001 ♑ [first honk]

[hystericull]

Characters: OU Gamzee and you!
Setting: Room 1-02, the cafeteria, and anywhere in between!
Format: Either are entirely welcome.
Summary: A doped-up, alien clown awakens in the strangest of places - and decides that he's hungry. Seems like he's got a good handle on priorities. Oh, chocolate shenanigans are good, too, although he hasn't eaten any!
Warnings: None that I can think of, except for Gamzee's filthy mouth.


Room 1-02:
[Sometimes a body just doesn't want to get its motherfuckin' move on. That's cool, though. Whatever it feels like doing, or not doing, is all chill with him. It's not like he wouldn't be laying here motionless anyway. This sure was an uncomfortable way to wake up. The immobility didn't bother him as much as the hard, flat surface he'd been placed upon. It certainly wasn't a recuperacoon - a conclusion he'd only come to because of the depressing lack of sopor slime. It also wasn't his horn pile, which he'd become accustomed to sleeping in while in the Veil. Oh, well! Better not to dwell on such trivial things, and get back at enjoying this wicked nothingness. The crazy feel of paralysis was gone, however, and Gamzee Makara regained his motor skills.

After lamenting the loss of that dope not-moving shit, he rolled not-so-gracefully off of the bed, smacking his large horns on the nightstand and landing with a "thud" on the floor. He'd managed to knock some sheets of paper off of the nightstand on his way down.

Oh. They were letters.

Well, he'd already known Alternia had been destroyed, but he was thankful for whoever wrote the letter to have saved him! And everyone being happy sounded like a fucking awesome time! He wanted to meet the author of this letter - they sounded pretty motherfucking chill.

What wasn't chill was this super-tight jumpsuit he'd been placed in. Who even gets up in a brother's bubble like that? Not that it was a huge deal. He was pretty okay with sharing his personal space, really. He crawled over to the trunk the letter had mentioned, and beamed excitedly when he saw what was inside. Among his usual clothes, which he quickly donned, he proceeded to overturn the chest, spilling bike horns, juggling clubs, and slime all over the floor. This was starting to feel more familiar already!

Eating the slime was not something he probably should have done, but who in their right mind would take an oatmeal-only rule seriously? Better yet, who not in their right mind would even notice that there was an oatmeal-only rule?

Uh-oh. The ol' nutrition sack wasn't feeling too well. In a fit of desperation, he scrambled out of the room and down the hallway.]

Cafeteria:
[After getting situated in his room and having had quite the terrible feeling in his stomach, Gamzee had somehow found his way to the cafeteria. It had taken a while, and he'd ended up going in circles, going into other people's rooms, going back into his own room, and generally unintentionally avoiding the place he'd been searching for.

He didn't really notice the bowl of oatmeal before him, and didn't remember how it got there, for that matter. What was this stuff? It was runny, sloppy, and slid over the edges of its bowl when he wobbled it from side to side (which he was doing quite enthusiastically). It reminded him of a discolored sopor pie... kind of. Hopefully it wouldn't make his digestive sack feel like a bag of angry bees like the pie had, however. He frowned at the thought, momentarily pausing his bowl-spinning game to dip and swirl a few fingers around in the stuff cautiously. The table was full of oatmeal, as were his fingers, now. He was generally making a mess, all while wearing a stupid grin.]

Comments

[cantstopme]

I don't really have fins... I don't think I'm supposed to have any.

[But he does have really long and pointy ears!!]

Power Bracelets give me power! Watch --

[Just gonna. Pick Gamzee up out of nowhere, since he's closest.]

See?

[hystericull]

[HONKING. So much honking flying out of Gamzee's mouth right now as he's lifted clear off of the floor and up above tiny Link's head! And he's flailing! But he's having fun! Too much fun and surprise to form any other word but "honk!" apparently!]

Honkhonkhonkhonkhonkhonkhonk!!!

[cantstopme]

[He blinks a bit, startled by all the honking, and puts him down, wide eyed.]

Are you okay? Did I scare you?

[hystericull]

[He's grinning like a fool and clapping his hands.]

How'd you even all up and do that, bro!? You be all to have motherfuckin' musclebeast arms under that fairy suit of yours?

[cantstopme]

Nuh-uh - it's the bracelets! They're magic, like my Deku Leaf and arrows!

Except I don't have to use my magic to pick stuff up.

[Congrats bro, your little pink friend is magic.]

[hystericull]

[Okay, staring in awe, now. He grins broadly, crouching his long legs down so he was at eye-level with the boy. He's seen the light. Here come the miracles. You can never escape the miracles, Link.]

Linkbro, this motherfucker thinks he got this shit all locked straight down in the pan.

Your magic be my fuckin' miracles, brother. They be all two things coming at this crazy motherfucker from all far away, all them far off galaxied magical beaches, comin' all fast-like to where we be all gettin' ourselves at right the fuck now. But they be the same wicked thing, Linkbro! Only called them different words, and ain't no brother or sister who need a word to tell 'em what they up and motherfuckin' feel in their bloodpusher, you hear my noise, motherfucker? A miracle can be all so fuckin' monstrous that it whips up them big-ass waves in your ocean and sends those brothers all the fuck way over to my shore. That's just how them fuckers work, Fairy Boy. You get your fuckin' see on of them miracles, brother?

[cantstopme]

[And he can't help staring a bit in awe too, before grinning and giving the troll a big smile.]

Mhm! I've seen miracles before!

[You are speaking magic to this little kid, Gamzee - he doesn't really understand all of it, but what he does is blowing his mind.]

[hystericull]

[He laughs heartily, a sound reminiscent of a strangulated bike horn, clapping his hands on both of Link's shoulders.]

