sure that they can make something of that.]

In one I was fighting Roxas... or trying to talk him down without a fight... or maybe both. I think it's two different moments... or universes, but it's hard to tell.

In another, I was facing some guy... he was wearing the cloak, but he wasn't someone I recognized... he said something about how I managed to "trap darkness inside my heart". How that made me useless to them.

[He doesn't even realize how he's reaching up then, how his right hand settle right above his heart and clenches in his shirt - recently, in the moments when his powers had been with him, he's been feeling an old Darkness rise, power he had thought sealed and dealt with up to now, and that is probably another thing that he and Naminé really ought to talk about at some point.]

...In one I was fighting Kairi, but I couldn't recognize her at all for some reason.

[He shakes his head again, faint distress flashing over his face.]

There are so many memories where I died or got lost, but... I think the worst was having to watch Xehanort mess with Sora's heart and being unable to stop it.

[She thinks in passing that perhaps she ought to offer to have a look for herself, to both use her own judgment in the matter and to save him the trouble of having to try to explain it.]

[But that's an intrusion she hesitates to make even a suggestion of. It doesn't matter whether he'd allow it; it troubles her to think of it. Besides... it may help him, she thinks, to talk his way through this. He's obviously got to sort it out in his own mind. Her bypassing it wouldn't provide him much benefit in that arena.]

It could have been a little bit of both. I'd have to hear the details. [But of course she's not about to interrupt him from the rest of this. Again she falls silent, eyes following the movement of his hand. If she were more the kind, she'd hold out her own if only to attempt to give him something to ground him. She doesn't, instead listening with her own but very well-contained distress - until the end. It's at that point that something in her expression shifts, like a realization or at least a reacting thought.]

Xehanort--? [But Xemnas was--.... She thinks of the memories she'd found in Sora's heart, of the contents of them.] When? What else was going on? [Except she knows that's too much to ask, and she reins herself in accordingly.] ... I'm sorry. I know it probably wasn't obvious.

[He would let her if she asked, he wouldn't mind - far from really, because it's hard to put it all into words, and maybe an outsider perspective would help with that jumbled mess.

Short cuts won't do though, they never do - so he'll just have to rely on recalling things best he can.

He shakes his head at her questions - he understands why she asks, he'll try to answer best he can, but he can't make any promises about it.]

Some point in the future, I think. After I got these... [He tugs at the new set of cloths the tower had provided him just months ago.]

I was... somewhere in the Castle That Never Was, probably. It was a round room, with thirteen thrones arranged in a circle... Sora was sleeping in one of them - funnily enough, I think he looked younger then he's in my time. Mickey and I tried to get him out, but... Xemnas and Ansem had us pinned. There was that guy from that other memory just sitting, just watching... all others had hoods up. ...Apart of Xehanort anyway.

[His eyes close as he thinks back to that scene he'd seen, the horror he had felt as he had struggled against Ansem's grip, eyes widening as he watches Xehanort summon his Keyblade, watches him split his heart, terrified when he aims at Sora-

He shudders. If that is something that might await them... He just has to stop it, somehow.]

We can't let it happen.

[She knows he would. Maybe that's why she can't bring herself to do it - she's been left with such an awful sort of taste in her mouth from her previous uses of her powers. It would feel almost like sullying him, somehow, even if it's probably a more practical course of action.]

[If not for the other evidence provided and his word that he thought it was the future, her first instinct would be to think it an unrealized past, if only because of Sora's apparent age.]

[She may not be able to see in her mind's eye exactly what it is that he did, but she can guess at it - and it's horrible enough just hearing about it. Her blood feels cold in her veins. Even though she knew the road ahead of them was to be risky, for things to have become so dire--]

I know the room you're talking about.

[Saw it enough times in Roxas' memories, anyway.]

You're right - that's where it belongs. [Inasmuch as anything belonged, there.] But the others - they couldn't have been members of the Organization, could they? When I left, they were all--....

[....]

They were all gone. I guess maybe that doesn't mean anything - not if Ansem and Xemnas were there.

[It's strange, seeing him shudder. Though she holds firm, herself, her spine threatens to make her do the same.]

... No. We can't. But I don't know if there's anything I can do, not after-- I go back to Kairi.

Edited 2014-03-09 06:53 (UTC)

[And that's another reason why he doesn't ask - he knows well enough that she isn't comfortable with her powers, that using them like that is not something she likes doing.

