towerofanimus | 004 ♑ [fourth honk]

Entry tags:

004 ♑ [fourth honk]

Characters: Gamzee and you!
Setting: First-floor hallway, a few days post-Labyrinth.
Format: Action.
Summary: Gamzee has been a bad, bad alien. In the wake of his murder spree and after being revenge-fed to a gigantic spider, he's pretty whacked out. Time for some angst and nerves and possibly drugs. Oh, and Faygo Play-Doh. COME PLAY!
Warnings: Angst, talk of murder, drugs, Gamzee's mouth. And Play-Doh because I like saying Play-Doh.

[Gamzee Makara was, surprisingly, Not Happy. Well, "surprisingly", because there was never a time prior where the gangly thing wasn't beaming from sponge clot to sponge clot, flitting about like gravity was simply an option undeserving of his attentions.

"Unsurprisingly", because there really wouldn't be any other emotion left to have in response to cracking under stress and withdrawal, gruesomely murdering your friends, and finally getting mangled up on the end of a trident with a prong through your head. All on display for the entire Tower to see! So, the friends that had managed to escape his homicidal rampage were probably just as afraid of him as the ones who weren't as lucky.

Not to mention, after all was said and done, Gamzee had been thoroughly thrashed into submission by his roommates after awakening in a rampage. Shortly after that, as payback from one of the not-friends he'd ended up offing, he'd been manipul8ed, knocked out, and woken up only to find himself being eaten alive by a spider.

He was not having a very good perigree.

However! Being infinitely taxed and possibly having a taste or three of sopor since waking ~~again~~ from his death had left him not completely miserable (if only because he was too exhausted and high to be miserable, but, details.)

He'd managed to drag himself out to the hallway on the first floor, not being able to get much farther than that after being a recluse for a good portion of the day. When it came down to it, he really wasn't quite sure if he'd wanted to isolate himself, or desperately seek the attention of the rest of the Tower. The indecision was eating him up, so he'd decided to scoot up against one of the walls, pie in his lap, and a few plastic containers at his side. These the Tower had granted him for participating in the experiment - assorted colors of Faygo Play-Doh. He'd recognized them from his hive (which had been destroyed long ago, but one learned quickly never to question the Tower, and he was particularly good at that part!)

After another swallow of slime, a familiar haze began to fall over him, leaving him teetering on the edge of lucidity. In this state, tired and useless, he popped the lids off of the containers and began squishing the putty between his bony fingers, immersing himself in the motions which effectively distracted him from everything else going on inside his think pan.]

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[Rage...? That was really a stretch. Honestly, Gamzee couldn't remember another time in his pathetic life where he'd been as overcome with anger as he'd been in the labyrinth. The smallest things had set him off, and it was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before.

He suddenly remembered why he didn't like to ask questions. The answers removed all doubt from a situation. If he could go back a few minutes, he'd have held his stupid tongue, refrained from asking Karkat such an idiotic question. Did he even really want to know the answer?

He didn't know what to do. Karkat was the only thing he had that made any sort of sense anymore. Karkat knew what to do and knew more about him than he knew about himself, it seemed. It would be so easy to go back on the sopor, go back to his normal self and forget any of this happened. ...But Karkat didn't like that idea. Maybe he just needed some convincing.]

...Don't like this, brother. Don't fuckin' like this one motherfucking bit. Be thinkin' all like, a rusted pan be more better than a confused and hurty one, yeah?

[ Karkat shakes his head. yes, it would be easier for Gamzee to just gorge himself on slime. if the smaller troll hadn't known where that leads and how harmful it is, then he'd let Gamzee just do it. but he does know better. his palm strokes Gamzee's cheek, an apology in his eyes. ]

The confusion and hurt will go away. I'm here for that, remember? Again, that's what moirails are for. As long as I'm around, then you'll be the same adorable douchebag that you always were, just... Smarter, I guess. Maybe have a shorter fuse, but it doesn't change who you are.

[Easily reassured, gullible, naive, whatever you'd like to call it, Gamzee offers up a fangy grin in response to Karkat's words. He'd never been in a place where he'd had stability, someone to rely on, to give him direction and focus. His head had always been in a whirlwind, doing whatever he damn well pleased without thought or care of the ramifications. Without proper guidance since wigglerhood, there really was no other expectation.

Because of this, it was easy for him to latch on to the things Karkat had been telling him. It was easy to put his trust in him, because he was his best friend. If Karkat ended up abandoning him, he'd go on like he had been before. Not to say it wouldn't be without its fair share of hurt, but he'd been there before. It was okay!