Tell at me all those slams 'bout your magic miracles, my brother.

[cantstopme]

All of them?

[Whoah... but that's like.... ten!!!]

But I've seen so many, um... bro!

[hystericull]

[He nods sagely.]

I know, brother, I motherfuckin' know. Get your pinch on of that fuckin' stardust and poof those miracles straight down into my ducts, little man.

[cantstopme]

Well, um... I told you about the King of Red Lions - he saved my life, you know. I was thrown into the sea by a giant, glowing bird, and he saved me, and he could talk! I like to think that's kind of a miracle...
That's a miracle, isn't it?

[And a pause, to think of some more!!]

And the Fairy Queen granted me the power to shoot fire and ice arrows! It's really cool!
And I found out that one of my friends was a princess! She turned into a princess right in front of my eyes, like magic.

Um... Oh; and my Light Arrows! I should show you those - they are really bright, and can get rid of demons and phantoms!

[All these are miracles, right??]

[hystericull]

[His head is a giant bobblehead right now, nodding enthusiastically and drinking in every story Link has. Well, spacing out every now and again, but coming back to hear the especially miraculous parts.]

For fuckin' sure it's a miracle, man! Them be some of the best motherfuckin' anecdotes a brother was ever to all get his wicked hear on of! All them fuckin' miracles be around you, little bro! They be all swirlin' around and all rearin' their motherfuckin' heads at a motherfucker comin' straight from you!

[He takes his hands off of Link's shoulders and waves them around him like some sort of magic trick as he explains this crazy-ass miracle aura thing going on.]

[cantstopme]

[His eyes go wide with wonder, but his smile stays and just gets bigger; and he gives a little hop, hands in fists.]

I should show you some of them, uh... bro!

I can show you them right now -- come on!

[He turns and gives him a wave to follow, all riled up and excited thanks to Gamzee.]

[hystericull]

[He straightens up, having been crouched down to listen to Link's stories, and returns the giant smile, following dreamily in the boy's wake. He'd gotten lost so many times trying to find the cafeteria, if he could only focus enough to keep track of Link, it would all be peachy.]

Fuck yeahhhhh, motherfucker! I be right behind you!

[cantstopme]

[He lets out a little laugh then, running off to the elevator so they can get to the dorms again.

Dis gon be awesome.]

[hystericull]

[Apologies are in order in advance, Link, because Gamzee runs in to people, stands still for awkwardly long periods of time, and loses sight of you far more times than he or anyone can count. Eventually, however, by some miracle, he ends up at your room with you.]

Heyyy, this where you be gettin' your wicked wake on, bro? Did them motherfuckers be all to put you in a dope-ass jumpsuit, too?

[cantstopme]

Oh -- mhm. But I changed out, because I like my hero clothes a lot better.

[He's cool; he had to put up with carrying Medli and dealing with Makar, and at least Gamzee can go through doors on his own.

But speaking of his clothes!! He motions for Gamzee to come over to his trunk where he got his clothes, smiling and opening it to take out some of his things (but keeping the telescope right next to him because it's Aryll's; sorry, Gamz).]

[hystericull]

[He nods. He feels you, bro.]

Fuck yeah them green duds be fly as a motherfuckin' wingbeast, Linkbro! Took me a motherfuckin' while to all get my fuckin' self outta that thing. Lucky a brother's clothes were all such to be conveniently motherfucking placed in the miracle box, though!

[Ooooh, ooooh, shiny things shiny things!!! What are they!?]

[cantstopme]

Mhm! I have my pajamas in here, too.

[WELL FIRST, you get to meet his Mirror Shield, Gamzee!!]

Here, do you want to hold it? This is my shield! I had another one, but it was old and made of wood; this one's a lot stronger because it's made of metal.

I've also got my bow and arrows here but I don't think I should use them inside...

[hystericull]

[WHY WOULD YOU GIVE HIM YOUR MIRROR SHIELD DO YOU WANT HIM TO BE COMPLETELY USELESS FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS]

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

[Staring at it forever. It reflects light! It shines! His face is in it! He touches the shield to make sure there isn't a reversed Gamzee inside. He stares some more. You'd better show him something else because he isn't moving.]

[cantstopme]

...

[Riiiiight. MOVING ON...
Link shakes his head a little, and picks up his Hookshot, slipping his little hand inside to hold the the latch.]

Look at this! I use it to climb up really high; want to see?

[hystericull]

[It's hard to tear his eyes away from the shiny, but he does, slowly. As soon as he sees the Hookshot, however, the shield is completely forgotten.]

Holy motherfuck! Motherfuck yes, bro!

[Widest. Eyes. Ever. Well, widest that he can manage while on sopor.]

[cantstopme]

[He gives him a nod then, pointing the Hookshot up and launching it, only to be launched up himself, hanging from it with a smile.]

See? I used to have a grappling hook like this too, but I don't know where that went...

[Aaaand dropping, so he can take his Deku Leaf up - it looks like a weird bundle of sticks at first, until Link grabs it and it looks like an actual leaf. It just works that way, somehow. Don't question Deku magic.]

[hystericull]

[He loses track of Link for a moment as he shoots to the ceiling, then finds him again after frantically whipping his hair head back and forth.]

S'okay, man, I be losin' track of shit all the motherfuckin' time. That motherfucker'll be makin' its way all back at to you when it gets good and motherfuckin' ready.

[STARING AT THE LEAF. TOUCHING IT. POKING IT.]

[cantstopme]

[And he laughs a little bit at Gamzee poking his leaf, before whipping it back and forward to send a gust of wind at the troll. Take that!!!]

This is my Deku Leaf! It's magic, and the Great Deku Tree gave it to me!