There is no way for him to be totally sure about it, there is nothing but the fact that it feels right somehow, especially form the other fragments he remembers. In any case, the room in that memory does in fact exist and with it there is the chance that maybe one day he will be trapped in exactly that helpless moment.

His head snaps up when she trails off like that, at the sentence that follows - he had never asked her about her universe, about his possible future beyond Sora would awaken or not and the idea that they actually manage to take care of most of the Organization in one way or another...

Well, it's in the future; one way or another.]

I guess, they might have been... though if it's really in the future, they might not be the ones we know of.

[His eyes drift away again as he combs through the memories again - he knows that she is right about her fate; he recall seeing her in any of those memories and thinking too much about that is definitely faintly distressing.]

[Using them for anything is not something she likes doing - although the less invasive sorts of things are less objectionable to her.]

[She wouldn't mention any of these things without it being at his request if not for the situation. This is something they have to discuss with all the resources and information available. It's too important not to, especially when she's not sure if she would even still exist at that point in time.]

[But she notes the way his head snaps up and she knows she's made a confession regarding her own status in the future. The first cannot be helped and the second, to her, is largely irrelevant.]

... Yes, that's true. I suppose--... if Xemnas somehow survived, he might try to reform the Organization with new members. [She shakes her head slightly, thinking out loud.] There are so few Nobodies with human form, though. There could easily be more out there, but-- how many people were there, in your vision?

[It isn't irrelevant to him - for all that he might understand the reasons behind it. Not when she is one of the few people that he utterly and fully trusts. (Just one of two really.)

Not when she's his friend.

There is nothing he can say or do to change the way things will have to be though, is there? No matter how much he wants there to be. In any case, there are other things to put his focus on right now. He tries to count off the cloaks best he can form memory - it's easy with the first four, he can put faces on them, but the rest...]

...Twelve or thirteen, I think.

[It's part of why she hasn't discussed her fate with him in detail before; because she knows, even with her tendency to underestimate her own value to others, that it's not something that will sit well with him. But it's futile, it's inevitable - there's no point in fighting it, no point in troubling him with it. He'll move on, won't he? Once she's gone - it'll be like she was never there at all.]

[Maybe it's a cruel way to look at things.]

Twelve or thirteen....

[She sort of breathes it out, eyes lowering. Even though she's not going to be the one to fight them - that's no better. Their ranks, then, are to be as full as ever.]

It makes me wonder if there's something about that number. That many new members.... [Hm.] You had no way of knowing whether they were actually Nobodies, right? ... It seems likely that not all of them were, given everything you've told me. So what goal would they share...?

[No; it won't be - for all that he probably won't ever say so out loud once she is gone, he will miss her terribly. Her quiet strength, her calmness, the way that she just knows him. It's different with her than with Sora or Kairi or even Mickey (though maybe quite as much with latter than with the two former). There will be a hole left where she was and Riku will move on because he must, because there is always work for a Keyblade bearer and maybe sometimes he'll see see her within Kairi and hope... and fiercely hate the way things have to be.

In any case... that's not the subject of their current discussion.]

No; I didn't see their faces. But with the old Xehanort and the Heartless among their numbers, being a Nobody is definitely not the common denominator between them.

[He frowns to himself; furiously clawing at those memories... they are just snatches of conversations... with that young guy in the cloak, with the Heartless, with DiZ and though they give some insight; it's not enough. He is missing too much.

A small hiss of frustration escapes him; if only...]

I wish remembered more. And clearer. But whatever they are planning... they definitely need Sora for it. And maybe me too.

[And it at least one, if not two timelines they had succeeded; Riku remembers the terror he had felt far too clearly, the sinking feeling of despair as he was forced to watch Xehanort work on Sora, the punch-in-the-gut-like horror upon finding the yellow-eyed Sora in Traverse Town...

He may not be totally clear on whatever the Organization- on what Xehanort is planning; but if there's one thing for sure, it's that they just can't let it happen. No matter what.]

[She'd be very contrite, were she more clearly aware that she might cause him such pain. As it is, she almost hopes not to - but at the same time, it's the sort of thing that would touch her, to know how he thinks of her, that he might miss her so. She's not sure whether she'll be able to miss him, once that time has come, but if she is....]

[Well, anyway.]

