[OPEN] The cake is a lie

[chronomancer]

Characters: Jade!Eridan and YOU!
Setting: Cafeteria's kitchen.
Format: Action.
Summary: ...in which Eridan tries his hand at the arcane, mystic majicks of baking for the sake of his matesprit. It goes as well as you'd expect.
Warnings: FLOUR. FLOUR AND BUTTER EVERYWHERE.

[...well. That sure just happened.

Eridan blinks slowly, as the cloud of white slowly descends onto the floor. He'd never known bags of flour were even explosive. Like. Okay. Maybe he'd tugged a little too hard. Maybe. But that's not a good enough reason for it to explode on his face. The recipe he was working off from didn't say anything about exploding bags of flour.

He just stands there for a moment, W E L P all but written all over his face. Somehow, he thinks, this little project might turn out to be a little more complicated than anticipated.]
 

Comments

[terreifying]

[She cocks her head, curious.]

What'cha making? Biscuits? A pie? A cake?

[chronomancer]

A mess.

[Eridan lets out a loud sigh, shoulders slumping.]

But ideally, cookies.

[terreifying]

Let me help then. I just baked cookies the other day.

[She couldn't popcorn.gif at the wank storm, so she cookie.giffed instead.]

[chronomancer]

...I'd like that.

[There's a pause.]

Only...

[He fidgets a little. Yeah, hard to see the troll that mercykilled you now, is it, Rei?]

[terreifying]

Is there some sort of problem?

[She scratches her head.]

Oh, are the cookies for someone you reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally like then?

[chronomancer]

...kinda.

[Excuse him while he rubs the back of his neck and casually doesn't meet her eye.]

[terreifying]

[She gives a quick nod.]

I get it! What if I just helped you scoop out everything then? Just so you don't explode the flour again.

[chronomancer]

...I'd appreciate that. A lot

[Have a small smile.]

[terreifying]

[She takes a measuring cup from a drawer and a bowl from the cupboard.]

Which recipe are you using.

[She returns his small smile with a toothy grin of her own.]

[chronomancer]

[That toothy grin still makes him a little uneasy, but he tries not to let it show. He shrugs a bit.]

Uh. One I found in the library.

[Behold a scrap of paper with the world's easiest sugar cookie recipe. And he'll still somehow manage to fuck it up.]

shit g mail ate this tag

[terreifying]

[She reads through the recipe. Indeed, it's so easy even she can handle it.]

Well, you'll need lots of sugar for it too. What about the milk and the eggs?

gmail sucks and is jealous of the awesome

[chronomancer]

Uh, there.

[See? He went and set everything out!]

Will that be enough?

Re: gmail sucks and is jealous of the awesome

[terreifying]

I think so. It's around the same amount I used. We can always add more if there's not enough.

[She holds up the measuring spoons.]

So tell me what to scoop up, Captain!

[chronomancer]

...uh. Okay.

[SO UNSURE. Now let him read the instructions with a little stutter. Help him, Obi-Wan KenoRei, you are his only hope.]

[terreifying]

[She'll do what he asks. Even if she spills a bit here and there, most of the ingredients end up in their proper bowls.]

[chronomancer]

[He peers at the bowls for a moment, then at the recipe again. Yeah, a little messy but, it works. He thinks. Maybe. Probably.]

Right now... to mix this. Does the order matter?

[terreifying]

Yep. See, you gotta mix the liquids with the liquids and the solids with the solids. And if you mix one liquid with one solid too quickly at first, it turns into something weird and gross and you can't mix anything else in anymore.

[This is something she's gleaned through trial and error.]

[chronomancer]

Huh. I wouldn't have thought that mattered at all.

[He gives the bowls somewhat dubious looks now.]

...okay.

[Let's try to make this work.]

[terreifying]

I didn't either, until I made a mess in Mommy's kitchen.

So do I mix it, or do you?

[She's ready to stand aside if he wants to start his hands-on work early.]

[chronomancer]

Uh. You do liquids and I do solids and try not to make a mess?

[Because if he makes a mess, he'll have to clean it up.]

[terreifying]

Okay!

[She pours all the liquids into a big bowl and starts stirring them together.]

[chronomancer]

[He nods slowly and turns to his own bowl, full with dry ingredients. He starts mixing them slowly, almost hesitantly. You'd think he's working with TNT the way he's moving.]

How do you know when you can mix them together, though?

[terreifying]

When everything is stirred evenly, I guess. Like, everything looks like the same color.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan looks down at the bowl, then at Rei, then at the bowl again. He looks about to despair.]

...but everything's already white.

[terreifying]

[She look over at his bowl.]

Maybe it means the same shade of white? Like the sugar is a little whiter than the flour.