Thoughts like this didn't cross his mind, however. Best friends didn't do that to one another, and Karkat probably knew a lot better than he did, anyway. Always did, even before all of this had happened.

He was still grinning, leaning his face into the grazing motions of Karkat's hand.]

Don't think I was ever to be motherfuckin' having a fuse before, bro. That mean I be gettin' all puffy and shouty like what's you do all the motherfucking time?

Maybe a little shouty.

[ his hands are so getting to get smudged, but watch how many fucks Karkat gives. really his little blood pusher hurt so much for Gamzee in this instance. he doesn't want to give it all away. doesn't want to tell him exactly what will happen. Karkat wants to hold onto that innocent smile, one without the lurking murder mirth behind it, for a while longer. ]

Something happened in the THING, huh?

[Eerily enough, the innocent smile doesn't fade from his lips as he begins to ponder the events of the labyrinth.]

...The twistymaze? Yeah. Wicked noise all went down what's like nothin' I all ever was to be motherfuckin' feeling at before, bro.

[A short pause.]

...Could feel the harshness all creepin' up on a motherfucker. Ninja'd all up in the pan sneaky-like, eatin' my brainmeats all the motherfuck up little by motherfuckin' little, it all was. 'Til I got my rage all on at a dragon dude for kickin' the shits outta a good sister of mine.

Then... I kinda got real mad. Let them ninjas do all whatsever the motherfuck they all told in me. Felt good, bro.

[His expression didnt change a bit. Gamzee sat under Karkat's attentions like a stray barkbeast, recounting his experience like it was nothing more than a peculiar turn of events.]

[ yeah, that would be it. Gamzee has already had a break down then. Karkat sighs, wishing he had been THERE so that some of that could be avoided. more than likely that dragon dude had been decapitated and/or beaten to deal. who knows. it is a little hard telling what exactly Gamzee had done and Karkat is not about to ask for details. he does grimace a little, but more at how terrifying the ordeal had to have been. how Gamzee probably felt coming out of there. if it had PURELY felt good, the other troll wouldn't be out here, gorging on slime. ]

Gamzee, you can't do that anymore though. No letting them rage ninjas get all up in your think pan. That's what it's going to feel like every goddamn time now.

[Not quite. Dragon dude was a particularly vicious and GIANT motherfucker. Beat the shit out of Gamzee before he could manage to abscond. That didn't particularly sate his anger, so he took it out on every motherfucker he could get his hands on afterward. He killed his friends, he killed the other trolls, he killed strangers... He was an unstoppable murder machine until he engaged the Condesce. Gored him thrice with that poker of hers. A morbid end to a morbid rampage.]

Why the fuck not?

[He was utterly apathetic. Disconnected. Maybe it was the slime, maybe it was the exhaustion, maybe his pan had been rusted beyond its means. He was torn between listening to Karkat, and doing what felt natural. He'd always taken the easy way out of everything, because he never saw a point in going through with something that was the more difficult alternative. Direction he did not have.]

Because while it feels good and natural, if you really wanted to do that deep down, then you wouldn't calm at the tone of my voice. You wouldn't be out here like some wiggler trying to drown his sorrows the only way he knows how.

[ this is how Karkat sees it. if Gamzee had really, truly wanted to kill them all, he would have. yet he had calmed at Karkat's touch and soft tone. that's the kind of palerom you read about in novels. they are a thing that is written in the stars. still, though, Gamzee could have clubbed Karkat in that instant. ]

Because killing everyone isn't the answer. That sort of destruction will just come back to bite us all in the nooks.

[Okay, Karkat. Okay. Nubs had always known better than he had, he's thought it before. Gamzee scrunched his face all up, cheeks starting to prickle with the first spots of a flush beneath his mussed paint. He was stupid about a lot of things, and he was the most stupid about feelings. He knew what he felt, when he felt it. He didn't understand the point of keeping them to yourself when you felt a certain way, but he ended up having a big lesson in why some people would end up withholding them.

He probably would have told Karkat how he'd felt sweeps ago, if he was observant enough to know what was going on. Obviously, he had not been. The closest he'd come was insisting on their friendship, trolling Karkat even when he obviously was not in the mood for it. He could not have imagined this turning out more unexpectedly than it had, but he was glad it did.

Gamzee's forehead found Karkat's, lifting a few claws to pluck the the fraying hem of the other boy's shirt.]

How you know what my pan's up and squawkin' all the motherfuck about when I ain't got no fuckin' clue on it, motherfucker? Fuckin' miracle, you all are.

[ you're going to destroy his shirt there, Gamzee. oh well. he has more. Karkat brushes his nose against Gamzee's, all of the guilt sinking in. ]

I'm sorry, Gamzee. I should've been there for you sooner. When I should have been, I wasn't. When you were wandering around in the lab, I wanted to chase after you so fucking bad. You had me worried sick and I should have followed my motherfucking gut, but I didn't.

