it's the end of the world as we know it

[touchofgenius]

Characters: William Birkin
Setting: Floor 1
Format: I'll follow you, but action would be mighty nice
Summary: Birkin just showed up and he wants to know what the fuck kinda crap happened to him this time.
Warnings: None

[Birkin always figured he'd have a hand in the apocalypse. Though he definitely thought he'd end up being the cause of it rather than just living through it, somehow or another.

...Though it was probably just another virus anyway. Annoying things. He poked his head out of his room, looking both ways down the hallway. Might as well look for someone he recognized.]

Franken you can't just leave me behind like this, you asshat! [His voice merely echoed back at him. Certainly a bit unnerving, but he'd find him eventually. The guy's labcoat ended up in his trunk or whatever anyway.] Issei?! ...Sher? ...Creepy alien kids...?

[He started walking, slight frown on his face.] Regene?! Wesker? ...Papadachi are you back by any chance?

Guys, seriously... This isn't funny anymore...

Comments

[touchofgenius]

Oh, right, yeah, lusus, that's what you guys call 'em... Sorry, I'm a bit frazzled, I forgot you didn't really know me; I'm Birkin.

So, do you know what the deal is with this place? Another weird virus or what?

[thekidsare0kay]

Viruth? [Blinkblink] It'th a tower. It'th thuppothed to be thaving uth from the dethtruction of our worldth, but that'th a crock of shit. They ekthperiment on uth, and there are monthterth everywhere, and many of the levelth are thtupidly dangerouth.

[touchofgenius]

Right, I got all that, but how- [And then Birkin starts actually thinking] Do you... Not remember the community at all?

[thekidsare0kay]

...What community?

[touchofgenius]

Dramadra- Oh never mind. If you knew what I was talking about, I wouldn't have to explain. So I'm guessing either you got separated from it, or this is a virus. ...Judging by where I am, my vote's on virus.

Hey, wait a sec actually, how long do you think you've been here?

[thekidsare0kay]

[He thinks for a second] I've been here like theven perigeeth. I wath one of the firtht to arrive, actually. What do you mean about a viruth?

[touchofgenius]

Uh. Perigeeth? You're going to have to convert that to a time system I can actually understand.

...And that community I mentioned earlier has viruses - the computer kind - every so often and they affect the physical world too; switching genders, turning us into animals, making people into embodiments of the seven deadly sins. All sorts of things like that.

[thekidsare0kay]

Monthth, I mean. [He nods slowly] Tho far that kind of thtuff doethn't happen here. I mean, they took my anthethtor and covered hith thkin with white thtuff and then gave everyone delusionth that made them attack him and kill him. But that'th not the thame.

[touchofgenius]

Yeah that's a bit... Darker than what usually happens. Though there have been some bad viruses, so it's not completely out of the question.

And sorry about your ancestor?

[thekidsare0kay]

They cut hith hornth off, too. [He shrugs faintly, scratching one arm] After a month, they took all the victimth and fikthed them, tho I guethh he'th okay, now. Or ath okay ath he ever ith.

[touchofgenius]

Does it hurt? Getting your horns cut off I mean? [Wince] Sorry, that's a stupid fucking question, of course it would hurt... Cutting things usually hurts most people...

Sorry I'm just a bit... Frazzled, I guess. So it took a month to fix it, not a week or a few days?

[thekidsare0kay]

Of courthe it hurtth. There are a lot of nerveth in troll hornth. Like antennae!

[He sighs and shrugs] Yeah, they were gone a week and then they were all fucked up for a month, and then they dithappeared for a week again and when they were returned they were normal again.

[touchofgenius]

Oh right, the queen bee thing. I forgot you lot were like insects.

I guess the Shadow Incident lasted for a while too... Oh who the fuck am I trying to kid? Hey, Sollux, you like computers and stuff right? Any chance you have... Anything at all that has internet access?

[thekidsare0kay]

Yeah. [He shrugs and gestures towards the stairs] There are thome really primitive computerth, and you can only akthethh it from the librarieth. I've tried to cobble together thomething of my own, but it doethn't work. I keep forgetting what I'm doing halfway through.

[He starts towards the stairs] I'll show you where it ith.

[touchofgenius]

[Birkin jogs a few steps to catch up to him, looking a little more hopeful.]

Well at least that's something. How many people are in this tower you think? [Mostly he was trying to see if he should contact multiple people who could worldhop here and send everyone back to where they belonged, or if he needed to get a whole hoard of them.

Shame Birkin's burst of thoughtfulness is going to be completely pointless.]

[thekidsare0kay]

Hmm. [He thinks for a minute] A couple of dothen, I guethh? There are three floorth of dormitorieth now, and four people to a room, but not all the roomth are full all the time. People come and go, and thometimeth come back without remembering that they were there before. That happened with my matethprit.

[touchofgenius]

Matesprit... That's the pity-love one, right? Or. No, it's the... Diamond one that the cat girl is to everyone...? Sorry, your species' romance tends to confuse me a bit, the terms especially.

And that's happened to me before too with people; I know it can be hard.

[thekidsare0kay]

No, no, you were right the firtht time. Diamondth ith moirailth. [He cocks his head at Birkin] You really know a lot about uth. How did you talk to Nepeta, again? On the 'community'?

It wath okay, becauthe AA and I were together before.

[touchofgenius]

Yeah, that's how I know her. She's, uh... My matesprit's watchcat I guess. She jumps in to defend his antics to the other trolls at the drop of a hat. It's kinda hilarious.

[Birkin goes through his mental list of Weird Alien Kids and tries to figure out which one AA might be. Because he's guessing Sollux never went to Alcoholics Anonymous.] That's the one with the reddish text right? The Aries girl?

[thekidsare0kay]

You have a matethprit? [Blink...] You mean the human equivalent, I athhume. [Dum de dum, stepping off the stairs onto the landing and heading towards one of the computers]

Yeah, her name'th Aradia.

[touchofgenius]

Yeah, sorry, I have this tendency to talk towards the person I'm saying something to.

[Birkin doesn't hear Aradia's name though because he immediately bolted towards one of the computers and tried to find his beloved DDD.

...Don't mind him when he starts panicking and hyperventilating when it doesn't work.] What's wrong? What the fuck is wrong!?

[thekidsare0kay]

[Welp.

Sollux watches as he searches, then nudges him in the arm]

What are you trying to do?

[touchofgenius]

Access the commu- Er. This website called, uh. "Drama Drama Duck"? If I can get on it, I could ask for a worldhop and get all of us the fuck out of here.

[thekidsare0kay]

Really? [He leans a little closer, peering over Birkin's shoulder, then he shakes his head.] But it won't work. Thethe computerth only have an internal network, they're not connected to the internet, tho you can't thurf webpageth. And I've never been able to figure out how to akthethh the outthide uthing them. Believe me, if it were pothhible, I'd have found a way.

[touchofgenius]

[Birkin firmly headdesks into the keyboard. Today was not his day. Tomorrow didn't look so hot either.]