towerofanimus | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Characters: Karkat Vantas (AU) and YOU
Setting: Across the tower! Mark in the subject line, please!
Format: Action to start, but I'll follow.
Summary: Karkat has been awfully quiet lately, and hasn't quiet been seeking out others. How unusual.
Warnings: TBA

[Karkat has just had too many things on his mind. Staying out of trouble, trying not to make more people furious with him, dodging mealtimes to instead feed Spidermom. The attack on the tower had sated her slightly, but it hadn't helped his psyche any. The visions of Imperial Drones on top of more copies of Spidermom were a little too much for him.

He was still sick to his nutrition sack over the whole thing. If those drones had been real, then he would have been leaving Kanaya to them. What kind of shitty friend was he?

Oh wait. That kind of answered the question. So wherever he happens to be, Karkat will be propped against a wall, staring down at his shoes with an everpresent frown of thought.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Karkat isn't too interested in making the situation worse, but he'll force a bit of an attempt anyway. He leans forward and folds his hands, giving her a very flat look.]

I thought we were passed the point where I would have to do shit like that. But whatever.

Between you and me, in case it wasn't fucking obvious, erasure is kind of the opposite thing I was looking for in terms of your state of being.

[Instant guilt, just add the concern of others. She slumps back against the couch, averting her eyes with shame. Her legs eventually come up to fold against her chest, and jesus christ it hurts to move like that but she needs to hold on to something.

It's a few moments of finding her composure before she actually speaks, and her voice is quiet when she does.] Sorry. ...I'm sorry. [It sounds repetitive and dumb and almost hollow because she's so used to saying it, but she really is.] Um. [wow OK that was stupid, try again???]

I didn't mean that. [...well, she did just a little, but that's a portion of self-loathing completely unrelated to Karkat.] I know you're... [Pause.] ...I know you do not want that to happen.

I suppose I am just frustrated that nothing is going right and I only seem to be worsening the situation at every turn. [With that, she tucks her chin onto her knees with a small wince. And then she realizes it was probably pointless to say that to him because of his Thief of Heart shenanigans. Oh well.]

[Indeed, he detects most of what she's feeling before she even says it and it just makes him hang his head with a soft sigh of exasperation. Sometimes he didn't enjoy his role. The part of him that knew how to fix it knew that it would make the situation worse.

Sorry Kanaya, but he can't take your frustration away from you this time.]

Yeah, you did. Not entirely, but you meant it. Don't worry about it.

As far as things getting worse, that's kind of the whole schtick this tower was build on, as far as I'm concerned.

[Yeah no she's going to worry about it anyways. And then try to stop worrying because she knows that Karkat knows and nope that doesn't make it any better, still worrying.

She gets up the shame globes to look back at him again, cheek resting on one of her knees. She wrings her hands a little, resisting the urge to invade his personal space.] ...I received warning, but it did not truly prepare me for what this place was like. I will merely have to adjust. [Living life in fear. She can get back into the groove of that, totally.]

...I should not have yelled at you. Alienation on top of the many other stresses that the tower so kindly provides for us is the last thing you or I need to deal with. [It's better for them to stick together in a place like this. Have each others' backs. Right?]

Writing off the usual dangers of living on Alternia, we still have the rest of the Tower to worry about, so you should probably listen to me instead of trying to carry the whole weight of it on your own.]

[Hypocrisy? Maybe a bit.]

I'm not looking for a pity party here, Maryam. I said don't worry about it.

[He looks up this time to catch her eyes, looking slightly stern in his own expression. Chances are, if she doesn't cool her jets, she'll find them forcibly cooled by him in a few short moments.]

["Pity party". She almost wants to laugh. Isn't that pretty much the entirety of a pale relationship?

She glares a bit, but it doesn't have the passion of her previous anger, only weary irritation.] You know, considering the high value you place on your own advice, you should try following it sometime.