[ avoiding the question? yeap. that's what Karkat's doing. because he does blame himself for everything that Gamzee had done. will do. whatever. Karkat had known that he needed to be there for the clown. he had known and ignored it in favor of maintaining some form of his leadership role. which he had blown. some leader Karkat had been... so many deaths. all on his shoulders.

he clutches the other troll tighter. feeling just a little sick to his stomach. ]

Whoa, whoa...

Hold all up on me for a hot fuckin' second, brother. I ain't gettin' what's like, motherfucking none of the noise you all be saying at me.

[Gamzee backs up for a second. Up close and personal is usually his thing, but he can't be up close and personal and try to use his pan at the same time.]

Did I get all them haps to be flyin' out the motherfuckin' noggin, or is you gettin' your fucking ramble all on in shit I ain't supposed to be thinkin' at yet?

[ Karkat ducks his head, maybe a little ashamed. ]

In the Veil, on that meteor, you wandered off at some point. Ran out of slime and shit. After a while, I really started to get worried about you. The only thing I felt was right was to go after you, but I felt like I couldn't leave the lab because I was the leader. So you had to go through Sopor withdrawal on your own. I shouldn't have let that happen.

[He waves a dismissive hand, offering up another grin.]

Ain't no fuckin' thing, bro! You all got your like, executive motherfuckin' duties all to be gettin' your worry on over. Them be all of way more motherfucking importance than settin' stubs on this motherfucker!

[ Karkat looks at Gamzee. bites his lip. ]

Not really. Not anymore.

[Slanty face. But Karkat was a good leader! He always took his role so seriously.]

Why not?

I'm not the newly appointed leader. It's the Seer of Light running around in our lab now.

[Damn, how much shit did he actually miss?]

Oh. Guess it don't matter much fuckin' none, though. 'Cause like, we all be motherfuckin' here now, right? You can all lead the bros and bitches who're all to be in the Tower and shit like that is, yeah?

[Gamzee grinned a stupid grin. That seemed to be the only thing he was good at.]

[ more head shaking. all of it. ]

I'm not fucking qualified for the position anymore. All I did was manage to lead us into doom's way.

[The eager grin turns more lopsided.]

Sounded all like you were to be leading me the fuck out of it, though, brother.

[ Karkat ruffles Gamzee's hair, smiling just a touch sadly. ashamed, maybe. ]

I was just following Jade's instructions. She and Kanaya had a better idea of what was really going on than I did.

[A chuckle.]

How come you always be all motherfucking eager to be doling out them wicked commendations on every other brother and bitch but your mother fuckin' own, huh, bro? Don't much seem all fuckin' fair to this motherfucker, it all don't.

You be deserving of all some mystical fuckin' pats on the proverbial thorax for all the miracles you up and pull, too.

[ stares at. just.... stares! ]

What miracles.

[ in such a flat tone too. seriously, he can't name one good thing he's done. 8T ]

[There are times when Gamzee wished he wasn't such an inattentive airhead. This would be one of those times, trying to think of the good things Karkat had done. He knew the little guy had done lots of things that benefited their group, but he was so spacey, he'd hardly been paying attention when he'd done them. Okay... what had he done when they'd been on LOTAM together? In the game? He'd done a lot of good, leadery things. ...Ugh, fucking Swiss cheese brain.]

Brother... you done bunches of good. Led all us bitches through the crazy motherfucking game noise, you all fuckin' did. Ran around with them fuckin' sickles in your little hands and fucked shit up proper. Whooped the motherfucking ass of that mystical motherfucker under your most nubular rule!

You always done good for us, 'cause like, you all get your worry on 'bout every other motherfucker. Ain't no one else what's would give half a shit's motherfucking tit 'bout everyone like you all were to be doin'. Put every dude before yourself, that be the most bitchin' of miracles not many brothers all be able to pull, you know?

[ that took Gamzee a long time to come up with. and when he does? Karkat isn't sure he likes the sound of it. trolls aren't meant to be that compassionate. they shouldn't hand out worried feels like John dishes out rabbits to little girls. it's fucking crazy is what it is. ]

Miracle? You call that a miracle? Doesn't that only prove how fucked up in the think pan that I am?

[ at least he isn't denying the validity of the words said. ]

[Err... does it?]

Ain't sure I be all at, like, motherfucking liberty to be the one to be making those kinds of motherfucking determinations. Uh, considering.

[God, he was bad at this.]

004 ♑ [fourth honk]

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