towerofanimus | You say "Goodbye"

Entry tags:

You say "Goodbye"

Characters: Dave Strider and everyone ever
Setting: Wherever, everywhere, go nuts man
Format: Any; I'll follow whatever you want!
Summary: The best time to arrive somewhere is during an event. That's exactly what seems to have happened for this kid.
Warnings: Dave being an insufferable prick to everyone ever, sass, cussing, copious amounts of swag, Kim trying to get Dave killed in his intro (I'm being serious).

[Room 1-04]
Dave read the letters. He already thought the first one was utter bullshit. His world was destroyed way before this tower saved his ass. Wow, talk about late to the party. He read the second one a little more seriously. Considering that there probably isn't any way out (he's getting too used to being stuck in places, dear god), he should know how to get around.

He changed out of whatever bullshit he woke up in, putting on one of the broken record t-shirts, jeans, and converse. He made sure his shades were placed perfectly over his face before noticing the collar around his neck.

Dave tapped his finger against the collar, shook his head and headed out.

[Everywhere else ever]
In retrospect, he should have grabbed one of his shitty swords. Oh well.

"Hey." He's probably trying to get your attention. He hates to be the new guy, but Dave really needed to know what he was in for. There had to be more then to what these letters had to say. "On a scale from piece of cake to I warned you dog, how bad of an idea is it to try and get these piece of shits off our necks? We can also use a scale of one to ten if that makes it easier. I would ask where the nearest exit is, but seeing as you're here, it seems like a dumb question to ask."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh, It's his turn to smirk a bit. Touched a nerve did he?]

Haha, assuming we all decided to just lie around and asked someone to show us their stabs. I didn't exactly lie around wait. [He can't say the same for John, and Jade had narcolepsy so...] If I did, Harley would have never made it into the Medium. But you seriously sound like someone shat in your cereal. Don't like potentially fucking up? Trying to play little miss perfect who can't do no wrong?

Nice to know that you had to consciously avoid getting yourself skewered just to set up the game. Couldn't even handle the beginner stuff without jumping up and down on all the mines?

[she tilts her head a little to move some wayward hair from her face, stare poisonous despite the hidden eyes] And I don't owe shit to you, let alone an explanation.

Yeah, well I had to get your sorry purple broad ass into the game too. You sure thought that was a hoot. [Spoiler: You didn't.] But that's what happens when one of the players in your session is on some crazy mission and had be relieved of his important Server player duties for more important not Server player related shenanigans. [It's fun. Being Server player to two girls while causing a scandal in the stock market. Time shenanigans are so much fun.]

What is with you jumping to conclusions and pulling words out of my mouth? Did I say you owed me shit? Nope. Sure didn't say anything about owing me. Maybe Lalonde does, but not you. So lets stop jumping down throats and making shitty assumptions.

The more I hear about your clusterfuck of stupidity that serves as a session the more I'm grateful that my colossal morons were at least easy to ignore. And that's saying something, so congratulations I guess. [let's not talk about how she almost got John killed getting him into the Medium. yes, this is a good plan.]

Oh, so now we've plummeted so far down the conversation ladder that I can only talk about things you explicitly stated? My bad, I thought I was talking with somebody halfway intelligent. I won't make that mistake again; no more reading between the lines for obvious meanings, don't have a hemorrhage.

They ain't colossal morons. They're my friends you fucktwit. But you sound like you know jackshit about what those are. [And as much as he's called John an idiot or Rose annoying, he appreciates them a hell lot more then he lets off.]

There wasn't any obvious meanings. If I thought you owed me shit, I would have told you straight up. 'Hey, you're stupid and obviously a lost cause. You should obviously tell me whats up so I can relinquish some sicknasty tips on your little noggin.' But I didn't. If you don't want to answer my questions, I'm fucking ice cold with that. But if you're going to insinuate things that aren't even what I was aiming at, I'm going to call you out on whatever bullshit you're trying to pull.

Who said anything about yours being braindead? Getting a little defensive over nothing, aren't you? I know perfectly well what a fucking friend is, it just so happens that I'm not playing a game of life or death with any.

[she tsks] Bullshit? More like you're too much of a fuckwit to notice that so far I haven't been keen on telling you jack shit. Maybe next time apply those two brain cells you've got to something useful, like not asking dumbass questions that won't get answered.

Oh? So who're you playing with? Yourself. I doubt that. Just some sorry fucks who happen to get roped into the same fucked up game by chance? Load of bull. Maybe you should stop ignoring them and actually work together because this shit isn't going to magically be won if you ignore them and go off on your own little adventure of solitude.

Except asking them still actually tells me more then you want me to know. It's not like you make it hard to read some of your reactions, and I can make some educated guesses in some departments with how you didn't answer them.

I got dragged along by a group of fuckers who either won't leave me alone or need constant supervision to stay breathing. Nobody's dying or losing the way I'm running things, so excuse me if I don't start drawing friendship circles all over the goddamn tower because of your sermon.