[She nods her understanding, quiet for a moment to leave him to his thoughts. (Really, though, she can almost feel his reaching for memories just beyond his grasp. That sound of frustration offers further proof.)]

[It's in her nature, after all, to want to soothe him.]

That's good. [Er--] Not that they need him, I mean, but-- it's good that we know that goal. That gives us an edge.

[But it's frustrating her, too, this mess of a problem with too many questions and not enough facts with which to begin piecing together the answers. Still-- she has more of them than some. She presses curled fingers to her mouth, considers--]

I'm almost certain - that it has to do with Kingdom Hearts. [It usually does.] But Sora-- he doesn't exactly fit in with the other ways of reaching it that have been attempted in the past. Not on his own. [Despite being closely involved in them, whether he knew it or not.]

[It's a pain that holds worth though, because it means that he's gotten to know her, that she is a dear friend. He'd rather feel that pain, than never have been her friend.

He nods, smiling faintly - he knows what she means even without that elaboration, and he agrees. Horrifying as those visions of Sora in that white throne might have been, they do serve as tiny little advantage.]

When doesn't it. [All that Xehanort has done has led there in one way or another.] So far, he's made two- no, three attempts and each was different to the last. It's not really a surprise that he'd try something new yet again.

[It's a complicated sort of thing, her situation and the situations tangential to it. She can't condone the loss of such memories, painful though they may be - it just makes it harder when she's the one they're of. After all... she's been forgotten once already. If it would help him for her to be again--]

[But the smile helps in at least some small part.]

Never, thus far. [At least if one includes the relationships between plans, anyway.] I don't think he'll ever stop. Not until he's gone for good. [Still--] ... But I don't like it, not knowing what other method he might have in mind.

[Not that she's particularly happy about any of this.]

... Riku? [A beat, then,] How much do you know about the X-blade? [Gotta watch that pronunciation, Naminé.]

[No, it wouldn't - that's not what this is about. It's already bad enough that he still might forget about Xion once he returns home; losing another friend like that-

He nods lightly in agreement - he really doesn't like not knowing either, but given how unreliable the memories from the mirror are, there isn't much they can do right now but wait. And anyway, before they have to deal with whatever Xehanort is up to, they'll have to restore their own home universes. First things first, and all.

For a second, he frowns puzzled as he turns the term over and over in his head - he knows she isn't talking about any ordinary Keyblade, and he knows-]

...I think, Aqua mentioned it to me once as something that Xehanort was after. She didn't go into the details though.

[They could go back and forth about it all day, most likely. Perhaps the thing that really matters is that he matters, that he's a dear friend and that his wellbeing is what she's really got in mind (heart). The unfortunate thing about that is likely the fact that all her life, the only way she's been able to care for someone is to let them go. She's not used to having the chance to keep them.]

[She has enough faith in him to hold her silence while he puzzles it out, letting him search his memories and his thoughts as he sees fit. At his answer, she nods.]

That's the one. I suppose I should probably tell you that the attempt he made... required a heart of light, and a heart of darkness. To that end, he took one heart and split it into two, so that each part would be pure.

[Here she falters, one hand settling around the opposite elbow, arm across her middle with visible, internal discomfort.]

And I should also tell you... that the one who came from the dark side looked a lot like Sora.

[No doubt they could - especially when he'd refuse to let her consider him to be the only one who matters in this discussion; given that he isn't the one slated to disappear, it most certainly is not. With all the possibilities the Tower has opened for Xion, surely there must be some for Naminé as well?

He nods thoughtfully; what she tells him sounds faintly familiar... Aqua told him some of it at least. As for the one of the dark side... he clenches his hands at the thought of that person, for all that it's been long since his last stay in the tower. He know who she's talking about.]

Vanitas.

[Their mutual stubbornness is both a blessing and a curse. (But really, if she's only going to disappear anyway, what difference does it make for her? Even if she continues to exist as part of Kairi, which, Naminé thinks, is the most she can hope for, isn't that just that? It's hard to imagine even being able to have much to say about it. He, however, must live on with his own path and will - so how could she, caring for him as she does, want to make that harder for him?)]

Yes. [It's a quiet little 'yes', trailed by a hushed echo of,] Vanitas.

So I think even before all of this started for you and Sora, you were already involved. And there is... one more thing. The weapon they were trying to forge, the X-blade -- it's got some similarities in appearance to the blade Sora wields.

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