[She gingerly unfolds herself so that her legs are over the edge of the couch and she's sitting like a normal person. After that, she resumes eye contact with him.] Pity is completely irrelevant to friendship, which I like to think is a thing that is present between you and I. And friendships are not a one-way street. You cannot force me not to worry about you when something is bothering you. Which something clearly is; I know you do not place much faith in my intelligence, but someone would need to suffer debilitating pan damage not to notice that you have been and are still very upset.

Don't talk to me and then expect me not to attempt to talk back. [She was doing pretty well on her composure there for a while, but that last sentence has a bit of an edge to it. She's taking deep breaths, though, trying to keep herself calm so Karkat doesn't pull any of his psychic shenanigans again.]

I don't place stock in your common sense. Lets not get carried away with the self-depreciation here, eh?

[That was a veiled compliment, and he's still dodging the whole issue of his own feelings.]

[Blink. Blink. Did he just--

no of course he didn't that's stupid.] I admire your ability to pick the least important part of everything I have just said to comment on. [C'mon he has to think she's dumb. That's just how things are.

And no, she's not letting you dodge this, Karkat.]

Over dramatization is supposed to be my job. That's a pretty fucking important thing to comment on, thank you very much.

What I just said to you was not intended to be about my intelligence or common sense, or any potential lack thereof. It was about you.

Why are you so bent on never speaking to anyone about your troubles?

Because I don't have troubles or problems is why. There is nothing monumentally wrong with my state of being that requires discussing.

[...which is a lie, but he's really good at that.]

[Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh.

Silence.

Okay she can't take it, she has to laugh a little. She's angry too, but this is all just so fucking ridiculous and that's the most blatant lie she's heard in a very long time.]

Perhaps I would believe you if I didn't actually know you, Vantas. [No "perhaps" about it. She'd believe him. It's kind of pathetic that he's such a good liar.] Is it necessary to continue lying to me?

Look, I'm pretty sure you don't want to talk about last month either.

[Oh.

That pretty much halts the indignity and anger for the time being. Her voice gets a little quieter.]

...you could have just said that earlier. What consequences did you think would arise from saying that much?

[Considering her own very personal connection with what happened, it's not like she's going to use his Feelings against him. That world scared her too.]</small.

You weren't thinking about it until I brought it up.

[Its more than that, but he's even less willing to discuss the other two problems.]

What do you think I think about when I am alone? When I dream? You are not bringing anything to the surface that is not already there.

Is burdening others truly your concern?

[Now Kanaya, you know he's not going to answer a question like that. That question is far too direct and makes it sound like he actually...cares about people.]

I wasn't aware that you were alone or dreaming right this second. I'll take notes next time.

[Glare.]

The point was that you can't keep it from bothering me all the time, so it's stupid to try and shield me from it by not talking about it.

You realize it is more troubling to those who care about you to lie and pretend as if nothing is wrong than to just discuss how you are feeling once in a while?

Passing "Go". I'll collect my 200 boonbucks on the way out, thanks.

[Casually folding his arms. Yeah, he doesn't want to talk about it, really.]

No. Go straight to prisonblock, without collecting boonbucks.

[And she folds her arms right back at him. Wow they're mature???]

You can't spontaneously decide when I got to the prisonblock, you god damn cheater. Are you just out to take all of my jobs tonight?

Yes, actually. I am just spreading slander and lies at your every workplace and sucking up to your superiors in the hopes that I will be Head Supervisor of All Feelings Jams. In addition, your sentence includes an indefinite amount of mandatory therapeutic jams with the Head Supervisor, who now happens to be me.

Wow, can you say 'scandalous wench'? If you can, don't bother, because I just did it for you.

As if you are one to talk about scandal, quadrant-manager. All you can do now is carry out your sentence before I ruin your life further. It would be wisest to start talking.

You're about a step away from out-scandaling me, and I doubt you.

[He looks down the bridge of his nose.]