You're just a regular Sherlock Holmes, aren't you? Why don't you deduce what I've been up to in the Medium through the scuffs in my shoes while you're at it? [she rolls her eyes] What a crock of shit.

Man, your session sounds stupid as fuck. I played it because a bunch of stupid friends thought it would be a good idea. Course no one realized that flaming meteors were going to try and end the world as we know it. Reminds me, this tower sure knows how to be fashionably late seeing as anyone from our universes have had them destroyed way before this tower up and decided it wanted us as permanent guests.

Sorry. Forgot my hat and pipe. Apparently, I wasn't able to pack for my mystery adventures. Plus I haven't cast Watson, although I have someone in mind who'd fit the role.

That's because my session is stupid as fuck. But I pretty much said the same thing when I got dropped here. If they're going to bullshit a cover story they could at least have the decency to vomit up one that makes sense.

You mean you don't have them on you at all times? For shame. Just for that you've lost your Watson privileges.

I guess they decided that cut and pasting the same story would work for everyone. They should be more culturally sensitive to the people who've lost their world from shit eating asteroids.

Well shit, it's not my fault this Tower didn't think my Sherlock get up was important enough to pack with me. I'll remember to send a complaint to them as soon as possible. How dare they make me lose my privileges for their fuck up.

I know, right? Not everybody comes from one of those privileged universes where things are buttercups and sunshine all the time. Just because we've had it rough doesn't mean they can just disregard us like that.

How dare they indeed. Make sure to include a lot of angry adjectives and disparaging nouns, I'm sure that'll really make them sorry.

I'm incredibly wounded how they don't take our dark and tormented lives into consideration. What if we had trauma from the fact we no longer had universes? So much for wanting to be biffles forever and having all the fun. They can't even be decent enough to be careful with our feelings.

I'll crank out the dictionary and choose the most appropriate words. Even poets will weep at the beauty of this complaint.

I don't know, I think they're off to a great start at being our bestest buds. Isn't the first rule to that being a lying backstabber with no regard for feelings? They're certainly doing pretty well with trampling all over ours.

Yeah, tears of blood at your poetically awful mangling of their beautiful language. It'll probably be so bad it comes back around to attractive again.

I thought they were trying to be good friends. But if they're aiming to be the complete opposite, then they deserve a medal. Trophy if they keep working at it. I'll be out of those stupid gold star stickers at this point. Hopefully someone has extra.

Sometimes ugly things are just really attractive. How else do people fall for buckteeth? [He's just being rude now.]

Out of gold stars? Don't even joke about something like that. We lose those and our hope's pretty much shot to hell and back.

Probably the same way they fall for anything else - a large head injury.

I'll be sure to ration them well. We wouldn't want that happening.

Shit, I guess that's true. I'd be more worried about my concussion then how ugly someone is. At least for a little while.

Thank god. You're a credit to your people and country, Strider. [it feels a little silly calling him Strider, but using his first name is even worse. that implies familiarity and fondness.]

Only a little while? Your vain personality is showing again.

[He mocks salute.] Only doing my job as a good citizen. Those stickers need to be used well. [Both of them calling each other Strider will be pretty weird, but neither can resort to saying first names either.]

Shit. I thought I was hiding it well. You caught me. I'll try harder, I swear.

Damn straight they do. The activity books of the world are in your hands now.

Like fuck you will. The minute this talk's over I'm going to turn back and see you making out with your reflection.

Shit, all this power. The world is so royally fucked in the best way possible.

Making out with reflections ain't my thing. I was more interested in running into myself. Glass just doesn't quite compare to an actual person.

Like fuck it is. If you go nuts and start raining death and destruction down from on high you can bet I'm going to step in and cut you down to size.

Damn, with that attitude you're pretty much the worst person to make a Hero of Time ever. Sounds like you're speaking from experience about selfmakeouts too. [she pulls a face, although it's obviously facetious]

If by death and destruction, you mean a heavy dose of cool raining down on the world, then yes. I don't really do the death and destruction thing. Already found out it kind of sucked. [The shit SBURB teaches you.]

I'd hate to see anyone else try taking the title from a Strider. I don't really expect anyone else to get this shit down like I did. [Although, in all honesty it was more like damage control. Avoid all the Doomed timelines and what not.] This game was pretty fucked up if it resorted a bunch of teenagers to selfmakeouts or kissing dying bodies though.

Wow, you actually had to find out that total annihilation was a load of shit? There goes my theory that you just had two brain cells working overtime.

Honestly I think that the fucking thing got into somebody's collection of hideous fairytales when it started this whole thing up, but I might be giving it too much credit.

Hey, I'm an equal opportunity man. I was giving it the benefit of the doubt, but even that was giving too much credit. It basically took my attempt of being sympathetic and crashed it with its meteor.

I might have given a thumbs up, but that's being too generous. This place is actually really anticlimatic as far as creepy towers and being kidnapped goes.

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mfw they start getting along oh god.

the natural order of snark is inescapable

Re: the natural order of snark is inescapable

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